by Ramona Gray
She smiled at Matt. “So, Pheebs’ car seat is in my car, but her backpack is still at my place. Any chance you can stop and pick it up?”
“Sure. We’ll come by after Nat’s break is over and pick it up.”
“Perfect. Well, I’ll leave you guys to your family dinner. See you in a bit, Matt.” Maggie slid out of the booth and walked away.
“Thank you, Matt. Really,” I said.
He ruffled Phoebe’s hair and smiled down at her. “I don’t mind. I like spending time with her.”
“That’s ‘cause I great,” Phoebe said cheerfully.
Matt burst into laughter before bending and kissing the top of her head. “You sure are, kid.”
* * *
“Hey, thank you for picking me up again,” I said as I climbed into Matt’s truck. I turned to smile at Phoebe who was strapped into her car seat in the back seat.
“Hi, Mama.”
“Hi, sweetpea. Did you have fun with Matt?”
“Uh-huh.” She yawned and stared out the window. “I up late.”
As the street lights bathed Matt in dim light, I squinted at his neck. “What is that?”
“Tattoo.”
“A tattoo?” I leaned in closer, the seatbelt cutting into my neck. “You got a Little Mermaid tattoo on your neck?”
Phoebe giggled. “I got one too, Mama.”
I turned and stared at her arm where a matching tattoo was plastered across her forearm. I laughed and turned back to Matt. “You let her put a temporary tattoo on you?”
“Tattoos,” Matt said. “Don’t be jealous of my new ladies, but I now have Belle, Princess Tiana, and Elsa tattoos on my chest.”
I giggled again. “You know, if it wasn’t so obvious before, it’s completely obvious now.”
“What?” He asked.
“Phoebe has you wrapped around her little finger.”
He gave me an adorable smile that sent warmth rushing to my chest. “She does.”
“Thank you,” I said again in a low voice. “Phoebe really likes you and it’s sweet of you to be so kind to her.”
“I really like her too,” he said. “I keep telling you, she’s a great kid.”
I smiled and didn’t object when he took my hand and gave it a quick squeeze. I stared silently out the window as Phoebe sang softly to herself behind us. Matt would be a great dad. His patience with Phoebe, the way he so sweetly treated her… it made my chest ache. Phoebe deserved to have someone like Matt in her life and I was second-guessing my decision to hold off on dating until Phoebe was older. If I found the right guy, someone like Matt who genuinely enjoyed being with her, it would be good for Phoebe and for me.
Someone like Matt? Girl, Matt is perfect for you and Phoebe. Get your damn head out of your ass.
Was he? He was certainly much different than I thought, but from what I’d heard, he’d never had a single serious relationship. The guy was in his mid-twenties and never had a serious girlfriend – that had warning bells written all over it.
People can change.
Yeah, they could. Not always for the better – Evan was proof of that.
“You okay?” Matt’s voice was low.
“Yes.” I made myself smile at him. “I’m good.”
* * *
I stared blankly at the ceiling before grabbing my cell phone and checking the time. It was quarter after eleven and I was wide awake. I studied Phoebe’s sleeping body next to mine, smiling a little when she snored loudly.
Worried that I would try and jump Matt the minute Phoebe was asleep, I’d gone to bed when she did. I’d had a hot shower after she fell asleep and then climbed into bed. Matt had gone to his room only twenty minutes later and the faint creak of his bed as he’d climbed into it made me long to join him.
Would it be so bad to join him for a quickie? Phoebe was sleeping soundly, and I was confident she wouldn’t wake up. Why shouldn’t I crawl into Matt’s bed for an hour or so? I’d spent the last two years taking care of Phoebe, worrying about money and bills and having enough food… why shouldn’t I take a little time for myself? Why shouldn’t I give myself one last round of sex with Matt? I deserved it, right?
Hell, yes, you do. But you know it’s more than just scratching an itch now, right? You love him. You can deny it all you want, but you are head over heels for Matt Andrews.
My stomach made a funny little flip-flop and I pressed my hand against it. Admitting I was maybe in love with Matt, especially after only a few days, would make me a real weirdo. Sure, he made me laugh and he really seemed to enjoy Phoebe’s company, and he was kind and generous, and the way he snorted a little whenever he laughed really hard was super adorable, but that wasn’t love.
And, okay, maybe thinking about leaving him and returning to my stupid lonely trailer on Monday where I wouldn’t see him every day made me sick to my stomach and hopelessly depressed, but that didn’t mean I loved him.
I just liked him… a whole lot. A ‘I can’t even fathom being without you now’ lot. That was normal and not at all weird. Right?
I threw back the covers and slid out of the bed, creeping silently out of our bedroom and down the hall to Matt’s. His door was partially open and, before I could talk myself out of it, I slipped into his room and shut the door completely. I had taught Phoebe to knock on any closed door and wait for an answer before she opened it. If she did wake up, it would at least give me a few minutes to…
Stop banging Matt’s brains out?
Crude, but yeah.
So wrapped up in my own head, I didn’t hear the soft groans coming from Matt’s bed at first. Didn’t notice the way the bed covers were tented or the rough motion of his hand under the sheet.
I stopped only a couple feet from the bed, my mouth going dry and my pussy going wet, as I watched Matt masturbate. His other arm was pressed over his eyes and I watched his wide chest rise and fall rapidly as another low groan fell from his perfect lips.
Fuck, watching Matt touch himself was way hotter than I ever imagined. Part of me wanted to stay right where I was and watch him bring himself to orgasm. Another part of me wanted to pull back those covers and replace his hand with my mouth.
Lust beat out the voyeurism, and I joined him at the bed, pulling back the covers as he made a harsh sound of surprise and half sat up. He stared blankly at me, one hand still wrapped around his dick. “Nat, what are you doing in here?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” I pressed a kiss below his navel, smiling at the way he moaned and twitched. “Looks like you can’t either.”
“Nat,” he moaned when I licked his v-line, “please.”
“I know I said we had to stop, but,” I smiled up at him and trailed my fingers across his inner thighs, “would you mind terribly if I sucked your dick for a while?”
His hand was already wrapping in my hair, already tugging me toward that deliciously erect cock. “I don’t mind.”
“Are you sure?” I teased before licking the precum from the head of his cock. “You look like you know what you’re doing with your hand.”
He half-groaned, half-laughed. “Your mouth, Nat. Please.”
I smiled smugly at the pleading sound of his voice before taking the head of his cock into my mouth. I sucked lightly and then traced the ridge with my tongue. His hands fisted in my hair, his hips jerking up as he made another low pleading sound.
I leaned back, ignoring the slight pain as my hair pulled and smiled up at him. “What were you thinking about while you touched yourself, Mattie?”
“You,” he said. “Your tits, your pussy, your mouth… oh fuck, that feels so good.”
I’d licked his cock while he answered me, and I licked it again before sitting up and stripping off my t-shirt and sleep shorts. I opened my legs and lazily rubbed my pussy as Matt watched.
“I’m so wet already, Mattie.”
“Fuck me,” he said hoarsely. “Fuck me right now, Nat.”
“Soon,” I said. Still rubbing my pussy, I leaned over hi
m and took him into my mouth again. I bobbed my head up and down as Matt gathered my hair into a loose ponytail and watched me suck his cock.
“Oh fuck, yeah, just like that, sweetheart.” His low moans of pleasure were turning me on more than my fingers rubbing my clit.
When his big body tensed and his cock swelled in my mouth, I pulled away, gasping for breath and licking my swollen lips.
“No, please, Nat,” he whispered.
I smiled at him and showed him my wet fingers. “My pussy needs your cock.”
He groaned again and made no objection when I reached into the nightstand and grabbed a condom. I unwrapped it and he helped me roll it over his cock, pushing my hands away when I moved too slow.
I giggled and patted his flat abdomen. “Someone’s in a hurry.”
“Ride me. Now.” His voice was hard, and the change from his usual sweet tenderness sent an unexpected wave of lust through me.
Tossing aside my plan to tease and torment, I immediately straddled his hips, rising up a little so he could guide his cock to my waiting pussy. He pushed inside of me, the head breaching my entrance and making me moan happily.
His hard hands grabbed my hips, holding tight as I sank down onto his cock. When he was completely sheathed, he reached up and cupped my tits, squeezing and kneading them as I moved up and down.
“Faster,” he demanded.
I braced my hands on his chest and thrust faster. The thick slide of his cock was pure pleasure and I leaned over him, brushing my mouth against his as his arms slid around me. He held me tight and fucked me with long, deep strokes. I ground my clit against his pubic bone, moaning and panting and begging him to move faster as he pressed kisses against my throat and upper chest.
“Yes,” I whispered, “oh God, yes, right there, right…”
I threw my head back as my orgasm washed over me, clamping one hand over my mouth and only dimly aware of the way Matt buried his face into my throat to muffle his own cry of ecstasy. His big body shook beneath mine, his hips thrusting back and forth as we both panted harshly.
He pressed hot kisses against my throat, holding me still when I tried to slide off of him.
“Not yet,” he whispered into my ear.
I relaxed against his big body, resting my head on his broad chest as he stroked my back with his warm hands. It felt so good to be in his arms. I was already feeling sleepier and I stifled a yawn as Matt kissed my temple.
“So good,” I muttered.
“Hmm,” he replied.
“Sorry I interrupted your personal time.”
He laughed. “Sweetheart, feel free to join me in my bed whenever you want.”
I kissed his chest and slid off of him. He tossed the condom in the wastebasket and I gave him a sweet smile when he turned to face me and put his arms around me again. “I really like being on top.”
“I like it too,” he said before kissing me.
I studied his face in the dim light. “Sorry I snuck into your bed in the middle of the night.”
“I do not have a problem with it, Natalia.”
I smiled a little. “I should go back to my own bed. If Phoebe wakes up, I don’t want her seeing me in your bed.”
A mask fell over his face and he nodded. “Yeah, okay.”
“It’s – it would confuse her, Matt.”
“I know,” he said. “It’s fine.”
Despite what I said, I didn’t want to leave. I traced the princess tattoos that were plastered haphazardly on his upper chest. “I like your new tattoos.”
He gave me a brief smile. “Thanks. You’d better go, Nat. It’s getting late and I have to work in the morning.”
“Yeah, okay.” I hesitated before giving him a brief kiss on the mouth. “Thank you, Matt. Good night.”
“Night.”
I climbed out of bed and hurriedly dressed. I glanced at Matt. He had already turned on his side to face the wall and I ignored my urge to climb back into his bed. I was already giving him mixed messages by sneaking into his bed tonight, I didn’t need to make it worse.
Chapter Ten
Matt
I toed off my boots and hung my jacket in the hallway. The house smelled delicious, like chicken stew and homemade biscuits, and I followed my nose to the kitchen. Natalia was sitting at the table, a glass of wine in one hand and a book in the other. I stared at her, feeling a wave of love that was overwhelming in its intensity.
She’d be leaving tomorrow, and things would change. The two of us living in the same town, but no longer lovers or even, I swallowed heavily, friends.
She glanced up, her smile warm and welcoming. “Hey, you’re finally home.”
“Yeah. Something smells really good.”
“I made stew and biscuits for supper. I ate with Phoebe earlier, but I’ve got some warming on the stove for you.”
“Thanks. Sorry I’m late.”
“That’s okay. Is it always this busy on a Sunday?”
I shook my head. “No. There was a bad accident just outside of town near the end of our shift.”
She studied me, a line appearing in the smooth skin between her eyes. “You okay?”
I nodded. “Is Phoebe still awake?”
She shook her head and a wave of depression washed over me. Even though it was after eight and Phoebe was usually in bed by seven-thirty at the latest, I had spent the entire ride home hoping that Phoebe would still be awake.
I made myself smile at Nat. “Okay, I’m gonna have a quick shower.”
I left the kitchen before she could question me further. I stripped off my uniform and showered away the smell of blood and antiseptic and terror. Ten minutes later, dressed in a t-shirt and track pants, I still couldn’t shake the lingering unease. I paused in front of the guest bedroom before slipping inside.
Phoebe was sleeping in the middle of the bed with her thumb in her mouth and her hair in her eyes. I sat down gingerly on the side of the bed before reaching out and brushing her hair away from her face. My hand was shaking, and I clenched it into a tight fist. I was being stupid, but I needed to see Phoebe, needed to make sure she was safe and happy and -
“Mattie?” Nat’s soft voice caressed my splintered nerves as her soft hand caressed the back of my neck. “Honey, what’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I said in a low voice. “I needed – I mean – I wanted to see Phoebe.”
Nat’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “I can wake her up, if you’d like.”
I shook my head and stood up. “No, that’s okay. I -” my voice cracked, and I cleared my throat. “I’m gonna go eat.”
I slipped out of the room and hurried down the stairs. I had zero appetite, but I had to get away from Nat for a few minutes. If she knew how much I cared not just about her, but about Phoebe, she’d run like a frightened deer. She didn’t want a relationship with me, and I knew and understood why she didn’t, but fuck if it didn’t feel like there was a smoking crater where my heart used to be.
I grabbed a beer from the fridge, twisting off the cap and tossing it in the garbage before drinking nearly half of it. Nat came into the kitchen and, without speaking, she spooned out a bowl of stew and set it on the table.
“Eat, honey,” she said.
I sat down, holding the spoon in my hand and staring at the stew. It smelled delicious, but my urge to eat was still somewhere south of never. Nat set a plate of biscuits next to the bowl.
“Thanks,” I muttered.
When I didn’t make any move to eat, she tapped on my shoulder. “Push your chair back.”
I pushed it back and was numbly grateful when Nat sat down in my lap and put her arms around my shoulders. She hugged me hard and I buried my face in her throat as she kneaded the tense muscles in my neck.
I put my arms around her waist, breathing in her scent and trying to forget the images burned into my head. After almost ten minutes, I raised my head and stared up at her. She cupped my face, stroking my cheekbone with her thumb. “Better?”
> “Yeah. Sorry.”
“Don’t be. Do you want to talk about what happened?”
“The accident today, it was…” my voice was hoarse, “it was bad. Head on collision. The driver who caused it was drunk. Fucking wasted at four o’clock on a Sunday afternoon. He-he was dead when we got there, thrown from his vehicle, but we could smell the booze on him and there were open cans of beer all over his goddamn car and the road.”
Nat kissed my temple and held me a little tighter as I stared up at her. “In the other car was a man and a-a little girl Phoebe’s age.”
She stiffened and now it was my turn to rub her back soothingly. “They’re both okay. They both,” I made a disbelieving laugh, “walked away with nothing more than a few scratches and bruises. It was a goddamn miracle, Nat. Their car was… they had to use the jaws of life to get them both out. The little girl sat in her car seat, not crying or panicking, just holding her teddy bear and staring at us with this look on her face, like...”
My voice cracked again, and I buried my face in Nat’s throat for a second time. She rocked me back and forth, kissing the top of my head and making soothing sounds of comfort.
“I kept seeing Phoebe instead of her.” My voice was as jagged as the broken glass at the accident scene. “I kept thinking what if that was Phoebe in the car, what if it had been her surrounded by chaos and blood? It terrified me, Nat.”
“It’s okay, honey.” Her voice was a soothing balm.
“They’re both fine. The little girl in the car – her name is Emily – is fine and Phoebe is fine, but I can’t stop seeing it differently. It’s why I needed to see Phoebe tonight. The entire drive home I kept seeing her in that mangled car and…”
“It’s all right, honey.” Nat pressed another kiss against the top of my head. I rested my cheek against her chest and listened to the steady beat of her heart. I had no idea how much time passed, but when Phoebe padded silently into the kitchen, I automatically dropped my arms from Nat’s waist.
Instead of jumping off my lap, Nat smiled at Phoebe. “Come here, sweetpea.”
“Why you sittin’ on Mattie’s lap, Mama?” Phoebe asked.
