Breathe

by N. M. Catalano

  This is when all hell breaks loose.

  I spin and kick him in the side of the head. He goes down.

  “What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” Prez yells.

  Hawk’s grabbed the man who had Raven’s money and has him in a head lock. He’s killing him slowly, but any minute Hawk could snap his neck.

  Raven’s already got her dagger in hand, she’s crouched low and ready to strike.

  That’s my hellion!

  Rock and Gringo pound on four of the Steel Brothers as three more come at me. Machine gunning the three guys moving on me with blows and kicks, they stagger backwards. I can tell they’re dazed. It buys me a minute to assess what’s going on. The president is standing back with a look of fury on his face. But his hands are empty. The vice president is on the ground, but he’s not out. He’s reaching for his gun.

  “She’s coming with me,” the vice president snarls. He’s talking about Summer.

  Hawk smashes his head into the cement with a loud crunch. It’s not enough to kill him, but there is blood and he’s out cold. He’s still holding the man in a suffocating chokehold.

  “Fucking bitch, see what you’ve done!” Bat Boy yells as he lunges for Raven with his gun pointed right at her.

  “Fuck you,” she hisses as she moves to attack him.

  “RAVEN, STOP!” I yell.

  I’m too far away to land a blow that will stop Bat Boy, so I jump between them.

  I hear two things at the same time.

  “KILL HIM,” Prez shouts.

  And a gun shot.

  Searing, fiery pain radiates from my chest throughout my body. My breathing stalls, it’s like a fire brand being shoved into my chest every time I take a breath. Blackness fills my vision as I hit the ground.

  “NOOOOOOOOOO!” It’s Raven. She’s in pain.

  Please, let her be okay, she’s GOT to be okay!! Don’t let my death be for nothing…

  I can’t see, I can’t speak. With my last vestiges of coherency, I will my body to move, to fight, to do something.

  But I can’t.

  Something is pushing on my chest, it hurts, it hurts so fucking much!

  “Breathe, goddamn it! Just BREATHE!” my hellion commands.

  Then there’s nothing.

  EPILOGUE

  Raven

  Breath.

  So pure, so essential, the very essence of our existence. We take it for granted.

  I stopped breathing the instant the bullet hit Snake. I felt the searing pain as the metal pierced his skin. I wanted to die with him. I didn’t deserve to take another breath; I couldn’t live if he died. Especially because of me. I screamed because I wanted to be the one to have the breaths ripped from my body, to never again have the privilege of taking another breath.

  Snake had believed in me. He’d been my knight in shining armor, that beautiful tattooed armor that held the purest heart and the most beautiful soul.

  Why? For the life of me, (how ironic that is), I will never know why he did that. I was bad, my heart was black, my soul was filthy. I was beyond redemption, I was a curse that he’d welcomed into his life, into his circle, his family, I was the stain that would mar the beauty and the sacredness of all that they had.

  He wanted to save me.

  He did.

  The instant he was shot, I hated him for it.

  I hated him because I didn’t deserve it. I’d wanted to hit him, scream at him, grab him by the shirt and shake him. Yell in his face, “I’m not worth it! Don’t you see?! I’m bad, I’m beyond hope, there is no salvation for me!”

  I knew, I knew from the depths of my soul that heaven would welcome him, that they’d hold a place especially for him, because he was good, he was everything, he was selfless, and it was because of me that this world would be robbed of his goodness. It was too soon; it wasn’t his time. I should have been shot, I was the one the bullet was meant for. That bullet was marked for me, it had my name on it, the Queen Of Hell, and they were waiting for me, eager to welcome me in their bloody clutches, the fires were already burning and waiting for me to arrive. I could smell the fire and brimstone; it was in the acrid smell of sulfur from the gunshot. My own special invitation inscribed by Satan’s own hand.

  I will live with that for the rest of my life.

  Today the weather is cool. The wind is whipping my black hair around my face as I stare out at the fields. It feels good on my skin, it’s fresh as I breathe it into my lungs and take it deep inside. It makes me feel alive.

  “Angel,” Snake says from where he’s doing his morning ritual in the middle of a clearing, Tai Chi today.

  My heart lurches every time I hear him. It wants to explode with gratitude and all the love I have for him.

  That day in the garage, so many things were revealed.

  Snake had finalized the deal for me, although none of us had known about it. The message he’d received was from the president telling him to meet him to take care of everything.

  One of the other contracts besides Hawk.

  The president of the Steel Brothers had said, ‘We take care of our own.’ What he was talking about was his entire club. His vice president had betrayed him, he had put everyone else in danger, so he was going to pay the price. He ordered his men to take the shot, and it was done. But not before things went to hell.

  Rock and Snake had been right about Hawk. Hawk had walked away from the contract. He’d done his own investigating and had found out about the vice president having one of the other contracts as well. That’s why he was there. Hawk had worked something out with Prez and was present for Snake, for us. Snake wasn’t aware of the arrangement between the president and Hawk before the meet, but he saw Hawk’s tell, his twitch, that was all he needed.

  Snake hadn’t anticipated that Hawk would notify Rock of the meeting. When Hawk had let Rock know that something was going to happen, at that time, he wasn’t aware of the time and location. At that point, he still didn’t know about the vice president and his contract. It wasn’t until later that he’d found out. It was too late to tell Rock and too late to tell him of the meeting location. He didn’t have to. Gringo had that all taken care of.

  Gringo had been watching the entire hotel compound. That’s how Rock knew where Snake had gone. The feed went straight to Gringo’s phone and to his laptop. By the time we’d realized Snake had left, Gringo was already following Snake’s every move on camera. We saw Snake emerge from the elevator.

  It turned out Prez has a warped sense of humor, imagine that. He asked Joey to be present so he could watch Snake give him what he deserved. The president knew there would be heat if Joey’s bosses had found out about the deal Joey was trying to make. If Prez had followed through with it, knowing the mob was being left out, there would have been consequences for the Steel Brothers. A traitor is a traitor, no matter whose side they’re on. Snake didn’t see it, but I shoved my blade into his fucking heart. Not for me, but for Snake. The Steel Brothers took care of him after that.

  Nobody likes a snitch.

  Maybe the greatest thing was the elimination of one of the contracts. We still don’t know who else is out there.

  “Come here, let me move your body with mine.”

  God, this man owns me.

  I walk slowly to him as I let the shawl slip from my shoulders and it flutters to the ground. I love to watch him out here as the sun comes up, his body moving in perfect fluidity. This is home, our nirvana. We built a house next door to Rock and Summer, because we all belong together. Sometimes Snake does yoga, today it’s Tai Chi. Others he’s beating the shit out of some unseen opponent, probably his demons, and maybe mine, as he kicks, lunges, punches, thrusts, his voice carrying on the wind. He mesmerizes me and I’m in awe of him.

  Snake is one of those people who is bigger than life. His soul is so big, so massive, it surrounds everything in its intensity and its power, lighting it up from a force within him.

  He did save me.

  He s
aved my heart and my body, and he ripped my soul from eternal damnation.

  I will spend the rest of my days trying to deserve it.

  He’s looking at me with his hand stretched out with that look and that smile, his personal weapon that will always slay me. It melts me every time.

  “What’s my little hellion thinking?” he asks as I place my hand in his.

  There will always be a part of me that’s bad, just like there is in him, but he's the best man I have ever known. His Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde to my fallen angel. They live peacefully with the good, like yin and yang, a balance of good and evil, a necessity to fight the demons out for our blood.

  His hand is warm and there’s a sheen of sweat on his skin. The scar from the gunshot on his back will never go away, it’s deep and severe. It’s a part of him, and it’s beautiful. Because he got it because of love.

  “I’m thinking how much I like how you move my body.”

  There’s a glimmer of both Jekyll and Hyde in his eyes and it calls to my darkness. “Then move with me, little bird. Let me take you to a place where we can fly.”

  Everything within me quivers. No one can make me fly, only him, it's only ever been him. I know we’re going to soar.

  He pulls my back to his front, the length of me pressed firmly to the entirety of his frame, I can feel every ridge of his bare chest against me. His palms slide down my arms and encircle my wrists, his legs right behind mine. Then he starts to move.

  We dance the steps of this ancient ritual, smooth and graceful, flowing in constancy. It’s perfection being in his arms, against his body, his breath caressing my skin, his heat penetrating me. He was right. As he moves my arms, twists my body, his hands in complete control of me, I let go and we fly together.

  I died that day when Snake got shot. My heart exploded and the world went black and blood red. Hell had come for me demanding that my debt be paid, and Satan was going to take Snake as my toll. Nothing less than what was most important and precious to me would do. But Snake was stronger, he opened his eyes, looked the devil right in his red fiery eyes and told him to go fuck himself. He was mine, I was his, and no one or nothing was going to come between us.

  As we move together in front of God and the early morning sun, Snake begins to pull the clothes from my body. Piece by piece he strips me of everything, my fear with the shirt, my anger with my pants, my despair with the bra, my loneliness with the panties. All that's left when I'm completely naked against him is my vulnerability, my love, my need, and my longing. I offer these all to him, wrapped up in more love than I ever thought I was capable of. What he gives me is his strength, his devotion, his adoration. But what we give to each other is something so pure, it transcends anything human. Sometimes it's raw and primitive, but not now. Now it's reverent and intense.

  His hands stroke my flesh, his lips graze mine, his hardness presses into my back. I'm high on him, his touch, and the way he works my body. It's magic. He grips both my nipples between his fingers and pinches as his shaft slips between my parted legs. My head tilts back and I moan. Still moving me to each stance as old as time itself, his hardness glides along my slit sending shock waves throughout my body blending with the heady euphoria of what we're doing. Back and forth over my wetness, each glide sends me higher and higher.

  "Fly, little bird, fly," he whispers against my ear.

  His warmth breath sends a wave of heat straight to my core.

  Lifting both of my arms straight above my head, he presses my palms together in a sun salutation. The big orange ball has just crested over the trees lighting the sky in golds and silver. His hands slide down my arms, over my breasts, over my naked stomach, until they come to cup my mound. I tremble. With one hand, he spreads my lips and exposes my clit. The breeze licks the sensitive nub and sends another shiver through me. With the other hand, he begins to draw slow circles around that pulsating center. My entire body is vibrating on high frequency.

  "Soar, angel, soar," comes his rough voice.

  I'm neither here nor there, we're not bodies but energy. My entire being is sizzling, every touch, every whisper, every single thing ignites another jolt inside me.

  When he makes contact with my clit, I burst. My body goes rigid as the white heat rolls through me and lights me up.

  "Snake," I whisper.

  "Ssshhhh, we're not done yet, hellion. I'm going to show you heaven."

  I know he can.

  He lowers to the ground and pulls me down with him. The grass is moist and chilly from the morning dew on our hot bodies. He lays back and guides me on top of him. Again, he slides his hands down my arms until our open palms are against each other, and he kisses me, slow and languidly. With my bare breasts against his hard chest, I begin to rub the length of my body against his. It's so intimate, our bodies claiming each other, possessing each other, devouring each other. We're touching completely but without hands. It's slow at first, our hearts pounding together, his flesh on mine, our hands moving in circles, Snake guiding me with just the palm of his hands on mine. My mind begins to swirl into this cosmic space, our breathing heavy and deep. My loins are clenching harder and harder, my heart thudding louder and faster. He guides me up so my breasts are at his mouth. Still not using his hands, he sucks one swollen nipple into his mouth, then the other, sucking it deep and licking it with his tongue roughly. A fire explodes inside of me, and sets off an orgasm that rips through me from just that contact. I moan long and deep, my head thrown back and my sex pulsing madly against his stomach.

  "Oh, my God," I groan.

  "He's coming, hellion," he growls.

  I can't think, I can't speak, I can only feel, and move, and lick, and bite, and taste.

  Snake slides his hands and slips his fingers through mine to clasp both of my hands. He guides me down, I'm so wet, I move freely down his abdomen until the smooth swollen crown of his cock is at my opening.

  Yes, yes, yes!

  I lean down so I'm laying on top of him, opening myself up to take him in. When he slips inside, I lean up to seat him completely inside of me.

  With my hands clasped in his, his intense stare fixed on me, he whispers, "Breathe, baby, take me inside you."

  I do. I focus on my breaths, each one stroking me as it enters. And with each one, I feel Snake filling me, consuming me, in each beat of my heart, running through my veins, and possessing me completely.

  "Now, little bird, take us to heaven."

  I grind myself on him, back and forth, forward and back, round and round, his thickness filling me up, my heat consuming him. I ride him. Slowly at first, leisurely, the trip to heaven should be enjoyed, cherished, not rushed.

  We're breathing heavily, lost in each other, in what we have, and in this moment. The buildup is slow and perfect, like a cyclone, immense and constant. But when it hits, it's total annihilation.

  I scream, Snake roars, and our sounds fill the air and travel straight from our mouths to heaven.

  I collapse on top of him, and he wraps me in his arms. Our breaths come in unison, heavy and content.

  This, what we just experienced, was transcendental.

  I love the other stuff too. I love when he comes all over my face or my tits, when he slaps my ass and calls me a dirty little whore, I love when Summer and I have our faces buried between each other’s thighs making each other scream, and when Rock and Snake fuck me together, I love all of it.

  But this, this was a communion of worship.

  "Forever, angel, you and me. I will always find you," he says quietly, his voice vibrating in his chest against my ear.

  I believe him. Because there is more to this, to us, to everything we will ever know.

  Because Snake is my savior and I am his angel.

  It’s Not The End

  Keep going, there’s more…

  Something to tell you what’s coming.

  (A letter to the men at the tattoo shop)

  WARNING

  Gentlemen, now that I have your atten
tion.

  You’re making this quite the interesting game.

  I must say I’m intrigued with the other additions.

  I might just have to…

  Take

  Them

  All.

  Get the next book TORTURED right here!!

  Keep going for a peek. Shit’s gonna hit the fan,

  I promise.

  Tortured

  ""Tortured" is NOT your run of the mill romance... Hell No! It's sizzling hot to a point of INFERNO... you have been warned... PROCEED WITH CAUTION! N.M. Catalano does not do light romance... definitely NOT her M.O.! She will grip all your senses and thrust passion with so much force you will be gasping for air! She lives up to her reputation as the Queen Of Erotica..." Pauline, Passionate About Books Blog

  "Beautiful, brilliant, an absolute masterpiece of writing. I cannot wait for more of the program series. This book tortured my soul and kept me wanting more!" Nicole, Amazon Reviewer

  "This overarching story has been building from Page 1 of Canvas. The tension is building and the pieces are starting to fit into place. The writing ... N.M Catalano you are amazing!" Cat, Amazon Reviewer

  SYNOPSIS

  They say I have demons.

  They’re right.

  They say I’m dangerous.

  They’re right about that. The four of us, that’s what we do.

  They say I have no emotions.

  I wish.

  I feel everything, maybe more than you.

  They said I shouldn’t fall in love with a married woman.

  They’re right about that, too. It wasn’t part of the assignment.

  But I did.

  Now they want her.

  My demons are going to destroy them.

  There once was a girl who believed in fairytales.

  They all came true.

  With contracts and lies and deceit.