by Kat Brookes
“Take your call,” she said. “I’ll be fine.”
With a nod, he left and closed the door behind him.
Hannah turned to find the wall opposite to the one with all the posters on it filled with framed pictures. Most of them were of horses. Probably, if she had to guess, horses Garrett had either owned, still owned or had ridden in competition. It made her smile. The room was filled with the things that made him the happiest: his family and his horses.
She walked over to take a closer look at the photos. There were several of Garrett and his brothers, which looked to have been taken at various rodeos. A much larger family portrait hung in the center of the wall, one that looked to have been taken maybe ten years or so earlier. Emma had no streaks of silver in her coppery hair, and her sons had smooth, whisker-free faces with youthful grins, the spitting images of their father, who stood, beaming with pride, alongside his family.
A lone frame, one much smaller than the ones on the wall sat next to a mission-style lamp atop a table by the window. Hannah walked over, thinking it to be Autumn because of the woman’s lighter hair. But when she drew close enough to see the fine details of the photograph, she saw that it wasn’t a woman, but a girl probably about sixteen or so, with long, blond hair and a sweet smile.
Lifting the framed photo, she studied it closer. The girl was too old to be the daughter Emma and Grady had lost years before. It took only a moment longer for the realization to strike her. This was Grace. The girl Garrett had given his whole heart to.
A mix of emotions washed over her at that moment. Sadness for the beautiful, young girl who’d fought so hard to live and hadn’t. And shame, for feeling even the slightest bit of envy toward Grace because she had been so loved by Garrett. The depth of which Hannah had never known from her husband during their brief marriage.
The office door opened, and Hannah fumbled to return the picture to its place on the table. Then she spun around with a forced smile. “All done with your call?”
Garrett stood silent in the doorway, his gaze moving past her to the picture no longer sitting where it had been. Hannah felt as if she’d been caught doing something she shouldn’t have. But it wasn’t anger that filled his eyes as he crossed the room to stand beside her. It was pain. “Her name was Grace,” he said, looking down at the photo.
“I know,” she said softly.
His gaze snapped up to meet hers. “How? Did one of my brothers say something to you about her? Because it wasn’t their place to do so.”
“Autumn told me,” she admitted.
“Autumn?” he said. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised that she knew about Grace. There are no secrets between my brother and his wife. As it should be,” he conceded. “But why would she feel the need to share my past with you?”
“Please don’t be angry with her,” Hannah said, regret knotting up in her stomach. She hadn’t wanted to betray her new friend, but she couldn’t lie to Garrett either. “Autumn wants you and Jackson to find the same kind of happiness she and Tucker have found.”
“And that’s going to happen by her bringing up my past?” he asked stiffly.
“I don’t think she would have said anything about it if I hadn’t pressed her for the reason you and Jackson are so guarded with your hearts. I, for one, couldn’t imagine any woman wanting to break your heart. You’re one of the best men I’ve ever known. I had no idea the loss you had experienced had been so final.” A love he had carried with him all those years. Hannah couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to be loved so deeply by a man. By Garrett.
When no response came, Hannah went on, “I know I shouldn’t have asked. It wasn’t any of my business. But I care about you, Garrett. I want more than anything for you to be happy.”
“I can’t promise that I’ll ever open myself up to the kind of happiness you and Autumn want for me. And I’m good with that. It’s better than loving and... It’s just better,” he said, his voice raspy with emotion.
Her eyes filled with tears as Hannah reached up to tenderly place a hand on his tanned cheek. “Oh, Garrett,” she said sadly. “What it must have cost you to step foot into that hospital with me on that rainy day, and all the days since...” Her words trailed off.
“To be honest,” he said, his hand covering the one she had place against his cheek, “my past wasn’t what was front and foremost in my mind the second I stepped into the emergency room with you and your newborn son. All I knew was that I would not lose you, too, either of you, after promising you that everything would be all right.”
“Is that what happened with Grace?”
He looked to Grace’s picture. “Yes. That’s why I keep her picture there. As a reminder.”
“As a reminder of what?” she asked, searching his face.
He closed his eyes. “Of the lie I told her. Her father had taken me aside to tell me that she was dying, and to ask me to pray for her to find peace from her suffering. I couldn’t bring myself to pray. I was too angry at God for wanting to take Grace from us. Instead, I went into her hospital room to see her and told her that she was going to be okay. And then she died.”
“You didn’t lie to her,” Hannah told him, her heart aching for all that he had gone through. Watching his first love fade away, day by day, as the life slipped from her weakened body, knowing Grace had no more strength left in her to fight, and he would be there for her until the end.
Garrett opened his eyes to reveal the moisture that had gathered there. “I told her everything would be okay. She would be okay.”
“And she is,” Hannah said. “She is in a far better place than any of us. She’s no longer suffering. If you did anything, you gave Grace comfort when she needed it most. Because that’s the kind of man you are. I should know.”
To her surprise, Garrett drew her to him, hugging her tight. “Thank you, Hannah. You have been one of the biggest blessings in my life.”
She hugged him back, a tear slipping out to run down her cheek. “As you have been for me.”
Chapter Eight
Hannah’s heart skittered, as it always seemed to do whenever Garrett appeared. She watched as he rode toward the house the next day. The man sat as if he’d been born in the saddle, which, she supposed, he pretty much had been.
“Morning,” she greeted as he drew back on the reins, stopping next to the porch where Hannah was enjoying a cup of warm cider.
“Morning,” he replied, giving his cowboy hat a nudge. “I was on my way to help Jackson and Tucker clear away some of the storm debris that’s plugging up part of the creek and noticed you sitting out here on the porch. Figured I’d swing by and say hello.”
“I’m glad you did.” She found herself imagining what it would be like to be married to Garrett, waiting on their own porch to welcome her husband home every day. The image seemed so clear in her mind, unlike something her wishful thinking might have conjured up.
He looked toward the house. “Mom and Dad up yet?”
“I don’t think so,” she said, shaking her head.
“Ah, the benefits of retirement.” He rounded the porch and ascended the steps. “You’re up earlier than usual, aren’t you?”
“A little. I wanted to see the sunrise,” she admitted with a smile. “And I have to say it didn’t disappoint. The warm, vibrant shades of red and gold the rising sun casts across the land and distant mountains are beyond breathtaking.”
“You should see it in the deep of winter,” he told her. “When the colors of dawn glisten off the freshly fallen snow.” He raised up in the saddle and then swung his leg over the back of his horse, before dropping to the ground below. “So is that the only reason you’re up this early?” he asked as he wrapped his horse’s reins around the railing and then stepped up onto the porch.
She smiled up at him from the chair she was seated in. “Are you implying that I was sitting out he
re watching for you?” And how close to the truth that would be.
“Can’t blame a man for doing a little wishful thinking,” he replied with a teasing grin as he settled into the white wicker porch chair next to hers.
Hannah looked out across the yard. “I might have been hoping for a glimpse of you riding up to the barn.” She didn’t have to see Garrett’s face to know that his smile widened with her admission. “Or,” she continued, shifting her attention back to the cowboy beside her, “I might have been hoping to catch a glimpse of that very handsome horse of yours.”
“Something tells me I’m not going to find out which it is.”
She laughed. “You’re probably right.”
“Maybe I can weaken your resolve by using my cowboy charm on you,” he said with a playful wriggle of his brows.
Hannah laughed softly, despite the butterflies his words had set to fluttering in her stomach. “Now you’re not fighting fair.” She leaned her head back against the wicker chair. “What I’d really like is to know more about you and your family.”
He stretched out his long, denim-clad legs as he eased back in the chair next to hers and tucked his hands behind his head. “Ask away.”
She liked that about Garrett. He was always so honest and open with her. “Jackson left the rodeo because of his injury,” she began.
Garrett nodded.
“Was it the same for you and Tucker? Injuries forcing you out?”
“No,” he said, shaking his head. “He and I left on our own terms. Truth is, Tucker sort of lost his spark for competing on the circuit after his marriage to Autumn’s sister fell apart. Not that anyone realized why at the time since he kept his marriage from us. But looking back, knowing what we do now, it all makes sense. I think his focus was consumed by questions he had no answers to, and a loss of focus when riding can be dangerous for both the rider and the animal.”
“I can only imagine.”
“Would you mind my asking about your sister? That is, unless it’s too hard for you to talk about her.”
“I don’t mind,” she told him. She didn’t want to set her memories of her sister aside. Being able to talk about them, even though it could be hard emotionally, kept her sister alive in her heart. “Heather was older than me, but only by two years, so we were pretty close. She was the athlete in our family, running track, even in college. I was more gifted on the academic side. Not that I didn’t like sports. I played tennis and I liked to swim, just not competitively.”
“Unlike my brothers and myself, who lived for the competition,” he said with a grin.
“There are times I find myself reaching for the phone to call her,” she admitted with a frown.
“I’m sure you do,” he said. “She hasn’t been gone that long.”
Not long, but far too long. “What about you? What made you decide to retire from riding,” she asked, her gazed now fixed on him.
“My career,” he answered. “I didn’t ride at the same competitive level my brothers did, entering only local rodeos while pursuing my degree in veterinary medicine. After graduation, when I opened my own practice, I gave it up altogether.”
“Too busy with work?”
“Too concerned I might not be able to work,” he told her. “The possibility of getting bucked and breaking an arm wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. I’d worked too long, and too hard, to get my degree to throw it all away. I was done. Or so I’d thought. But then I ended up following the rodeo circuit anyway when my brothers and I went into the rodeo stock contracting business, Tucker and Jackson training the horses, and me seeing to any medical issues that might arise with the horses here at the ranch or when we are attending scheduled rodeos.”
“I’d imagine it’s a big plus to have an on-site vet.”
“It definitely saves us money,” he agreed.
“Your parents have to be so proud of what you and your brothers have accomplished,” Hannah said with a soft smile.
“They are,” Garrett said, his parents having told them as much more times than he could count. “I still wish we could’ve talked Dad into joining us in our venture, but he wanted to spend his golden years focusing on Mom and their life together.”
“That’s so romantic,” she sighed, wondering if she would ever be so blessed as to have the kind of life, the kind of love, that her parents and Garrett’s parents had shared. Would Garrett ever want that for himself?
He chuckled. “I suppose so.”
“It is,” she insisted, laughing softly.
“I’m not sure romance had anything to do with it,” Garrett said. “I think it was more Dad’s way of doing the right thing. Mom stood by him during all the years he rode rodeo, supporting him completely. When he retired, he decided it was his turn to do for her. Not that he doesn’t lend a hand when we need it. For example, he’ll be going on the road this rodeo season to cover for Tucker who will be staying in Bent Creek to care for Blue and oversee things here at the ranch.”
“And your mom’s okay with his leaving?”
“She’ll be going with him,” Garrett explained. “My parents recently purchased an RV to take trips in, so they’ll be able to travel together while lending Jackson and myself a hand at the different rodeos we’ve contracted for this coming season. Mom can’t wait to hit the road again. The only thing giving her hesitation is the thought of being away from Blue for so long, but Tucker and Autumn are going to try to bring Blue to a rodeo or two, which helped ease Mom’s guilt over leaving her new granddaughter for most of the summer.”
“Who will see to the ranch when everyone’s gone?”
“We have part-time ranch hands who we trust to see to things while we’re all away.” He looked to her in surprise. “You know, I have to admit I never expected to be having this conversation with you.”
“Why ever not?”
“You said yourself that you had never been to a rodeo,” he explained. “I didn’t think the aspects of my family’s business would really interest you.”
“I may never have been to any shows,” she said, “but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t want to go to one. The opportunity just never arose for me to do so.”
Her words took him by surprise. “You’d like to go to a rodeo?”
“Yes. Not that it’s going to happen anytime in the near future,” Hannah said, looking off toward the distant mountains. “But after hearing so much about it from you and your family, my interest is most definitely piqued. Maybe when Austin is older we can go to one.”
“I’m sure he’ll like that,” he said, hating the thought of her having to go it alone when it came to raising her son. “My brothers and I grew up going to rodeos. Dad competed in them until I was twelve or so, so we’d go to watch him.”
“That had to be so exciting.”
He nodded with a grin as he recalled the special times he’d shared with his family. Times that he as a young boy had taken for granted.
“It was,” Garrett replied. “My brothers and I used to love watching Dad ride. We couldn’t wait until we were old enough to sit atop a bucking horse ourselves, or in Jackson’s case a bucking bull, and compete. Not that Dad didn’t get us involved in other activities when we were growing up, like fishing and camping.”
Hannah looked his way, something bordering on panic etched in her pretty face. “Garrett, I don’t know how to fish or build a campfire. Or any of those things dads usually do with their sons.”
“There is no set rule saying all boys have to know how to fish or set up camp,” he told her, wanting to ease some of Hannah’s worry. She had enough on her mind as it was.
“But most boys do,” she argued, fretting her lower lip.
Most did where he was from, but that was the norm in the area he had grown up in. “I could teach him.” The offer was out before he considered the impossibility of it. They would be livin
g in two different states.
“You?” she said, some of that sparkle coming back into those beautiful green eyes of hers.
He should have rescinded his offer with an apology for getting her hopes up, reminding her of their geographical differences. He should have suggested that Austin wouldn’t be ready for fishing or camping for several more years yet, and that by then she would probably have someone special in her life. A man who would appreciate the wonderful, loving woman she was. A man willing to step in for the father Austin had so tragically lost and give Hannah more children. The ones she’d been denied in her first marriage.
“If you’d like,” he said instead, promptly shoving aside any thought of the man Hannah would someday give her heart to. And her smile. And her precious son. The boy she’d so trustingly placed in his arms right after he’d come into this world. It shouldn’t bother him, Garrett thought, guilt jabbing at his gut. If anything, he should pray for the Lord to grant her the happiness she deserved. But the problem was he wanted to be the man to give her that happiness.
“I can’t think of anyone I feel more comfortable with than you when it comes to being there for my son. But I can’t ask that of you.”
His smile sagged. “Why not?”
“Because that time is years away,” she explained. “You’ll be busy with a family of your own by the time Austin is ready to learn all of those things.”
He shook his head. “Marriage isn’t in my future.”
She reached out, covering his hand with hers, saying softly, “Because of Grace?”
“That’s part of it,” he said, his gaze on their joined hands.
“You don’t want children?” she asked, her expression troubled.
He hesitated a long moment before answering. “I’m not able to have children,” he admitted. “That’s pretty much what marriages are for.”
