Wilderness Untamed

by Butler, J. M.

  His expression remained perplexed as he lifted his shoulders slightly. "I suppose so. I haven't thought about it like that. Why are you blushing about this? What—" He broke off as if the pieces had suddenly come together. "Oh." Trying unsuccessfully to hide a laugh, he ducked his head. "You mean one mood change in particular."

  "So you do?" She covered her eyes. "All Vawtrians do?"

  "If you mean do we all know that you find Naatos sexually desirable and have been getting increasingly aroused? Yes."

  She kept her eyes covered. "I should have known."

  "Why are you so embarrassed?" He chuckled as he returned in front of her. "Amelia."

  She pushed him back. "I recognize that it is a normal part of life and that there is no reason to be embarrassed. But I also feel like I've been walking around naked."

  "Another thing which does not bother Vawtrians." He chucked her under the chin. "It really isn't anything to even be a little embarrassed about. You are supposed to be attracted to your veskare. You should be drowning in happiness hormones. And, trust me, little sister, if you could smell things as well as we do and wanted to make observations on it, you would realize that there are always about ten or fifteen other things that are far more intriguing. Sometimes even more. It's quite common for couples to feel that way around one another. Besides, you're a mindreader. You are aware of all of our moods and could potentially be stealing peeks inside our minds. Is this really that much different?"

  Shrugging, she had to concede. "I suppose not." Smell just seemed a lot more personal.

  "The only real action any of us take is when things reach a certain peak, we all leave the couple to themselves. Because sometimes the mood takes you, and you can't think clearly enough to find your way to somewhere private. So others who can think are able to handle that."

  "Wanting to vestov makes Vawtrians dumb?" Naatos had mentioned it was harder to think.

  "I'm surprised you even have to ask. It doesn't do much for Neyeb either. You're ready to go jump off a cliff."

  "I'm about to scratch my elmis off too." She shook her head.

  "Well don't do that. I remember what you were like without your elmis, and I am not in a hurry to meet that Amelia again."

  "I don't ever want to be that Amelia again." The shudder that cut through her reminded her of a nightmare she couldn't recall. That dampened her spirits even more.

  "It's going to get better. You two are meant to be together."

  "Naatos told me about soul mates."

  WroOth chuckled. "He probably told you that there are multiples."

  "He did." She glanced at him sidelong. "I take it you don't agree."

  "Not at all. Though really no one in this family agrees on it. Naatos believes that there are multiples. QueQoa doesn't believe fate or predestination or anything divine is involved at all. Just chance. Really that's only because you can't outrun fate. And AaQar believes it's all fate. You can try to fight, but unless you can fight a god and upend him entirely, you probably won't make a long-term difference unless you can convince him your way is better, and he rewrites fate for you. As for me, well, I believe that there is something like what Naatos calls soul mates in the general sense. But I disagree with most of the rest."

  "You don't like the idea that no spell or incantation or connection can be formed if there isn't a corresponding spark already present?"

  "Oh that is a law. It is true. It would take something exceptionally powerful to override that. No. What I don't like is the idea that just because you can lock with someone means that they are your soul mate. I think it's just the spark that makes it so that you can lock. Maybe a stronger spark or something that distinguishes it. But I think there is only one soul mate. For me, that was Mara. She is mine, and I am hers. And there's definitely something more at play."

  She thought of that book Naatos had mentioned as well as the enchantress with her matchmaking. "Did you feel like you had a choice with Mara?"

  "Hmmm." He tilted his head. "Perhaps that's not the best way to describe it. When I met her, it was more… well, I suppose I felt more of a choice with others where I was aware of some measure of compatibility."

  "You were compatible with others before Mara?" That startled her more than anything that was revealed.

  "I did. I can't explain it fully. They were more like gut instincts. Pinpricks of awareness. That we were compatible. That if I chose to, I could lock. But something always held me back. Then I found Mara. I didn't feel it with her at first. But there was another feeling. A compulsion. I needed to be close to her. I needed to be near her. I needed to know she was safe. Even before it was sexual. In a sense, the way she started the relationship was the worst way she could have. She tried to kiss me in the hopes of locking with me. That's actually rather offensive to Vawtrians. But—I wasn't angry with her. Not really. And I didn't hold it against her."

  He pushed a large branch back and eyed a mantis that drew farther away, the rels providing a comforting barrier. "What's intriguing is that it almost didn't go that way. Naatos was going to go into that shop to handle the order. He usually did. And… it seemed so ordinary. I didn't even realize it. She would have tried to kiss him, and that would not have gone well. But he is also far softer in the heart than he'd like most to know. Especially back in those days. The whole reason he was guarded against Mara and didn't like her initially was because they thought she was trying to take advantage of me. AaQar felt the same way. But if Naatos had been the one to go in there as he had intended, he would have figured out what was going on sooner than I. And he probably would have found some other way to help. Which means there would have been no reason for me to step in. At all. And that was such a small decision. No weight to it whatsoever. But it changed my life."

  He glanced at her, grinning. "Anyway all that to say, look at you and Naatos. Technically, Neyeb are the most compatible with others regardless of what they say. But just because one is compatible doesn't mean a relationship is guaranteed to be good. For a time, some thought that they could work against that law. But Sinara told us that it's just that Neyeb are good at finding sparks of a spark and making it stronger."

  "So Naatos and I had that? They could tell? He said that it was necessary or else I'd be executed. What would have happened if we weren't?"

  "If you hadn't been compatible, they would have still bound you because what he was doing was essentially swearing to be responsible for your life and end you if you got out of control. But… it would have been a different kind of relationship. I'm not fully sure I understand what that would look like. But Sinara was surprised to find that it actually wasn't an issue. Or so she said."

  "You don't trust her?"

  His brow tweaked. For a moment, he remained silent, pushing back branches and stepping over plants. When he at last spoke, he chose his words with particular care. "Sinara was a remarkable woman. I knew her better than most of the other Neyeb, and she genuinely seemed fond of our family. But she kept her own counsel and had her own priorities. Not that that is surprising for any leader. There are just things that bother me. Like how she didn't know you had a mind shade inside you. Or that you were hollowed out to take the skills and leave behind the curse. That's more than mere trauma. Mark this, little sister. Most people out there have a game they are playing. The sooner you figure out what it is, the better. Then you can decide if you want to play, subvert, or throw the board and start fresh. I never determined what her game was." He shook his head. "Anyway you keep distracting me."

  "It doesn't take that much effort to distract you, WroOth." She ducked to avoid a broad leaf that swept in her face.

  "Look at everything that has tried to keep you and Naatos apart or that has tried to ruin your relationship. Including the pair of you. Even the way that the locking happened."

  "What do you mean?"

  "Well," he chuckled. "You felled him with one kiss you didn't even grant willingly. That's actually a bit of an embarrassment for him. But it's also an ind
ication of how strong the connection is. Mara and I had an exceptional bond, and we locked swiftly. But it still took several long and pleasant kisses before it came together. Don't misunderstand me. We enjoyed every second of it. But the bond between you and Naatos was so strong that if you had kissed him, he would have locked with you instantaneously. The only reason it took as long as it did is because you were unreceptive, and he tried to avoid further contact with you. For all the good that did. Really you should consider gloating on that point."

  "I don't feel like Naatos is a good person to gloat around."

  He laughed, almost giggled. "That is exactly why he's the perfect choice. But truly, all of those signs and more, I think it's obvious that someone wanted this to happen. There is far more at work here than what we see."

  "Elonumato?" If that was the case for her, she appreciated the prophecies even less. How hard would it have been to give her a warning? She recalled her time speaking with Leonas, Elonumato's ambassador. He could have told her. He could have told her a lot of things.

  "Maybe. Sometimes I think he's a romantic, but not a true one or else he wouldn't let it end so badly for some. If it's not Elonumato, then perhaps something else. Who knows? But you and Naatos are supposed to be together. You were always going to be part of this family."

  "Is it ever strange for you? The fact that you knew me when I was small?"

  "No." He gave her a quizzical expression. "I'm nearly a thousand, dear heart. Do you know how many people I knew as infants who grew up? It's the way of it. I vastly prefer it when they do grow up. It's sad otherwise. You'll experience it too though. As a Neyeb, you'd live just as long as a Vawtrian even without being bonded to Naatos."

  She twitched her shoulders. Another reminder that they were going to find a way off this world. Aside from the astronomically infuriating state of having certain needs unmet, this place was one she would not mind staying in for a long time. It was simple here. Even with the creatures. She didn't have to worry about Naatos going off and killing anyone for the greater good, and she didn't have to worry about politics either.

  That would change.

  She wasn't ready. But she didn't have to be.

  "And here we are." WroOth spread his arms as the trees abruptly stopped. There was relatively little soil and rock before the ground broke away into a sheer drop that emptied out hundreds of feet below.

  Amelia frowned as she peered out over the side. The fog obscured the ground below, but spires of rock protruded up from the mist. "I'm actually surprised it took us as long as it did to find a decent cliff."

  "We're about five days out from the mountains. There are lots of places to throw people off up there. There are lots more there we can use to get you used to this sort of thing." He grinned. "So, are you ready for me to throw you?"

  She grabbed hold of a branch and leaned out and looked around. "You're not throwing me yet."

  "You want time to acclimate?" WroOth asked.

  "I want to jump. Throwing won't be so bad after that."

  He folded his arms, looking from the steep drop back to her. "That is over a thousand-foot drop, little sister." His skeptical expression suggested this wasn't the way it normally went.

  "So it is." She drew in a deep breath. "The rels will keep a predator from swooping in?"

  "Yes, and I'll keep watch and grab you before you hit the ground. For these first few times, you focus on keeping your body straight and your breathing steady. Lots of deep breaths. Even more now. If you find it hard to breathe with the wind in your face, you cup your hands over your face. You'll get used to it with practice, but it's tough the first few times. Sometimes the first few hundred. The whole point of this is to train yourself to remain calm while falling and learn to make the most of your descent. I've seen far too many injured even in a simple rescue because they tensed up so hard that they could barely comprehend they'd been saved, let alone take advantage of the fall."

  "All right." She nodded. Falling was easy. The jumping—she could do this.

  She'd sent that dream to Naatos in explicit detail in every sense of the word. And tonight when she went to sleep, there was a more than decent chance that she was going to do the same. Heat flared up through her as she remembered the way he looked at her both in the dream and waking. That dream might not have felt as real as the real Naatos but it certainly nailed his looks and manner.

  "Are you sure you can do this?" WroOth leaned closer. "There's no shame in—"

  She jumped.

  The air rushed up around her, chilling and biting. Her stomach left, and there was nothing. Nothing at all except the rush and roar.

  Oh this was good. Cleansing even! The adrenaline and blood roared in her ears, surging through her like a flood and carrying with it all the tension and strain of these past days. The fog and rocks rushed up at her.

  A large claw seized her and hauled her up. Within seconds, she was back at the top of the cliff. WroOth released her and then returned to his state of rest, dropping to the ground. "All right then." He straightened, his turquoise eyes sharp. Annoyance bristled off him. "We're going to have a little rule setting. You don't go jumping off cliffs in our training until you've confirmed I'm ready to catch you."

  She frowned as she smoothed her hair back. "You were standing right here."

  "Usually there's a little more hesitation before someone jumps! Do you know how fast the average person falls? I had seconds to catch you!"

  "And you did." She smiled at him. "You're good at this."

  "I'm excellent at this, but don't do that—"

  "Are you still able to shift?"

  "Yes, of course I am." He shook his head as if that were a ridiculous question.

  "And are you okay with doing more?"

  "Yes. We didn't come here for just one jump."

  "Good. Because I'm going again." She turned back to the cliff face and leaped off.

  "Shrieking moons, woman!" He shouted after her. "I should just let you fall." He darted down after her, seized her, and dragged her back up. The slim red dragon form fell away as soon as he dropped her. His boots struck the ground hard as he landed. "Are you enjoying this?" he demanded.

  "Actually yes." This was different from the spiking surge of adrenaline when an animal attacked. This was—this was incredible.

  He shook his head, still gripping her arm. "Fine. Just answer me this. What makes this so different from us throwing you? You threw an absolute fit."

  She laughed. "You can't see the difference?" Stepping back to the edge, she shrugged. "I agreed to this."

  "You're a ridiculous creature—you're going to jump again, aren't you?"

  "Maybe." She leaped off again.

  "You are ridiculous," WroOth called after her.

  His words vanished in the bellows of the wind and the delightful lift and falling sensation as the fog and stones rushed up at her. But still he caught her.

  Together they practiced. After she fell and he caught her a few more times, they returned to tossing and the other exercises they had practiced, now just with far more distance. He corrected her posture, warned her about her form, gave her challenges, and quizzed her over what she noticed during the fall.

  After about an hour, he brought her back to the top and announced they were going to take a break. "The sun is still rising. We can at least enjoy that even if it isn't the prettiest of shades."

  It wasn't. The sky was a dingy yellow. It had been for the past few days. After a few hours, it would warm up and the sky would return to its azure brilliance. For now though, it was this uncomfortable shade, the light weak and the clouds pale-grey.

  She stared out over the cliff. This great pit appeared to open up in the east and meld into gradual hills in the northwest. Reaching up, she rubbed her forehead. A dull tension headache was forming in a band across the back of her head. "You planned on raising me."

  "I did." WroOth leaned back on his elbows, his feet at the edge of the cliff. "I told you. You were my sister
from the start."

  She smiled slightly as she fidgeted with her bracelet. "So you were going to have the talk with me."

  "We were going to have lots of talks." He flashed her a grin.

  A faint laugh rose within her. "In Indiana, when they say 'the talk,' they mean something very specific."

  "Oh?" He chuckled. "You'll have to enlighten me, dear heart. I was only in that place for a relatively short time."

  "It's about sex. Vestoving."

  "Oh." WroOth sat up. He frowned as he looked at her. "I thought you knew about the besreds and the dormas."

  "Assuming that means sex, I know some things. But I also have questions. You said I could talk to you if I had any. And I can't talk to Naatos about it because—"

  "No. I understand." He clicked his tongue. "Well—what do you know? Do I need to go to the absolute basics? You are a vet, so surely not."

  "I know the basics between Awdawms. Beyond that, my additional species knowledge is basic knowledge regarding animal procreation and some bizarre and weird facts."

  "Bizarre and weird, you say?"

  "Leopard slugs have sex while dangling in midair."

  WroOth laughed, his eyebrows lifting. "So do Vawtrians. Or rather we can. There's this one practice that involves falling a great distance while vestoving as well."

  "Like some eagles?"

  He snapped his fingers. "Yes. Dragons as well. Except we don't stay in the aerial form for it. You go back and forth between the forms and flying and then just— anyway. Very challenging. Incredibly dangerous. You and Naatos shouldn't be engaging in anything like that for a long time. Not until Naatos gets his shifting back."

  "Does that happen as soon as we vestov?" Hmmm. That dull ache had become sharper for a moment.

  "Some of it. The inability to shift, it has a range to it. It varies based on the Vawtrian's ability to focus. So on a good day, Naatos is able to shift as long as he doesn't come into physical contact with you. On a bad day or when he is just very distracted, even smelling you is too much and he needs to be away from you. Out of sight, almost out of mind. Really when the sun sets, all it really speaks to is focus. After you two vestov, he'll be much calmer, much better at focusing in general, and the connection will be satisfied. But if enough time passes, he'll struggle again. And until he gets used to you and adapts fully in his own skills, you'll still be able to pull him right out of a shifted form with any form of your body on his. Sometimes even just your clothes. There was one couple we knew. They had been joined for over eighteen hundred years. But there were still points when she could give him such a shock seductively speaking that he'd drop straight out of even his earliest mastered forms. Once there was a tournament, and she flung her garter at him right after he'd won. He dropped that shape quite swiftly. What followed would probably make you blush."