Bittersweet

by Jacquie Underdown

  Lightness was spreading over Tom’s body, but he didn’t want to get ahead of himself.

  ‘So, what’s the end result?’ asked Amy, words quick. She was wringing her hands together in her lap.

  ‘It doesn’t end there. The first statement prepared didn’t take into account a tax credit you were able to claim on the purchase of the restaurant building, which amounted to quite a lot. However, the tax you collected on the sale wiped out much of it.

  ‘But because you sold at a loss, it didn’t wipe it all out. Anyway, long story shortened, you are now due a small refund of—’ He pulled a note out of his pocket and read it, ‘one hundred and twenty-eight dollars.’

  ‘A refund?’ Amy asked, voice high-pitched.

  Mitch smiled as he nodded. ‘Yep.’

  A long, angst-filled sigh streamed from Amy. ‘Oh my, oh God, what a relief.’

  Tom leaned over and kissed her cheek, loving the look of respite on her face.

  ‘Thank you so much. I’ll have to make your accountant something special—a big chocolate cake as a thank you.’

  ‘I reckon he’d like that chocolate meringue pie.’

  Amy smiled wide as she flopped back against the couch, her hand resting over her heart. ‘I feel like a billion bricks have been lifted off my shoulders. I can now take a breath. My head is above the water.’

  ‘I’m just glad he was able to help,’ Mitch said.

  ‘Me too,’ Tom said.

  ‘Thank you for suggesting it,’ Amy said breathlessly. ‘You can’t even understand how much this helps.’

  ‘Does that mean you can stay?’ Tom asked.

  The smile fell from her face as her gaze flittered to Mitch.

  Mitch shifted in his chair. He cleared his throat. ‘I’d love for you to stay and take care of the shop.’

  Amy drew in a deep breath, and as she blew it out, she shook her head. ‘I don’t think it’s practical for me to stay. Nor responsible.’

  Mitch nodded, and Tom’s stomach dropped.

  ‘You’ve had a rough couple of days. Take some time to think about it,’ Mitch said.

  ‘Yeah,’ agreed Tom. ‘Take your time.’

  Chapter 32

  Amy was grateful to Tom; he was doing everything he could to give her space. After the most amazing news that her tax debt was actually a refund, he didn’t hang around and pester her for a decision. He went to fix her car, while Sam stayed at Mitch’s, giving her room to think.

  But in all honesty, Amy was going stir-crazy sitting around. It increased that trapped sensation that worked its way up and down her body. She was still more confused than ever. Even though her toe hurt like crazy, she needed to bake.

  It amazed her each time she recalled that when she’d first arrived in Alpine Ridge, she couldn’t even pick up a spatula, let alone cook. And now, she had to bake like she needed air.

  Hobbling on one foot, Amy went through the cupboards and fridge for ingredients. She had the right ingredients to make a salted caramel peanut butter tart. As she started to measure flour onto the bench, she smiled. Rachel had been right; she said Sugar Cakes would be good for her. And it had.

  The shop had been the place she was able to deal with the roughest periods of her grief, regain her confidence, and re-ignite her passion for cooking. And Rachel was also right about Tom. Amy didn’t know how she would have come through the last few months without him.

  Tom had been the best thing to happen to her and, against the undercurrent of heartache and loss of late, it seemed like a miracle.

  Amy kneaded the pastry and left it to the side for a while as she started on preparing the caramel, adding a little sea salt and crunchy peanut butter right at the end.

  To the depths of her soul, she loved Tom. And she loved Alpine Ridge. If someone had have asked her ten years ago, even two years ago, if she could be just as happy working in a small-scale cupcake shop in a small town as she was rubbing shoulders with the best of them in Vienna, she would have laughed in their face.

  But during her time here, she had learned the true essence of her passion. Love. Cooking with love. Cooking for loved ones. The intimacy that could be had from being on the front lines, serving her customers face to face, and seeing their pleasure from eating her food.

  She had been trying to justify her choice to be a chef to her parents by showing them that she could be a star in the profession. To her, that was the only choice she had.

  But her eyes had been opened to another alternative. One just as rewarding, if not more so. And now, especially after her conversation with her father yesterday, she realised she had been striving towards a goal that wasn’t even her own. It had been a way to appease her parents for going against their wishes.

  Amy rolled the dough out into a pan-sized circle. Using the back of her rolling pin, she lifted it over the tart pan, then pinched it into the sides. She poked it with a fork, stuck some rice on a circle of foil and placed it on the pastry, then shoved the tart shell in the oven to blind bake.

  With the threat of the Taxation Office off her back, Amy could think clearly again. She would love to stay in Alpine Ridge. From so much loss, she realised now that she had gained so much. Everything she loved was here in this town. She had started to make a life here. And she had proven that this life could bring her much joy.

  To make the decision, she would have to be brave enough to stand up to her parents once and for all and tell them that this was her life, and that she would live it in any way she saw fit. She would have to show them that by being here, she wasn’t being irresponsible nor settling for less. In fact, she was settling for more—more life, more time, more love, and more passion for her craft.

  She was ready to do that now. Now that she had felt how painful the alternative would be.

  But she wasn’t sure Sugar Cakes was the right place to continue working. Sugar Cakes was Rachel’s shop. Rachel’s dream. Sure, Amy loved it, but keeping that place operating as it had been was incongruous to her own hopes and dreams.

  If she stayed at the shop, she would have to change it so that it reflected herself and her vision.

  Amy melted chocolate in a metal container over a pot of steaming water. Her toe was aching, but everything else felt right. She slid a mitten on and pulled the tart crust out of the oven. It smelled like buttery, sugary goodness and had a beautiful golden colour.

  She poured the peanut butter caramel all over it, followed by the cooling chocolate, then left it in the fridge to set.

  As she was making a sweet vanilla cream, her phone rang. She stopped beating the cream and answered her phone.

  ‘Hi, Amy,’ came the familiar voice, deep and firm, but with the slight tremble of age. His English accent was thick.

  ‘Pop? Wow, hi. I … I wasn’t expecting a phone call.’

  ‘I might hate making phone calls, but it doesn’t mean I can’t when it’s important enough.’

  Her heart thudded. ‘Is everything okay?’

  ‘Everything’s fine here, but that’s why I was calling you.’

  ‘Oh?’ she said.

  ‘How are you really, Amy?’

  She sighed. ‘Despite everything that’s happened, I’m okay.’ As she reflected on that answer, she realised she believed her own words. She had felt like she was dying this morning, her world falling apart, but despite all that, right now at this moment, she was okay.

  Amy had glimpsed her own strength and resilience—something she hadn’t even known she possessed. Despite all the pain, all the misfortune, she was still alive and doing what she loved best, baking. She would get through this. If she could come through the last four months, culminating with today, she would be able to get through anything.

  It dawned on her then that the angst, hardship, and aimlessness of the last few months all had a purpose. Without even knowing, Amy had found herself. A gleeful, almost delirious chuckle fell from her lips and vibrated in her chest because she hadn’t even known she was lost.

  ‘I’
m glad to hear that,’ Pop said. ‘Your father told me about what happened with the restaurant.’

  Amy sighed. ‘He did, did he?’

  ‘Yes. And I told him to stop being such a whiny hypocrite.’

  A laugh burst from her throat.

  Pop chuckled. ‘We all fail, Amy. Your dad has failed plenty, not that he’d ever admit it. You’re too young to know, but the restaurant will be the first of many failures.’

  ‘I bloody hope not.’

  Pop chuckled again ‘I do hope so. Because it means you’re living your life. You’re taking risks. You’re extending your horizons. You can’t get to my age without failing and making many, many mistakes. But the good part about life is: you’ll get lots of things right too.’

  Amy smiled. ‘That’s a nice way to look at it.’

  ‘It’s the right way. Not the nice way. I’m not saying this to try and make you feel better. It’s the truth. And, unfortunately, your mum and dad have lost sight of that.’

  Her chest blossomed with all the love she had for her grandfather ‘I love you, Pop.’

  ‘And I love you too. So what are you going to do now?’

  ‘I’m not sure. For the last few months, I’ve been running a cupcake shop—’

  ‘Ahh,’ he said as though the pieces of information he held were clicking together. ‘That’s why you were asking for cupcake recipes.’

  She smiled. ‘Yeah. It’s been the most enjoyable time of my career. It’s relaxing, but still creative, and the looks on customers’ faces when they see all the colourful cakes lined up.’

  ‘Keep doing that then. I hear it in your voice that it speaks to you.’

  ‘It’s a little complicated.’

  ‘How so?’

  Amy told him the full story from the very beginning. She shed a few tears on the way but, in the end, she was relieved to have told someone in her family the whole truth.

  ‘So the only thing holding you back is re-inventing the shop so it’s more of a representation of yourself?’ he asked.

  ‘In a nutshell.’

  ‘Maybe I can help you with that.’

  Amy stilled, her breath caught.

  ‘I’m going to give you a couple of thousand pounds—’

  She interrupted. ‘I can’t—’

  ‘Amy,’ he said, ‘nothing would make me happier than knowing I was able to help you follow your passion. Humour an old man, who went his entire life doing something he hated, until his beautiful granddaughter came along and showed him true joy.’

  ‘Oh, Pop,’ she said with a breathy sigh.

  ‘I’m not telling you that for sympathy. I trying to convey to you that I understand. And that I’m so proud of you because out of the family, you are the only who’s had the guts to go in your own direction.

  ‘Sure, you went a little too far the wrong way, but you’ve found your middle path now. Nothing like some adversity to set you on the right track. So, here’s what I’m going to do: I’m going to deposit two thousand quid into your bank. With the exchange rate, that’s going to give you enough money to buy that espresso machine and do some renovations.’

  Tears of gratitude filled her eyes. ‘Thank you. I would appreciate that.’

  ‘It’s my pleasure. Remember, Amy, follow your heart. Always.’

  An image of Tom filled her mind and love flowered in her soul so strongly she buzzed. ‘I will.’

  Amy said goodbye, placed her phone down and leaned back against the bench. Her grandfather had helped her make the final decision.

  If Amy were to stay in Alpine Ridge and continue to run Sugar Cakes, there would always be the threat of some unknown debt finding its way to her. But she still faced that threat no matter where she worked.

  With the ability to add the coffee bar, she would be able to increase her profits. And if she implemented her other ideas, offering cakes and slices to order, she might just do okay.

  A smile spread across her face. Hope bloomed in her heart. This was the first real support she had been given in her career, and it couldn’t have come at a better time.

  An old, tinny sounding car pulled up out the front. Tom must have got the Ford working. She hobbled to the front door and stared outside. Darkness had blackened the property. Tom climbed out of the car, the light from a big full moon illuminating him, and when he saw her, he smiled. He was her everything, and her heart was bursting with love for this man.

  ‘All fixed,’ he said, climbing up the front stairs.

  ‘Thank you.’

  Tom frowned then, though he tried to hide it by lowering his head as he came inside. ‘If you need to leave for a while to make the right decisions then you’re free to go. The car is sturdy—’

  She shook her head. ‘No, Tom.’

  His eyes widened. He stepped closer ‘What are you saying?’

  ‘I’ve made up my mind.’

  ‘And?’

  She grinned. ‘And, I want to stay here in Alpine Ridge with you. I want to keep running the cupcake shop.’

  Happiness warmed his gaze. A grin so wide appeared on his face. ‘That’s great news.’

  ‘But I need to make a phone call to my parents to tell them I’ll be doing what my heart desires from now on, no matter what they say. And then there’s something I need to run by Mitch for which I’d love your support.’

  ‘Of course. I’ll back you one hundred per cent. Always.’

  Chapter 33

  Tom didn’t think the sun had ever shone more brightly than it was shining on Sunday morning. He raised his face to it, eyes closed, and breathed in the bright warmth that chased the morning’s chill.

  He held Amy’s hand, enjoying the feel of this simple yet intimate contact. Love buzzed inside him, and lust bounced from cell to cell, over her decision to stay.

  The moment she had told him the news, his future extended out before him, something he’d not allowed before. But he was also cautious not to get swept away in what they were together and what she meant to him.

  In her free hand, she held a peanut butter tart, what she believed was one of the ways to cut through Mitch’s grief and bring him to the present. Tom laughed when she mentioned that—it was a much nicer method than punching him in the face a couple of times.

  He still didn’t feel guilty about doing that. Perhaps he never would.

  Mitch was inside with Sophie. She was lying on her stomach on a blanket on the floor, lifting her head up and attempting to roll over.

  ‘Morning,’ Tom said.

  Mitch smiled. ‘Morning. Come and take a seat.’

  ‘I’ve got peanut butter caramel tart,’ Amy said, holding up the container. ‘Want some?’

  Mitch grinned. ‘Is that a serious question?’

  ‘No,’ Amy said with a laugh. ‘Just following social conventions.’

  ‘We’ll sit outside in the sun, hey?’ Tom asked.

  Mitch nodded.

  ‘Coffees for us all?’ asked Amy.

  Mitch and Tom both replied at the same time, ‘Is that a serious question?’

  Again she laughed as she headed towards the kitchen.

  Tom carried Sophie in his arms, talking to her as they headed outside. Mitch carried her bouncinette, but Tom didn’t place Sophie on it. He wanted to hold her for a while.

  He’d never imagined he could love a little person quite so much as he did Sophie.

  ‘Still certain you’re not considering allowing Pete and Barb to take care of Sophie?’ he asked Mitch. He couldn’t bear to see that happen.

  Embarrassment flittered across Mitch’s face. He peered at Sophie. ‘I don’t know what I was thinking. I could never …’

  Tom nodded. ‘I know. We’ll forget it. Let’s just write the last two days out of history.’

  ‘Agreed.’

  Amy came back with plates and spoons, followed by cups of fresh coffee. She sat beside Tom and held her hands out for Sophie. Tom reluctantly handed her over.

  ‘Hello, baby girl,’ she said, cuddling S
ophie to her chest.

  Mitch smiled as he watched Amy with Sophie, and Tom smiled as he watched Mitch. No, this wasn’t the perfect set-up, but their little family was the best they had, and they were doing okay.

  Sophie was happy and everyone at the table, as well as Sam, adored her.

  They talked about inconsequential things like the weather, how much sleep Sophie had last night, how she was almost ready to start trying solids. Tom noticed that Amy made sure Mitch had eaten a full slice of tart before she brought up the most serious aspect to their visit today.

  ‘Mitch, yesterday I decided that I’d like to stay in Alpine Ridge. I’m happy here,’ she said.

  Mitch sighed with relief. ‘I’m so glad to hear that.’

  ‘But,’ she said, ‘I did hear what you said to me at the shop—’

  Mitch shook his head. ‘No. Don’t pay credence to anything I said—’

  ‘I think you made a good point. It made me see that I’ve been holding on to Sugar Cakes as a way of not accepting Rachel’s death. And that hasn’t been healthy for me, nor fair on you.’

  Mitch went to speak, but she continued before he had a chance.

  ‘I love running that shop, and I love living close to Sophie and being able to help you out. And I’ve done all that because Rachel asked me to, and I wanted to honour her request. As a friend, I think that’s been the right thing to do.’

  Tears filled her eyes, but she blinked them back. Tom reached for her free hand and held it in support. ‘But I won’t do it anymore … for Rachel. The decision for me to stay here is my own. I made the choice for me.’

  Tom squeezed her hand.

  Mitched nodded.

  ‘I’ve been so afraid to move forward because I felt as though that meant I was leaving Rachel behind. But I can never do that because she will always have her place in my heart.

  ‘It hasn’t grown easier, not one day is easier, and I know I’ll be forever altered, but I’ve learned how to keep going without her. And I know that’s the way it has to be otherwise I’ll remain stagnant, trapped in time somewhere between the moment she was alive and the moment she died, trying desperately to keep her around. But my hands are tired from holding on so tight. So as hard as it was for me to do, I let her go.’