High Plains Heartbreak (Love On The High Plains Book 3)

by Simone Beaudelaire

  At last Addie was able to relax.

  Chapter 5

  Pale pink light filtered through Jesse's closed eyelids, waking him gently. A sense of deep contentment seemed to illuminate his entire being. He opened slowly, taking in the not quite sunrise colors of the sky, pink fading to dark blue, with every imaginable shade of lavender. The wind blowing the evergreen perfume still had a chill bite, but wrapped in his warm wool blankets, his little friend cuddled close to his side, he scarcely felt it. Ah, Addie. How sweet it is to wake up holding a woman. This must be what it's like to be married. I wonder if any of my friends have taken the plunge. Allie and Wes probably married the first second they could, thought I would have expected Kristina to write me about it, and she hasn't said anything. But what about Kristina? Did anyone take on her freckles, her music and her German temper? She's a good girl, but it would still be a tall order. I hope whatever she's doing, that she's happy. I hope they're all happy. I do miss them, more than I expected.

  A movement in the vicinity of Jesse's shoulder alerted him to the fact that Addie was waking. During the night they'd shifted, him to his back, with her facing him on her side, her head pillowed on his upper chest. Now the clear, soft light of predawn illuminated wide brown eyes that looked deep into him. She seemed to be studying his soul.

  “Jesse,” she whispered, her full lips bending around his name.

  He beckoned with the fingers of his free hand. She scooted up. A strange haze of desire seemed to wash over them both moments before their lips came together. Addie kissed the way she lived, with an utter absence of reticence. Her mouth made free with his, clinging, her hands on his cheeks pinning him in place. Not that he had any desire to move… well maybe one move. Wrapping his arms around her, he rolled. Now she lay on her back on the ground, and Jesse stretched out above her, his weight braced on one forearm, his free hand shoved into her braid. This is like coming home. He touched her lips with the tip of his tongue, wondering what her reaction would be. Deep kisses normally didn't go over well with a woman, the first time she tried it. Not so Addie. She opened eagerly, tangling her tongue with his. Okay, so she's done this before. Not that he felt dissuaded by the realization. Instead, knowing she wasn't about to go into hysterics, that she knew what he wanted and wanted it too, freed him to explore her with one long, deep kiss after another. Addie hummed, clearly enjoying their embrace as much as he did. She shifted, unconsciously aligning their bodies. The movement aroused him further, sending blood straight to his groin and engorging his sex. He pumped his hips just a little. Now Addie broke the kiss with a startled squeak.

  “Too much?” he asked, smiling at the sight of her blush. “I can't say I'm sorry.” He pressed soft kisses to her lips, forehead, nose and back to her lips again.

  “Not sorry,” she agreed.

  “Should we get this day started?” he suggested.

  “Yes, I think so,” she replied, sounding a bit shy.

  He rose and helped her to her feet, groaning as the rigid denim of his jeans compressed his erection.

  Addie hurried to the edge of the woods and disappeared into the trees. Jesse shrugged. He wouldn't be able to tend to his personal needs until his engorgement abated a bit, so instead he added some kindling to the embers of their fire and collected water from the stream to make some coffee in a battered tin kettle he kept at the bottom of one saddle bag.

  Soon the girl returned, clad as he'd expected in her divided riding skirt paired with a white pleated shirtwaist, her black funeral garment nowhere to be seen. Why does it not surprise me she's ignoring the custom of dressing in mourning? He grinned and left her to make his own trip into the woods.

  By the time he returned, two cups of coffee awaited, and the kettle had been pressed into service again, this time for softening hardtack and blueberries in water into a sort of makeshift porridge. Jesse rolled his eyes and drank his coffee. Not much hope for that sad mush, but at least we'll be able to start off with full bellies. Hopefully we'll find a town today where we can buy some supplies. I'm low on coffee. And a bit of sugar sure would come in handy. Bet Mercury would like a good meal too.

  A long delay in town would slow their journey, but somehow, Jesse didn't mind.

  They'd dawdled over two hours in a little collection of structures too small to be called a town, which sat at the southern edge of the mountain chain they'd just abandoned. At least they'd been able to purchase some food and a hot bath each, plus a bag of hot mash for Mercury. The longsuffering horse seemed much happier to be traversing flat country.

  But to pass the night, they chose the open sky once again. This time there was no pretending they would sleep on opposite sides of the fire. They made up their pallet together and lay down, bodies entwined, sending each other into sleep with long, tender kisses.

  When morning woke the couple in their nest of blankets, their bodies were already entwined, hands clutching indiscreet parts. Addie had wormed her fingers inside the buttons of Jesse's shirt. His big palm enveloped the swell of her breast. Though she knew what propriety dictated, she made no move to shake him off. His touch pleased her. Already the swollen nipple was responding with tingling satisfaction.

  “Mornin', Addie,” he murmured in the sweetest sleepy drawl as his hand closed, deliberately turning the accidental touch into a deliberate caress, plucking her nipple and making her moan with pleasure.

  “Jesse,” she replied, arching her back and pressing her breast closer. He raised one eyebrow at her eagerness. Rather than answer the unasked question in his quizzical expression, she drew his mouth down to hers. Kissing Jesse is a little taste of heaven. I could go on forever. Just a man, a woman and the open sky. What more could anyone ask? She led out this time, parting her lips and teasing him with the tip of her tongue.

  Mouths deeply mated, Addie guided Jessie's questing fingers to her other breast, which ached for his touch, and he didn't disappoint. Taking a firm grip on the eager bud, he tugged and rolled, making her pant with pleasure. Her thighs parted naturally as moisture surged.

  “Nice,” he hummed against her lips. “Good enough to eat. What do you say, Addie? Can I take a little taste?”

  She bit her lip and opened the buttons of her shirtwaist, baring her chemise, whose sheer fabric barely concealed her, to his view. He immediately lowered the front of the garment so her naked breasts experienced the kiss of the sun and the fragrant breeze.

  Jesse thumbed one nipple with expert care, and the little brown bud reacted even more eagerly. “I think someone's been naughty,” he commented, and then he bent his head, stopping her response with a delicate lap of his tongue. He licked and suckled, drawing moans and sighs of pleasure. One nipple and then the other was subjected to his tender torment. Addie's toes curled inside her stockings. Feels so good. Oh, Jesse! But words escaped her. She could only pant. Heat coiled and spiraled in her belly until her secret places felt swollen and so hot.

  “More,” she finally managed to gasp. “Please, Jesse. More.”

  He chuckled and complied, gathering up her skirts to the waist and seeking the open seam of her bloomers.

  “Is this what you want, sweet girl?” he asked.

  “Ahhhh,” she sighed as his questing fingers slipped past the outer lips and delved into her wetness. She wriggled, trying to get his touch to the perfect spot, the little erect nub that seemed to be crying out for him.

  He knew. Of course he did, and moved right to it, thumbing her and making her breath catch in her throat.

  Jesse was thoroughly enjoying Addie's responses. Clearly she'd been touched before, maybe by that knucklehead, Ed. That would explain their mutual animosity. At any rate, her willingness delighted him. He'd tried to restrain himself, thinking her a virgin, but he no longer needed to. Now he could enjoy her, they could enjoy each other. Her clitoris swelled hugely under his finger, wet and throbbing. Soon she would reach her peak, and then he could ease into that drenched, clenching passage. I can't hardly wait.

  But fo
r this, their first time coming together, he would wait, take her slow and easy and be sure she enjoyed it. If it was Ed, he seemed like he might not know his way around a lady. Jesse had plenty of practice in the pleasuring of women, and brought it all to bear on Addie, until she was poised, shuddering, on the precipice of ecstasy. Now she seemed uncertain. Just as I thought. She's never climaxed before. Jesse eased her over the edge, teasing gasping wails of pleasure from her as her body thrashed and clenched. Soon, soon, soon. The word repeated like a litany in his mind. Soon he would enjoy the fruits of the labor of passion he was bestowing on this deserving girl.

  Still working her bud, he slipped his finger down the cleft of her body and pressed into her passage, gauging her tightness, trying to estimate how slowly he would have to move to keep her comfortable. Tightest ever. And then he froze. A thin membrane partially blocked his forward movement.

  “Damn it, Addie,” he cursed. “You're a virgin!” He pulled his fingers back from caressing her and stood. She lay sprawled, half-naked on the blanket, her thighs spread wide.

  She blinked, startled by the rapid transition. “Yes. Did you think I wasn't?”

  “Addie, I'm not going to take your virginity!” he exclaimed, shaking his head.

  Addie's bare breasts heaved as she hoisted herself into a sitting position. “Explain, Jesse. Why did you think I wasn't a virgin?”

  “You were so… eager. You seemed to know how to take a man's touch, you know how to kiss. I just assumed…”

  She shook her head, easing her clothing back over her body. “I've kissed. And touched a little. Nothing more. But I lived on a farm, Jesse. My mother also talked to me about the ways of nature. And Dad…he brought home a woman now and again. I have some idea how it works.”

  “Kissed and touched whom?” Jealous anger flared, and Jesse quickly squashed it down. What difference does it make, idiot? You can't enjoy her experience and fault her for it at the same time.

  “Ed,” she replied with a disgusted sigh, hoisting herself to her feet. “We were engaged last year. Then he found out… found out I'm half Kiowa. After that he was done with me. Told me it was no wonder I was such a whore. I don't have to take that from anyone. Needless to say it ended badly.”

  “It ended with your boot in his balls and us run out of town at the end of a shotgun,” Jesse reminded her.

  Addie rolled her eyes.

  “Just why were you so eager to give it up to me anyway?” he demanded.

  She shrugged, unembarrassed by her behavior. “You're a good man. Good as any. I care for you. And… I had a dream. Dad seemed to think we'd be good together. I agree. So it seemed like a logical step.”

  Guilt bloomed in Jesse's gut. She thought we would be together, that we would be married someday. If I were a different sort of man it might be possible. I could think of a worse woman for a wife. “I'm sorry, Addie. I didn't mean to lead you on. But I can't marry you or anyone else. I never will. I thought you were the kind of girl who doesn't worry about the rules too much. I wouldn't have minded us… being together during this trip. But that would have been the end of it. Since you aren't that kind of girl… well your virginity belongs to your future husband. Since that can't be me, I won't take it.”

  “My virginity belongs to me,” she replied, one eyebrow cocked. “And I'll give or withhold it as I choose. But thank you for clarifying my thinking. I would hate to go on assuming there was a future for us.”

  “There is a future for us, Addie. As friends. I have always appreciated friendships with women, and I would be honored to consider you one of them.”

  Addie shrugged, her signature gesture, and plunked down on the ground to pull on her boots.

  This is going to be a long day.

  Mercury snorted and Addie patted his neck.

  Long day indeed, Jesse thought. Addie had scarcely opened her mouth since they set out from camp. Hour after hour they'd moved forward down a rough, tree shrouded path, the silence only broken by the soft ring of Mercury's iron shoes on the stones, and the soft sighing of the leather saddle and saddlebags. He really did feel terrible about the misunderstanding. And now that he'd had a chance to think about it, he could guess how it happened. Addie, being raised by a Kiowa mother, had not been instilled from a young age to hate and fear male attention. He'd heard from many snickering youths that Indian women were 'wanton', which he took to mean they didn't require marriage for intimacy. To Jesse's way of thinking, if they were following the rules of their own people, there was no call to judge them for it. And he knew they were, because he'd seen the results of rule breaking among the various tribes. Harsh punishments were meted out to those who scorned tribal law, torture and mutilation to their enemies.

  Growing up with an Indian mother and a mostly absent father must have left Addie with a very different view of intimacy. Especially as the cabin in which they lived offered nothing like privacy. She would have been aware of her parents' activities right from the start. And then, after her mother's death, her caregiver had been a pastor's wife. Jesse doubted the woman had been comfortable talking about such things so she probably hadn't. And her father's casual coupling with women reinforced the idea that sex was normal and nothing to be embarrassed about. She certainly hadn't been embarrassed. And how he'd enjoyed that, her open, responsive embrace. She'd make a lovely bedmate. But she was a virgin, and so he'd never know.

  “Addie,” he said, his voice barely audible, “I really am sorry for the misunderstanding. I never meant to lead you on or hurt you.”

  She smiled without mirth. “It's fine.”

  They fell back into their uncomfortable silence.

  As they rode, Jesse became aware of a darkening sky, a growing cold. Please don't let it rain.

  His prayer was answered. Instead of rain, fat snowflakes began to drift lazily to earth, caught up occasionally to swirl on the little breezes before settling on the stalks of dry prairie grass and dark, petal-less sunflowers.

  Snow in March? How typical. Likely it wouldn't last, at least not at this low elevation, but their ride tomorrow was likely to be wet and uncomfortable. Not to mention camping out tonight. He shook his head. They would have no choice but to share the blankets. He didn't want to freeze.

  As he had expected, at bedtime, Addie tried to balk, dragging her covering away from the fire towards the tree line.

  “Oh no you don't,” Jesse insisted, gripping her arm and escorting her back into their campsite and the warm, roaring fire. Despite her show of rebellion, she really didn't resist. He had no illusions that she wanted to be close to him after their awkward conversation earlier. But the temperature had dropped from unpleasantly cold to downright icy as twilight deepened, and the lure of the fire and another warm body to share heat couldn't be denied. She plunked down shivering beside the fire while he fashioned one blanket into a nest. He beckoned, giving her the best spot, with the fire in front of her and his body heat behind. She rolled to face away from him, one arm under her head and flipped the edge of the blanket over herself. He did the same, and then pulled the second blanket, which he'd folded in half, over both of them. If they stayed close, they might just be able to relax.

  “Tomorrow night we should be able to sleep indoors. I know of a travelers' cabin. A stove, warm, comfortable beds with quilts, even a bath if anyone wants to heat the water.”

  “Sounds good,” Addie replied, shivering.

  “You're stiff as a board,” Jesse pointed out, “You'll never be able to sleep like that.”

  She didn't shrug. Instead her breath caught on what sounded like a sniffle.

  “Don't be sad, Addie,” he urged.

  “I miss my dad,” she replied.

  Of course, idiot, Jesse scolded himself. Don't let your ego get the best of you. She's grieving. Not every sorrow she has is due to you.

  He hugged her a little closer and whispered into her ear, “He'll always be with you. You'll never be alone. Do you believe it, Addie?”

  She sagged. �
�I do.”

  “Go to sleep. You have a hired gun and a guardian angel watching over you.”

  “Thank you, Jesse,” she said, snuggling back against him.

  Addie woke crying in the night again. As they slept, they'd shifted positions several times, and now her whole front was plastered against Jesse's, her head pillowed on his bicep. Without a word he gathered her close, touching his lips to her forehead, then her cheeks, kissing away her tears. At last his mouth found hers. Drowsy and sad, she didn't remember the tense, uncomfortable events of the previous day. But she hadn't forgotten the growing attraction she felt to Jesse. The two of them fit together, heart to heart, mouth to mouth. He held her as he kissed her, his strong arms encircling her waist. Thinking only with her heart, Addie surrendered herself to Jesse. Whatever he wanted, she wanted. His golden hair felt silky under her fingertips. A thick swelling she understood, though she'd never actually felt one before, compressed against her belly.

  This is desire. This is passion. In this moment the world is newly created and me with it. Warmth swelled and spread inside her, touching each secret place with a glow like sunlight through amber. Slow and hot, his tongue penetrated her mouth as he tipped her onto her back and covered her body with his.

  “Addie,” he murmured, and she could see he was still drowsy, still acting on instinct and not thought.

  He rained kisses down her chin and onto her throat, taking a tiny bite at her collarbone and then licking away the sting. The warmth in Addie's core intensified, spiraling outward to her toes, which curled and flexed inside her stockings.

  This isn't love yet, but it could become love. Lost in a dizzying swirl of complicated emotions and sensations, Addie didn't protest when Jesse's hand closed over her breast. The pleasure ratcheted up, stopping her breath. Memory of his intimate touch earlier, of the exquisite peak he'd made her feel brought a surge of moisture between her legs. Only when the two become one is each complete. Only then do both find satisfaction. Her mother's words echoed in her heart. That's what I crave. Oneness with Jesse. He completes me, and I complete him. Surely he must feel it too.