Hart & Stocker

by Max Ellendale

  No one said anything, including Macie who stared at the stranger. Pepper yipped, and Dax started, settling only when the puppy returned to chewing on Dax's belt loop.

  The stalemate carried on, until I saw a tear slide out from behind Rowan's glasses. She sniffled, and lifted them to the top of her head before taking a quick swipe at her cheek. Her gaze was on the puppy, rather than Dax. In the silence, the mother and daughter resembled each other more than they should, in my opinion.

  "What do you want?" I finally asked, unable to stand the tension any longer.

  "You've got a puppy?" asked Rowan, her voice hoarse.

  "Gramma, why she is crying?" Macie whispered and Sage shushed her. When she made to stand, Dax's whole body tightened and she looked to Sage. My sister's eyes widened at the response, and ended up sitting back down with Macie in her lap again.

  "It's okay, little one." Mom leaned over and kissed Macie's cheek. "Rowan is Dax's mother."

  "Oh." Macie settled down when one of the goats wandered over to her, and head-butted her shoulder. She giggled then pat it. "I can play, Mommy?"

  "Yes, love." Sage urged Macie up and pointed to where the goats climbed on some wooden boxes. Macie ran off and the goat that bumped her chased her.

  "Why are you here, Mrs. Stocker?" I pressed. "It makes everyone upset when you show up, so I suggest we move this along."

  "I came to speak with my daughter," she said, drawing her gaze from me to Dax.

  "Do you want to talk with her, Dax?" I asked, turning slightly so I could see her again.

  "No," Dax answered right away, and kept her focus on Pepper.

  "We take denials seriously around here, Mrs. Stocker." I kept up the pressure, asserting myself both for Dax and for the situation at hand. She couldn't be allowed to just show up here and upset my girlfriend whenever she wanted. It wasn't fair and Dax always paid the price.

  "Will you listen then?" Rowan asked, again her gaze flickering to the puppy.

  "Are we listening? Because I'm not above declining that, too." I turned to Dax. She met my gaze, her eyes dim with the resignation that often followed her mother's visits. No response followed, and she simply dropped her head on my shoulder as if all the fight had gone out in her. "We're not in the mood for listening either," I said, meeting Rowan's gaze.

  "Alright," she conceded, slowly rolling to stand. Grass stained the knees of her pants, and marred the image of her purity. "I'm sorry." She met my mother's gaze. "For all of it. For everything you've said I've done."

  "It isn't me who needs to hear your apology, Rowan." Mom stood with her. "When she's ready, it has to be on her terms."

  "Okay." Rowan took a breath, glancing down at us. Pepper turned and made a grab for the loose portion of Rowan's pants, giving them a few quick tugs. Dax lifted the puppy away, cradling her to her chest. She met her mother's gaze, her brows narrowed as if she expected the woman to kick the dog. "I'm glad you have another dog. Sadie—" Rowan lost it at that point, covering her mouth as she started to cry. "Was a good girl."

  And Dax lost it, too. She curled up against me with Pepper close to her face and burst into quiet tears. I hugged her and Sage moved to kneel beside us. She gathered me and Dax in her arms as Mom led Rowan away. Dax allowing Sage to protect us with a physical barrier both surprised me and told me just how much Dax valued my family. On some level, they made her feel safe, too.

  Macie returned, her pace slow and cautious as she approached. "Don't cry." She knelt down beside Dax and patted her on the shoulder. "Puppies are for happy days."

  Dax laughed at that, sniffling as she looked up at the kid. "Thank you, Macie."

  "Pepper drinks your tears. Look." She pointed at Pepper as she licked the damp spot on my shirt. We all laughed at that. "She wants you to feel better."

  "She's helping," answered Dax, unable to refuse the kid.

  I blinked away my tears as I ran my fingers through Dax's hair, and glanced over to see Mom talking to Rowan beside her car. I still couldn't make out what they were saying, but I could see that she was crying still. Mom's harsh handling faded some, and she gave Rowan's shoulder a squeeze.

  "Why don't we go inside," suggested Sage. "I'm sure Pepper could use a snack."

  "I could use a snack, too." Macie hopped up and waved at us. "C'mon, let's go."

  "We'll be right there." I told her, smiling at the way Macie tried to cheer up Dax. Sage nodded and urged Macie along. I helped Dax to stand, and she fixed her hat while keeping Pepper close to her chest. "I got you."

  "I know," she said, slipping her arm around my waist as we headed inside.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Dax stayed in bed later than usual the next morning and when I returned from showering, I found her curled up with Pepper under her chin. The puppy slept on her back, tummy exposed, and as content as can be. I smiled at the two of them, then kissed each of them on the nose. Dax peeked her eyes open, then grabbed me down into the puppy pile. I spooned her, wrapping her in my arms as I kissed the back of her neck.

  "Talk to me, honey. You're usually up at the crack of dawn," I said, rubbing her bare belly while I continued to kiss down her shoulder.

  "Want to go for a hike today?" she asked, her voice groggy.

  "Sure do. I'd go anywhere with you."

  "Skydiving?"

  "Er…"

  Dax laughed softly, leaning down to kiss my hand. "Knew it."

  "Wicked." I chuckled while giving her a squeeze. "I'll feed Pepper and make us some snacks to take with us."

  "Okay," she said, scruffing the puppy's stomach. She swatted her paws, her tail flopping happily on the mattress.

  "She's so cute." I grinned down at her then patted the bed to grab her attention. "Hungry, Pepper? Breakfast?" I turned my voice up at the end and she hopped up, excitement widening her eyes.

  "Seems so." Dax smiled at her as we sat up. "I'm gonna shower."

  "Okay, honey." I smooched her cheek then patted her hip as I moved from the bed. "Come." Pepper didn't hesitate to bolt toward me, pausing by the edge of the blankets. I lifted her down, then continued to call to her while I led her to the kitchen.

  Rudy's bowls now sat on the counter where he waited for me to pour his sustenance. Pepper scurried to her bowls the moment I scooped in her kibble with a dash of wet food. She didn't hesitate, and I kept an eye on her while I gathered up her harness and leash for a walk.

  "Willa?" called Dax from the hall.

  "Yeah, honey?" I peeked around the door to see her standing with her towel in front of her.

  "Will you come with me if I talk to my mother?"

  "Of course, Dax." My heart swelled in my chest and immediately, my throat squeezed with emotions I'd kept at bay in her presence. Dax's pain over the way her mother treated her broke my heart for her. I wanted nothing more than to make it better, and defend her to the ends of the earth.

  "Okay," she said, and disappeared into the bathroom.

  I took a deep breath, composing myself as I made for the fridge to prepare some lunch for us to take on our hike.

  An hour later, we were halfway up the trail with Pepper leading her first ever hike. In her purple reflective harness that doubled as a life jacket, she scuttled along at the end of the leash held in Dax's hand. I carried the backpack with snacks and water, while Dax had the other with emergency supplies and blankets. Our feet crunched on the rocky dirt slope as we headed up the trail. The hot sun and sweet summer-kissed earth lifted my spirits some. It seemed to do the same for Dax.

  "Where did you get that?" asked Dax, gesturing to the empty pack that hung in front of my chest, the straps clipped to my backpack. It had the same make up of a small reversed backpack with head and arm holes, perfect for toting tired puppies when they ran out of steam.

  "My truck. I have all sorts of gear. People donate stuff, and I keep it on hand in case I find strays," I explained.

  "Nerd," she said, bumping my elbow with hers.

  "Wait until you see the doggy water b
ottle."

  She laughed and I winked at her.

  We spent half an hour or so working our way toward the peak that overlooked Dax's property. Mist rose from the lake in the distance, and the fields spread out for acres around us. Esteban rode Carol around the pumpkin patch, and the happy horse enjoyed her time with him and the freedom the open space offered her.

  We took a break for lunch a while after, and set ourselves down in the small clearing. Pepper drank from the water bottle with the small bowl on top, then I tucked her in the pouch to give her time to rest. Her harness clipped to the hook inside, and her small size allowed enough space for her to curl up and relax.

  "That is ridiculously adorable," said Dax as she examined the backpack. "You've turned us into stereotypical lesbians."

  "Honey, are you coming out to me?" I gasped, covering my mouth with my hands. That earned me a swat and I laughed.

  "No. Jerk." She smirked, scooting closer to me on the rock where we sat. "Still bi."

  "I love you." I kissed her cheek and her face tinged pink. "Just as you are."

  "I know." She leaned her forehead against mine for a moment, her eyes on the puppy. "Ever go to Seattle Pride?" she asked, opening the backpack with the food and pulling out two sandwiches. She handed me one and I accepted it. Pepper immediately sat up and sniffed our hands.

  "Just once. Do you want to go? It's next weekend." I plucked the small bag of kibble from my pocket and offered Pepper some while I ate the turkey sandwich. She accepted the kibble for now, though her interest in people food didn't fade for long.

  "Maybe…"

  The picture of a happy young Dax in rookie blues on the wall of Wildrose flashed across my mind. "Did you used to go?" I nudged her and her gaze flickered to mine.

  "Yeah."

  "Do you want to go, baby?" I turned on the rock, swinging my leg over one side so that Dax sat between my knees, Pepper the nosey pup in between us.

  "Kind of."

  "Then let's go." I smiled at her, wagging my brows. "Maybe I'll wear rainbow pasties for you."

  She laughed at that, her expression brightening. "Would you?"

  "At Pride I would."

  "Done deal," she said, leaning over to kiss me in between bites of her sandwich.

  "You know, honey, sometimes I get the feeling that you were a very social, very outgoing person before the world betrayed your trust. And now, you're wanting some of that back again." I nudged the brim of her hat back to reveal more of her face. "True or false?"

  "Partially true." She chewed her bite of ham sandwich, then spoke after swallowing. "I don't just want it back. I want it back with you. You make me want things."

  "You make me want things, too." Her words lifted me up higher than the mountainside where we sat together. "So many things."

  "I think you're good for me." Her grin, radiant in the summer sun, lifted her cheeks and urged her green eyes to almond-shapes.

  "I think you're good for me, too. We're a pair. You made me comfortable so quickly. Still do. I've never, partially, lived with anyone before. Not that we live together but I hardly ever go home," I said, offering her a bag of chips when I tugged it from the backpack. Pepper snooped it immediately and attempted to bite the crunchy material.

  "We unofficially U-Hauled ourselves," she teased. "In like three months."

  "To be fair, we were pretty balanced until you got hurt and I took the week off." I stroked her head where the bump nearly faded completely by then.

  "That's true." She leaned into my touch, quieting for a moment while we ate together, listening to the afternoon birdsong.

  "So, you've thought about talking to your mom?" I asked, broaching the subject delicately.

  "Yeah. Hearing your mom tear her down, and then seeing you setting boundaries…" She shrugged, glancing at me. "Seemed helpful."

  "I didn't expect her to respect any of what I said," I admitted.

  "Me either. When she said Sadie's name though…" Dax lowered her sandwich to her lap at that point then reached over to stroke Pepper. "She seemed hurt by it, too."

  "Maybe she needed someone like my mom to point it out?" I shrugged while watching her to gauge her reaction to the conversation. "She trusted her at some point."

  "Yeah." She met my gaze, reaching out to stroke my cheek. "And I feel supported by you, baby," she said, pausing for a moment. "For the first time in my life, I have someone who supports me."

  "I'm happy to hear that." I held her hand to my face then kissed it. "You are supported. By me and the whole family."

  She nodded, her eyes twinkling with the reflection of the crisp blue sky. "It's really nice."

  "If I could've given you anything in this world, Dakota Stocker, feeling supported is one of the top three." I leaned in to catch her in a kiss.

  Her lips moved with mine as her body pressed closer to us. Every inch of me tingled with warmth and our connection flickered with heat. A cold nose paired with sloppy licks ended it when Pepper forced her way between us. We burst out laughing as the puppy manically kissed our faces, one after the other then back again, with her tail wagging at warp speed.

  "Gah!" Dax sputtered when Pepper got her nose.

  "Oh my God." I cracked up, holding Pepper so she didn't fall from her pouch.

  These moments, the silly bits of joy that Dax brought to my life, warmed places left cold in my heart. Her body burned against mine, her fingers laced with sparks of electricity every time she touched me. I could only hope that she shared my sentiment, and would do so everlasting.

  ***

  "Your sister is okay watching Pepper?" Dax squeezed my hand hard as we walked up the sidewalk that lined a row of exquisite houses nestled in the suburbs of Seattle. My fingers ached from her grip but I didn't dare disrupt it.

  "Sage's house is a ready-made puppy palace. Child proof cabinets and wires, fenced in yard, gates on every set of stairs, every door." I smiled as I moved closer to her. "And the perfect babysitter who will never let her out of her sight."

  "Macie is really good with her." Dax walked with my arm in front of her as we neared her mother's house.

  "She is. Between Sage's animal expertise that mirrors mine, her house, and Macie, we're good, honey."

  "Okay." She took a deep breath, and when her pace slowed as we approached a fancy two-story house with a vast driveway, I knew we'd arrived. Her whole body tensed and she pulled me to a stop.

  "I'm here with you, Dax." I moved to stand in front of her, taking both of her hands in mine. "Look at me." When she did, her lips pressed to a thin line and her expression hardened. "You're not alone. I'm here with you. Okay?"

  She nodded, her nostrils flaring when she drew a deep breath.

  "Safe with me…" I rested my forehead against hers and she closed her eyes as if to center herself. "Safe together."

  "Safe with you," she whispered, nodding again as we broke apart. I kept a hold of one of her hands and noted how her right hand fell to the gun on her hip. As before, the cop in her rose to the surface. The way she walked hardened, her stance confident and strong, broadening her posture as we made for the driveway.

  We walked past the parked BMW and followed the path that led to the bungalow in the back of the yard, several meters from the main house. A huge blue dumpster, nearly filled to the top, sat positioned in front of it. Dax stared, her eyes focused on the small structure ahead as if she faced a target at a shooting range. I let her move at her own pace, giving her hand a squeeze. The gesture seemed to unlock her and she continued toward the quaint guest house with me in tow.

  Dax paused by the front door, staring at the grass beside unkempt greenery. She swiped at her nose before shoving open the unlocked door.

  Half of the house had absolutely nothing in it save for bare walls and wooden floors. Boxes and totes filled the other half, lining the kitchen counters. Most of the walls and flooring appeared replaced and repainted. Dax stopped in the space that divided the living area from the kitchen, glancing around the va
cant apartment. In my mind, I envisioned what she saw, whatever memories flooded her. A tear slipped down her cheek, and I shifted to hug her from behind. She held onto my arms, nodding as if she understood my gesture without me having to say a word.

  "What's it like for you being here?" I asked, and she leaned into me.

  "I expected worse," she said, nudging my head with hers.

  "There's only memories here now, baby."

  "I killed him there." She pointed to the space beside the bathroom door. "Right there."

  "How do you feel about him being dead now?" I asked, cautious of the way I phrased my questions.

  "Safe." She turned in my arms to face me. "I couldn't live, Willa, knowing he was alive. I couldn't."

  "I don't think I could either, knowing there was a potential for someone to come after you."

  "Or you. Or anyone else I loved. Your family." She tucked my hair behind my ears in a gesture of caretaking. "Him being dead protects you, too."

  "I agree." I urged her into a hug and she sighed against my neck. "I know it sounds harsh, but I'm happy he's gone from this world, Dax."

  "Me too." She released me, sniffling as she headed over to the boxes in the kitchen. She sifted through a few of them, and I joined her to look on.

  Photographs of Dax and a variety of people filled one box, similar to the ones on the screen at Wildrose. Another carried a few books, and what looked like award certificates. The rest held knickknacks and some dishes.

  "Is all of this yours?" I asked.

  "Yeah. I don't want any of it though." She dusted off her hands on her jeans. "Mom can deal with it." Her gaze lifted to mine and her shoulders broadened as if her inhale brought credence to her stride. "Let's head up to the house."