A Little Bit Vampy

by A. A. Albright

  ‘So was it Ron, then?’ Bella asked suddenly, with a scowl on her face. ‘Was he the one who told you what we were up to?’

  Nollaig and Cassandra must have taken the cloaking off their brooms, because they appeared in the air above the waning dome.

  ‘That good for nothing?’ said Nollaig. ‘As if he’d go out of his way to help anyone.’

  ‘Nollaig,’ he called up to her in a plaintive whine. ‘That’s not true, my darling! I tried to get out of there but … I just … they’re too powerful for me.’

  ‘I was sure it was you who told them our plans,’ Bella said to Ron. ‘But honestly? I think I might enjoy punishing you anyway. I’m not sure why I ever thought it was a good idea to bring you into the gang.’

  While Bella eyeballed Ron, Darina turned to us. ‘So if it wasn’t Bella’s precious Ron-Ron, then who was it? Who snitched on us? Who told you lot we’d be coming here tonight?’

  I resisted the strong urge to stare right at the tattle-tale, but Alvis wasn’t making it easy. He was holding up a wing and doing an air-dance of victory, right in Bella’s face.

  ‘It was me, you idiot,’ said Cassandra, flying into Darina’s vision. ‘You didn’t think you could really keep me contained with that pathetic excuse for a boundary spell, did you?’

  Melissa gave her granny a slack-jawed stare. I could understand her bewilderment. Not only had Cassandra nabbed Alvis’s credit for herself, she had also managed to leave out the fact that, without us, she’d still be stuck in her house.

  Before Melissa could give her grandmother some well-deserved snark, Darina snapped her fingers. Instantly, Felim began to move against his will, drawn by Darina’s spell. I felt him whip out from behind me, flying past me and into the centre of the dome. She snatched the staff from the other wizard’s hands and placed it into Felim’s. ‘Channel for us, old man, or we’ll kill you.’

  Felim squinted at her. ‘Kill me then. I know what your sort thinks of wizards. You’ll kill me anyway, as soon as I’m no use to you anymore.’

  I allowed my heart to fill with hope, just for a second. If Felim didn’t help them, then this was over. They had no more wizards to burn through and without a wizard channelling, I could destroy the staff’s magic for good.

  My voice was really beginning to struggle, but I could give it one last push, I knew I could. I drew a little more from Jared and Melissa, raising my voice louder. So loud that I was hurting my own eardrums.

  As I sang, Greg stepped forward. ‘Never mind, Felim,’ he said. ‘I’ll take the staff. It’s true that I consider my wizard side far inferior to my vampirism, but needs must.’

  I stared in horror at my friend, my voice faltering and sounding more crow-like than ever. I couldn’t help but notice that Greg still looked all-vampire, which was strange. He hadn’t clutched his chest like the rest of them had. I veered my eyes to Pru. She looked just as robust as usual, too. As for Ron … well, he just looked as sorry for himself as he always had. He struck me as the sort of guy who would complain even more than usual if he were to lose his vampirism.

  Had the thorns missed those three? If so, then it was game over for us. Not only was Greg a strong enough wizard to wield the staff, but he was also a strong enough vampire to compel both Jared and Melissa to stop feeding me their power.

  ‘You should have killed him when you had the chance,’ Cassandra told me.

  I gritted my teeth. ‘Shut up, Cassandra.’

  ‘Well, I’m only saying … if you’d killed him we’d all be at home right now, wouldn’t we? Enjoying a glass of wine. Maybe some pizza. Instead, we’re all about to die.’

  She might be right, but getting all I told you so about it just made me want to throttle her even more than usual. Greg had the staff in his hand, and he was walking my way. Tears began to well in my eyes, and I was having more trouble than ever as I tried to keep on singing.

  Bella jumped up and down excitedly. ‘Deal with Aisling first,’ she said. ‘She won’t be able to keep hurting our ears with that horrible voice of hers if she’s dead. Once we’re done with her, we can finally get on with destroying the tree – and the fae.’

  ‘You’re absolutely right, Bella.’ Greg looked back at her with a smile. ‘It’s time to deal with Aisling, once and for all. Come on Pru, I could use your help.’

  With a little giggle, Pru ran to join him, pressing her hand in his. They moved towards us more quickly now. My throat felt like it was bleeding, but I sang and sang like our lives depended on it – because they did. Every single person I loved would die if I couldn’t fully destroy that staff.

  And I could do it, I knew I could, if I only had a little more time. I was seconds away from shattering the magic into oblivion. I sang louder and louder, terror vibrating through my voice.

  Greg and Pru reached me, standing inches away. Greg began to reach out, a smile on his face, and then he …

  … placed the staff at my feet?

  What the heck? My singing faltered as I looked down at the staff. Without a wizard’s hands upon it, it wasn’t a column of blood-red flame. It was just an old, crooked wooden staff.

  Behind Greg, Darina, Bella and Roger looked like they might be on the verge of a collective nervous breakdown. As for Ron and Jack Burns, they just sat down on the ground, looking utterly relieved.

  ‘What are you doing?’ Roger cried. ‘Bring that staff back to us. At once!’

  Greg looked at him, smirked and said, ‘No.’

  Bella’s eyes rounded with rage. ‘You … you work for us, Gregariad. You belong to us, and you’ll do what we say.’

  Greg’s smirk grew wider. ‘What can I say?’ he told them with a little shrug of his shoulders. ‘You just can’t get the staff these days.’ He reached into his cloak, took out a flask (filled with what smelled like blood), and had a deep drink.

  Relief flooded through me. Greg was our Greg all along. He really had been playing Hungry Dragons and chowing down on strawberry-flavoured Chomp-Chomps when I saw him last night.

  ‘You …’ said Roger. ‘That’s … how are you still a vampire?’

  Ron held up a hand. ‘I am too, for what it’s worth.’

  ‘Me too,’ said Pru.

  Greg looked at my mother. ‘Yeah, what’s with that, Abby? It seemed like the thorns decided to hit everyone but us.’

  My mother gave him a shy grin. ‘That’s because they did. The tree did exactly what I controlled it to do. I directed the thorns to fly into the hearts of every single member of Vlad’s Boys. And clearly you, Pru and Ron were never real members.’

  While Roger, Darina and Bella spluttered, Pru took her turn to talk. ‘Don’t act so surprised, you bunch of maniacs. Greg was never on your side. And no one else is, either, because he’s compelled them all to stand down. Oh, and as for my dad, you did kidnap him, Bella. He was hardly a willing participant.’

  ‘You had this planned all along?’ said Jared with a gasp. ‘This whole thing – Greg being a crazed coffin collector, compelling you to be his girlfriend … all of it was a set-up? Jeez Louise. It’s probably a good thing Ash didn’t go ahead with murdering you like we planned, Greg.’

  Greg swivelled his gaze to me. ‘You were going to murder me?’ He smacked a hand against his forehead. ‘The spilled blood. It had something in it, didn’t it? That was you, not Esmerelda.’

  ‘It was,’ I admitted. ‘Your blood was poisoned. I spilled it because, when it came down to it, I just couldn’t kill you. No matter how annoying you got. So I came up with a better plan.’

  ‘You sure did,’ he agreed. ‘But how did you even get in to that party?’

  Pru touched Greg’s arm, giving him a fond smile. ‘How about we save the catch-ups for when this is all done and dusted, Greggy?’ She looked pointedly at Melissa. ‘If Ash trusts me to, then I’d like to take your place in this little love-in. The staff needs to be destroyed for good.’

  Melissa gave me a questioning glance and I nodded my head. ‘Get on over here, Pru,�
� I said.

  With a tear streaking down her cheek, she took Melissa’s place by my side. Her palm wrapped tight around mine, and the second we performed the joining spell, I felt a rush of fresh, strong power. Pru’s vampire magic was at least a match for Jared’s. I took hold of that power, opened my mouth wider than ever, and screamed at the staff. I knew it was my ugliest screech yet, because everyone sank to the ground, clutching their ears and looking pained. They’d just have to put up with it for a little while more, though, because I finally had enough juice to finish the job.

  With Pru’s help, the magic cracked apart into countless tiny droplets of blood, before blinking out of existence for good.

  I would have liked to take a minute or two to revel in the fact that the staff was gone, but it wasn’t to be. While we were busy destroying the staff, Bella and her gang were taking their opportunity to scarper.

  Melissa was the first to notice what they were doing. She pointed a finger and cried, ‘Conáil!’ instantly freezing Darina and Jack Burns. Ron didn’t seem to need to be frozen, seeing as he’d let them all run off without him.

  Roger, on the other hand, had run towards the trees before Melissa’s spell could catch him. And as for Bella, well … she had been brought back to life by an incredibly powerful sacrifice, so she still had a lot of magic at her disposal.

  Dylan, Grace, my mother and grandmother joined Melissa, all of them desperately trying to freeze, bind, or disempower Bella. But each attempt simply bounced off her. With a cackle worthy of a hag, she lifted her arm, preparing to click her fingers.

  Her cackle soon faded away, though, as Alvis swooped, pecking at her face and clawing at her arms.

  ‘What the …? What’s scratching me?’

  ‘Oh yeah,’ I said, while my grandmother sent another freezing spell in her direction. ‘Your familiar came back as a ghost. And he hates you just as much as we do. He’s been helping us all along. He’s the one who told us you’d be here tonight, not Cassandra.’

  Bella probably would have made a scathing comeback, but her mouth was just as frozen as the rest of her. Small mercies, I thought, as tiredness wafted over me.

  ‘You think you’re knackered?’ said Jared. ‘Try having an over-enthusiastic fae-witch hybrid draining your battery for half an hour.’ He gave me a good-natured smile before pulling me in for a hug. As he held me, I could feel his body sag against mine. Clearly, he hadn’t been lying. He’d given me everything he had – he and Pru both had. Now that the staff was destroyed, I imagined they’d be putting their feet up for quite a few days to come.

  I was just planning all the TV we could watch together, when a flash of fur caught my eye. I snapped to attention, but by then it was too late. A werewolf was in the clearing, and he was headed for Roger Balfe.

  25. Cats Versus Dogs

  ‘It’s Mark,’ said Felim, pointing frantically at his grandson. By now, Mark had bowled Roger over and was wrestling him on the ground.

  Just as when I’d seen him in the alley behind Claire’s Café, the wolf version of Mark was enormous. He was obviously intelligent too, given that he’d probably been out in the woods this whole time, waiting for his opportunity to pounce.

  Felim pointed his turnip-tipped wand to no avail. One by one, the rest of us tried to stop Mark, too. By now, with all of Vlad’s Boys (bar Roger) arrested, we were all feeling a little bit the worse for wear, so it was no wonder our magic was weak. I was surprised to find, though, that even my grandmother’s spells seemed to bounce off Mark.

  ‘He’s a determined little doggy, isn’t he?’ she murmured, before giving it another try. ‘Why can’t I freeze him?’

  ‘You might as well give up trying,’ said Felim. ‘Mark isn’t just the wildest werewolf our family’s ever seen. His hide is thick enough to repel almost every magic known. If you get him in the eye, I suppose a freezing or binding spell might work but … who can manage a decent aim when he’s moving so quickly?’

  ‘Oh no,’ said Jack Burns in a half-hearted voice. I could see the Vampire-Proof Thingy all around him (yes, that was the real name of the magical field suppressing Jack’s power). ‘I think the wolf is going to kill him. However am I going to live without my dear and wonderful master?’

  ‘Are you being sarcastic about my impending death?’ Roger bawled, from somewhere beneath Mark’s bulk. ‘I’ll cut your wages in half for that.’

  Jack was too busy laughing to bother with a reply. Mark was completely smothering Roger by now, so he wouldn’t have heard anything anyway.

  ‘This is getting ridiculous,’ said Fuzz. ‘I’ll go deal with it.’

  Before I could argue, he walked casually towards the brawl. When he reached Mark, he arched his back, hissing right in the werewolf’s face. I thought my kitty was about to be a goner, and I was just about to go over there and save his furry little behind, when a loud whimper escaped from Mark. He whimpered again, then rolled off Roger and bared his belly to Fuzz.

  ‘I can’t believe it,’ said Dylan. ‘Mark’s backing down. He’s …’

  ‘Eek,’ I said. ‘He’s changing.’ The werewolf was becoming a naked human, transforming quickly before my eyes. ‘You’d better go and cover him up before Fuzz decides to scratch anything delicate.’

  While my grandmother and Melissa dealt with Roger, Felim and Dylan ran over to Mark. Felim threw his cloak over his shivering grandson, while Dylan got on the phone for a healer. While they were busy with Mark, Fuzz meandered back to me, hopped up into my arms and said, ‘I don’t usually like to make political points, but I think I’ve made it clear to you all that cats beat dogs every time.’

  Mark looked at Fuzz and, through chattering teeth, said, ‘I’m not a dog. I’m a werewolf.’

  Fuzz shrugged. ‘Potato tomato.’

  ‘That’s not the phrase,’ I informed him.

  ‘It could be,’ he said.

  Too tired to argue the point, I looked over at Mark instead. He was standing up, covered in his grandfather’s cloak, shivering. ‘Wait, did I just say I’m a werewolf? Am I … oh my God, Granddad. I am a werewolf. Did you know about that?’

  Felim gave his grandson a guilty smile. ‘We’ll talk about it when we get home.’

  26. A Few Days Later

  I sat in Claire’s Café, sipping a cup of coffee. Felim sat opposite me, digging into a fried egg sandwich. As the egg spilled down his chin, he nodded his head towards the counter and said, ‘This is going to end badly.’

  I followed his eyes. Mark was sitting on a stool by the counter, having a deep and meaningful discussion about tractors with Claire. She glanced around to make sure that Felim and I were the only customers, and then said, ‘I heard that a werewolf pack in County Kerry are having a tractor pulling competition during the next full moon. You should enter.’

  As I’m sure you can gather, we had not wiped her memory. We hadn’t wiped Mark’s either. After a long talk with Florence at Night and Gale, we’d come to the conclusion that it was best for Mark to know what he was, and for Claire to know too.

  Whatever the reason, the universe kept right on throwing these two together, no matter what Felim might do to keep them apart. It seemed that as long as Claire was in this world, Mark would find her, and each time he did, he would protect her with his life.

  It wasn’t an ideal scenario, but splitting them up hadn’t worked in the past, so we were trying a new tactic. Mark was going to let the wolf out each month, under supervision of a local pack. If he ever felt the need to change at any other time, there was a suppressant he was to take. My father and grandmother had created the new suppressant, and they had also made a spray that Claire would have on her at all times, so that she could calm him down if he failed to take his potion himself.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know,’ I said to Felim. ‘She might be his Varibad Crystal, but she’s also the love of his life. And let’s face it – he’ll never find another woman who loves tractors as much as he does.’ I finished my drink and picked up my bag. ‘I k
now those two are too busy staring at each other to come to the tea party. How about you?’

  The wizard shook his head. ‘I’m tired after dealing with Bella this morning. I have turnips that need tending to back at the farm.’

  ‘Are you sure? I heard a rumour that my mother baked a turnip pie.’

  His eyes widened. ‘Well then,’ he said, stuffing the rest of his sandwich into his mouth and quickly swallowing. ‘Why didn’t you say so sooner? Let’s get over there quick, before it’s all eaten.’

  ≈

  As Felim and I walked into the Fisherman’s Friend together, I saw the turnip pie at the centre of the bar, along with countless other baked goodies and pots of tea and coffee. While people were trying out most of the treats, the turnip pie didn’t seem to be generating quite the amount of interest Felim had predicted.

  The tavern was closed to all but family and friends today, and we were making the most of it. The last time the Fisherman’s Friend had hosted a private party, it had been the wedding of doom. So to be here, now, with Vlad’s Boys gone once and for all, well it was definitely something to celebrate.

  With the Staff of Wrath destroyed, the Wayfarers had returned to normal along with everyone else, and they had quickly arrested all of the gang members. After the embarrassment of being compelled to let so many offenders out of prison, the justice system was working hard to make amends. All of the gang members’ trials had been rushed through the Wyrd Court – well, all except one.

  Ronaldo’s trial had been set for a year from now, and in the meantime he was under house arrest in a small apartment close to the Wyrd Court. I’d spoken with the Minister for Magical Law, and it was obvious she was troubled about what to do with Ron. He had once been Ronaldo the Righteous, but those crimes had taken place centuries ago. Since then, the only thing he’d been guilty of was being a cheat and a coward. Sure, he’d come up with the idea of Vlad’s Boys with Bella Foyle, but his original idea was nothing like what the gang had become. And the fact that the thorns had avoided him proved that he shared none of their current beliefs.