Wilderness Untamed

by Butler, J. M.

  "So I'm not dead? I suppose that's encouraging. If this is what is beyond, I can't say I care for it."

  He chuckled as he stepped farther in. He wore long silver grey robes that caught the light in gentle beams. The black cloak over his shoulders was as soft and dark as a peaceful night. "No, this isn't death. This is one of the lower chambers of the Dry Deep. If you followed the wrong ones, you could find yourself on an entirely new continent. Not that I recommend this method of travel just yet."

  "Where have you been?" A knot formed in her throat as tears burned her eyes. "This has been horrible. I've been so confused. Where were you? Where was Elonumato in all this?"

  As soon as the words left her mouth, she felt memories stir. As if she'd seen him before but had not recalled until now. It was so hard to remember anything. "Or were you—I can't remember." She held her head.

  He placed his arm around her shoulder and hugged her. "It's all right. Don't strain yourself to remember. You won't recall everything, and that is in part because you will not see everything. You will never be alone though, and you are always heard."

  She rubbed her temples. "Well obviously not if there's some undead centipede with antlers inside me. But I don't find that to be especially comforting. What in all the worlds just happened back there?"

  Another warm chuckle followed. "That wasn't what I meant by you not being alone, but yes, about the Ki Valo Nakar and your demonstration. Some Awdawms might call it astral projection. But the Neyeb term is aroing. And it is a little different. One of the biggest differences being that your body cannot survive without your soul for more than a short period without regular conditioning. And based on your condition, you have even less time than most beginners."

  "So I just what… threw my soul up?"

  "You could call it that. The Ki Valo Nakar's bond requires that you be living in your body. It cannot be removed until death, but if you are not a conscious soul within your body, it may not inhabit it either. If it's strong enough, it can move you. But it can't live inside you. At the moment, your body is a shell that is slowly ticking down. Your heart will slow and your breaths will stop if you don't return."

  She laughed ruefully as she dragged her hand through her hair. "You know, that doesn't sound like such a terrible way to go."

  "Do you want to go?"

  Such a simple question. No judgment underlying it at all in those kind dark eyes. As if she could say yes, and that would be it. "I guess I don't. Not really."

  "Then we need to get you back to your body. Come along." He gestured for her to follow him and started down one of the larger passages. "It isn't as far as one might think."

  She found moving to be both easier and more unnerving than she anticipated. Instinct caused her to try to use her legs. They did not respond, but she did glide in the general direction she intended.

  The cavern path angled upward as it curved around. Something scurried off. Only the fact that it grew quieter indicated it was really moving away. Sound did strange things down here. Blinking, she tried to organize her thoughts. Only a little time and so many things. "So when I get back into my body, the Ki Valo Nakar is going to be there too?"

  "It will. But you are stronger than it. It should not have behaved in this manner. It is against its code and law. That will be dealt with. However, you will have to learn to use your abilities and exercise your control over parts of yourself that you may find uncomfortable or even undesirable. Your work with shields and boundaries in particular is essential. Each of the souls will draw from you. You will need to learn to care for them without destroying yourself, and that will take time. You will always want to comfort them after you remove them from the bodies."

  She halted. Those memories returned, wafting over her thoughts like clouds. "I—I stole their souls?"

  "No." He paused to look at her, frowning slightly. "It wasn't theft at all, Amelia. You drew them from torment and then released them. That is the purpose of the Ki Valo Nakar. And it is the purpose of the healer to soothe and comfort the souls before they are sent to their eternal form. What they have endured is cruel beyond measure. There are two things you must remember. You must never tear free the soul of one who is unwilling. And you must never devour a soul. It will give you great power for a time, power obtained from the soul's suffering before it breaks free to judgment. But at the accounting of all, you will have to pay suffering for suffering."

  "I hope I would never eat a soul."

  His expression remained gentle, but something deeper saddened in his eyes. "Days may soon come when you will be tempted. Just as you may find yourself tempted to rip the soul of one who is not ready to pass to the next life. Every Neyeb who serves as the host to the Ki Valo Nakar faces this temptation. This struggle. You must not yield to either."

  "And the Ki Valo Nakar will push me to do so?"

  "Not intentionally." He offered her his arm. "It will push you beyond your limits if it can. It is bound to a host now because it pushed its own boundaries and rules long ago and worked upon itself grave consequences. All that matters to it is freeing as many souls from the torment of these incantations and the Forbidden Arts. In time, if you are not cautious and do not care for yourself, you will find that you no longer care about much else but accomplishing your purposes, regardless of the cost to you or to others. And there are few things crueler than good intentions without compassion, mercy, wisdom, or awareness."

  "I know I'm evil or will be if I'm not careful," she said as she continued beside him. They emerged in a longer broad chamber with a low ceiling. Puddles pooled beneath stalactites dripping dark water. It did not smell so unpleasant under here. Just cool. And calm. The bitter taste had left her mouth as well, thank goodness.

  "You are capable of evil, Amelia. And everyone is. It lies within many of the choices that you face. But that doesn't mean you must follow it or that you are fated to it. Your mother planned for you to be used for harm and cruelty beyond what most could imagine. That is part of the reason Elonumato chose you for what He did."

  She shook her head, half smiling. It was almost funny. She was chosen. Not because she was inherently special but because her mother was such a horror that turning her into something good was proof of her mother's failure. Thoughts of her mother stung though. "Can you tell me why she hated me so much?"

  "Oh." He sighed. "She didn't hate you. She took care to never feel anything for you. If you had not survived, she would have done the same to the next child and the next. In the end, it was never about you or anything that you did or didn't do."

  He turned to face her and gripped her shoulders. The lines in his broad forehead deepened. "Now listen to me carefully because you must remember this. To re-enter your body, you only need to place your hands over your physical heart. Your instincts will do the rest. You are stronger than the Ki Valo Nakar, and it cannot force you to do anything you do not want. It cannot hear all of your thoughts nor does it know your heart. And you can keep it from reaching your memories as well. Just as importantly, don't believe it when it says it is the one giving you strength either."

  "So it is a liar?"

  He smiled a little. Stepping forward, he pushed aside a great chunk of stone. The unpleasant air wafted in from the outside. "The Ki Valo Nakar is prone to overestimating its actual contributions. And at this point, it is rather desperate after being imprisoned and feeling the weight of the unformed ones and other tragedies mounting. This does not justify what it has done. But it is narrow-minded. It also sees things in a very different light. There are large gaps in its knowledge, filled in by what it has learned from the Neyeb over centuries. As such, you will be quite perplexing for it to grasp. And you must be more than it."

  She slid out onto the packed soil. The trees here bent and bowed far more than in the other places. A few had even been upturned. That faint scent of soil combated the acrid air, but it made her long all the more for the land beyond Dry Deep with clean fresh air and bright sunlight as well as peaceful nigh
ts and gentle breezes. "Be more than some undead entity that wants to pull souls out of unformed ones. Is there anything else inside of me that you want to tell me about?"

  Leonas laughed. "We need to go a little faster now, Amelia. There isn't much time left. So listen carefully."

  * * *

  "Get up!" The Ki Valo Nakar floated over Amelia's body. It pushed at her, knocking her hand off her chest. Whatever force it possessed in the physical world though, it couldn't do more than that at the moment. It too had been weakened.

  Naatos shook his head as he stepped into the pool. The shallow dark water sloshed against his black boots, cold and unpleasant as it crept up his trouser cuffs. "She can't hear you anymore, can she?" His spear was of little use against the Ki Valo Nakar when it wasn't within another's body, but he swiped the weapon lazily in the Ki Valo Nakar's direction, testing its strength.

  The fact that it couldn't move Amelia away from the pool to some secure location where it would lure her soul back meant it was weaker than anticipated. Most likely from overexertion as well as being trapped for so long. Both points in their favor.

  Of course, if it focused enough, it might find some way to spirit her off. Given how badly everything had gone, he had no intention of risking that. She probably had twenty minutes to get back. Going in search of her would accomplish nothing. She could be anywhere above or below. In places they could not reach. Her best chance of returning to her body was leaving her close to where she had fallen.

  He jerked his head at the Ki Valo Nakar as he checked for his brothers. They understood. Hadn't even needed him to confirm. Already they closed in, entering the shallow black waters.

  "What exactly is your plan here?" Naatos demanded.

  AaQar knelt beside Amelia. He removed the boot from her left foot, his face twisting momentarily. "It's returned." He indicated the dark veins that had blistered up her leg. From the looks of it, it had expanded up her thigh.

  WroOth swore loudly.

  Naatos's chest tightened. His gaze fell once more to her face. Even now, the expression on it suggested deep pain. The good life he had promised had never been so far away. And now—now the long leeches' venom would drag her closer, perhaps all the way to death. His veskaro. All he could do was play for time. Then—then they'd need a miracle.

  "We didn't get them all," AaQar murmured. He drew his hand over his mouth. "And they have multiplied."

  "Hah." The Ki Valo Nakar drew itself up as if quite pleased with itself. Its moon eyes gleamed. "You see, she must cooperate, or she dies. This is not complicated."

  "So it is connected to you?" AaQar lifted Amelia's foot and gestured toward her heel. "The sorcery that's killing her, the long leeches, all of it; it's tied to you?"

  All the pieces were sliding together. Now that the source of the sorcery had been exposed, its thrall was fading. And it was all coming into view. This thing had stripped her of almost every chance to survive. It had run down her clock and cultivated the curse's venom, nourished the long leeches and bled her strength.

  The Ki Valo Nakar hissed another laugh. "They thought they could trap me long enough to find an alternative, but there is none. I am unstoppable."

  WroOth and QueQoa drew closer as well so that the Ki Valo Nakar was now flanked on all sides. It glanced around. "Must you all stand so close to me?" It flared the bone spikes out again even though it accomplished nothing. "And if this little sack of scars and stupidity doesn't realize the great honor bestowed upon her and become reasonable, she will die. I've taken her to the limit of what she can endure. She can go no farther without me. Really. Must you? Stand away."

  "Why are you so uneasy?" WroOth spread his arms, his expression unusually grim. "You're non-corporeal. We're corporeal. It's not as if we can do much harm to you. Maybe a little sting. A little burn. A little trauma. Can you not endure that? Are you so sensitive?"

  It hissed at him. "I was grateful not to reap you when last we met. Now I would tear your soul out."

  "Given your current strength and abilities and the fact you can't even move her body a few feet, I doubt you can reach my soul. You're more than welcome to try."

  "Isn't that forbidden though?" QueQoa asked, glancing from his brother to the entity. "Taking the souls of those who aren't ready to depart? Are you saying that you would do such things of your own volition, Ki Valo Nakar?"

  It was forbidden. But that hadn't kept the past hosts from doing far worse than taking those whose souls were grieved almost to death. If the Ki Valo Nakar were stronger, he might have been worried that it could do some damage. But it wasn't. It was all words for now.

  All words—and just her motionless in the water.

  The ripples splashed against her face.

  He couldn't take it anymore. Stepping forward, Naatos lifted her into his arms. He wouldn't move her far. But she didn't have to stay in this miserable place. The black water ran off her clothing in dark rivulets. He'd never found her heavy, but she was even lighter now. Not simply because her soul had departed. Dry Deep had shredded her strength and weakened her form. Her collarbone had become more prominent, her hips bonier, her skin sallow. It had even worn along her muscles.

  "Hey, hey, put that down." The Ki Valo Nakar swung in front of him. Though it bared its crooked human-like teeth, there was nothing more it could do.

  Naatos growled in response. "She is not a 'that.'" Her head lolled against his shoulder. He carried her to the edge of the pool and laid on the ground. "Someone get a blanket. She's going cold." He rubbed her hands. Her pulse, though slow, wasn't in dangerous territory yet. They had perhaps another fifteen minutes. Maybe ten. Once more her clock ran too fast.

  The Ki Valo Nakar scoffed. "She might as well be to me. There is always another host."

  QueQoa had already crossed over to Proteus. The bavril bleated as he removed one of the packs. "You can host with non-Neyeb?"

  Naatos looked up sharply as he heard the Ki Valo Nakar's scornful laugh. "After my years of mourning, there are always dozens of eager Neyeb. It will be no different this time. If this Neyeb remains obstinate, she will die. And I will take another when the time is right. My new host may not be as well-suited for healing, but that is not nearly so important as cooperation and respect."

  It shook its head as it circled them. "And such a shame. She was so skilled. She ripped out the souls of the unformed ones in seconds. Seven at most." It clicked its overcrowded teeth. "So much strength. And you should see her tear free a soul, vow breaker. You thought this one had no claws and teeth. If you intend to keep that vow you made, you should let her die here. Seven seconds for her first one. Five on the last."

  "She has reaped no souls," Naatos snarled. A chill ran down his spine nonetheless. "She doesn't even know how to begin."

  "Some knowledge is instinctual, and she has reaped well over a dozen when I took her." The mocking manner with which it spoke cut even deeper. "You know me, vow breaker. When have I truly lied? An exaggeration a time or two perhaps. A failure to tell everything on occasion. But a full bold-faced lie? She's torn free more than a dozen and nourished them with her own life. They keep sending unformed ones, and I hear their call. I hear their call, and I answer them. I answer them, and I make her be as she is meant to be. I let her pour herself out. It's taken her even closer to death. But when she cooperates, I will teach her safer ways with the aid of her mentor."

  Amelia had ripped out the souls of over a dozen unformed ones?

  "That's why we haven't been attacked anymore," AaQar said quietly. "They're still out there. They're just—they're just being freed."

  The Ki Valo Nakar nodded, exceptionally pleased with itself. Its joints clicked and popped. Though it swooped at Naatos, he refused to move away. His brothers closed the space again as QueQoa brought the pack. AaQar took it at once. As he rifled through it, he set the objects down on the ground.

  "There is nothing you can do," the Ki Valo Nakar continued. "I've sent the beacon to her. She'll return in a minute or
so. And then she'll make her choice. Without a guide though, she'll soon break apart. If you want her to live, then you can find someone to train her. Otherwise, I'll take her to a Neyeb healer. We'll snap out of this place before your ridiculous little minds can even recognize what's happened. So long as she gets back."

  Idiot. It truly couldn't read all her thoughts or memories. How had it missed the most important element to this plan?

  Naatos glared at it. "She will return." Of that he had no doubt. Aroing wasn't something he'd expected her to accomplish on her own, but he didn't know why he had been so surprised. It fit with her personality quite well. Unable to win? Why not jettison her consciousness? She'd have to come back for the last word though. She had to. Raging mad as well.

  "She'll make it back to this body, terrified, desperate for grounding. And if she doesn't, it only proves she was unworthy."

  "And why are you not more concerned about that?" AaQar asked. He unfolded the brown blanket and tucked it over her.

  "Because if she dies, I will take another." The Ki Valo Nakar scoffed as if he were stupid. "How is it that you three were Paras?" It jerked its horned head at QueQoa. "You at least make sense. But the rest of you, you should be ashamed of yourselves. What she sees in you, I'll never know."

  "You think you can just discard her?" WroOth demanded. "Just throw her away like she's garbage?"

  "If she acts like garbage, she'll get treated like garbage." It huffed. "In all my years, I've never been treated with such disrespect. But I am merciful."

  "There are no other Neyeb, you dull-witted creature," Naatos said. The edge in his voice could not be removed as he glared at it. "They're all dead."

  It laughed darkly, its eyes burning brighter white. "Do you think you can fool me as easily as you have fooled her? Do you think I am a child? You told her they were dead to make her reliant upon you. So very like you, vow breaker."