NOVAK

by Bergen, KC

“What on earth are you implying,” Professor Yates barked. “Sex for money?”

  “No, not for money. Maybe as a means to lower tuition costs or perhaps employ a credit system. What are sexual relations, anyway? I’m not saying that you have to go all the way or even be pretty and stuff. No, I believe there are multiple openings for the less attractive ones in the glory-hole division.”

  Professor Burton shook his head. “Back to porn again—unbelievable!”

  “I’m talking about college students now, not high school kids.” Tristan’s voice faltered. “I may be Russian but I’m no animal.”

  The murmur of the crowd erupted into boos and outraged cries. Flustered, Tristan saw that Michael was covering his face with his hands, Brian was laughing hard, and Mary was staring at him, tight-lipped.

  Professor Yates slammed her hand against the table. “Enough! What kind of monster are you!?”

  Novak rose. “Excuse me, may I have your attention?” Due to the noisy crowd, only the nearest people heard Novak’s voice. So he stepped up on his chair and unrolled the poster of Peter South in King Dong!

  “Look! That man is a porno monster!” Novak was getting people’s attention now, and he slowly turned to show the big movie poster to everyone in the outraged audience. “Look at this! He’s not a Russian, he’s a porn actor and a liar!”

  People started yelling profanities at the lying porn actor. Some tossed finger food at him. Carol threw a champagne glass at Peter South, but he ducked and the glass smashed against the wall behind him.

  “King Dong,” Ted mumbled. “I was way off.”

  ***

  Professor Yates called for security, and a burly officer dragged Peter off stage. Infuriated, Mary got up and marched toward the fake KGB officer. “Peter South?” She socked him in the eye. “You lying son of a bitch!”

  The audience applauded Mary’s efforts as the security officer escorted Peter out of the Sequoia Room. Michael ran to his mom and hugged her. Ted asked if he could have the movie poster, and Novak gave it to him. Then he watched Michael hug Mary. She spotted Novak in the aisle and beckoned him over.

  “Thank you,” she told him.

  “I’m just glad the truth finally came out.”

  “There’s more to the story,” Mary said.

  Michael looked down. “I have something to tell you too.”

  58

  Mary, Michael, and Novak sat around the dining table at her house. Michael had spilled the beans, and he took full responsibility for his part in the plan that his dad had cooked up.

  Novak was saddened to hear about the scheme, but he couldn’t blame the boy. “You’re only twelve, still a boy. It’s not your fault.”

  “It was your dad’s fault,” Mary said, “but you should have known better. Now go to bed. It’s been a long day and we can talk about this tomorrow.”

  After Michael had left, Mary told Novak about Tristan’s scheme and that she’d been a fool for believing him. “I should have trusted my instincts,” she said. “You are not a spy. You’re the only good guy in this story.”

  “Michael is not a bad guy either. And you’re also a good person.”

  “I just can’t believe I fell for Brian and that porn-Peter’s crap. I feel so stupid.”

  “You are beautiful when you’re stupid.”

  Mary touched Novak’s arm. “I’m so sorry, Novak.”

  “Hey, people make mistakes. Don’t sweat.”

  “Don’t sweat it.”

  “Yes, that’s what I meant. My English …” Novak was feeling unusually hot, which he attributed to Mary’s presence. And he also felt the urge to say something to Mary. He just didn’t know where to start.

  “I should probably go to bed,” Mary said. “It’s been a very long day.”

  Novak had to get this thing off his chest. Or maybe he should say, out of his pants. He took Mary’s hand in his. “Listen, I have something to give you. It’s in my pants.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Close your eyes.”

  “No, you need to provide more information. What thing is in your pants?”

  “Okay, I want to give you something. It’s wood.”

  “What?” Mary got up from the table. “Maybe it’s time for you to leave.”

  Novak decided to keep quiet and instead show her what he’d made. He took out a shiny wooden figurine from his pocket and placed it on the table.

  Mary stopped in her tracks. “Is that … me?”

  Novak nodded.

  The petite figurine was lying on its side, propped up on an elbow. Mary gently picked it up. She ran her fingers over the intricately carved surfaces: the long wavy hair, the eyes, even the lips looked like hers. And from the hips down, the figurine had a smooth, sloping tail. “A mermaid. It’s beautiful.”

  “Because you are beautiful.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” Novak rose. “My return flight is tomorrow morning. So consider this a”—he didn’t want to call the figurine a farewell or parting gift, as he didn’t want to leave—“token of appreciation.”

  “For what?”

  “For letting me stay here.” Novak lowered his eyes. “I know I am a simple man. But if I can’t be your man, can I at least be your friend?”

  Mary cradled Novak’s hand. “You are my friend. And you are a good man too.”

  “I am also a tired man. I mean, it’s been a rough week. But vacations aren’t always relaxing.”

  Mary laughed. “You’re right about that. I’m tired too. Hey, maybe we can go somewhere a little more relaxing? I’ve shown you my world. Maybe you can return the favor?”

  “You mean …”

  “Slovenia. Why not? I think we could all benefit from a change of scenery. Get away from all the craziness for a while.”

  Novak had not forgotten that he owed his grandfather money and had agreed to put in time and effort to pay him back. Thinking of Oleg, Novak worried that Mary might not find Slovenia all that sane and relaxing.

  59

  Novak and Mary were standing high up in the Kamnik-Savinja Alps, enjoying the magnificent view of the Slovenian scenery. Novak slipped his arm around Mary.

  “These past couple weeks have flown by,” she said.

  “I know.”

  “Your country is gorgeous.”

  “Glad you like it.”

  “And you’re the best tour guide.”

  “Maybe I can start herding people for a living instead?”

  Mary grinned. “Why not? They might pay you good money for it.”

  “You think I’m some kind of gigolo?” Novak asked playfully.

  “Hey, everyone’s got a price, right?”

  Chuckling, Novak planted a kiss on Mary’s cheek. “Not you, Mary. You’re priceless.”

  Novak peered over Mary’s head to check on Michael. He was about fifty yards away from them and participating in one of Oleg’s new classes. After researching gurus and lawsuits, the old man had realized that some of his behavior and practices were out of line. So he’d started admitting male students to his program, and he would stand on the sideline during exercises, instructing and observing rather than taking part in the action. Still, he’d kept the Inner Animal lessons, and class was in session.

  Judging from the way Michael was walking on all fours and barking merrily, Novak figured the boy was acting like a dog, probably a Shepherd breed. A few select students, both male and female, were also acting like various animals and appeared to be enjoying every moment of it.

  “So, what do you think about my grandfather’s classes?”

  “Well, I’m glad Michael is having a good time with Oleg.” Mary leaned her head against Novak’s shoulder. “He’s quite the character, but I’ve seen worse.”

  Novak suspected she was referring to her ex-husband. His mind went to his own ex-wife. He’d recently signed the divorce papers and things were in order. Still, he didn’t want to think about her or about how Franc had broken up their m
arriage. Instead he thought of the herd he’d lost. And Bigfoot. People were terrified of the freakishly large creature wreaking havoc in the region. It was scaring animals to death and prompting herders to give up their traditional way of life. Older shepherds were retiring, and many of the younger ones had already moved away, seeking a better life and greater opportunities in Slovenia’s modern cities. Novak understood how they felt. Grateful that he’d found a new meaning in the suffering, he ran his fingers through Mary’s hair.

  A herd of goats milled about.

  “Alpine goats,” Novak observed.

  “Hey, sweet thang!” a husky voice said.

  Novak and Mary turned to see Franc bop up the hill.

  “I haven’t seen you round here,” Franc told Mary, his English stilted. “You wanna piece of this?” Franc opened his fur cloak, showing off zebra-striped Speedos and an oiled-up six-pack. Grunting lecherously, he thrust his hips at Mary.

  Mary gasped. “How dare you!”

  Novak stepped forward. “I think I speak for my girlfriend and every shepherd in Slovenia when I say this …” He swung a fist of fury that connected with Franc’s chin, pummeling him backward. The Alpine goats followed their leader as he tumbled down the sloping mountainside, hollering and screaming.

  Mary touched Novak’s arm. “You didn’t have to—”

  “Trust me, I did.”

  Smiling tenderly, she stroked his forearm. “You called me your girlfriend.”

  “That I also did,” Novak said and slid his arms around Mary’s waist. He couldn’t resist her anymore, and her soft lips willingly kissed him back.

  The kiss was beautiful and Novak wanted it to never end, and for one precious moment time stood still. As he pulled back, he spotted a duffel bag in the grass, half open and lying on its side. “It must be Franc’s.” He grabbed the bag and was about to toss it at the tumbling herder when Mary stopped him.

  “Wait! What is that?” she said, pointing.

  Novak put the bag down. A piece of brown furry fabric was sticking out. He pulled at it. At first he thought Franc had brought with him a spare fur cloak, but it soon became apparent what the bag actually contained …

  “Is that a gorilla costume?” Mary asked.

  “Holy sheep,” Novak said, stunned. “No. It’s evidence. Of a fake Bigfoot.”

  Mary gave him an incredulous look.

  “I’ll tell you all about it,” he said, stepping in front of Mary to shield her from the last of the goats and sheep running past them. Then he saw that his grandfather and Michael were staring at him.

  “That was an awesome bitch slap!” Michael shouted. “Are you guys okay?”

  Novak gave him a thumbs-up.

  Oleg raised his middle finger, but Michael gently corrected the old man and Oleg gave Novak a thumbs-up instead. Happy to see his grandfather and Michael getting along, Novak pulled Mary closer and leaned his cheek against her temple. Standing high up under a clear blue sky, they admired the view as Franc tumbled down the mountainside, followed by his loyal herd.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  I have to thank my editor, Scott Alexander Jones, who did an outstanding developmental edit and then, after my revisions, followed up with a sharp and thorough proofreading.

  Many thanks to Jason and Marina at Polgarus Studio for the well-executed, hassle-free formatting of this book, and to Kari March for the stunning cover.

  Finally, many thanks to you, the reader, for giving Novak a chance. I hope you’ve enjoyed the book, and I’d love to hear from you and personally thank you for reading it. It might take me a couple of days to reply, but I always personally respond to my readers. And you are always welcome to write to me at kacey.bergen@gmail.com.

  Thanks again.