by Simone Elise
“So was breakfast alright?”
My eyes slightly widened and I looked up, seeing Gabriella standing there, with a small polite smile on her face. I don’t know what to say, so I say nothing. My eyes ran over her skin, seeing the mark on her neck that had faded but I still saw traces of it. Guess it hurt more because that was my spot. That was my fucking spot, where I used to kiss her, mark her. Now she's ... his.
“Fine.” I finally replied and pushed the plate away. Going to get up. Then I heard it and so did everyone else. A man screaming. We were at a fucking clubhouse, men didn’t scream.
“What the hell was that?” Ellie said, and I was already taken off, heading out into the lot and I see Burns and Smoke trying to lift a fucking car up in the garage. What the fuck.
“He’s fucking under it!” Burns roared, straining as he tries to physically lift a car.
I walk quicker then see a body under the car, that had no wheels on. Fuck. I ran for the jack.
While Burns and Smoke are trying there fucking hardest to be super heros. I see now the fucking jacks broken.
“Call an ambulance.” I roared at the nearest person.
“We need to get it off him.”
“We do that, it could be the exact thing that kills him.” I know the basics, knew that the blood can rush your head, causing the brain to basically explode from the rush. When the member near me gets through to the ambulance I take the phone off him. Run through what the situation is happening.
“Is he breathing?” The ambulance officer says, and I realized as I lowered to the ground, it’s Maddox.
My fingers went for a pulse and I felt one. “Yeah he is.”
“Okay emergency services are on their way, now it’s really important we stay on the phone until they get there.” I then hand the phone to Ribs, cause I saw Gabriella, standing there, going pale. “Do everything the woman says.” I growled at Ribs and went for Ellie.
Wasn’t shit I could do for Maddox right now.
But I was able to help his woman. Her eyes are so fucking wide, her face deadly pale. I gripped her shoulders. “Come on Ellie you don’t need to see any of this.” I said it, and the fire station and emergency services are around the corner, so they were already pulling in the driveway of the lot. The ambulance was still on it’s way.
But when emergency services began to take over, I gripped Ellie by the hips. “Come on Gabriella, you can’t see this.” If he was about to die, when they lifted the car off him, she didn’t need to see that. It would scar her on a level, that she wouldn’t get over.
Then she goes to push around me and I’m forced to grip her, and lift her away. Wrapping my arms around her, and she started squealing.
Any woman, seeing their man under a pick up would react the same. So as I pulled her away, the emergency services didn’t even look this way, they were fighting to save Maddox.
“Don’t make me leave the lot!” She yelled fighting in my arms. And I pulled her around the garage, so she couldn’t see.
We had no idea what was going to happen. I just hoped and prayed for Gabriella’s sake, she didn’t lose the man she thought was the love of her life.
So I held her back against the garage, as she kicked, screamed and fought against me. But I didn’t let her go. When the sirens took off, I loosened my grip. “Calm down darling,” I say into her ear. And she slowly stilled, “I’m taking you up to the hospital now, and we can fucking sit up there till you get news. Now I need you to take a steady breathe in and think of what Maddox would say.”
She slowly nodded her head, and wiped her own tears away and I lowered her feet to the ground.
“We’re taking your bike. Cause I don’t want to worry about a car park.” She said as soon as her feet hit the ground and the emotion in her voice is so clear. She’s breaking right now, and I knew I had to keep the pieces together—somehow.
“Your old man still on the ride, yeah?” I said, and with Maddox under, that meant one fucking thing and my stomach tightened at that, as we headed for my bike.
She nodded her head, tears running down her cheeks. “Hurry up Hudson.” She snapped when she reaches the bike at the same time as me.
I climbed on, and she was quick to get on. I was a fucking selfish bastard and feeling her pinned against me, her arms wrapped around me, brought back memories of us. But I fought them. Cause the reality was, she was currently dying inside because she thought the man she loved was dying.
So I suffocated those feelings and took off. Gabriella could always hold on, no matter the speed. So I didn’t worry about the speed as I rode through the backroads heading for the hospital, the best way I knew how to get there.
And while I was focused on the road. It wasn’t lost on me. That with Chief on the ride, Maddox injured that meant, I was looked at to lead. National President always stepped in when chapters were in crisis, and this one, was in fucking crisis.
So that meant I just inherited a shit load of fucking problems.
The hours ticked into the small hours of the morning, and Ellie refused to eat, sleep or move. Just drink caffeine. I sat beside her the whole time. Told Chief what happened. He said he couldn’t come back without upsetting the deal. So I told him I’d handle it. But how the fuck I was going to handle it, I don’t know.
Ellie was so wired, and I saw herself working herself up—getting into her own head. I didn’t want her doing worse case, so whenever it looked like she was thinking the worst I’d bring up a story. Maddox and I, we grew up together. The man had cheated death on more times then I had.
If anyone could survive this. He could. Wasn’t saying that to be kind. I was saying that and reminding her of it, because her life depended on him breathing.
Finally it had to be nearly twenty four hours later, a surgeon walked through the door. And it wasn’t just the surgeon, there was a woman in a suit, and then the police behind them. Fuck. This wasn’t good news. I gave Ellie a reassuring smile, as she looked at me before looking back at them.
She stands up, does the formalities. And then the surgeon looked at me, then glanced back at the police. Yeah buddy I get it. I’m to behave.
“Maddox has suffered extreme injuries, we have done everything possible, however…” And the surgeon paused, and Ellie’s hand went for mine, she had a death grip on my hand. “The surgery last night, early this morning, was just the beginning of us trying to repair the damage. We will have many more ahead of us,”
“So he’s awake?” Ellie cut the surgeon off.
“No, sadly,” and the surgeon glanced at me, and I let go of Ellie’s hand, wrapping my arm around her back “He’ll be kept in a coma, as we continue the surgeries. However, when this is all over with, there is no guarantee that Maddox will breath on his own again.”
There it was the news they didn’t want to deliver. Gabriella stared at them, then nodded her head.
“We have counselling services for you, and this is just one of our leading specialists…”
Gabriella raised a hand. “I don’t talk about my problems to strangers.”
“Miss you can’t go through this alone.” The surgeon said.
“I won’t be,” And she squared her shoulders back, her eyes flickering to the police and then back to the surgeon. “I’ve got the club.”
The surgeon stared at her then nodded his head. “Well I’m ticking on the form that counselling was offered but refused.” And with that said, he extended a hand. “We’ll be working closely together to get you through this regardless of whether you have counselling. I’ll be Maddox’s treating surgeon. So, any questions, concerns, come straight to me.” He then smiled at her. “I’ll do everything in my power to get your fiancé through this Gabriella.”
And that wasn’t a reaction I was expecting nor was Ellie, cause it broke her. And when she pulled her hand from his, she turned, burying her head in my chest.
The surgeon looked at me, as if asking did I have this covered and I did. I gave him a head nod, and t
hey left, so did the police.
I ran my hand down her back. Don’t know how I was going to do it. But I was going to run the largest north chapter, be the national president—a role I took so I didn’t have to lead men, just deal with the presidents. And now, with Gabriella in my arms, crying. I had to be the man she needed, and fuck, I couldn’t be that man all those years ago—so how the hell was I going to do it now?
7
Gabriella
Two Months Later
“Gabriella I made this for you, you’ll damn well eat it.” Hudson growls at me from across the table, in the club kitchen. “Now.”
I looked him straight in the eyes, and pushed it away from me. “No.”
He sighed, and it didn’t matter what he said. The reality of my situation wasn’t going to change. Maddox wasn’t going to wake up. My life wouldn’t go back to normal. Things just weren’t… worth living for.
“Gabriella,” He said my name and I looked up into his eyes. “I’ll force it down ya fucking throat.” He doesn’t say it with a scary tone. But I know he means it, and he will get that toast and force it down my throat. I gritted my teeth and pulled the plate back. “Good girl, now what time are we going to the hospital?”
Tears swelled in my eyes, but I didn’t say what I was thinking. I didn’t say what decision I had come to last night.
“Gabriella?” he says my name for my attention and I looked at him. Hudson, is known for being irrational. Had no control over his temper. He didn’t have the heart to heart conversations and he didn’t care. That was no lie. And I believed all that. The Hudson in front of me, well it wasn’t the man I knew. This man, he cared if I ate or slept. This man, reminded me of the man I fell in love with all those years ago. But I wasn’t going to be fooled by him again.
Hudson was a player of hearts, and he killed my last heart.
His eyes are still on me and I realized I have to tell him, because he was just going to keep asking me all day.
“I’m not going.”
He frowned.
“To the hospital Hudson. I’m not going.” I swallowed sharply, trying to keep a tie over my heart which was pulsating nerves through my body. “He doesn’t know I’m there.” Tears swelled in my eyes. “He doesn’t … know …. That machines keep him here. That’s it.”
Hudson is a violent man, but he had never been violent with me. But I gasped when the water was thrown over my face.
“You woken up to yourself yet?” He yelled at me. “Maddox is still fucking breathing, because he has a reason to keep fighting. I’m telling you now Gabriella, you take that reason away, and he will die.” He then throws a tea towel at me. “Come find me, when you’ve woken up to yourself.”
I wipe the water off my face and can’t help but think Hudson is blinded by the myths of the road. That tell Bikers, as long as they have a reason, a purpose, a longing—that they will keep breathing. But the myths were just that. The reality was. Maddox was still here because of machines and I knew, he wouldn’t want that.
I knew as soon as his life support stopped, so did mine. Because him barely breathing was keeping my life on support.
All day, the tears hadn’t stopped. All fucking day. I cried. Then cried some more. Finally when I thought I couldn’t cry anymore, well—I kept crying. I couldn’t bring myself to go see Maddox. I couldn’t stop the feeling from suffocating me, that feeling being guilt.
I knew Hudson would be looking for me, when I hadn’t gone looking for him all day. So I hid in my father’s study, laying on the couch sobbing. As mature as that was.
“Gabriella,” There was a knock on the door and then it was swung open. “I’ve had enough of you crying in my study. Ya making the walls want to kill themselves.”
I sit up seeing my dad, only he moves slightly to the side, and Hudson is standing there. With a scowl on his face. “You hiding from me Gabriella?” He is looking directly at me, and I groan, while sniffing tears back.
“Leave me alone.” I gritted out, and just as I lay back down onto the pillows. I was ripped from them. And thrown over a muscular shoulder. I begin to pound on his back, telling him to let me go. But he doesn’t I just glared down at his feet, not stopping with punching him, as hard as I could—till he put me on my feet. The blood rushed to my head, and Hudson gripped my arm, stopping me from falling over. I then realised we are in the chapel.
“Pew. Now.” He shoved me down one, and no biker is religious and I know for a fact Hudson isn’t a man of god. So when he forced me down onto my knees, I want to slap him.
“You haven’t prayed a day in your life!” I glared at him. The reason that the church was built was more for funerals than anything else.
He stared in my eyes. “I prayed every fucking day after I left you, for the shit I did to be fixed.” He’s still staring at me, as my expression dropped. “For you to be happy again, and the man that made you happy, he needs you right now. So fucking close ya eyes and pray.”
“I don’t know how.”
“Just speak from the heart.”
I bite my bottom lip. This wasn’t going to help anything or anyone. “Out loud, silent what?” I can’t believe I was turning to Hudson for praying advice. But I was brought up by Chief, who only knew certain lines from the bible because he would say them at funerals.
“Whatever makes you feel comfortable darling.”
I sighed. Okay Ellie. Pray like Maddox’s life depended on it.
“I don’t know how to pray.” I say. “And I don’t really believe in you,”
“Way to kick it off Gabriella.” Hudson said and I knew he’d have a smirk on his face.
I clenched my eyes shut. “But if you are there, and you are having this plan to test me—please stop. I can’t take anymore.” My voice breaks. “When I was dying, Dad said he prayed to you, and you answered by giving me a new heart. I’m telling you now, there was no point in any of that. Of me surviving for you just to kill the man that gave me a reason to feel again.” My hands are shaking as I hold them together. “So I’m kneeling here, praying to you, not to take the man that gave me another shot at life.”
I inhaled sharply.
“We’re meant to get married. I want to see his expression when I tell him that he’ll be a father. I want him to feel our baby kick inside me. Then I want us to have those fights, you know the ones over who's going to cook dinner, telling him off for leaving his clothes on the floor.” My lips begins to tremor. Because the chances of any of this happening were slim “I want him to be as protective with our children as he is me. I want him there to scowled at the teachers. But most of all God, I need him to come back, to hold my heart together, because the man doesn’t just keep my heart beating, he keeps me together, and without him,” The tears begin to get to powerful and I begin to stutter. “I’m… losing the will… to wake up every morning… I’m losing the…” I inhaled through the tears, “the ability to keep going. And my thoughts are tainting the more time that passes, and if you take him, please fucking god, take me too—cause I don’t want to live without him.”
I inhaled sharply again and then opened my eyes, seeing Hudson staring at me, “Is that it?” I asked and wiped the tears from under my eyes.
“Amen.” Hudson says and he keeps his eyes locked with mine. I see regret, mixed with pain but mainly he looked how I felt. Broken. Lonely. No purpose. I swallowed sharply, as his thumb went to my cheek, wiping away a tear that I had missed. His thumb lingered for a second, then he stood up, putting a hand down for me and I slip my hand into his.
I didn’t say a word as we left the church. I didn’t know if a prayer would do anything, but I felt slightly better and for the first time in a long time, I had Hudson to thank for that.
We walked out of the church and I knew Hudson had things to do. But I kept my hand in his, when he went to pull his hand from mine, I squeezed on to his, and he looked back at me with this utter shocked expression.
“Hudson are you….” I stopped, and he
looked at me to keep going, “are you busy tonight?” Why was I holding my breath?
He slowly shakes his head and I knew for a fact that there was a club party going on tonight because one of the chapters from his charter, was riding in.
“You sure? No big deal if you are, I just…” and then I stopped again, and rocked back and forth on my heels.
He arched his eyebrows.
“Would you mind being with me tonight?” I asked it slowly, “Like hang out with me, I don’t want to be by myself.” Which could be whiplash to him, because all day I had wanted to be by myself. Now that fact I had been by myself all day, had rubbed off on me. He opened his mouth, and I quickly added. “I’m not interested in going to the club party, I’m not great with crowds.”
His lip twitched up. “I used to date you Ellie remember, I know you hate crowds unless you are glued to your man. I was going to offer, if you wanted, you can use me for the night. I’ll make sure no one touches you, or goes near you, if you don’t want them too.”
My eyebrows knitted together. “Won’t people judge me?”
“Since when did you care what people think?” he tilted his head slightly. “You and I both know what you just prayed for in there, ain’t one night on my lap going to change that.”
And he had a really good point. A conversation with the club life wasn’t sounding awful to me right now. I could talk to the men, catch up on their women drama. But I’d be on Hudson’s lap, not Maddox. I knew Maddox well enough to know he wouldn’t even be jealous over me sitting on Hudson’s lap all night, or glued to Hudson’s side. Hell he wasn’t even that mad when I kissed Hudson, he was however pissed off when I took his ring off.
So I nodded my head. “Okay,” and then I let of his hand. For him to grab my arm.
“But for my sake Gabriella, don’t wear something short.” He said, his words almost coming out with a coat of pain on them, like my bare legs on him, would physically hurt him.
