Essence of an Affair

by Max Sebastian

  She nodded, 'I guess so.'

  Jens asked her, 'So Nicolai thinks... you're having an affair with him?'

  She paused, as though considering the thought, and whether what had happened on their third date constituted an affair just yet. 'I suppose he does,' she said.

  'So what happened after you had drinks with him?'

  She took a deep breath. 'He... kissed me.'

  Jens felt his cock jolt, and feared that she'd pushed him over the edge. But, somehow, he held himself back. Effie couldn't help but notice how he responded to her words, however. It amused her, but it also seemed to intrigue her--and maybe, as she got used to the idea, it excited her.

  'You never kissed him before?' he asked her.

  She shook her head. 'The first time I went out with him was just coffee... and the second time, I really wasn't sure about it at all, and I think he could sense that.'

  'But the third date, that was okay? You were sure about it?'

  She smiled. 'I was sure about it until I came home to find my husband with this beautiful, hard cock.'

  He moaned at the sensations she provoked in him, and when he glanced over at her, it seemed she was taking some kind of pleasure in doing it for him.

  'So... he kissed you. And you liked it?' he prompted her.

  She raised her eyebrow again, still unsure about whether he really wanted to know. 'I... did like it,' she said cautiously, and looked down, briefly, as she felt his response in her hands. Reassured, she went on, 'We went back to his place. He has a nice apartment overlooking the water, just down from Nyhavn.'

  'Impressive.'

  She smiled. 'He is a senior management consultant. Anyway, he opened a bottle of red wine, and we were talking about stuff... and I guess I knew what was coming, because then I was warning him about... you know... my history...'

  'Your history?' he wasn't asking her what she meant, his tone of voice made it clear he was asking whether she had been really comfortable opening up to someone new about her past trauma.

  'He made me feel very comfortable,' she said. 'Very... safe. Said we didn't have to rush into anything.'

  'But he did kiss you.'

  'I think, maybe, it was more like I kissed him. It was very nice. Soft. Sweet.'

  For a moment, Jens wondered what it would be like to kiss Effie, properly. Perhaps it would be okay--he would enjoy the softness, the sweetness. Breathing in her own sexy scent as he kissed her. But he couldn't say for certain that it would be okay--his paranoia, which had been honed and perfected for three decades, might so easily turn his attention to the inherent hygiene issues associated with close contact with another person. If he saw the bugs... it would ruin everything, maybe sully their entire relationship.

  Her hand wrapped around his cock was one thing, apparently, but his lips touching hers, his tongue touching hers... and all that saliva...

  'You kissed his mouth?'

  She nodded. Still looking into his eyes, still checking he was all right with this.

  'He put his arms around me,' she said, 'and it felt so... nice. I let him. I wanted him. I wanted his hands all over me.'

  Another glance at Jens's eyes, another quick assessment of his state of mind.

  Then, 'I think... when he actually touched me--when he was stroking my breasts, he actually made me come.' She looked down at her husband's cock, and he was still so hard in her hands. 'We went through to the bedroom, and I helped him take off his clothes, and we were kissing some more... but then I pushed him down on the bed.'

  'Uh-huh?' Jens prompted her.

  'I guess I felt... self-conscious. I wanted to switch out the lights. I didn't want him to see me.'

  'Why not? You're beautiful.'

  She smiled at her husband's compliment. 'But he told me to take off my dress, and so I just had to. He watched me, and when I took off my dress he told me to take off my underwear. And when I hesitated, he took it off for me...'

  Jens could hardly believe what she was saying, it was sexy like nothing he had ever heard before. It was sexy, and it was also shocking, even though they had agreed she could do it, they had their arrangement for Effie to pursue the sex she needed. As she continued stroking his cock, squeezing it, pumping it, Jens felt it harder and harder to breathe. And as he did breathe more and more deeply, it seemed that the scent of chlorine on Effie gradually faded, and her own scent became stronger--and that only seemed to turn him on more.

  '...He had me lie down on the bed, and then he was just touching me--stroking me--all over my body. It was so nice... I just felt so guilty...I rolled over onto my front, so it would just be like he was giving me a massage...'

  'Guilty?' Jens said, though he found it increasingly difficult to talk. His tone said she had nothing to feel guilty about, and that made her smile.

  'I just kept thinking about you, and I assumed... nothing would ever happen between us. I tried to think of all those times you kept telling me I needed to do this--'

  'You do,' Jens agreed.

  'He was rubbing my back and it felt so good...' Jens wondered if she had reacted to Nicolai's touch so strongly because she'd been so starved of human contact through their whole marriage. '...And then he started planting little kisses all over my shoulders, down my back...'

  Another glance up at her husband. Jens gave her a little smile of reassurance this time, though he was flushed and trying hard not to think about the fact that he was actually getting sweaty now, his pores opening up to expel hot salty fluid, so dirty...

  'He kissed over my hips, and down my thighs,' she said, and he noticed that Effie was breathing quite heavily herself, those nipples so hard they were in danger of piercing her nightshirt. Was she getting turned on? Was he even able to detect the subtle aroma of her arousal, now that she was?

  One more look into his eyes, and Effie said, 'Then he was lying between my legs, pushing up my butt, and he was... kissing me... down there... he buried his face between my legs and I felt his mouth, his tongue on my... on my pussy...'

  Jens remembered how it had been to press her wet panties to his face, and now he envied Nicolai, even though he wasn't sure he could ever do such a thing himself. And yet while there was envy, there was still no jealousy. No anger. He felt some kind of elation that the man had done this with Effie.

  'It felt... good?' he asked her.

  'A little... unexpected, at first. But good, yeah. Once I got used to it, very good. I couldn't believe it. His mouth was so hot, so soft, and when he sucked on me, it was like... I don't know... fireworks inside me...'

  But that was where Jens reached his limit, and with a cry of horror, disgust, and also unavoidable pleasure, he felt his hard cock jumping in her hands, bucking like a mule--and spurting that awful, sticky, hot cream into her hands.

  'Oh God... oh God...' he panted. 'I'm so sorry... I'm so... sorry...'

  Effie only smiled, 'It's okay, that's the way it's supposed to be. It's okay, really.'

  7

  Afraid

  She got a towel to clean him up, and then while he went back into the shower, she put their clothes, and the sheets from the bed, straight into the washing machine. One thing with the routine was that there would always be plenty of freshly laundered replacements--their closets and drawers were full of identical sheets, and for Jens identical clothes, since he felt so comfortable wearing the same thing day after night after day.

  Effie showered again, after Jens. A particularly long shower, even for her. He thought she probably expected him to go straight to sleep after what had happened. But he felt so alive, so content, his mind whirring so much, there was no way he could sleep.

  After a while he heard, though it was very faint, her soft moans. It was barely there over the sound of the water, but Jens had heard it before, he recognized it instantly. Effie, his beautiful wife, touching herself.

  What he would give to be able to just go in there, to join her, to touch her for himself, to make her feel good for himself. He'd made progress,
though. That was a good thing. She'd seemed delighted by it. They'd had their first sexual experience together. He hadn't even felt ill after his come had leaked out everywhere, over his lap and over her hands.

  And now, listening to her, he was thickening up again. Unbelievable. He was like a spotty teenager again. Perhaps because he'd missed out on fifteen years or so of sexual experiences.

  He pulled himself out of bed, and walked out of the bedroom to the kitchen to fetch a glass of iced water. It didn't do much to calm him down. It was getting really late, but at least it was the weekend, he wouldn't have to go into work the next day. Finishing up the water, Jens noticed that the washing machine wasn't going. He sighed, thinking that perhaps it had broken down again. But then approaching it, he saw that Effie hadn't pressed the 'power' button that final time. It took about three presses, which had never made much sense, but had never seemed like something worth complaining about to the building super.

  He opened up the lid of the washing machine and for a moment stared that the mixture of sheets and pajamas and Effie's nightwear. Then he fished out a little scrap of black cotton--Effie's panties. The ones she'd been wearing while telling him about her date, while sitting on the bed with him, stroking his cock. They were soaking wet, and it was hard to avoid her scent, even before he brought them up to his sensitive nose.

  Without hint of perfume this time, this was only Effie's arousal. It made him feel giddy, but in a surprisingly good way. He didn't feel bad, didn't feel nausea. It was exciting--proof of how turned on she'd been, telling him about her date, and perhaps from touching him, too.

  He heard the sound of the shower being switched off, and now quietly closed the washing machine lid before pressing the power button one last time to set the thing going. Then he crept back into the bedroom and into bed just moments before she emerged from the bathroom.

  'You never said how your date ended,' he pointed out, as though he needed to occupy her mind to make sure she didn't notice that he'd just dashed back into bed, and that he was suspiciously flushed and slightly out of breath.

  She smiled, amused at his endless curiosity. 'That was about everything,' she said, stepping in front of the mirror to get dressed again. 'After he made me come that last time, we talked a bit, and then I said it was probably time I went home.'

  'You didn't... reciprocate?'

  She shook her head. 'I thought I would, but we were talking so long and then... he didn't seem to expect anything.'

  He watched her drop her towel, saw her naked again in front of the full-length mirror, her long, black, curly hair tumbling down her back.

  'You think you will, next time?'

  'Next time?' she raised another quizzical eyebrow. 'I thought we were making progress?'

  She smiled, amused at his apparent disappointment that she might give up dating her new guy, Nicolai.

  'It's just sex,' he said, surprising her by how relaxed he was about it. 'You don't have to give up dating, just because... you know... we're making progress, too.'

  She looked over at him, and after a brief pause as she stepped into clean panties, she said, 'You know I love you, don't you?'

  He could tell she was slightly confused by it: for a man with such huge hang-ups about cleanliness, about human contact--he viewed sex as just another activity, something his wife might do with whomever she pleased, without any need to restrict it because of their marriage.

  'And yet, you did feel shame about your emerging sexual attraction toward your wife,' the therapist said.

  'Shame,' Jens said, mulling the word over in his head.

  The therapist peered over his glasses at him. 'You know, most husbands in your position would celebrate the fact that you are not only making progress in regard to dealing with the physical presence of another person close by to you--but you're also, apparently, discovering that you are actively attracted to Effie, and even turned on by the physical manifestations of her sexuality.'

  The therapist chuckled. 'And, I'd say, most husbands would feel shame about the fact that they rather liked the idea of their wife seeking sexual gratification outside of their marriage.'

  'Yes, maybe.'

  'With you, it's completely the other way around.'

  Jens thought about that night, as he and Effie had finally switched out the lights and gone to bed, after that first time she'd ever really touched him, the first time they'd shared a sexual experience together. He'd been a little surprised, lying there in the dark, to suddenly realize that he still had her panties clutched in one hand.

  Had she noticed him holding them?

  She hadn't acted as though she'd spotted them, as far as he could tell. In the darkness, he pressed her underwear to his face once again, breathing in that wicked scent. It had seemed so wrong, for him to do it--and the therapist was correct, it had felt shameful. He was invading his wife's privacy, he had taken something that wasn't his, he was sampling something of hers without her consent.

  And yet, disturbingly, he liked it.

  'Why don't you just tell her?' the therapist said. 'Tell her that you've come to enjoy the way she is, without needing her to scrub herself raw every night?'

  'I... I don't know...'

  The therapist nodded. 'You can't quite accept it yourself, can you?'

  Jens looked blank.

  'Or... perhaps you're afraid?'

  'Afraid?'

  The therapist nodded, as though the matter was already settled. 'Perhaps you're afraid that if you tell her that you like the way she is, naturally. That you're turned on by her body--that something you find so sickening in other people, you've come to desire in her. Are you afraid she'll expect you to be the lover she's missed out on ever since she married you? And that you might not meet her expectations in that area?'

  'I... I don't know...'

  The therapist smiled. 'You know, the pressure to perform sexually can be immense for many men. Many husbands.'

  'It can?'

  He nodded. 'It's a very common problem, leads to a lot of erectile dysfunction. I have many patients... well, I can't talk about specifics, of course...'

  8

  Watching Her

  Saturday.

  It was fair to say that with Jens knowing about it, her dating had somewhat accelerated. Instead of waiting until the following week for another quiet mid-week evening, Effie had a date arranged at the weekend.

  This totally disrupted their routine--and yet Jens was fully on board. He even went to sit in the bedroom with her while she got ready for her date.

  'Oh hey,' she said as she emerged from the bathroom after her shower. 'Everything okay?'

  'Of course,' he smiled. 'I just wanted to spend time with you before you go out.'

  Stopping in front of the mirror, she smiled. 'I don't have to go out, you know. I could stay here with you tonight if you prefer.'

  'Oh no, I want you to go out. I want you to have fun.'

  She paused until her eyes connected with his through the mirror, and she knew for absolute certain he did truly want her to go out on her date. 'You're going to get bored watching me getting dressed,' she warned him.

  'I doubt it.'

  He watched her drying herself, his eyes running over her sweet curves, over all her wonderfully smooth skin. He'd always appreciated her beauty--but it had always been a very clean appreciation, like a critic admiring a masterpiece artwork. And yet now it was different. The thought of her dating another man had awoken a new appreciation inside him, a sexual appreciation. Now he hid an erection while he sat there on his bed, watching her drop her towel and reach for the little pile of clothes on the chair by the mirror.

  He watched her, and despite his fear of touching her, of being too near her, he wanted to put his hands all over her, feel how smooth and soft her skin was, and find out how her body responded to his touch. Despite his concerns about how he would cope with any kind of human contact, a big part of him wanted to rub his face against her body, to breathe in her scent from th
e source, to experience her physicality right up close.

  'I'm not used to you watching me,' she said, but she was amused by it, rather than put off by it.

  'I can sit out there, if you'd prefer,' he said.

  'It's okay.' She held up a tiny little item in front of the mirror, and he saw it was a pair of panties--black, very small, and very elaborate in lace and sheer mesh. She stooped, and lifted one leg and then the other to put on the panties, and his eyes followed her every move.

  Nicolai--the man she worked with--was going to get to peel those panties off her. They were already semi-sheer, but as she stretched them into place over her hips, it struck Jens how they were designed to tantalize a lover, they weren't designed just for a woman to wear and keep hidden.

  'Do you like watching me?' Effie asked him.

  Her nipples were so stiff, riding on her perky breasts. He couldn't believe how much every detail of her body seemed perfectly calibrated to turn him on.

  'Oh, yes,' he said, feeling strangely excited to admit it to her. Like therapy, somehow it felt surprisingly good to talk about this stuff. In the same way that it was cathartic to discuss your personal problems with someone else--just getting your thoughts out there, somehow, made them seem less awful, and made you feel more confident in dealing with your problems. In the same way, he got a similar feeling that admitting his sexual desire to Effie was helpful, rather than humiliating. 'Do you mind me watching you?' he asked her.

  'I like it,' she smiled, and gave him a little twirl to show herself off for him. 'I just didn't think you were interested in... this kind of thing.'

  He laughed. 'I didn't think I was, either.'

  'But you are now?'

  He moved his hands from his lap, and showed her the big tent in his pants. She caught her breath, covered her mouth with her hands as though shocked, but her dark eyes seemed absolutely delighted.

  'Do you want me to... help you with that?' she offered.