O Is for Outlaw

by Sue Grafton

  Wary and I headed down the front stairs, chatting as we went. Idly, he said, “If you want, after breakfast, I’ll show you where he was shot. It’s just a couple blocks away.”

  13

  I’ll skip the breakfast conversation. There’s nothing so boring as listening to other people get acquainted. We chatted. We traded brief, heavily edited autobiographical sketches, stories about Mickey, theories about the motive for the shooting. In the meantime, I discovered that I liked Wary Beason, though I promptly erased all his personal data. As crass as it sounds, I didn’t seriously think I’d ever see him again. Like the passenger sitting next to you on a cross-country plane ride, it’s possible to connect with someone, even when the encounter has no meaning and no ultimate consequence.

  I did appreciate his showing me the spot where Mickey was gunned down, a nondescript section of sidewalk in front of a coin and jewelry shop. The sign in the window advertised rare coins, rare stamps, pocket watches, antiques, and coin supplies. “We also make low-rate loans,” the sign said. At 3 A.M. I didn’t think Mickey’d been there to negotiate a loan.

  Wary remained silent while I stood for a minute, looking out at the surrounding businesses. There was a pool hall across the street. I assumed the detectives had checked it out. Also the bar called McNalley’s, half a block down.

  “You mentioned you used to drink with Mickey at Lionel’s. Is the pub close by?”

  “Back in that direction,” Wary said, gesturing.

  “Any chance Mickey could have been there earlier that night?”

  “No way. Mickey’d been eighty-sixed from Lionel’s until he paid his tab.” Wary took off his glasses and cleaned the yellow lenses on the hem of his T-shirt. He held his frames to the light so he could check for streaks, and then he put his glasses on again and waited to see what I would ask next.

  “Where was he, then? You have a guess?”

  “Well, he wasn’t at McNalley’s, because that’s where I was. I know the cops checked the bars all up and down the street. They didn’t learn a thing … or so they said.”

  “He was out doing something, and he was doing it on foot.”

  “Not necessarily. I mean, just because he’d sold his car doesn’t mean he hoofed it. Somebody could’ve picked him up and taken him somewhere. Out for drinks or dinner. Could have been anyplace.”

  “Back up a minute. Do you happen to remember when he sold his car?”

  “Couple of months back.”

  “You’re talking about the end of March?”

  “That sounds right. Anyway, the point is, nobody even saw him leave the building that night.”

  “So what’s your theory?”

  “Well, let’s just say for the sake of argument he was in someone else’s car. They go out for dinner or drinks and end up closing the place down. Two in the morning, they drive back to Culver City. He—”

  “Or she,” I inserted, promptly.

  Wary smiled. “Right … . The shooter could have dropped Mickey at the corner and then driven down a block like he’s on his way home. Shooter parks, waits in the dark while Mickey walks the intervening block. Minute he comes abreast, the shooter steps out and—boom!—plugs him twice. Shooter tosses the gun and takes off before anybody figures out what’s up.”

  “You really think it happened like that?”

  Wary shrugged. “It could have, that’s all I’m saying. The cops canvassed all the bars and pool halls within a ten-block radius. Mickey hadn’t been in any of ’em, but they know he’d been drinking somewhere because he had a blood alcohol of point one four.”

  “How’d you hear that?”

  “The detective, the dark one, mentioned it in passing.”

  “Really. That’s interesting. What’d they make of it, did anybody say?”

  “No, and I didn’t think to ask. Mickey always had a buzz on. He was probably pushing point one any given day of the week.”

  “He was legally drunk?”

  “Legally plastered is a better way to put it. For a while, he straightened up. He went on the wagon, but it didn’t last long. February he went on a bender, and I guess that’s when he got himself fired from his job. He tried to straighten up again, after that, but without much success. He’d go a couple days and then fall right back. I give him credit. He did try. He just wasn’t strong enough to do it by himself.”

  I was suddenly feeling restless and needed to move. I started walking again and Wary followed, catching up with me. I said, “What about the woman he was seeing?”

  He gave me an odd look, equal parts surprise and embarrassment. “How’d you know about her?”

  I tapped my temple. “A little birdie told me. You know who she was?”

  “Nope. Never met her. Mickey made sure.”

  “How come?”

  “Maybe he thought I’d try to hustle her myself.”

  “Did you actually see her?”

  “In passing. Not to recognize later. She always came up the back stairs and let herself in that way.”

  “She had her own key?”

  “She must have. Mickey never left his doors unlocked. Some days she showed up before he got home from work.”

  “What about her car? Did you ever see a vehicle parked out back?”

  “Never looked. I figured it was his business. Why should I butt in?”

  “How often was she there?”

  “I’d say every two to three weeks. Not to be gross about it, but the walls in the building are not exactly soundproof. I have to say Mickey’s alcohol intake never seemed to hamper him in the performance of his duties.”

  “How do you know it was him? Isn’t there a chance he lent his apartment to someone else? Maybe he had a friend who needed a place to misbehave.”

  “Oh, no. It was him. I’d take an oath on that. He’s been involved with this woman for at least a year.”

  “How do you know there was only one? He might have had a string of women.”

  “Well, it’s possible, I guess.”

  “Any chance she lived in the building?” I asked.

  “In our building? I doubt it. Mickey would’ve felt hemmed in by anybody living that close. He liked his freedom. He didn’t like anybody checking up on him. Like sometimes—say, he was gone for the weekend—I might ask him, you know, How’s the weekend, where’d you end up? Simple shit like that. Mickey wouldn’t answer questions. If you pressed, he changed the subject.”

  “What about since the shooting? Do you think the woman’s been there?”

  “I really couldn’t say for sure. I go to work at four and don’t get home till after midnight. She could have gone in while I was off. Actually, come to think of it, I thought I heard her yesterday. Again last night, too, before that biker geek showed up. What an asshole. Glass company says it’ll cost me a hundred bucks to get that fixed.”

  “Wary, that was me you heard last night. I went in and pulled his personal belongings before they had a chance to change the locks. I suspected his girlfriend’d been there, because a couple of personal articles I’d seen suddenly came up missing.”

  We’d reached the building by then. It was time to hit the road. I thanked him for his help. I made a note of his phone number and then gave him my business card with my home number jotted on the back. We parted company at the stairs.

  I watched Wary go up, and then I went back to the Hatfields to collect the two duffels. They invited me for lunch, but I’d just finished breakfast and I was anxious to get back. We said our good-byes. I thanked them profusely, including Dort in my expressions of appreciation. I didn’t dare be rude in case they were right about her incarnation.

  Their door closed behind me, and I was just heading for my car when I chanced to glance over at the line of mailboxes under the stairs. Mickey’s was crammed with mail. I stared, transfixed. Apparently, the cops had neglected to put a hold on the mail coming in. I wondered how many civil and criminal codes I’d violated so far. Surely, one more transgression wouldn’t add
that much to my sentence. I felt along the bottom of my shoulder bag, extracted my key picks, and went to work on the lock. This one was so easy it would have yielded to a hairpin, which I don’t happen to carry. I pulled out the wad of mail and perused it in haste. The bulk of it consisted of an oversized pulp weekly devoted to survivalist lore: ads for mercenaries, articles about pending gun legislation, government cover-ups, and citizens’ rights. I put the magazine back in the box so the contents would appear untouched. The remaining two envelopes I shoved in my shoulder bag for later consideration. I’ll tell you right now, they turned out to be nothing, which disappointed me greatly. I hate risking jail time on behalf of third-class mail.

  When I arrived in Santa Teresa at 1:35, I snagged the morning paper from the doorstep and let myself in. I tossed the paper on the counter, set the duffels on the floor, and crossed to my desk. There were several messages waiting on my answering machine. I played them, taking notes, aware that it was probably time to get down to paid employment. In the interest of earning a living, I drove over to the office and devoted the rest of the afternoon to servicing the clients with business pending. In any given month, I might juggle some fifteen to twenty cases, not all of them pressing. Despite the fact I had money in the bank, I couldn’t afford to neglect matters already in the works. I’d just spent the past three days chasing down Mickey’s situation. Now it was time to get my professional affairs in order. I had calls to return and receipts to tally and enter on the books. There were numerous invoices to be typed and submitted, along with the accompanying reports to write while my notes were still fresh. I also had a few stern letters to compose, trying to collect from slow-pays (all attorneys, please note), plus bills of my own to pay.

  I was checking my calendar for the days ahead when I remembered the phone call made from Mickey’s number to mine on March 27. I’d never checked my office schedule to see where I was that day. As with my day planner at home, that Thursday was blank. March 26 and 28 were both blank too, so I couldn’t use either as a springboard for recollection.

  At five-thirty, I locked up and drove back to my apartment through the Santa Teresa equivalent of rush-hour traffic, which meant it took me fifteen minutes to get home instead of the usual ten. The sun had finally burned through a lingering marine layer, and the heat in the vehicle was making me sleepy. I could tell I’d have to atone for my late-night activities. I parked down the street from my apartment and pushed through the gate. My place felt cozy, and I was relieved to be home. The emotional roller coaster of the past few days had generated an odd mood—weariness masquerading as depression. Whatever the source, I was feeling raw. I set my shoulder bag on a bar stool and went around the end of the counter into the kitchenette. I hadn’t eaten since breakfast. I opened the refrigerator and stared at the empty shelves. When I thought about Mickey’s cupboards, I realized my food supplies didn’t look much better than his. Absurd that we’d married when we were simultaneously too much alike and much too different.

  Soon after the wedding, I began to realize he was out of control … at least from the perspective of someone with my basically fearful nature. I wasn’t comfortable with what I perceived as his dissipation and his self-indulgence. My Aunt Gin had taught me to be moderate—in my personal habits if not in my choice of cusswords. At first, Mickey’s hedonism had been appealing. I remembered experiencing a nearly giddy relief at his gluttony, his love of intoxication, his insatiable appetite for sex. What he offered was a tacit permission to explore my lustiness, unawakened until then. I related to his disdain for authority and I was fascinated by his disregard for the system, even while he was employed in a job dedicated to upholding law and order. I, too, had tended to operate outside accepted social boundaries. In grade school and, later, junior and senior high schools, I was often tardy or truant, drawn to the lowlife students, in part because they represented my own defiance and belligerence. Unfortunately, by the age of twenty, when I met Mickey, I was already on my way back from the outer fringes of bad behavior. While Mickey was beginning to embrace his inner demons, I was already in the process of retreating from mine.

  Now—fifteen years later—it’s impossible to describe how alive I was for that short period.

  For dinner, I made myself an olive-pimento-cheese sandwich, using that divine Kraft concoction that comes in a jar. I cut the bread neatly into four fingers with the crusts intact and used a section of paper toweling as both napkin and plate. With this wholesome entrée, I sipped a glass of Chardonnay and felt thoroughly comforted. Afterward, I wadded up my dinnerware and tossed it in the trash. Having supped and done the dishes, I placed the two duffels on the counter and unloaded my tools and the booty I’d lifted from Mickey’s the night before. I laid the items on the counter, hoping the sight of them would spark a new interpretation.

  There was a knock at my door. I grabbed the newspaper and opened it, spreading it over the items as if I’d been reading with interest, catching up on events. I crossed to the door and peeked through the porthole to find my landlord standing on the porchlet with a plate of homemade brownies covered in plastic wrap. Henry’s a retired commercial baker who now occupies his time catering tea parties for elderly widows in the neighborhood. He also supplies Rosie’s restaurant with a steady line of baked goods: sandwich breads, dinner rolls, pies, and cakes. I confess I was not entirely happy to see him. While I adore him, I’m not always candid with him about my nocturnal labors.

  I opened the door. We made happy noises at each other while Henry stepped in. I tried to steer him toward the sofa, hoping to divert his attention, but before I could even protest, he leaned over and closed the newspaper to make room for the plate. There sat the four handguns, the packets of phony documents, credit cards, and cash. To all appearances, I’d turned to robbing banks for a living.

  He set the plate on the counter. “What’s all this?”

  I put a hand on his arm. “Don’t ask. The less you know, the better. You’ll have to trust me on this.”

  He looked at me quizzically, an expression in his eyes I hadn’t seen before: trust and mistrust, curiosity, alarm. “But I want to know.”

  I had only a split second to decide what to say. “This is Mickey’s. I lifted the stuff because a sheriffs deputy was scheduled to change the locks on his doors.”

  “Why?”

  “He’s being evicted. I had one chance to search, and I had to take advantage.”

  “But what is all this?”

  “I have no idea. Look, I know how his mind works. Mickey’s paranoid. He tends to hide anything of value. I went through his apartment systematically, and this is what I found. I couldn’t leave it there.”

  “The guns are stolen?”

  “I doubt it. Mickey always had guns. In all likelihood, they’re legal.”

  “But you don’t know that for sure. Mickey didn’t authorize you to do this. Couldn’t you end up in trouble?”

  “Well, yeah, but I can’t worry about that now. I didn’t know what else to do. They were locking him out. This stuff was hidden in the walls, behind panels, in phony bathroom pipes. Meanwhile, he’s in the hospital, completely out of it.”

  “What happens to his possessions? Doesn’t he have furniture?”

  “Tons. I’ll probably offer to have things moved into storage until we see how he fares.”

  “Have you spoken to the doctors yet?”

  “They’re not going to talk to me. The cops put the lid on that possibility. Anyway, I made a big point of saying we’ve been out of touch for years. I can’t come along afterward and ask for daily updates like I’m so distraught. They’d never believe me.”

  “But you said you weren’t going to get involved in this.”

  “I know. I’m not. Well, I am a little bit. At the moment, I don’t even know what’s going on.”

  “Then leave it alone.”

  “It’s too late for that. Besides, you’re the one who said I ought to check it out.”

  “But you never
listen.”

  “Well, I did this time.”

  “Will you listen if I tell you to butt out?”

  “Of course. Once I know what it’s about.”

  “Kinsey, this is clearly police business. You can’t keep quiet about this stuff. You ought to call those detectives—”

  “Nope. Don’t want to. I’m not going to do that. I don’t like those guys.”

  “At least, they can be objective.”

  “So can I.”

  “Oh, really?”

  “Yes, really. Henry, don’t do this.”

  “What am I doing?”

  “You’re disapproving of my behavior. It tears me up.”

  “As well it should.”

  I clamped my mouth shut. I was feeling stubborn and resistant. I was already in the thick of it and couldn’t bail out. “I’ll think about it some.”

  “You better do more than that. Kinsey, I’m concerned about you. I know you’re upset, but this really isn’t like you.”

  “You know what? It is like me. This is exactly who I am: a liar and a thief. You want to know something else? I don’t feel bad about it. I’m completely unrepentant. More than that. I like it. It makes me feel alive.”

  A shadow crossed his face and something familiar seemed to scurry into hiding. He was silent for a moment and then said mildly, “Well. In that case, I’m sure you don’t need any lectures from me.”

  He was gone before I could reply. The door closed quietly behind him. The plate of brownies remained. I could tell they were still warm because the air was filled with the scent of chocolate and the plastic wrap was foggy with condensation. I stood where I was. I felt nothing. My mind was blank except for the one assertion. I had to do this. I did. Something inside me had shifted. I could sense the muscles in my face set with obstinacy. There was no way I’d let go, no way I’d back away from this … whatever it was.

  I sat down at the counter, propping my feet on the rung of the kitchen stool. I folded the newspaper neatly. I picked up the envelope and opened the seal. Inside were two passbooks for Mickey’s savings accounts, six cash-register receipts, a Delta ticket envelope, and a folded sheet of paper. I examined the passbooks first. The first had once held a total of $15,000, but the account had been closed and the money withdrawn in January of 1981. The second savings account was opened that same January with a deposit of $5,000 dollars. This was apparently the money he’d been living on of late. I noticed that a series of $600 cash withdrawals corresponded to deposits in his checking account with the following discrepancy: Mickey would pull $600 and deposit $200, apparently keeping $400 in pocket change—“walking around” money, as he used to refer to it. I had to guess this was petty cash, used to pay his bar bills, his dinners out, items from the market. The six cash-register receipts were dated January 17, January 31, February 7, February 21, March 7, and March 21. The ink was faded, but the name of the establishment wasn’t that hard to read: the Honky-Tonk. I was assuming he’d sold his car sometime in the third week in March because he’d deposited $900 in his checking account. The loss of his transportation might explain the sudden cessation of visits after so many regular Friday-night appearances. Why drive all the way to Santa Teresa to have a drink when there were bars in his neighborhood? I set the question aside since there was no way to answer it. Before examining the last item, I pulled out my index cards and made some notes. There’s always the temptation to let this part slide, but I had to capture the data while everything was fresh in my mind.