Super Musicians Breakthrough Do
Page 2
cinematic score and the ferocious kids. One kid finger-painted black lines underneath his eyes to put his game face on. He held up a mirror, set it down, grabbed a tissue, and wiped it off to start over. Aah! “Valuable Sunday school time wasted with the likes of these...these vandals! The gates are getting weaker!” I said. A little girl starts crying, so, I open a hole in the ceiling above her head and she floated up to her parents. “DON'T GO TO EGYPT!” I yell as the barricade broke and the war began!
When church let out that afternoon, an archangel was waiting for me outside. He was wearing a suit and tie to blend in. “Michael, what yo' quesadilla with cheese, Nosferatu, nacho supreme head-ass, super captain pickled pig'-feet-head lookin'-ass want? Any word from my wife and kid?"
"Marlynn, please don't run these off; I know you're strong enough to take care of yourself, but everybody has angels, and that's how it is... Try to accept that you have to live a normal life like everyone else now."
"Ok-ok, but I didn't run anyone off - I was seeing if they were tough enough- No harm in that."
"Alright, pilot, I read you." He could sense I was fibbing. He tries to make eye contact with me, but I pretend there's something on my sleeve and start scratching at it. "So, when do they get here?"
"I'm not telling you, liar! Look, I’m out- this place reeks."
"Tell my wife and kid I love 'em, man."
"Sure thing Write-A... Stay out of trouble." He walks away and leaves me. Then, he fades out of sight just as his wings spread and begin flapping rapidly.
I was alone, sitting in my kitchen, waiting to prank them. I had heat sensors built into my glasses, courtesy of the dark Gawnden. I was sitting in a small artillery cockpit that was made like a swiveling chair so I could turn and fire. When I heard their voices, and as they began to slowly fade into plain sight, I pulled back a lever, silently so they wouldn't hear me or the huge water-balloon... "Aah, man, stop playin' so much (Ha-Ha-Ha)...That's why nobody like' you now!"
"I don't like you... (♪Crunch-crunch-crunch♪)"
"Man, I can't work with dude, man - gimme somebody else...Damn!" They argued. One of them was eating a bowl of cereal, wearing a black baseball cap. I couldn't believe my starry eyes. "GUYS!"
“(♪crunch-smack♪)MM-OHHH SNAP!" A flying, stage-one, spy cherub - the Amolvian sentry, Liqrab - was with them; my hand slipped and I accidentally shot him down! “AA!" screams Liqrab, with an angelic belly full of innocence. He flies onto the counter-top, locks on to me, and then begins switching his targeting onto Groove, then Demo - back to Groove, then Demo - then, me again. Then, he stops targeting and whimpers like a puppy. It was as if someone was controlling him like a video game, but they didn't know what to do... "Ha-Oh my God...Dude..." My glasses were still scanning. I slap them off my head and summon my originals. "MARLYNN!" yelled Demo. The guitar strings in his breastplate magically strummed themselves, producing soothing lights.
"HA-HA-YAYYY!" Liqrab giggles, applauds, and celebrates like it was medicinal to us, having no clue why... "DUDES, WE'RE BACK! I GOT A STUDIO SET UP UPSTAIRS.... LET'S ROCK!" If you ever saw us perform, you'd probably wonder how we got together. I mean, I’m a super dweeb; Groove's black and he's proud; and Demo's a black cowboy who looks exactly like Groove. Christ fades in as they did before me. "Hold on now, don't get too excited; you can't rock yet..." he shares, continually pulling Liqrab down from his head. Liqrab keeps climbing back up, juking his hand, and whimpering like a puppy just as he reaches the top.
His voice is smooth, like a waterfall, he comes to comfort and that is all... He brings adventure forth on a never-ending voyage through the vast holy wilderness, and somewhere on the way, he wanted children...
Christ calls, "Window-" and his hyper-nano springs from his old staff. He navigates through its menus with Hebrew voice commands to play a super replay for us. It wasn't in Axe; it was here, in America! A Caucasian man with grey hair was in a church performing an awful gospel song. He looked like an ordinary pastor, but we could sense that he was wearing a bot. "Gentlemen, this is Scold Henry. He's the objective, but there are Megas in the mix! As you can see here, there are Megas playing the instruments for him, and we cannot charge them with anything for just playing music..." I tried to hit a little jig. "Dude, that is so fun to dance to; everybody's gonna wanna do that! (♪Snap♪) I am so jealous right now!" Groove laughed and Demo tried to catch the beat and jig. He tripped and fell... "(♪snap♪) My God, it's gonna kill somebody!"
"They're a very well-known gospel band; people find it funny that they are the worst musicians ever. But their hideous music is the least of your problems."
"Yeah, I know - this guy sucks!" My face expressed that I had a bad taste in my mouth. "We're all Ultra now, pops; we can handle a Mega or two-"
"They know about soul croquet. And they're sponsoring it in North America..."
Soul Croquet: Any unauthorized ghostly organ modification without the recipient's consent.
Have you ever spilled oil on a slice of bread? Cleaning up Soul Croquet is like removing the oil from the bread with your nose! It's virtually impossible! "So, who took the charge?"
"Scold Kamehameha."
"What?! SCOLD? Those idiots!" Scold Kamehameha wasn't even a demon and it sucked that we couldn't even hit them with cheating. He was on trial as we were speaking, smiling the whole time. We kept studying Henry and the Mega musicians - they were performing that horrible gospel song. They just made the gospel song so boring, dull, draggy, and hard to repeat. People were walking out of their concert, crying in laughter, mocking their lyrics, too ashamed to stay. I could see what he was doing. Scold Henry was human, so, he knew what made them laugh. His personality was way sharper than he acted. "They're gonna make anti-gospel... His act will soon become a humorous way to doubt that God's even alive. We've gotta stop these jerks!"
"They're using Henry, he's too weak." Christ sat and studied the hyper-nano window; a spy-cherub in his lap looked up at him to mimic his every move. He leans in; Liqrab leans in. He taps his fingers against his cheeks; Liqrab taps his fingers against his own cheeks. "And Croquet on top of all this; SHIT...! Excuse me..." Groove said, ashamed of his actions. Christ put away his window and defended him saying, "Kid's gotta shit..."
We go upstairs to the studio when Christ leaves and I spawn a bot to record for me while I sat on my butt. “Gentlemen, behold...the grace of God...” Bot Super Marlynn emerges and says, “Who’s Grace...? Is she hot...?” My recording studio was flooded with notebook paper. I calmly walk onto the paper over to the fancy laptop. Groove takes one-step and I yell, "DUDE... THAT'S MY BOOK!" he steps into another area. "DUDE, WATCH IT!" Liqrab and Ban sit on bot Marlynn's shoulders and repeat after me. "DOOW, WAASIT!" Finally, Groove just floats and Demo flies in. "DUDE - I'm just kiddin' - this isn't my new book dudes I already wrote this book." When everybody's focused on writing the song and Super Marlynn begins to record his nerdy vocals to the beat, Liqrab and Azarban begin to destroy the old book with their swords. We heard a knock at the door. It was such a nice and calm knock. When I opened it, Little-Azarban slipped in and a mob of giant dark ice-crystal lumped, bulky, Megas were charging for him with rage! "I'mma get yo' a- COME OUTSIDE, B''''!" They fired darkness, as I hurriedly shut the door in their faces. It banged the door. Groove floats to the door. "Boy, what the hell was that?"
"Azarban, did you lead them here? How did you...? How does he do that?"
"uhm...mow, wiss was Weepwab. They hoahwd Weepwab, I was swyyet..." We ignore Ban's lie and go get Bot Super Marlynn from the studio. I send him out to lie and say Azarban wasn't home. He steps out and disappoints the power hungry exiles. "One marrow?!"
"'EY! SEND OUT SOME COMPETITION!" the Megas yelled. "There's no difference, I’ll erase your ass too!"
"Well, you lookin' mighty sharp... Look here, phoenix... Go get Azarban; He's our property and we just want him back..."
"He's not here - I know nuke-won do, what's your organ? I heard you had s-no-balls..." Ban wa
s in the window. They look up and stare at him. They see my hand snatch him from behind the curtains and the curtains re-settle. I finally walk out to say hello and they summon a bot to fight with me. They spawned a clapping bateria playing for a Capoeira Roda! ♫WHOAH, KITANA...WHOAH, KITANA (OH, KITANA) OH, KITANA...OH, KITA (MY KITANA) ♫ then they started singing a Brazilian lyric to berimbau. "Ultra Marlynn, we have summoned a Capoeira Maestro bot to see if you're really the holy juggernaut."
"What is this...?" I asked. The song was an accelerando. As it sped up, the dark Maestro bot blindly attacks me and I dodge. Super Marlynn quickly yanks off his shoes and his shirt! The music kept accelerating. Bot Super Marlynn double clocks and kicks the clones out of the dark bot, the Megas, and the bateria as I gradually went back inside to check on our new super song's progress. I had prayed over my house, so, they couldn't get in, they were just lounging all over my drive way and my lawn. One of them senses Groove. "Sh'', n'''', here come' Groove!" they all scatter. Little-Azarban possesses an orange and pushes holes out to wear it like a jump suit as we record and play hype men for each other. His arms and his head were out - all besides his feet; he just bounced around and screamed playfully. "What an idiot..." said Demo. He bounces