Forbidden Shifters Complete Series (Books 1-6): A Wolf Shifter Paranormal Romance
Page 62
It made something new skim across the surface of her consciousness like a rock that was just going to keep on skipping and skipping. “Not true,” she argued, knowing he thought she was about to say that he wasn’t that old. “Some of those guys were just as old as you are.”
He laughed, low and rich. There was always a note of surprise in Jackson’s laughter, as if he never truly expected himself to laugh again, and then when he did, it shocked the shit out of him. “Is that true? Were you really talking to guys my age on those apps?”
She shrugged. “Sometimes. If they were cute. And nice to me.”
He fell quiet on the other end of the line and she realized that they’d finally hit on a topic that he wasn’t quite ready to joke about. The topic of how un-nice he’d been to her over the years. She could feel the regret rolling in on him like an old cabin tumbling on an avalanche of snow. And she knew Jackson well enough to know that on the heels of regret always came self-hatred.
No, no, no. Wrong way.
She plunged on, hoping to distract him. “The age thing has never bothered me, Hef.”
He barked another surprised laugh and she felt the tension of the previous moment dissolve. “Did you just refer to me as Hugh Hefner?”
“If the shoe fits.”
He groaned, but it was good-natured. “I know I’m too old for you, Kaya. But if you’re saying it doesn’t bother you, I’m just gonna go ahead and choose to believe you.”
The same feeling skipped like a rock. He made her stomach swoop all the time, sure, but this was different. Putting Jackson in the ‘undateable’ category a year ago had not been symbolic or a way to convince herself she didn’t want him. She’d legitimately felt as if she’d seen his true colors and they clashed with hers. But right now, this moment on the phone, she’d expected him to glower and sulk and act as if he understood the situation better than she did. She’d expected him to insist that he really was too old and she was too young to understand just how old he was. But he hadn’t done that. He’d trusted her judgment. He’d believed her. And now that rock skipping feeling was happening again and Kaya barely knew what to make of it.
“So, why can’t I come over tonight?”
Because there’s a rock skipping in my heart and I need to hide under my blankets while I figure it out. Because you’re showing a new, sweet side of yourself to me and it makes unwanted hummingbirds migrate around my stomach. Because I’m not ready for a man like you in my life. “Busy.”
“Busy with what?”
“Doing my taxes.”
“It's the day after Christmas.”
She grunted. “Fine. I’m eating ice cream and watching Jeopardy re-runs. That doesn’t make me not busy.”
He laughed, but this time it was softer, more understanding. “So, I really am a little too much. I get it. I can play it cool for a while.” He paused. “I still want my kiss, though.”
“I’m sure you do,” she replied drily. “Fine, I’ll kiss you when I see you next. We’re not going to start making kiss-dates.”
“Are you working tomorrow?” he asked immediately.
“Yeah.”
“You want to eat lunch with me?”
She shoved the ice cream back into the freezer. The silence stretched on.
“Shit,” he realized. “That’s a bit of a sore spot, isn’t it?”
A year ago, in an attempt to get to know him better, Kaya had asked Jackson to eat lunch with her sometime, considering that both of their offices were in the same complex. He’d thoroughly and resolutely rejected her offer and her as a person. He’d belittled her totally and completely. It had been the moment that had immediately killed her crush on him, and honestly, it was one that still hurt.
“A little,” she answered honestly. “Jackson… this is all still totally surreal to me. The whole ‘you wanted me too much to be nice to me’ thing is a lot to swallow. Honestly, I still don’t really buy it—”
“Wait, wait, wait. I can feel you talking yourself out of liking me. Don’t do that. Look, you’re a hundred percent right that I have always been a dick to you and to myself. I’m working on both. With no pressure and no expectations over here. No lunch, then. Lunch is bad. Terrible. Who needs lunch? I’ll just come see you at your office whenever you get a break. I just wanna know that I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She frowned.
“Or… or not, Kaya.” He cleared his throat. “Look, I’m just so freaking excited about this thing with you. Like, embarrassingly excited. I know I’m pushing things too far, too fast. Honestly, I’ve never done anything like this before. I’m not really a talk-on-the-phone kind of guy. I’m not really a can-I-see-you-for-lunch kind of guy. I know I’m making mistakes here. But they’re because I’m off-kilter. You’ve got me all… happy. And it’s really throwing off my natural rhythm. So, yeah. If you don’t want to meet with me tomorrow, or if you need time where I just leave you the heck alone… just tell me. Because I really, really want to be good for you.”
This time she was the one groaning. She gently knocked her head against the closed freezer door. “Jackson, you dick. Can’t you just continue being a closed-off jerk and just let me keep you in one box in my mind?”
“It’s not my fault you’re making me grow.”
She groaned again. “Let me think about it. Maybe I’ll see you tomorrow and maybe I won’t.”
“Fair enough.”
“Good night, Jackson.”
“Good night, Kaya.”
CHAPTER NINE
Kaya saw three clients that morning at her health and wellness clinic. Two of them were regulars and one of them was new. One of her regulars, Charles, had lost part of his leg due to diabetes and came to their clinic for PT and nutrition and diet counseling. Kaya loved all the time she got to spend with Charles. Not only was he funny and kind, he was also determined to get better. Keeping his weight under control so that he wouldn’t aggravate his prosthesis was paramount. Kaya was proud of him for all the work he’d done.
Her second regular, Reuben, she always dreaded seeing just a little bit. He saw her of his own accord, paying out of pocket, because he was convinced he had some undiagnosed food allergy that Kaya was equally convinced he didn’t have. They’d spent countless hours refining his diet plan and testing him for allergies. That part she didn’t mind, but the guy was a real downer. Everything was terrible, according to him. There was no hope and nothing mattered. She was just as kind to him as she was to all of her clients, but she had to admit, she was always relieved when Reuben’s hour was up.
She also saw a new client, Katharine. Katharine was seeing Kaya for fertility issues. Kaya liked her right away, but these kinds of cases could be really tricky. Sometimes people got in their heads that if they changed their diet perfectly, or got acupuncture at the right moment, or took certain supplements, conceiving would be easy. More often than not, that wasn’t the case. But diet was a good place to start and both women were buoyed by the appointment.
She’d started her day a hundred percent certain that she was absolutely not going to see Jackson that day. She figured she’d call him after work to let him know that she wanted some time. A bit of a break from whatever this was that had popped up over the last few days.
But come her lunch break, she was pulling her coat on over her scrubs, putting her head down, and jogging through the snow flurries in their parking lot, straight into his vet’s office.
“Hi there!” a very perky male receptionist said as she came in through the door. “Picking up? Or did you forget to bring your pet? You’d be surprised at how often that happens. People drive all the way across town to come to the vet and realize that they forgot their cat at home.”
“Oh.” Kaya laughed at that idea. “No. Actually, I’m a friend of Jackson’s and I was hoping to see him.”
The receptionist’s eyes widened almost comically. “Jackson has friends? Well, you could knock me over with a feather.” His eyes skated down Kaya in a strictly app
raising sort of way. “You’re cute, too. Nurse?”
She looked down at her scrubs, a little bemused by the man’s intensity. “Nutritionist. At the clinic on the other side of the parking lot.”
“Nutritionist? Like a dietician? Girl, I might come see you come swimsuit season. The holidays just wrecked me.”
From what she could tell, the man had barely a pound to spare on his lean frame. “That’s not really what I… You know what? Sure. Come over and see me.”
She doubted he’d come anyways and it was easier than explaining that her job wasn’t to make skinny people skinnier.
“I think Jackson is just finishing up with a client, but you could wait for him in his office if you want to go on back. On the right.” He pointed down the hall.
Kaya considered waiting in the waiting room, but the allure of being able to study Jackson’s office without him there was too tempting.
“Thanks.”
She headed back toward where the receptionist had pointed but ended up passing by Jackson’s office. She was drawn toward the sound of his voice.
“No. No, we don’t necessarily recommend that shot because that’s more of a big city concern. People in New York or LA get that inoculation. But here we’re mostly concerned that he gets his rabies shot, tick and flea, heartworm medication, and Bordetella.”
“Who’d have thought a twenty-pound bag of bones was gonna bankrupt me?”
Jackson laughed. “Puppies can be expensive. But mostly at the beginning, when you’re getting everything squared away. But we have payment plans here, Gabriel can set you up for it. Also, I think Arlo might be a candidate for our scholarship program.”
“What’s that?”
Kaya couldn’t help but peek around the open door of the exam room. Her heart nearly squeezed itself to death when she saw Jackson in a white lab coat, sitting on a rolling chair with a floppy brown mutt puppy in his arms. The dog had ridiculously long eyelashes and was obviously pleased as punch to be in Jackson’s arms. His eyes were opening and closing slowly as if he were caught between a dream and reality. As Kaya watched, the dog relaxed so much that Jackson had to adjust his grip to keep the puppy from oozing down onto the floor.
“We have a program here that offsets any vet expenses you might accrue as long as you train, register, and attend companion animal hours at the children’s hospital. It takes a lot of work to train him, and he’ll have to pass a test. But it’s more about a dog’s personality than it is about his skills. After that, you’d be obligated to bring him twice a month to visiting hours at the children’s hospital to let him spend time with kids.”
Well, Kaya was dead. That was the all-time sweetest thing she’d ever heard in her entire life. And the fact that Jackson was explaining it while holding a puddle of a puppy in his arms was enough to make her ovaries take flight and float her clear over the mountains.
“Oh, that’s interesting,” the puppy’s owner said. “Actually, I’d be really down to do that.”
“Cool. Gabriel can fill you in on the particulars of the program when he checks you out at the end of the appointment. Now, before you go, I’d like to talk to you about the puppy’s food.”
Kaya slipped backward toward Jackson’s office, not wanting to intrude any longer. She walked straight to the chair behind his desk and sat down. She’d fully intended to snoop around, but she found that her mind was spinning so fast from watching him be so sweet with that puppy that she just had to sit and get her bearings for a while.
About ten minutes later, Jackson came into his office, his eyes clouded with thought as he dried his hands on a paper towel and tossed it into the trash. He kicked the door closed and, without noticing Kaya, crossed to the bookshelf on the far wall. He was still lost in thought as he pulled a large reference volume off the shelf and flipped it open, moving over to where the light was better by the window.
His brow furrowed as he read. Kaya, quiet as a mouse, just looked her fill. God, he was almost painfully good-looking. Not in a classic, movie star way. He was a bit too lanky for that, his hair was a little too wavy, his eyes too deep-set and dark, his brow too prominent. But there was something about him that just called to her. Looking at him felt right. He felt right. This whole mess of a situation felt right. Which, to her, kind of felt wrong.
She hadn’t asked for this. And she wouldn’t have asked for it if given a choice. But the snowstorm had taken that choice away for both of them. And now she feared she might be screwed. He’d kissed her senseless, cuddled a puppy on his lap, and now she was good and truly screwed.
He glanced up, clearly ruminating on something he’d just read, and finally caught a glimpse of her sitting in his chair behind his desk.
“Oh!” His face instantly morphed into raw happiness at the sight of her. He clapped the book closed and crossed over to her. “I didn’t realize you were here. I wasn’t expecting you.”
He came around the desk and leaned against the edge of it as he smoothed her hair back, chasing some of the loose pieces and twisting them back into her messy bun.
“I wasn’t expecting to come visit you,” she answered honestly, sure that her expression showed just how confused she was by this whole situation.
His eyes warmed with affection for her. “I’m assuming all this has you just as off-kilter as it has me?”
She frowned. “It didn’t, until I came in here and saw you cuddling a puppy and being so sweet to the puppy’s owner. You’re supposed to be surly and difficult, Jackson. Not sweet and lovable.”
He laughed. “Sorry, I’ll work on that.”
“That scholarship thing was your idea, wasn’t it?” She wasn’t sure how she knew that to be true. She just knew.
He shifted, a little uncomfortable at the attention. “Um. Yeah. One of our clients here does it anyways and invited me to come watch a couple years ago. It blew me away how much the kids responded to it. The dogs obviously loved all the attention and the duty and importance of it. But when I talked to one of the hospital administrators, she said that barely anyone brings their dog because the certification process is actually a little rigorous. I got to thinking about what would incentivize people to do it.”
“So you figured that your clinic could start covering all vet costs in exchange for the commitment to certify their animals and make a bunch of kids’ days.”
He shrugged, obviously very sheepish now and something else made sense to her.
She slowly rose from the chair. “Oh my god. The clinic doesn’t cover the costs, do they?”
His eyes dropped.
She reached forward, leaning into him and putting one finger under his chin so that he had to look at her. “Jackson, are you funding this from your own pocket and calling it a ‘scholarship fund?’”
His eyes dropped again, giving her the answer, and she didn’t wait, didn’t hesitate, she simply flung herself forward and pretty much climbed right up his body. Even leaning backward he was still way taller than she was so she had to boost one of her knees up on the desk and then just plaster the rest of her weight against him. She twisted her hands through his hair, her arms around his neck. But her mouth sipped sweetly from his mouth. Gently, almost gratefully.
His hands fisted in the back of the puffy winter coat she still wore. He’d made a sound of surprise when she’d first jumped on him, but now his noises were down to a sort of low, appreciative grumble in his chest.
She was the one who deepened the kiss this time. She felt sweeping waves of want and desire for this man overtake her. But there was something else there, too. For the first time since they’d started this arrangement, Kaya felt like she might be in danger of drowning in affection for Jackson.
The revelation had her pulling back from the kiss, breathing hard, her eyes just a couple of inches from his. He looked turned on as hell, mussed up, blurry and bright. His arms were all the way around her now, holding her tight like she was a magical creature who might disappear if he let up even an ounce of pressure
.
They didn’t kiss again. They just stared at one another. She wasn’t sure if he could sense that something was shifting on her side of things, but he was sure looking at her like he knew it.
She had to say something. She knew she did.
The door to his office swung open. “Jackson, I—whoa, my GAWD.”
The receptionist stood in the doorway, his mouth open almost as widely as the door was. It sent a curl of pleased, proprietary happiness through Kaya that a woman wrapped around his boss was obviously something the receptionist had never seen before.
“Did you need something, Gabriel?” Jackson asked in a gruff voice after enduring a full ten seconds of gaping from his employee. Kaya wiggled but Jackson just held her tighter, obviously unwilling to let her get away.
“I—uh—yeah. Yes. Wow. Officer Woodrow is here with a new pet. He doesn’t have an appointment but—”
“I’ll see him. Can you bring him back to room B and tell him I’ll be with him in a few minutes?”
“Sure.”
“You can go now, Gabriel.”
“Okay.”
But Gabriel’s eyes took their sweet time sweeping over the sight of Kaya in Jackson’s arms. It took about nine minutes for him to close the door.
“Sorry. He’s a little bit of a character. If I’d known you were coming, I would have told you that I could meet you at your clinic instead.”
“I liked meeting him.” She looked around. “I like seeing your life over here.” She let her eyes roam around his office and started to slide down from him, but Jackson’s hand went to her knee that was still propped on the desk and held her there, pinned against him.
She let him hold her as she peered around at his office. The office was tidy, but a little overstuffed, with all the reference books on the shelves, models of animal skeletons, medicine samples in a locked cabinet, a desk full of vaguely organized papers. And on one wall there was a bulletin board stuffed full with what looked to be holiday cards.