House of Silence (Poisoned Houses Book 3)

by Lyn Forester

  I’m so tired. Tired of people’s assumptions. Tired of being told what to think, how to act.

  The cracks around my emotions spread, anger bubbling to the surface.

  Unaware of the fine line he walks, he forges on. “Myrrine is an experiment to see if APA is equipped to protect one of the halion’s limited females, and we can’t have anything endangering that. Do you understand?”

  Myrrine, my friend, relegated to a political pawn allowed no feelings of her own. Felix, my love, slandered for his past behavior, even though he’s behaved since he arrived.

  “I do.” I push to my feet, cold rage seething through me, though my voice remains calm. “However, technically speaking, we’re not doing anything that breaks school rules and are therefore not obligated to change our actions.”

  His lips part, arguments ready to convince me why I’m wrong, why I should put the people I care about into uniform boxes with labels that fit within society’s acceptance of what rumor says to be true.

  I hold up a hand, unwilling to hear it.

  “If you are truly concerned about Myrrine’s safety, I suggest you speak to her directly. I would very much like to hear what she has to say.” I walk toward the door, then pause before glancing back. “But if you bother Felix with this... I will not have you condemn him for something he hasn’t even done. Non-disclosure or not, Archie, you are only from the Eleventh House. Go against me in this, and I will make your life impossible.”

  Eyes wide, Archie lurches to his feet and bows. “My apologies, demi-Councilor Lonette.”

  I stride out the door without another word.

  Secrets Told

  Connor straightens away from the Year Three building, relief washing over his face. “I was beginning to think you wouldn’t come.”

  “Sorry, I was held up.” Without waiting for permission, I step into his personal space, wrapping my arms around his trim waist.

  I need Connor’s calm right now, need it to ease the anger that still pushes me to return to Archie’s room, to remove any chance Archie’s concerns reach Felix and damage any shred of confidence he’s gained.

  It scares me, the ease with which I slipped into cold calculation, how swiftly I took control and put Archie in his place. The expression on his face when I left makes me sick to my stomach. And I used the same chilly aloofness with Felix just moments before when I sent him away.

  What if pushing my emotions down turns me into the robot my father wants me to become? What if this is the beginning?

  I tremble at the idea and hug Connor closer.

  “Hey.” His arms delicately wind around me, as if afraid I’ll break, and maybe I will. “Is everything okay?”

  “No.” I exhale against his chest, a shudder rolling through me, then drag in a breath of his clean smelling cologne. “No, everything is not okay.”

  His cheek rubs against the top of my head. “Will you tell me about it?”

  My arms tighten around him. “Will you tell me what happened to Felix when he disappeared?”

  Breath catching, he freezes.

  “I can search for the information myself,” I whisper into his chest, unable to look up at him. “I can tell Nikola to delve into the House Williams data banks. If there’s any record, I can uncover it. I considered doing it already. To find out what happened to know how to approach Felix better. But I’m asking instead. I don’t want to go behind your backs. If it’s a secret I can’t know, then tell me now, and I won’t bring it up again.”

  A long sigh escapes, and Connor’s arms drop back to his sides. “There’s no record. Not at our House. Not anywhere. Our parents made everything disappear. For a while, I thought—” His breath catches again. “I thought they’d make Felix disappear, too.”

  Fear turns my blood to ice. Make Felix disappear? The idea I never would have met him, that he could have vanished from this world without me ever knowing his fire and passion, terrifies me. Panic creeps back in, my mind spiraling into all the what-if scenarios, but I force them down with even breaths, in and out. Felix isn’t gone. He’s here in this school. Safe, if not entirely whole.

  Connor grips my shoulders, moving me back a step. From behind his glasses, his grass-green eyes search mine. “Are you sure you want to hear this?”

  “No.” I lick my dry lips. “But I need to. I need to understand why he clings to the people close to him, why he gets agitated the way he does, why he sleeps better when he’s not alone. I need to know all of it, or we’re going to break.”

  Connor’s thumbs stroke my shoulders. “Have you asked him?”

  “No. We got in a fight.” My eyes begin to burn.

  I struggle with the desire to push the emotions down. I need to stop doing that, stop denying how and what I feel. I told Felix to accept the whole me, and I need to do the same.

  I meet Connor’s steady gaze and force myself to tell him what happened. “I asked what he thought of our future, of how we’d be together in our current positions, and he got angry, accused me of leading him on and refused to let me explain. I told him to cool his head, to figure out if he really wants to be with me, because I’m not sure he does. He says he loves me, but he also said he doesn’t want me to be Caitlyn Lonette. He wants me to just be Sparks, but I can’t do that. Not if I want to stay here with him, with you.”

  Connor’s fingers brush over my cheeks and come away wet. “Okay, just slow down for a second.”

  But I can’t, not now that I opened the dam. All the words I swallowed surge to the surface, demanding freedom. “And I’ve thought of not being Caitlyn Lonette. I’ve even dreamed and planned for it. But if that happens, I can’t stay in Leton. My family will never allow me to escape as long as I live in this city stack. I’d have to leave here, and then we couldn’t be together. Not you, not me, not Felix. I wouldn’t be here anymore.”

  His lips part in shock. “You’re leaving Leton?”

  “I planned to, before the crash, before my father found out about the racing. I was saving all my racing funds. I have an account he doesn’t know about that I planned to use to go to Roen.” His hands tighten painfully on my shoulders, but I keep speaking, unable to stop myself. “Declan said he’d help. He doesn’t want to be his brother’s secretary. He doesn’t want to fulfill that damn contract that turns him into a breeding stud for his family. He wants to be free.”

  Pain twists his expression. “You’re running away with Declan?”

  “I don’t know!” I fist the curls on either side of my head, their fiery redness yet another reminder of my family. Lonette red, the same red as my father, grandmother, and all the generations of Lonettes who came before me, dating all the way back to when my ancestor crash landed our ship on this planet and stranded us here. “If I go, I lose you and Felix, but I can be free. If I stay, I can continue to be with you, but Felix and Declan are out of reach. And my father— He’ll break me. He’ll reprogram me until I’m just another copy of him. An emotionless robot whose only passion is for pow—”

  Connor’s lips cover mine, cutting off the flow of words. It shocks me back to my senses and realization sets in of all the secrets I revealed. Not just my own, but Declan’s, too.

  After a moment, I realize that, while Connor’s mouth presses against mine, it’s not actually a kiss, and I blink my eyes open to find him studying me.

  Whatever he sees must reassure him, because his head lifts, his thumbs sweeping over my damp cheeks. “Better.”

  “No.” My lips quiver, and I reach up to clutch his forearms. “I haven’t been better in a long time.”

  “I’m beginning to see that.” He glances to either side, then drops his hands to grasp mine. “Come on. We need to go somewhere more private.”

  He drags me farther down the alley between the two builds until we exit into the grassy expanse of lawn that separates the school from the administration building. At this angle, we stand closer to the glass dome, the black surface of the tarmac beyond shimmering with heat. The dual suns dri
ft toward the horizon, casting everything in orange light. Only up here do we see the real world we live in.

  Below, on the other levels of the city, the holo-sky displays images of the sky from Earth, or what our ancestors say the sky looked like. They’re just another fabrication of our world, a small way to pretend we still hold a link to our origins.

  Connor pulls me to sit with my back to the Entertainment Hall, then settles in front of me, the sun at his back creating a halo around his black hair. “Okay, let’s take this one piece at a time.”

  Hands folded in my lap, I nod.

  “First.” He takes a deep breath as if to prepare himself. “Do you want to leave Leton?”

  My pulse spikes. “I just told you—”

  He holds up a hand to cut me off. “Forget about me and Felix. Forget about Declan. Ignore your family’s expectations. If all of that disappeared, would you want to leave Leton?”

  “I...” Confused, my eyes drop to my hands.

  I’ve never thought of life here without my family directing my actions. Do I like Leton as a city?

  At last, I glance back up at Connor. “I’m not sure.”

  He nods in understanding. “How about this? What would you do in Roen?”

  That one is a little easier. “I wanted to attend the Rothvan school of Technology. They build disc-bikes, and I want to learn.”

  His brows furrow. “Can’t you do that in Leton? Not the school, but you can hire a private instructor and accelerate your learning.”

  “My father would never allow that,” I scoff.

  “In two years, you gain access to your family trust, and he has no say in what you do with the funds,” Connor points out. “What do you plan to do once you learn how to build disc-bikes?”

  Excitement trickles through me. I’ve never had anyone to talk about my dreams with, and my hands move to my knees as I lean forward. “I want to learn about the converter coils. They’re great technology, but they’re under-utilized right now. Imagine if that technology were applied to the lower levels where energy is rationed to keep everything running. With some modifications, they could power entire buildings, and they’re self-charging. As long as they’re active, they’ll continue to provide power.”

  “That’s a wonderful dream.” The admiration that fills Connor’s eyes dims. “But how could you implement such a large-scale change without your family’s clout to back you up? You’d have to petition the city council on whatever level you end up living on, who would then have to petition the next level up’s council, and so on. Even if your idea made it all the way to the top, without one of the Houses backing you, the chance you’d receive funding is slim. You’ve sat in on those meetings. You’ve heard them debate allocating resources to make living better on the lower levels. Advocating for the underprivileged isn’t a popular stance.”

  I deflate with every hole he pokes in my admittedly idealistic dreams. I’m aware of everything he points out, I just refused to think about it in my bid to get out from under my family’s thumb. “Yeah, it’s a silly idea.”

  “It’s not silly.” He grabs my hands, his eyes fierce. “It’s an amazing plan, but you need to think about the bigger picture. How do you make this dream a reality? Right now, you’re in a position that could see this through. You could help the citizens of Leton. If you leave, there’s still a chance, but the potential for success is so much greater if you stay.”

  “But my father—”

  Connor squeezes my hands. “He has to cede the council seat when you turn twenty-seven. After that, he’s just another advisor you can ignore.”

  The same way he ignores Grandmother. I don’t think they even have meetings anymore. The two butt heads over everything.

  Seeing my determination wavering, he presses on. “So, if you stay, you don’t think you can be with Felix or Declan. Why?”

  “Because they’ll be secretaries of lower Houses. It would cause a scandal that we might not survive.”

  “Says the woman who brought two secretaries to Mr. Blue’s reveal party,” he teases. “That went just fine. Only a flurry of rumors before the gossip mill moved on to juicier meat.”

  My eyes narrow on him. I hadn’t actually heard the rumors and wondered how he did, but I don’t ask. “Being caught with Felix or Declan would cause more than a flurry of rumors. If I take the council seat, I need the support of the other Houses or risk being voted out of the first position. If my morals are questioned—”

  “Then you make sure you have more dirt on them than they have on you.” One side of his mouth kicks up. “Who you’re bedding is very tame compared to what the other Houses are up to.”

  I blink in surprise. The way Father abhors emotion may have skewed my thought process when it comes to personal relationships. But do I want to live a life that requires I always have blackmail on hand to hold my position?

  His gaze grows serious. “What are you going to do about Nikola and Garrett? If you sign one of them, will you—”

  “No.” I keep my voice firm. “I won’t continue that tradition. It feels dirty. Like they don’t have a choice if they want to maintain their position. I can’t tolerate that.”

  “I don’t think they see it that way, but I understand.” His gaze drops. “I’m actually relieved. I feel selfish, but I don’t want your attention divided further. It’s enough I have to share you with Declan and Felix.”

  My heart constricts. “Does it bother you? The idea of me being with Declan and Felix?”

  “No.” He releases one of my hands to push a hand through his hair, mussing the usually tame locks. “It’s different with them. Declan is like a brother to me and Felix...” He reclaims my hand. “He needs someone like you.”

  “But he has Declan.” The quiet words barely cross the short distance between us, my self-doubt an anchor that tries to drown them. “Does he really need me?”

  “That’s something you’ll have to discover for yourself. I try to stay out of their relationship.” Connor winces. “It can get volatile, but they always cool down and make up later.”

  “Yeah, I can see that happening. Declan’s pretty strong-willed, and Felix...”

  “He hides a lot with his humor.” Connor’s head turns, his focus on the row of school buildings. “That’s why I cautioned you to be careful around him. Usually, when he slips too far off track, Declan’s there to pull him back. Even when Declan’s family took him out of school in his final years, he still found time to sneak out and meet up with us. This is the longest time he’s been absent.”

  “Tell me.” I tug on Connor’s hands to pull his focus back to me. “Tell me what happened to Felix.”

  “I can’t.” When I nod in acceptance, he stops me. “Not everything. I don’t know if he’s talked to anyone about it. Those Riellio mind specialists our parents sent him to tried to get the whole story, but Felix was resistant.” He smiles ruefully. “Above average willfulness, as his files say.”

  “Then tell me what you do know.”

  Connor’s gaze goes distant, focused somewhere outside the school. “Felix was always bright, and he had an aura about him that just drew people in. Charismatic, even as a child. Our parents were so proud. It was... easy to be forgotten in his shadow. I was the quieter one. I preferred experiments and reading over socializing.”

  I squeeze his hands to let him know I understand without disrupting the flow of his story. It’s easy to visualize, my fiery twin and my calm one. Two sides of a coin, opposite, but forming a whole.

  “Like all Council members, our parents were too busy to raise kids. We had a nanny.” He clears his throat. “Actually, we had a whole slew of nannies, but only the last stands out. Mrs. Porter. She was older than our parents, though not by much, and came with good recommendations. And she loved children. She loved Felix, and he loved the attention. She doted on him more than she should have and questioned our parent’s instructions on how to care for us. They grew concerned and started interviewing other nannies.”
His sharp gaze cuts to me. “It wouldn’t do for her to think she was actually part of the family.”

  I nod, all too familiar with that kind of belief. I had a nanny who hugged me and was immediately dismissed for unnecessary emotional displays.

  “Everything was kept very hush-hush. Gossip about the help making scenes when they were removed was the height of bad publicity at the time. So, our parents kept Mrs. Porter on while they lined up her replacement. She picked us up from school like normal, even took us to the sweet shop on the way home. Felix loved sweets even more back then, and she indulged him ceaselessly.”

  His tone takes on the cadence of someone having told the story numerous times before. “I didn’t like sweets as much, so she let me pick our booth while she took Felix to the counter for his treat. I was reading a book I snuck from the school library. A fun one, that wasn’t at all educational. My family wouldn’t have approved, and I felt rather clever for getting it past them.”

  His laugh lacks any form of humor. “I lost track of time, and it wasn’t until the shop was closing that I realized Mrs. Porter and Felix never came back from the counter.”

  I gasp in shock. Of everything I imagined, this had never crossed my mind. The children of councilors are under heavy surveillance when out in public, even when in the care of a trusted nanny. “How did your security not realize?”

  “Oh, Mrs. Porter was quite prepared. She was known to buy extra treats for them, and that day, they included a high level of LaRoche-25.” Bitterness fills his voice. “Our mom used it on a nightly basis for a good night’s sleep. Fast-acting, and tasteless, the designer sleep aid for the elite. A couple drops on top of a cream-puff and the guards never knew what hit them. They think that’s how she got Felix, too. Even at fourteen, he would have overpowered her otherwise. My parents were incensed, to say the least.”

  I scoot forward until my knees press against his shins, offering a second point of contact. “What happened wasn’t your fault.”