by A. K. Evans
“Don’t tell me you’re okay with what that guy is doing,” I pleaded with Sam.
Shaking her head, she insisted, “Of course not. But that doesn’t mean I want my best friend to get involved in something that isn’t hers to get involved in. It’s the kind of thing that’ll only create more issues for her. She doesn’t need that.”
I was relieved to at least hear that Sam wasn’t cool with what the guy was doing. Her acceptance of things that Mitch said to her had me questioning just how much she’d put up with before ending things. Worse yet, I wondered if there were any limits to what she’d tolerate.
“Right. That makes sense,” I agreed. “So, what about you? Do you have any crazy people you’re dealing with right now?”
Sam shook her head. “It hasn’t been too bad this week for me. But I’ve also been making an effort to not see all the bad in the job.”
“Yeah, that’s because there isn’t an event this weekend,” Demi chimed in. “Don’t worry, I’m sure next week it’ll be back to normal for you. Unlike you, I’ve got to go in this weekend. I just know I better not see that guy again.”
Sam laughed again.
I jumped at the opportunity. “You aren’t working this weekend?” I asked Sam.
“Nope. It’s the first weekend in many that there hasn’t been something going on at work,” she replied.
“You should stop in on Saturday,” I urged. “I’ve got a new band coming in for a live performance. I haven’t heard them play before, but a couple of people on staff have told me they’re pretty good.”
Something washed over Sam’s face. I couldn’t read the look, but it was clear there was a bit of nervousness about her.
“Sam?” I called when she looked away from me.
She brought her eyes back to mine, and I pressed, “What’s going on?”
Sam hesitated a moment before she responded, “I would have loved to stop in and check out the band, Cal, but I’m actually not going to be here this weekend.”
“Oh?” I replied, trying to keep the sound of my voice neutral. If she’d been nervous to tell me what was happening, I had a feeling this had something to do with Mitch. Even though I didn’t want to think about him taking her anywhere, I still asked, “Where are you going?”
“Mitch took Friday off from work, and we’re leaving tomorrow night,” she started. “He is taking me to Connecticut so I can see where he grew up and meet his parents.”
Damn.
Shit.
Fuck.
For the last few months, I had convinced myself that Sam would no longer be with Mitch by now, and it seemed I wasn’t just wrong. I was dead wrong. Sam wasn’t pulling away from him. In fact, if he was taking her to meet his parents, then it was quite the opposite.
“That’s cool,” I returned. “I hope you have a good time.”
Sam gave me a curious look. Then she said, “Thanks, Cal.”
“So, tell me about this band,” Demi interrupted. “I need to decide if I’m going to drag my ass here on Saturday.”
God, I was so grateful for her.
And because I was willing to do anything to avoid talking to Sam about Mitch taking her to meet his parents, I honored Demi’s request.
From that point forward, the conversation never entered dangerous territory again. But by the time I was home in my bed, I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it. In all the thinking I did, I came to one conclusion.
Maybe it was time for me to stop torturing myself.
Maybe it was time I tried to move on.
Two months later
“You’re making a huge mistake!”
“I’m not.”
I walked up on the opposite side of the bar where Demi and Sam were clearly having a heated argument. Thankfully, it was early in the day, and there were only a handful of other patrons.
“You’re settling,” Demi insisted.
“That’s not what’s happening at all,” Sam shot back.
“Then explain it to me,” Demi demanded.
“Ladies?” I interrupted.
They turned their heads in my direction, and they both looked like they were ready to shoot daggers out of their eyes at me.
I didn’t know what was going on, but I knew something wasn’t right. And I had no choice but to figure out what was happening and get to the bottom of it right then and there because there wasn’t going to be any time tonight.
It was the second anniversary of the opening of Granite tonight. We were having a bit of a celebration, a new band was going to be playing, and I knew I’d be swamped. I was already overwhelmed, which is part of the reason why Sam and Demi had both taken a half-day at work. They offered to do that so they could come and help me out.
Everything had been going great all afternoon, so I didn’t know where things had suddenly gone wrong. I intended to find out, though.
With their gazes pinned on me, I asked, “Can someone tell me what’s going on here?”
“Ask Sam,” Demi ordered. “Apparently, I have no idea what I’m talking about.”
“You don’t,” Sam insisted, returning her attention to my cousin. “Not about this anyway.”
“Okay. Whatever you say. I guess after six years, I don’t know when my best friend has decided to make the biggest mistake of her life,” Demi said, not even attempting to hide the irritation in her voice.
At those words, my body froze.
Sam was making the biggest mistake of her life? What mistake? Oh, God. Please don’t let it be what I think it is.
“Sam?” I called, my voice cracking.
She looked at me again, and I saw the sadness in her eyes. “Yeah?” she answered quietly.
“What is Demi talking about? What mistake does she think you’re making?” I questioned her.
Sam nervously bit her lip and hesitated to respond. Eventually, she rasped, “I’m closing my store.”
“What?”
“My T-shirts,” she clarified. “I’m closing the online store.”
My eyes widened. As shocking as it was to hear that, it was also a relief. I had convinced myself in a matter of seconds that she was going to tell me that she was engaged.
“Really? Are you opening a brick and mortar instead?” I pressed. Even if that was what she was planning to do, I still didn’t think it was wise to close her online store.
Sam shook her head.
“I don’t understand,” I told her.
“You don’t understand because it makes no damn sense,” Demi interjected. “That’s why you’re confused. That’s why I’m confused. It’s not logical.”
“Sam?” I said, my voice gentle.
She wouldn’t look at me. With each second that passed, she was growing more and more uncomfortable.
“Sam?” I called again.
Slowly, she lifted her eyes to mine. Unshed tears filled them.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
“It’s never going to happen,” she rasped. “I haven’t had much success with it, and I’ve been trying for forever, Cal.”
“Okay,” I replied. “So, you keep pushing. You keep going. This is your dream. How can you just give it up?”
“Dreams don’t always come true,” she countered.
“That doesn’t mean you give up on them.”
“I already have,” she confessed. “I haven’t touched a shirt in months. It’s not like I have a lot of free time now anyway.”
“Make time,” I demanded. “Why would you give up?”
I was beyond upset about this. Sam was so good, so talented. I wasn’t saying that because I felt the way I did about her, either. She really was that good. I didn’t understand this at all.
Demi let out a frustrated growl and snapped, “I know I probably shouldn’t say this, but somebody needs to. You’re giving up everything that’s you because of him. That’s not cool.”
“Demi!”
“It’s true, Sam,” Demi asserted. “You’re my best friend, a
nd over the last couple of months, I’ve seen you lose yourself. He doesn’t support you the way he should, and I’m sorry, but again, that’s not cool.”
Shaking her head, Sam retorted, “You know what’s not cool? My so-called best friend criticizing me instead of supporting my decision.”
“I could do that if it actually were your decision,” Demi shot back. “I know this isn’t what you want.”
I was about to jump in just so I could try to calm everyone down, but a phone rang. Sam dug through her purse, pulled it out, and looked at the display.
“Hey,” she answered.
There was silence while whoever was on the other line spoke.
“You’re almost home?” she asked. “I thought you were going to be late tonight.”
Silence again.
“Oh, well, that’s good. I’m at Granite right now. Tonight is the second anniversary of the opening, so I’ll probably be a while yet,” Sam shared.
It was at that point that I concluded she must have been on the phone with Mitch. I pretended to be busy with the napkins behind the bar, but I kept my eyes on Sam. I was already concerned about her, given the conversation that had just transpired between her and Demi, but then something I did not like washed over her face. I grew even more concerned.
Her voice dipped lower, and she said, “Of course, you are. But Cal is my friend, and I want to be here to support him and celebrate with him tonight.”
There was no denying it now. She was definitely on the phone with Mitch. I watched closely as she grew even more frustrated and sad. I hated seeing that look on her face.
The next thing I knew, she murmured, “Okay, I’ll leave now and meet you back home.”
What?
Sam disconnected the call and dropped her phone back into her purse. Then she looked up at me and lamented, “I’m really sorry, Cal. I can’t stay tonight.”
“Sam—” I got out before I was cut off.
“He demanded you leave, and you’re leaving?” Demi scoffed. “You can’t be serious, Sam.”
Sam snapped her head in Demi’s direction. “What is your problem today?”
“My problem is my best friend is missing, and her boyfriend is to blame for her disappearance,” Demi answered.
Sam ignored Demi, looked back at me, and said, “I’m so proud of you, Cal, and I wish I could stay to celebrate with you. But I’ve got to go. Congratulations.”
As she got up to leave, I found my body moving to the opposite end of the bar so I could walk out from behind it. Once I did, I moved back toward where Sam and Demi had been seated. Demi was still on her stool; Sam had gotten up and turned toward the exit.
Just as she started to walk away, I reached my hand out and curled my fingers around her arm.
Sam spun around quickly, and her body nearly collided with mine. As she stared up into my eyes, my thumb stroked tenderly over her arm.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
“Are you okay?”
She hesitated briefly before she gave a slight movement of her head. “Yeah, I’m fine,” she insisted.
I shook my head. “I’m not talking about what happened just now,” I started. “I mean, are you okay?”
“Yes, Cal, I’m okay,” she maintained.
I searched her face. Demi was right. The Sam we knew and loved was missing. Bits and pieces of her were still there, but she was mostly gone. And the fact that she was giving up on her dream for no good reason at all was a clear indication of that.
“Are you happy?” I asked. “Deep down, Sam, are you really happy?”
“I would be if everyone would stop questioning me,” she claimed.
“You’re leaving,” I told her, wondering if a different approach might work.
Nodding, she confirmed, “Yes, I am. I’m sorry. I need to leave.”
“You’re going to miss this tonight?” I asked, even though I already knew the answer.
Sam’s eyes moved from mine to Demi and back again. Then she rasped, “Yes.”
She turned to leave again, and I called her name.
Twisting her neck to look back but never fully turning her body to mine, she asked, “What?”
“You know if you need me, I’m here for you,” I offered. “No matter what it is.”
Sam held my eyes, dipped her chin, and left.
I watched her go.
For several long moments after she walked through the door, I stood there staring at it. Then I turned and moved back behind the bar.
When I rested my arms on the counter in front of Demi, I grumbled, “That guy is a dick.”
“You’ve got that right,” she agreed. Following a brief pause, she asked, “What are we going to do about it?”
“I’m not sure there’s anything we can do,” I told her. “If Sam is happy with him, we have to respect her choice.”
“She’s not, though.”
“What?”
“She’s not happy, Cal. You’ve seen her. She’s not Sam.”
I couldn’t argue with that. And if I was being completely honest with myself, I’d seen it long before tonight and simply ignored it. Maybe it wasn’t so obvious, or perhaps I just didn’t want to think that something like that was happening. Either way, there was no denying it now.
“No, she’s not,” I said. “But Sam’s still in there, and she’s still our best friend.”
“She’s still the woman you’re in love with,” Demi added.
I held her gaze for several long seconds, not attempting to deny what she’d said because it was true.
A moment later, I said, “We’ve got to stick by her, no matter what.”
“I’m not sure she’s going to let me do that,” Demi worried. “She’s pretty ticked off at me. She might not ever go back to being the Sam we knew.”
My eyes slid away from my cousin and went back to the door that Sam had walked through. “She will,” I assured Demi. Then, because I wasn’t sure I believed the words that just came out of my mouth, I added, “She better.”
Nine
Calvin
I should have been ready.
Considering everything that had happened over the last couple of months, I should have known this was eventually going to happen.
I should have known, and I should have prepared.
Because now that it had happened, I wasn’t sure I could handle it.
Then again, even if I had heeded all the warning signs and done something to prepare for this day, there was no doubt I would have driven myself crazy wondering when it was going to happen.
That wasn’t to say that I didn’t frequently have thoughts about it happening. It was just that I made no attempt to have a game plan in place so I’d be ready when the day arrived.
And now it was here.
All it took was one look. One look, and I knew.
While I felt nothing but relief knowing what I was seeing, I also hated it at the same time.
Sam had just walked through the door of my bar for the first time in three weeks. Heartbreak was written all over her face.
The last time she’d been here, I’d been the one to walk away because I couldn’t stand to see her with that guy any longer. I couldn’t handle watching him with her.
Now, it seemed as though I’d gotten my wish. The only problem with it was that in order for me to get what I wanted, Sam had to have her heart broken. I didn’t exactly like the tradeoff.
Walking right up to her usual spot, Sam stopped and stared at me.
I didn’t know what was going through her mind, but something deep down inside told me that she wouldn’t have come here if she didn’t need me. So, without an actual plan, I decided to wing it.
“Do you want to talk here, or would you like to go somewhere else?” I asked.
Her voice was quiet when she replied, “Are you able to leave?”
I nodded.
Then, because he was the closest to me, I didn’t hesitate to let Billy know I was running out for a li
ttle bit and would be back as soon as possible. Confident I was leaving the bar in good hands, I walked to the opposite end, stepped out from behind the counter, and made my way back to Sam. I put a hand to the middle of her back and urged her toward the door.
Once we were outside, I guided her to my car. Without a word, Sam went right where I was leading her. And when I opened the passenger door, she didn’t hesitate to fold into the car and sit. After closing her door, I rounded the car, got in on the opposite side, and stuck my key in the ignition.
“Where do you want to go?” I asked.
Sam swallowed hard, continuing to stare out the windshield, and answered, “Anywhere that’s private.”
I could give her that.
So, I turned on the car and backed out of the spot. Then I pulled out of the lot and started driving.
Sam and I didn’t speak as I drove. As much as I wanted her to be able to get everything out that she was feeling, part of me was grateful she hadn’t launched into it yet. The last thing I wanted was for her to be feeling any sort of pain or anguish—more than she already was—and me not be able to do anything about it because my hands were on the wheel and my eyes were on the road.
Well, they were mostly on the road.
I had already glanced over at her several times. And each time I did, I felt worse and worse. She looked so broken. I thought that was going to be the worst of it, but when we were just three or four minutes away from our destination, I’d taken another glimpse at her and saw a single tear rolling down her cheek.
I couldn’t help myself. I needed to give her some kind of comfort, so I reached across the center console and took ahold of her hand.
After giving her a gentle squeeze, I promised, “You’re going to be okay, Sam. No matter what happened, I will make sure you’re okay and get you through this.”
Sam didn’t look over at me, but her fingers tightened around mine. I knew that was her way of communicating that she believed me. Or, maybe it wasn’t that she believed me just yet. But at the very least, she had heard me. And for the time being, that was enough for me.
