House of Silence (Poisoned Houses Book 3)

by Lyn Forester

  “We can take a blanket out and sleep under the stars.”

  “Sounds cold.”

  “Well, then, we’ll just kick Trevor out of his room, and we can all hang out there.”

  “Okay.”

  “Yeah?” He sounds excited.

  “Yeah.” I bump my knees against the back of his thighs. “Now, go back to sleep.”

  Another long silence follows, and for a moment, I think he actually fell asleep, but then he whispers, his voice almost too low to hear, “If you have trouble sleeping, we can do this again.”

  The offer sounds fragile, like he needs this more than I do, and I hug him tighter. “Thank you.”

  The Things We Do Not Say

  As soon as the light shifts to the dim yellow glow of Quarter-Light, Felix stirs and sits up. Not surprising since neither of us managed to fall back asleep.

  Across the room, Myrrine still coos in sleep. She never wakes until Half-Light, another thirty minutes from now, when the yellow light brightens enough to be intrusive.

  Quietly, Felix and I slip from the bed and tiptoe to the door, though we needn’t have bothered. It takes a lot to wake Myrrine once she’s asleep.

  As we pass the closet, Bastian gives me a solemn nod. Looks like he held true to his word and guarded me all night.

  Hopefully, they’ll learn to trust Felix soon, or I won’t be able to let him stay over again. I feel guilty enough that Bastian lost one night of sleep over my request.

  Out in the hall, we find ourselves alone, the rest of the dorm still muffled by sleep, and Felix catches my hand as we head for the showers. Sometimes, the crush in the morning to claim a stall means waiting in line and cutting breakfast short or risk being late for class. But this morning, up before everyone else, we’ll have our pick.

  As we enter the communal bathroom, I let go of Felix’s hand, stretch, then groan as my muscles protest.

  Felix steps behind me, hands on my shoulders in a light massage. “You’re stiff? Sorry I took up so much of the bed.”

  I let my head loll forward as his thumbs dig into the back of my neck. “I don’t know the last time I slept that solidly. I don’t think I moved once during the night.”

  He pushes my hair over one shoulder to drop a light kiss to my nape. “So, this is the pain of sleeping too well?”

  “Yep. All your fault.” I lean back against him for a moment with my eyes closed. “Next time, you’ll have to kick me more often to make sure I move around some.”

  He lets out a quiet growl. “I like the sound of next time. Any chance Myrrine can go sleep somewhere else?”

  I dig an elbow into his stomach. “Don’t push it.”

  “You never did tell me why she dislikes me so much.” Arms looping around my stomach, he lifts until only my toes touch the ground and walks us toward the shower stalls. “I want to hear that story while we wash up.”

  “Oh no, you don’t!” I wiggle to free myself, but his hold stays firm. “We’re using separate stalls!”

  “Where’s your sense of adventure, Sparks?” He walks us past the wall that separates the showers from the main room, and we freeze.

  Or, rather, he freezes, and I just dangle in his arms.

  The light glows over one of the sanitizer units to indicate it’s in use. The school only supplies a few of the compartments, as most students switched back to the wasteful practice of using real water to bathe after the halion designed boxes came into more common use on the levels below ours. Apparently, if it’s good enough for the less fortunate, then it’s not good enough for the elite.

  Who cares if the water we waste could go to better use?

  The reminder of other people acts as a brisk slap to my senses. I’m not usually this playful, but Felix makes it difficult to remember that.

  “We’re not alone.” I wiggle again, shoving at Felix’s arms.

  This time, he releases me. “Who would be up at this unappealing hour?”

  “Someone who wants to beat the rush.” I walk to the cabinet that holds towels and robes. The staff replaces them every day, even the unused ones, so students are never left to use any item more than once.

  Felix follows, and I pass him one of each before pulling out a robe and towel for myself.

  Down the aisle, the light over the sanitizer clicks off. The hyper-efficient cleaning units take almost no time to use by combining a special mist and halion technology to vaporize dirt from the body.

  The door slides open, and Nikola steps out, a towel draped around his waist as he reaches for the robe on a hook. His dark, tired eyes lift, then widen to find us staring back.

  We all freeze in awkward silence, and my gaze drops unintentionally to his exposed body. He’s leanly muscled and virtually hairless except for a swirl of dark hair under his belly button that disappears into his towel. Aesthetically attractive by any measure of the word, as he was no doubt designed to be, but it’s the small bruises that pepper his body that bring me closer to him.

  I frown, my attention focused on a dark one under his left arm. “Nikola, what happened to you?”

  He shakes himself into motion, grabs the robe, and slips into it. “Caitlyn, you’re up earlier than usual.”

  “Don’t change the subject.” I reach for the front of his robe, wanting a better look at his injuries, but he steps out of reach. “What happened to you?”

  “A misstep that won’t happen again.” A reassuring smile slides into place. “I apologize for being unsightly in your presence.”

  “That’s not something you need to apologize for!” When I reach for him again, Felix catches my wrist.

  “Sprinkles, you better claim a stall before everyone else wakes up. We can talk about this later.”

  I turn an angry glare on him, disliking being told what to do, but his serious expression pulls me up short.

  He tilts his head back in the direction of the water-based showers. “The hot water will be good for your sore muscles.” He gives Nikola a lazy smile. “Single beds are so hard to share comfortably.”

  My lips tighten at Felix’s unsubtle claim. Nikola made a similar comment at their first meeting, implying a familiarity that doesn’t exist between us. What is with men and their need to mark territory? I’m not a clay figure for them to stamp their ownership on, and it boils my blood to be treated as such.

  Nikola’s expression turns impassive. “If the ache persists, I have a salve that may help.”

  “Use it on yourself,” I snap and march away, annoyed at both of them now.

  Hanging the robe on the outside hook, I step into the shower stall, reach past the short dividing wall that separates the towel warming bar from the actual shower, and turn on the faucet. Water cascades down from an overhead spout, muffling the sounds in the outer area.

  I wait a minute, then crack the door back open. Nikola moved out of the shower area, and from the lack of lights over any other stalls, I assume Felix went with him.

  Silent, I slip out of the stall and tiptoe to the dividing wall where their voices become clear.

  “So, who’s bullying you?” Felix demands without preamble.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” comes Nikola’s cool response. A rustle follows, then the sound of plastic against the counter.

  Felix’s voice grows more distant as he follows him, and I picture them both at the sinks. “You don’t get bruises like that just from walking around.”

  “I fell,” Nikola says stiffly. “Forgive me for being clumsy.”

  “You don’t get bruises like that from falling, either. Someone did that to you.”

  Exasperation fills Nikola’s voice. “And why would you care if they did? We’re not friends, Felix. We’re opponents.”

  “We don’t have to be friends for me to not like seeing someone be bullied.” Felix’s voice quiets, and I creep closer to hear. “You don’t have scrapes on your knuckles, which means you didn’t fight back. I didn’t take you as someone who’d just lay down and take it.�
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  “Then you don’t know me that well.” Nikola gives a bitter laugh. “Sometimes, laying down and taking it is the only option.”

  My breath catches, and I clamp a hand over my mouth to silence myself. I’ve never heard Nikola sound so defeated before, and it opens an ache in my chest for the childhood friend I grew up with.

  What would bring him to that state of mind?

  “You’re not a helpless child,” Felix scoffs.

  Condescension rings clear. “One doesn’t have to be a child to have their hands tied.”

  “Whatever you were used to before, life at APA is different.” Now, Felix sounds angry. “You can stand up for yourself.”

  After a long pause, Nikola says, “I can’t decide if you’re encouraging me to see me fail, or actually concerned.”

  Bewilderment fills Felix’s voice. “How is telling you to stand up for yourself making you fail?”

  When Nikola laughs again, it holds an edge of hopelessness. “You’re smart. Follow that path to the logical conclusion.”

  Felix barely takes a breath before he releases a sigh. “Ah.”

  “You see my dilemma.” Plastic crinkles. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to clean my teeth in private?”

  Footsteps move closer, and I run back to the shower stall, closing myself inside. My mind whirls with too little information to jump to the same conclusion Felix and Nikola obviously arrived at without words, and it makes me want to scream, to march out and demand answers, to force them to reveal all their secrets.

  But Nikola refused to speak to me, which means he doesn’t trust me with whatever is happening.

  Not that I blame him.

  Our relationship is built from broken history and promises half made. Obligation and expectation add another weight, another burden, weakening the fragile line we walk, eroding it until it will break, sending us into free fall with no guarantee where either of us will land.

  I struggle to focus in class, my mind bogged down by the events of the morning. At lunch, only muscle memory prevents me from receiving a whap from Mr. Baresly’s ruler during etiquette class. Felix and Connor both send me concerned glances while Nikola stiffly pretends nothing happened.

  Once we return to class for the afternoon, only Garrett and Myrrine seem in good spirits as they debate the fundamentals of rice distribution. Felix upholds his side of the bargain with my roommate and answers one more question than her in class, much to Myrrine’s annoyance since it’s obvious he’s not even paying attention.

  When Mr. Halcroft releases us for the day, I drag my feet out of the classroom, not eager to go to the library to work on our essay. I want time alone to process my thoughts, to analyze the overheard conversation between Nikola and Felix to see where they lost me.

  My stomach rolls at the idea someone would bully Nikola. He’s only been here a week, not long enough for his brisk attitude to rub anyone the wrong way.

  Unless he reacquainted with one of his old schoolmates. I eye the backs of my classmates, who I know so little about. All of them are too young to have attended school with Nikola prior to coming here, so it must be an upperclassman.

  Despite my obvious desire to be left alone, Felix hangs back, leaving his project partner to head to the library alone.

  He nudges me in the arm. “Heavy thoughts?”

  I grunt in response, a sound that startles even me. Grunting is not in Caitlyn Lonette’s or Sparks’s repertoire.

  Felix ducks down to peer into my face. “Seriously, Sprinkles. Are you okay?”

  My tongue sticks to the back of my teeth. I can’t bring myself to demand answers from Felix. Nor can I pin Nikola down and command he speak to me. I’ve made it apparent more than once that I don’t trust him, nor accept him as my secretary.

  He holds no allegiance to me outside of what he chooses to give, nor should he.

  I’m failing again. Failing at being a demi-Councilor. Failing at rejecting my predestined role. Stuck somewhere in the space between with the strings of expectation pulling me from both sides.

  Ignoring Felix’s question, I push the door to the outside open and walk straight into another person.

  A diaphanous cloud of white surrounds me, cool to the touch like the mist when the Weather Wardens open the water spouts just enough to water the lawns before Half-Light.

  Cool hands grip my arms to steady me, and I glance up into the arresting face of the school counselor. He towers over me at over six and a half feet tall, his narrow body draped in soft white fabric that seems to float around him like a living cloud. Today, he wears his long, pale-blue braids in twin plaits on either side of his head to drape down his chest. Little silver bells and crystals interwoven in the strands release a quiet chime.

  His opalescent skin swirls blue and white with hints of jade as he studies me. “Child, you are troubled.”

  The breathy sound of his voice burrows into my ears, digging toward my brain, and my stomach rolls with nausea.

  I struggle to focus, to pull the image of my disc-bike’s light stream to the forefront of my mind. “I’m fine, Counselor. Please, pardon my inattention.”

  When I try to step away, his long fingers curl tighter around my arms, making my bones feel like twigs in his grasp. “Nonsense. You are obviously burdened by heavy thoughts. Perhaps a visit to my office will alleviate your troubles.”

  “She said no,” Felix growls and yanks me free from the counselor’s hold.

  The ticklish sensation at my ears fades as his focus shifts to Felix. “Ah, the elder Williams brother. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you in my chair yet. I was told you were a bit of a rule breaker.”

  “Sorry to exceed expectations.” Felix tucks me close to his side and angles for the opposite door. “Don’t expect either of us in your chair anytime soon.”

  He turns to track our steps, his pale-blue eyes intense. “A mind overburdened will break.”

  Without response, we run past him into the outer courtyard. The door closes, a flimsy barrier that nevertheless offers immense comfort. Without pause, Felix pulls me down the steps and toward the dorms.

  I stumble after him, peering back over my shoulder at the library. “But what about our group meetings?”

  “I can’t right now.” Tension fills his voice, and his steps lack his usual grace, his motions jerky.

  The hand that holds mine trembles for a moment before he grips my fingers tighter. Silent, I let him drag me up the steps of Lonette Hall, past the sofa and the constant stream of news, and up the stairs to the dorm rooms.

  When we reach my door, I open it without hesitation, and he drags me inside.

  As soon as the door shuts, he releases my hand and spins to press me against the wall, his head dropping to my shoulder. His entire body shakes, his breathing ragged against my throat. The hands that cup my waist tremble, and my arms curl around him, all the worry of earlier forgotten in my need to comfort Felix.

  The moment my hands touch his back, he presses closer, as if he needed that indication of acceptance before he let himself go fully.

  “Those fucking mind fuckers,” he gasps as he rubs the side of his head against my shoulder, and after a moment, I realize he’s scrubbing at his ear.

  I cup the back of his neck. “Hey, it’s okay. He can’t touch you. He’s not here. It’s just you and me.”

  “God, Sparks.” His head lifts, and his forehead presses to mine, his grass-green eyes fractured with pain. “When he put his hands on you—”

  I stroke his arms. “It’s okay, I didn’t let him into my mind.”

  “He wanted to, though.” His cheek slides against mine before it finds my ear, and his stubble scrapes along the sensitive lobe. “He wanted in your mind. He wanted inside you.”

  My heart trips, emotions tangling together in a confusing mess of worry for Felix, the need to comfort, and the first licks of desire.

  Felix’s head drops, his lips finding the sensitive place behind my ear and following it down
the side of my neck. “He had no right. You’re not his.”

  He burrows past my collar, mouth opening over my shoulder, and my pulse races for what comes next.

  “Gentle,” I gasp at the same moment his teeth press into my skin, igniting a buzz in my body that travels over my nipples, bringing them to aching awareness where they press against Felix’s hard chest.

  When he sucks gently on the wound, my fingers tangle in his hair to hold him close. His hands mold over my back and hips, investigating the planes and curves of my body through my clothes.

  Moving back up the line of my throat, he leaves kisses that sting and spark along the way before he catches my earlobe between his teeth, then licks along the outer shell of my ear. “You’re mine.”

  With a whimper of desire, my eyes flutter close. “Yes.”

  Breath flutters over my lips, and they part, ready for a kiss that doesn’t come.

  Uncertain, my eyes crack open once more to find Felix only inches away, color high in his cheeks and his eyes bright with an inner fire I yearn to claim for myself. That kind of fire can melt away all my concerns, all my worries and self-doubt, turning everything meaningless to ash and leaving only us behind.

  He cups my cheeks. “I want to touch you.”

  Heart racing, I nod, not understanding why he stopped in the first place.

  A breathy laugh escapes him. “You’re testing all my limits here, Sparks.”

  At the use of my racer name, some of the fire dies. Felix only wants a part of me, and not even a part that exists anymore. I can’t let this continue. Of all the things we do not say, this can’t be one of them any longer. My plans with Declan and my desire to be with Felix and Connor war with each other, and I need to speak this secret, to know we’re all on the same page before we’re swept away in the moment.

  I reach up to trace the line of his jaw. “What happens when we leave here?”

  Unprepared for the question, he frowns. “What do you mean?”

  “School is a moment in time. In two years, we’ll be considered adults, able to sign our own contracts, able to make choices.” I trace the groove between his brows. “In four years, we graduate. What happens then? Have you thought about it?”