by Zack Zombie
Table of Contents
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Thursday Late Entry
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Find out what happens next!
Copyright © 2015 Zack Zombie Publishing LLC
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, scanning, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other non-commercial uses permitted by copyright law.
This unofficial novel is an original work of fan fiction which is not sanctioned nor approved by the makers of Minecraft. Minecraft is a registered trademark of, and owned by, Mojang Synergies AB, and its respective owners, which do not sponsor, authorize, or endorse this book. All characters, names, places, and other aspects of the game described herein are trademarked and owned by their respective owners. Minecraft ®/TM & © 2009-2016 Mojang.
Saturday
“@#$%?&!”
“Wesley! What did you say?!!!”
“@#$%?&!”
“Wesley! Where did you learn that word?!!”
“Zumby tode it to me.”
“ZOMBIE! GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW!”
Oh boy… I think I’m in real trouble now.
“Yes, mom?”
“Zombie! Did you teach your little brother that bad word?”
“What bad word?”
“I’m not going to repeat it.”
“But then how am I going to know what word it is?”
I kind of figured I could outsmart my Mom and get out of whatever trouble I was in.
“Well, I’m going to spell it for you. The word is @ - # - $ - % - ? - &.”
“Oh, you mean @#$%?&!”
“ZOMBIE! Don’t use that word!”
“What’s wrong with @#$%?&?”
“Zombie!”
I have to admit, I kind of liked the way that my mom turned a weird shade of green every time I said that word.
“What? The kids at school say @#$%?&! all the time.”
“Zombie! Humph! Maybe your father can help you understand this better.”
“FRANCIS!”
“Yes, honey? Did I do something wrong?”
“Your son thinks that saying the word, @ - # - $ - % - ? - &, is OK.”
“Whoa! Zombie, when I was a kid, if I ever used that word, my mother would’ve washed my mouth out with slime.”
“But Dad, what’s wrong with @#$%?&? The kids at school say it all the time. I even heard the mail man say it one day when the neighbor’s wolf bit him.”
Something told me that I just found a secret weapon that I can use to make the adults in my life get all crazy.
“Zombie, just because the kids around you use it, doesn’t mean you have to,” my Dad said.
Meanwhile, Wesley was having fun practicing the new word he learned.
“@#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!”
“Wesley! Don’t use that word, it makes people very sad,” Mom said, trying to appeal to his overwhelming sense of compassion.
“@#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!”
“FRANCIS! DO SOMETHING!”
I started getting nervous when my Mom’s color changed from green to a bright red. I actually didn’t know that Zombies could do that.
“Zombie, you’re going to have to fix this,” my Dad said. “Wesley is as at an age where he’s going to listen to his big brother more than his Mom and Dad.”
“Really?”
Whoa! I have more power than my Mom and Dad? Wow. I wonder what other secrets adults are hiding from us kids.
“Go ahead and try it,” my Dad said. “You’ll see.”
“@#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!, @#$%?&!”
Well, here it goes.
“Wesley, don’t use that word.”
All of a sudden, Wesley got really quiet as he stared at me with his big black eye sockets. Then I could tell he was about to burst out crying.
“Don’t worry, Wesley, we’re bros, right?”
Sniffle, sniffle. “Yayah, weer bros, Zumby.”
Then I gave him a big bros hug.
After my Mom went back to her normal color, I could tell she was about to let out the waterworks too.
“OH, I LOVE MY BOYS SO MUCH!”
Hey, I’m not a hugger, but I knew if I didn’t hug my mom right then, I was going be in some serious trouble for teaching my little brother that colorful new word.
“Come here, Mom.”
HUUUUGGGGG.
Whew! That was close.
Sunday
“Dad, was it really true that your mom made you wash out your mouth with slime, when you used bad words?”
“Sure did. She did it so many times that my tongue turned greener than it usually is.”
Wow. Who would’ve thought my Dad was so cool.
“Where did you learn the bad words from anyway?” I asked.
“Well, there was a new mob kid that moved into my neighborhood. He was a real rebel. His name was Dirk Blazelton. Once he moved in, all the kids on our block were getting their mouths washed out with slime.”
“Whoa.”
“Yeah. Like my Dad always said, ‘It only takes one bad apple to spoil the whole bunch.’”
“Oh, OK, Dad.”
I didn’t really understand what my Dad was talking about. I really don’t like apples.
But I really can’t understand what all the fuss is about.
I mean what’s wrong with bad words anyway?
I bet Steve doesn’t get in trouble for saying bad words. Humans probably use bad words all the time.
Man, humans have the good life.
“By the way, Zombie, did your mother tell you that we’re having a foreign exchange student stay with us for a few weeks?” my Dad asked.
What?!! Aww, man, there goes my booger collection.
“Really Dad? I hope he’s not going to sleep in my room.”
“Well, now that you mention it…”
“UURRGGGHHHHHH!!!!!”
“Don’t worry Zombie, I already spoke to Rajit, and he seems like a really nice kid.”
“Rajit? What kind of name is that? Where’s he from, Dad?”
“His name is Rajit Venkatanarasimharajuvaripeta,” my Mom said as she walked in the room.
“Rajit what?!!”
“Actually, he said that you can call him Raj for short,” my Dad said. “He’s from the Endian Biome.”
I’ve never heard of the Endian Biome before.
“He’s the son of a really famous ambassador from the Endian Biome,” Mom said. “So you should be very proud that
he’s staying at our home.”
Great. An ambassador’s kid. So when he snacks on my booger collection, he’s going to do it with his little pinky finger sticking out.
“Don’t worry, Zombie. It’ll be fun. Plus, if you stay in Wesley’s room it’ll give you a chance to really bond with your little brother.”
“Yeah, OK, Dad.”
Wow. I thought I was done with the drama.
But here we go again.
Monday
“The answer is, GROOWWLLLLLLLL…THIRTEEN!”
“Um. Thank you, Zombie, for your answer,” Ms. Bones said as she gave me a strange look.
Actually all the kids in class were looking at me like I had three eyes. Even the three-eyed kid looked at me strange.
“What’s wrong, Zombie?” Skelee whispered to me.
“GRROOWWLLL. I DON’T KNOW!” I tried to whisper. But I think everyone heard me.
“I know what’s happening,” Creepy whispered. “Your voice is changing. It happens when you go through puberty.”
“Puberty? Aw Man, I thought I was done with that… GROWLLLLL!”
Man, just when I thought I was done with puberty and all the weird things that happen to my body, now I have to deal with…GROWLLLL! this.
Wow, even my thoughts sound different.
I don’t know what it’s like for everybody else, but puberty for a Zombie is not fun.
Besides having my brain shrink to the size of a pea…
Besides one of my legs growing bigger than the other…
Besides growing multi-colored mold all over my body…
And parts of my body smelling different than others...
Now, my voice sounds like I swallowed a cactus.
But the worst change of all is that I’m also growing a new tooth!
Except it’s not green, yellow or brown like my other teeth.
I’m growing a big, straight, white tooth right in the middle of my face, where my favorite hole in my smile was.
And I thought I was going to keep my beautiful baby Zombie smile forever.
Mom said I have to go to the dentist to have it removed.
Except, I don’t know how I feel about the dentist.
I heard they drill in your teeth and stuff, and then you die.
Puberty.
…So, wrong.
Tuesday
“Hey, did you hear about the new mob kid that just transferred to our school?” Skelee asked me at lunch.
“No. Who is it?”
“His name is Blaze Blazelton. He’s a Blaze from the Nether. They said that he was really popular at his old school… Well, at least before it burned down.”
“Whoa.”
Wow. Blaze Blazelton. That is such a cool name. I wish I had a cool name like that.
My name is not cool at all. I mean, what kind of name is Zack? I feel like my Mom and Dad sneezed right before they signed my birth certificate, and that’s what came out.
But I can only imagine what it’d be like to have a really cool name like… Blaze Zombie-ton. Yeah!
If I had a name like that, I would get instant respect.
Or a name like Zander… Or Ace.
Or even Cash! Yeah… Cash Zombie-ton.
Man, I would be a legend.
Just when I thought that, I heard some music.
“BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! ARE YOU READY FOR THIS??!! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!”
I don’t know where the music was coming from, but all of a sudden the cafeteria doors burst open and in walks a mob kid surrounded in a Blaze of Glory.
“That’s him! That’s Blaze!” Skelee said.
Next thing I know all of the mob girls were fainting and falling all over the floor.
Even Sally, my ghoulfriend, looked like she grew her eyeballs back.
Well, if you didn’t know, Sally and I have been on a little break since she got back.
She said something about me being a trouble magnet, and her needing a little less drama in her life since her parents split up.
I was really sorry to hear that her parents split up.
But she said it wasn’t that bad. She actually said it happened a lot.
She said the good thing was they had plenty of extra body parts around the house to put them back together.
But, Man, Blaze made a really great entrance.
All day at school, I couldn’t help thinking what it would be like to be Blaze for a day.
Man, I would be so red hot, not even Zombie Pigmen could handle me.
Wow, that would be the life.
Wednesday
“What’s that on your face?!!!!”
“Look everybody! Zombie’s got a tooth growing out of his mouth!”
“EEEEEEWWWW!!!!”
That’s all I heard when I got to school today.
It seems that my new tooth started growing even more overnight, and now it’s bigger, whiter and brighter than ever.
I looked like I belonged on a human rap video.
Man, I really miss my nice yellow, green and brown smile.
Worst part was that we had a field trip today, so on the bus that’s all the other kids would talk about.
“Hey Zombie! Your teeth are so white, I bet when you close your mouth your eyes light up!”
“Hey Zombie! Your teeth are so white, I bet when you drink water it turns into milk!”
“Hey Zombie! Your teeth are so white, I bet when you walk into a church, everybody says, ‘I see the light!’”
“Hey Zombie! Your teeth are so white, your mouth looks like piano keys!”
“Hey Zombie! Your tooth is so big, I bet when you sneeze you bite a hole in your chest!”
I’m just glad that we were going to the Minecraft Mob Zoo, so the trip was shorter than usual.
The Minecraft Mob Zoo was actually a lot of fun, so it took my mind off of my dumb tooth.
We got a chance to see wild wolves, ocelots, cows, pigs and I even saw a Mooshroom.
But what I really wanted to see was the wild Wither exhibit.
Now, most Withers are tame like my uncle.
But once in a while they capture one in the wild, and it is awesome!
They have to keep it in a cage made of unbreakable glass that is like 20 feet thick, so that it doesn’t blast its way out of there.
Well, at least that’s what Creepy told me.
“Whoa! Look at the size of that thing! It must be 100 feet tall!”
“I don’t think it’s that big, Creepy. Actually the sign says that it’s only about 30 feet tall,” I said.
“Man, it says that this Wither was caught in the Jungle Biome after it destroyed like 20 villages. They had to call in the Zombie Army to catch it,” Slimey said.
“It doesn’t look so tough now… I bet I can jump in there and ride it,” somebody said behind us.
We all turned around and it was Blaze standing behind us with his mini crew of fans.
“That’s because it’s sleeping,” Skelee said.
“Well, let’s wake him up,” Blaze said with an eerie smile.
All of a sudden, Blaze looked around to make sure no one was looking, and then he banged really loud on the glass.
Suddenly the Wither jumped up and hovered in its cage and gave me and the guys a really mean look.
Blaze started making funny faces at it and jumping around, making fun of it.
Then the Wither went crazy! It started to spin and fly around, and then it tried to blast its way out of the cage!
Suddenly an alarm went off in the Zoo, and everyone looked around to find out what was going on.
“ATTENTION! WE NEED EVERYONE TO EVACUATE THE BUILDING. WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY. T
HE ZOMBIE MILITARY HAS BEEN CALLED. WE NEED EVERYONE TO EVACUATE NOW!”
Everybody in the Zoo started to panic. Even the zookeepers looked worried, so I knew it was serious.
Ms. Bones got the whole class together and got us onto the bus quickly, and we drove away.
“What happened in there?!!” Ms. Bones asked all of us.
All the mob kids just looked at her, looking really scared.
“We should tell Ms. Bones what Blaze did,” Creepy whispered to me.
“No way!” I said. “Then everybody will think we’re tattle tales.”
“Yeah, we’re already pretty low on the popularity food chain,” Slimey said.
So we all decided to stay quiet.
I glanced at the back of the bus and saw Blaze looking really proud, and all his groupies were looking at him like he was so brave.
To be honest, it was kinda cool how Blaze made the Wither get all crazy like that.
I wouldn’t have had the guts to do that. Well, being a Zombie I actually don’t have guts to do anything, really.
But man, that guy Blaze is really cool…
Thursday
Today I had to help out at the Principal’s Office as part of the school’s Student Volunteer program.
I had to show some new 7th grade foreign exchange student around school.
I thought that Rajit was the only foreign exchange student I had to deal with this semester. But it seems that there’s a whole bunch of them visiting this year.
“Zombie, it seems that we’re short on volunteers today,” Principal Slime said. “Would you mind helping show one of the new 8th grade transfer students around school?”
“Sure, I can do that.”
“Well, I’m pairing you up with a new mob boy that just transferred to our school. His name is Blaze Blazelton. Unfortunately his school burned down and this was the closest school to his town.”
