Jason

by Cheryl Wright

  Melanie’s room would be next to Lily’s, so she could hear her easily, and tend to her needs.

  As he walked them out of the hospital, Jason wasn’t sure what to expect. He still had time off work, as the sheriff had generously allowed him to spend time with his new family. Luckily he had plenty of leave available.

  He left Melanie sitting in the hospital waiting area while he got his truck. Rory had helped him fit the baby carrier to ensure it was done correctly.

  Lily was sleeping peacefully when he’d left them, but wondered if she would be disturbed when he strapped her in. He hoped not.

  Melanie was standing in the pick-up area when he arrived. “I told you to wait inside,” he said, slightly annoyed. He didn’t want Lily to get a chill.

  “It’s a beautiful day,” she said. “The fresh air will do Lily and me good.”

  He knew she was right. They’d been stuck inside for days. She passed the baby over and Jason strapped her in, careful to ensure he did it correctly and she was safe.

  He placed Melanie’s bag with both her clothes and the baby’s in the back.

  “All set,” he asked when she was finally settled in.

  She nodded, and they were on their way.

  It was about half an hour from the hospital to his house, and neither of them said a word. Lily slept the whole way. She had already proved to be a good baby, mostly only waking to be changed or fed.

  Jason hoped she stayed that way. Once he was back at work, he’d be back on shifts, and often needed to sleep through the day.

  She began to cry as they turned into his driveway.

  Melanie looked at her watch. “It’s a little early for her feed, so she’s probably wet.”

  “Smells like a messy diaper to me,” he said, winding down his window to let in some fresh air.” He wasn’t sure he’d get used to this but was grateful for his beautiful daughter.

  Melanie sniffed the air. “You could be right,” she said, then sighed.

  Jason jumped out as soon as they pulled up and unlocked the cabin door.

  “You’re in the spare room, and I’ve put Lily in the other room,” he said when he got back outside. “I moved the single bed out of there to make more room.”

  Melanie frowned at him. “You know this is only temporary, right?”

  “Yeah, sure,” he said, hoping that somehow it could become permanent. He took the bag from the vehicle and followed Melanie inside.

  “Oh my goodness, Jason,” she said, almost in tears when she saw everything he’d bought. “You didn’t have to...”

  He interrupted. “Yes, I did. She’s my daughter, and she needed stuff.” He knew he sounded gruff, but he didn’t need her second-guessing him. Lily was his baby, and that’s all there was to it.

  He took the bag into the spare room for Melanie. “When you’re up to it, we’ll go to town and get clothes for you.”

  Melanie protested, but he was having none of it. “You need supplies, and that’s all there is about it.” Why did she have to fight him all the time?

  “Thank you,” she mouthed, then turned to change Lily’s dirty bottom.

  ~~~

  Jason stumbled out of bed the next morning.

  Having a baby in the house was not conducive to good sleep. But this was his daughter he was talking about.

  The more he thought about it, the more he realized he had the easy end of the bargain. Melanie would have been awake a lot of the night. At least he got to sleep through.

  He moved toward the kitchen to put the jug on. He needed coffee!

  As if right on cue, Lily began to cry. And cry. And cry.

  Where was Melanie?

  He crept down the passageway to find she was sound asleep. He stood in the doorway and watched her sleeping. He really missed doing that.

  They were together close to a year, and to Jason’s mind, they were close. Close enough that he was going to ask her to marry him.

  And then she disappeared without warning.

  He shook his head trying to shake away the memories. The hurt feelings came tumbling back like an avalanche down a hillside.

  And his heart ached.

  Lily was still crying, and Melanie was still sleeping, so he went to Lily’s room and picked the baby up. She stopped crying almost immediately.

  She was wet through. He fumbled for a moment or two, not sure what to do next, then remembered what he’d been taught at the hospital – get all the clothes, diapers etc out before removing the baby from the basinet.

  He put her back and the crying started up again. He sighed.

  At least he knew where everything was, since he’d put them there.

  After getting everything organized, he lifted Lily out again and lay her on the changing mat. Even her blanket was wet.

  Jason began to peel off her tiny clothes and looked his baby over. He gently touched her soft cheek with his finger. Her little hands went up to her face, and her tiny fingers grabbed hold of his and his heart fluttered.

  He made this little girl.

  Staring down into her tiny face, he again saw himself in her eyes. They were cobalt blue and almond shaped like his.

  Checking her over further, he discovered the baby was drenched, almost from head to toe. At that point he decided to put her back into the basinet again and bath her.

  That could be quite an experience. Especially since it would be his first time alone.

  Jason was rather taken aback with the task ahead of him, but he had no intentions of waking Melanie. She needed the sleep.

  He made sure the water was only tepid, testing it with his elbow as he’d been shown by the midwife.

  Once again, he lifted the baby out of the basinet and placed her on the changing mat. This time he completely undressed her and gently placed her in the baby bath.

  She lay back against his arm, her little legs splashing in the water. He used the washer to clean her, then let her play for a few minutes. She was content there, and he didn’t want to break the spell.

  He stared down at her, and still found it hard to believe he was a dad. A father. This baby’s father.

  It was going to take a while to let it all sink in.

  He pulled her out as the water was beginning to cool down and placed her on a towel. He wrapped her up and gently dried her tiny body, adding a diaper as soon as he could. He didn’t want another mess to clean up.

  He smiled to himself. Would he really care? It was a moot question because he knew he wouldn’t.

  Lily was quickly dressed, and he wrapped her in a clean blanket as best he could, then placed her on his shoulder and patted her back.

  He hoped to give her mother a little more sleeping time.

  “Good morning.” The words startled him.

  He turned to see Melanie in her robe, sleep tousled hair. It brought back so many memories – of the good times they’d spent together.

  He’d loved this woman so much. Why the hell didn’t he tell her?

  He swallowed down his regrets and focused on the baby again. “Good morning,” he said. “She’s probably hungry,” he added as he gazed into Lily’s face.

  Melanie looked around the room. “You’ve been busy.” She put out her arms for their little bundle, and Jason reluctantly handed her over. He knew it had to happen. She needed to be fed.

  But he felt bereft without her in his arms.

  What would he do when Melanie left again?

  ~~~

  He made coffee while Melanie fed the baby.

  He’d had no idea having a baby in the house would change his life entirely. They’d never discussed having children. He wasn’t sure it was something Melanie wanted.

  Hell, he hadn’t discussed anything with her. Anything that mattered, anyway.

  His biggest regret was not telling her how he felt. What a fool he was. If he’d done that, things would be different.

  Wouldn’t they?

  Instead of treating each other like strangers, they’d be rejoicing the
birth of their baby. Instead of hedging around each other, they’d be embracing.

  Instead of taking turns looking after the baby, they’d be working together.

  He was such a fool. Things could have been so different between them.

  As he poured coffee for Melanie, he pondered Rory’s words. He’d asked if Jason wanted a family. If he wanted to see Lily everyday. If he wanted to see her grow up.

  He did. Of course he did. But would Melanie let him? That was the million-dollar question.

  He wondered if it was as simple as Rory made out. He was not married to Melanie.

  They were not madly in love. Although there was a time he felt that way. Maybe he still did? He was still in a state of confusion, and honestly didn’t know what he thought right now.

  All was not right in his world. In fact it was downright terrible.

  He stared down into the coffee mug. He’d been stirring Melanie’s coffee for the past two minutes at least. His thoughts were getting away with him, and he was unable to function properly.

  He carried the hot beverage into the loungeroom where Melanie was feeding Lily. “She seems a bit happier now,” he ventured, placing the mug on the side table.

  Melanie nodded, then started to put the baby to her shoulder. “I can do that if you like,” he said, wanting to hold the baby again.

  “Sure, why not?” she said. “Besides, I really need coffee.”

  He walked about the house as he patted Lily’s back gently. She was such a sweet little thing, and he was surely going to miss her when her mother left.

  He swallowed down his distress. He didn’t want to lose either of them, but he wasn’t sure he could forgive Melanie for up and leaving him like that.

  It wasn’t as though there was a problem. They were getting on like a house on fire. If she’d stayed, they may have been married by now.

  If she hadn’t gotten pregnant.... Well that was another thing altogether. He wouldn’t give up his beautiful baby for anything or anyone.

  He contemplated his life without Lily. He felt hollow. As though his heart had been ripped right out of his body.

  He couldn’t imagine his life without either of them, but he wasn’t sure he could forgive Melanie for what she did.

  Leaving like that had destroyed him. It had affected his work too. He was so distraught about the loss of someone he’d thought of as his soulmate and couldn’t concentrate.

  The sheriff had put him on desk duty for a while until he sorted himself out.

  It helped, but it didn’t heal his broken heart. He’d never really gotten over it.

  Out of the blue, Lily began to cry. Jason rubbed her back, but it didn’t work. He patted her back, same thing. He took her out into the fresh air, but she continued to cry.

  It broke his heart. This tiny little creature had stolen his heart and he never wanted to lose her.

  He made a pact with himself there and then.

  Somehow, he had to win Melanie back.

  He still loved her, despite being angry with her. He had to find a way to move forward and become a normal loving family.

  ~~~

  As much as she loved Lily, Melanie felt as though she was suffocating. She’d been home from hospital for nearly a week and hadn’t left the house at all.

  Sure, she’d sat outside in the fresh air while the baby slept, even snoozed out there. But she was stuck there at Jason’s house. She had no mode of transport of her own and didn’t want to ask Jason to take her anywhere.

  Besides, he was still mad at her for leaving.

  She thought she was doing the right thing. He’d said several times he was a confirmed bachelor. Looking back though, he’d not said it to her. He’d said it to Aunt Lizzie – who was always trying to marry him off.

  She’d even tried to hook him up with Melanie. They’d be going out for some time, so probably thought it was a natural progression.

  What had she done? Had she ruined any chance of happiness they might have had?

  Melanie stifled a sob as she looked down at her sleeping beauty.

  “Melanie,” Jason whispered, coming up behind her. “Would you like to go to town? We haven’t shopped for you yet.” His arms went up around her, but just as quickly dropped down again.

  Her heart skipped a beat. Until now, he’d made no effort to get close to her. He’d barely acknowledged her presence some days.

  He might as well have been back at work, but the sheriff insisted he have the time off.

  She longed to turn back the clock. Wished she’d never left. She should have talked to him – given him the choice.

  Her eyes filled with tears and Melanie ran out of the room. She didn’t want Jason to see her distress.

  This was all her fault.

  Totally.

  Without a doubt.

  She ran into her room and closed the door behind her, then lay on the bed and cried. Not that it would solve her problem, but it would make her feel better.

  For now.

  “Melanie?” He tapped on the door. “Are you okay?” He tapped again.

  “No. Yes,” she said quietly, not sure of the answer herself. “I’m getting ready to go out,” she said louder. She could lie to herself as much as she liked. It wouldn’t change the facts.

  She’d ruined her only chance of happiness and may never be able to repair it.

  Melanie quickly showered and put on one of her maternity outfits. It was all she had.

  She looked at herself in the full-length mirror. She looked horrible. Her hair was a straggly mess, her face was pasty, and her clothes hung off her life a broken mannequin.

  She stood with her back against the bedroom door. She didn’t want to come out. Didn’t want Jason to see her like that.

  Had she looked this awful all along? No wonder he wanted to buy new clothes for her. She was a frump.

  She couldn’t do anything about the maternity clothes which practically fell off her, but she could tie her hair back, and she could put on a bit of makeup.

  She gingerly went back to the mirror – she looked better than before. Not perfect, far from it, but better. She braced herself and opened the bedroom door with conviction.

  “You look great,” Jason said with a smile.

  Melanie closed her eyes against the lie. “No I don’t,” she said as she opened them again. “I look awful. I’m a frump; I feel ugly.” She leaned against the wall and look a deep breath.

  Her voice was a whisper when she spoke again. “I can’t go out looking like this.” Her hands waved in the air, indicating what she was wearing. What her hair was like. What she felt like.

  Jason stood staring at her. What did he see?

  He opened his mouth to speak, but instead pulled her into his arms. “You are not a frump,” he whispered into her ear. “You are the beautiful soul who gave birth to my daughter.”

  Her heart skipped a beat. Did he really mean it, or was he just humoring her?

  Suddenly he pulled away and she felt bereft. “When is Lily due for a feed,” he asked. “We’ll leave straight after that.”

  Melanie checked her watch. “Very soon,” she said, and headed to the baby’s room. Lily lay in her basinet, her eyes open. Any minute now she’d start crying. Her mother lifted the little bundle and lay her on the change mat, chatting away to the baby as she was changed into a clean diaper.

  When she turned around, Jason was standing in the doorway watching her. “What?” she asked, but he just shrugged, a grin on his face.

  She pushed her way past, and the contact with his warm body made her think back to a time when they were on better terms.

  She continued to the loungeroom and fed Lily.

  ~~~

  Not a word was said on the way into town, although she’d caught Jason stealing glances at her.

  He stopped outside the beauty salon, shoved several notes into Melanie’s hand and told her to have her hair fixed. “The full treatment,” he said.

  She looked down into h
er hand. He’d given her way over a hundred dollars. She sat there shaking her head. “I, I can’t,” she said. “This is too much.”

  He watched as the heat rose from her neck, all the way up her face. He was afraid she wasn’t going to accept his gift. She’d given him the greatest gift of all, and he wanted to give her something in return.

  He climbed out of the driver’s seat, took Lily from her carrier and placed her in the buggy, then escorted Melanie into the salon.

  A young woman stood at the front counter. “Can I help you?”

  Melanie was still shaking her head. “She needs everything,” Jason said. “Melanie has just had a baby and says she feels like a frump. She’s not; she’s gorgeous, she truly is, but she needs to feel that way.” He watched as the woman’s eyes opened wide, then her mouth formed a huge grin.

  “That’s so wonderful,” she said. “So, cut, color...?”

  “Whatever is needed,” he interrupted. “Whatever it takes to make her feel beautiful again.”

  He watched as the heat crept up Melanie’s face again. He wished she didn’t feel so poorly about herself.

  “Ooooh, I wish you were my husband,” the beauty salon woman said, as she continued to grin.

  But Jason didn’t want her. He wanted Melanie. He wanted to win her back. To make her feel whole again.

  “How long?” he asked, heading for the door with Lily.

  “Two hours. Could be longer,” he was told. He nodded and left.

  ~~~

  Melanie surveyed herself in the mirror.

  Tears threatened to well in her eyes. She looked beautiful. Truly beautiful.

  With her permission, they’d cut her shoulder-length hair to just below her ears and shaped her hair. Rather than an all-over color, they decided on foils. Her brown hair was now tempered with red and blonde streaks, making it look amazing.

  They’d given her a neck massage, and also applied light make-up.

  She couldn’t wait for Jason to come back to see the new Melanie. The one that didn’t look like an outcast anymore.

  She looked down at her clothes. The smile left her face.

  A short time later the door to the salon opened, and Jason entered with Lily in her buggy. His head shot up when he saw her, then he rushed to her side.

  “Wow,” he said. “That’s an amazing transformation.” He smiled at the beauty therapist. “You did a wonderful job. Thank you so much.”