Flawed Choices: A Bully Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  Again, I have been in schools with people just like them. They think they are gods. That there are no consequences in what they do.

  I take a sip of my drink. “I know people like them. I don’t know if they’re worse or not but I will try and stay clear.” I’m saying this more to myself than to her.

  “Good, because I don’t want you to be on their shit list. And Kimberly can be one cruel bitch when she wants to be. It’s good to stay on her good side.”

  I bob my head up and down. “I get it. I should have moved once I saw them, but I have this impulse…” I cut myself off. I don’t want to get into my flaws. I know she’s a little scared of them. I don’t want to lose the only friend I may have because of my past tendencies.

  “Just be careful when you’re around them. It's best, if you do see them, to walk in the opposite direction. If you stay invisible you will have no problems.”

  That is what I want to be right now.

  Invisible.

  I open my bag of chips taking one then extending the bag to her as I know she didn’t grab anything for lunch. She smiles at me before helping herself.

  “Thank you,” I say to her.

  She cocks her head to the side. “What for?”

  “For looking out for me. For being my tour guide.” We both chuckle. “I have had tour guides show me to one class and then disappear.”

  She nudges her shoulder with mine. “Well, I guess you’re stuck with me.”

  But for how long?

  Chapter Three

  The day finishes with no drama and I haven’t seen the girly trio since the little incident at lunch. I have been fighting with myself since though. I really could hit myself for the way that I acted.

  I just had to move.

  But no, I had to act all high and mighty and piss off people I shouldn’t be pissing off. It's my fucking last chance and with just a few hours of stepping into school, it's like I wanted a fight.

  Making sure I have everything, I follow Aisha to the parking lot to her car once our last class finishes. I don’t know much about cars but I know this one looks expensive.

  “Nice car,” I tell her.

  “Thanks. It was my eighteenth birthday present. I love it so much, that I get it cleaned every single week.” She pats it like she’s patting a dog.

  My car is at my parents’. It’s there for a reason; I didn’t want that reason to follow me here. “Do you live far?”

  We both lean gently against the bonnet. “About fifteen minutes away. You?”

  I raise my hand, pointing my thumb behind me. “I live in the apartment complex just off campus. I moved there just a few days ago.” Once I unpacked my things three days ago, I never left until today.

  I only left because I had to.

  She steps in front of me and takes my hands. “Holy shit. The knights live there too. Please, please, please, if you see them, you just smile nicely. Don’t make eye contact and don’t get in their way. They are the elite guys I was telling you about. They’re in charge of everything. The kings of this place. I’m sure there is something going on between Kimberly and Axel.”

  “I am meant to smile nicely as I stare at the ground and make sure I don’t bang into them?” I chuckle.

  She looks at me seriously. “Bang is one way to put it. Those three do try and sleep with every girl that crosses their path. They have been sleeping with college girls since high school and I’m sure they sleep with older women now too.”

  “But I thought you said there’s something going on between this Axel guy and Kimberly?”

  She rolls her eyes at me. “Yeah. I think she allows it, letting him sow his wild oats, but everyone knows that they’re going to get together and get married and have all the power over this town. It’s like destiny. But she is very close to Lucas, they grew up together. He is the head guy of the three but he is untamable. He doesn’t let any girl get close to him unless it's sex-related.”

  “So, Axel and Kimberly have some sort of an arranged marriage?”

  “Kimberly turns a blind eye if Axel sleeps with someone at this school but if she feels it’s more than just a one night stand, then trust me, you don’t want to get in her way. That girl has serious jealousy issues if she feels threatened.”

  I bet she has daddy issues.

  I wave her off. “I’m not that kind of girl. I don’t drop my knickers over a cute smile or a few sweet words. If either of them hit on me I will make it clear I’m not interested…” I don’t get to finish as Aisha takes hold of my shoulders and shakes me.

  “You can’t just say to them that you’re not interested, then they will see you as a challenge.”

  I sigh. “Then what do you want me to do?”

  She ponders it over and shrugs. “I actually don’t know. Just don’t catch their attention. Shit, you’re the new girl and already had a run-in with Kimberly and you’re the talk of the school at the moment so that might not be easy.” She places her hand on her hip, looking up at the sky. “Maybe you should just be a bitch? No guy likes bitchy girls, right? It explains why none of the guys slept with the elite girls so it makes sense.”

  “Isn’t elite what people say to the popular people at private schools?”

  “I don’t know but it’s what people started calling them when mentioning them and it stuck, but they call the guys when they aren’t with the girls, the knights. Only because they act like a knight in shining armor, telling you what you want to hear, pretending to be the good guy, but trust me, it’s all an act.”

  “Have you slept with any of the guys?”

  She laughs. “Hell no. I went to high school with them all. They don’t see me like that and I know what they’re like so I wouldn’t go there. Most women know what they’re like and yet act surprised when they get ignored after their night or day of passion.”

  “I guess most girls think that they can tame the bad boy. You read it in books and watch it in movies. One special girl will make the guy change their ways so they can be together. It's all fairy tales, really. Even if the guy did change, all it then takes is for them to get bored and see a new shiny toy, break the poor girl's heart and move on to the next person they think they’ve fallen for.” I shake my head.

  “Has that happened to you?” Her voice softens.

  I smile. “No, don’t worry. I haven’t had a boyfriend since I was fifteen. I did have a friend with benefits a couple of years ago but then I moved away.”

  “It is definitely fate that we have been brought together. Like I said earlier, I don’t do boyfriends either. I don’t want one until I finish college and have a career. I don’t want a guy to ruin that or to hurt me. I think watching the people around me has taught me not to go near men from here.” She looks around her before looking back at me.

  I press my hand to my chest. “A girl after my own heart. I am not in the mood for romance. I’d rather read a book than experience the real thing. At least in a book, they get a happy ever after.” I quickly take out my phone and pass it to Aisha. “Type in your number so we can keep in touch. Want to meet here tomorrow at eight-forty-five?”

  She types in her number and then I hear her phone beep with an incoming message; it was her sending my number to her, then she passes my phone back. “Yup, sounds great. Remember if you have any questions or problems, get in touch.”

  “I will.” We smile at each other then I watch her get into her car and drive away.

  I take my earbuds out of my bag and play some music while I walk back to the place I’m staying until I graduate or get kicked out.

  Yeah, think positive. That’s the spirit. I see my inner self rolling her eyes at me.

  It doesn’t take long until I’m in front of the tall building that is my apartment complex. I decide to take the stairs; I just want to keep moving for that little bit longer. I don’t like staying still for long. I have to be doing something. Even if it's listening to something or watching TV. I can’t be alone and have nothing to do as that
’s when I start to overthink, and sometimes it's hard to get out of my own head.

  I am almost on the fifth floor; my place is on the seventh. I’m looking down at my phone, going through my music list, when I see something from the corner of my eye and I notice a couple at it in the corner.

  The girl has her skirt pulled up to her waist, her knickers around one ankle. The guy has his jeans and boxers down to his feet, showing off his bare ass.

  I will admit, it’s a very good ass.

  Music is still playing in my ears; it’s why I didn’t hear them. The girl’s head is thrown back in ecstasy. I’m sure her moans are loud. I walk past them, heading up the next set of stairs. Before I round the corner, I look down, my eyes connecting with intense green ones.

  He’s watching me while he fucks her. His eyes trail my entire body, appraising me, and I start to feel a little uncomfortable. I don’t know why I’m still standing here while he’s inside a girl.

  I shake my head and continue my climb. I’m grateful when I reach my floor. I walk quickly to my door and let myself in. Once the door is closed, I lean back, setting my things down to the floor.

  Chapter Four

  I can’t believe what I just saw.

  Who has sex in a stairway?

  Maybe they like the idea of getting caught, or they don’t care at all. I guess if you are in the throes of passion you just go with the flow. I have read in many books people having sex in public places, I just don’t think I would ever have the nerve to do something like that.

  I like to think I’m a confident person, but just like any other girl, there are some things I would like to change. Like your crazy brain. My mind snickers at me.

  Looks are always just skin deep, I like to think if you’re ugly on the inside, it won’t take long until you see it on the outside.

  I sigh, looking down at myself. Walking past the living area to my bedroom, I look at myself in the long mirror on my wall. I pose side to side, checking myself over. I wouldn’t classify myself as beautiful like the ‘elite girls’ but I feel all right with myself.

  Shaking my head, I lie on my bed that’s opposite my mirror, staring at the ceiling. I can’t help but think about the couple. There is no way I could have sex in a place that’s so open, even if I wanted it bad enough. I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it as I would be thinking more about someone catching us than the pleasure.

  Gah, why I am even thinking about this?

  What they do is their own business, but if I catch them at it again, I think I will have to start taking the elevator.

  Unless they do it in the elevator also.

  God, I could take a nap right about now. My body clock is out of sync. I guess staying up late and sleeping all day is finally catching up with me. It was only four weeks ago since I got kicked out of my last college.

  Images flash into my head. I quickly sit up and head back into the living area. This is why I can’t stay still for long. My brain starts to think about the past, things I want to forget about.

  I stand in the middle of the room, fisting my hair when my body instantly relaxes when I hear my phone ringing. I quickly take it if from my pocket, seeing my mom's name appear on the screen.

  “Hey, mom. Don’t worry, I haven’t been kicked out yet,” I say sarcastically.

  “Oh, very funny, haha. How was your first day?”

  “It was like all my first days. Fine.” I walk over to the couch and take a seat, tucking my legs underneath me.

  I can picture her rolling her eyes at my comment. I get my eye-rolling from her. “Have you made any friends? Any people you know you need to avoid? Start any fights?”

  Kimberly enters my mind. “I made one friend. She is very talkative but she’s friendly. She told me who to stay away from after I met the queen bee.”

  There’s a pause. “You were with a queen bee?” My mom worries about me, way too much, but I have given her good reason to. “Lucille, it's your first day and you already bumped into one?”

  “It wasn’t like I planned it. I sat down at the wrong table…”

  “Oh, and let me guess, you back talked didn’t you? She asked you to move and you didn’t.”

  Yeah, she knows me too well.

  I huff. “I did eventually. I just don’t get why they have to claim shit. There were plenty of seats…”

  “Don’t cuss when you talk to me please, and you know you didn’t care that there were other seats, you wanted to irritate her. You enjoy pushing their buttons so it gives you a reason to act out when they take your bait. Yeah, the it crowd may be assholes, but if they don’t cause a fight with you, why do you have to make them? Why can’t you just stay away?”

  I know everything she’s saying is true. I just know if it's not me they’re messing with, it’s someone else. Why should someone who can’t stick up for themselves get punished because they cross the popular crowd the wrong way? “Mom, you know I don’t mean to. You know it’s just something…”

  “No, it's not.” She interrupts again. “Honey, this is it for you. This is your last chance to graduate from college. It's just a few months. You said you have a friend. Just stick to her, make plans, go to parties, enjoy the college experience. You can’t save the world, sweetie. You can’t save everyone and sometimes the people you’re around don’t need saving.”

  Tears prickle my eyes. Sometimes you can’t see who needs saving.

  “You know I’m going to try. Sometimes it's just so hard. You know that.” A tear slides down my cheek.

  “I know, sweetie. I get it, you know I do, but none of us can change the past. All we can do now is think of the future and I want you to have an amazing one. I want all these doors to open for you. You are beautiful, smart, caring; sometimes too caring. You can be happy if you really try to be.”

  I nod even though she can’t see me. I wipe away the tears with the back of my sleeve. “You always tell me this.”

  “I think I need to keep saying it so you can let it really sink in. I love you. Your father loves you. You are our world. But please stay out of trouble. Maybe you can have the good kind of trouble but stay away from the bad kind,” she jokes.

  I laugh. “Okay. I’m going to go to parties, get drunk, and kiss some boys.”

  “Remember sweetie, no glove, no love. I saw that on Facebook.” She chuckles.

  Oh my God. Please tell me my mom didn’t say that. “You need to stay away from social media, Mother, and please don’t say that again.” I shiver.

  I can picture her smiling. God, I miss her and Dad. Can’t wait until I see them again. Which will probably be when I graduate. “I’m just saying, Lucille, I’m too young to be a grandmother. And make sure they do the chasing, make them work for it…”

  This time I interrupt her. “Right, I’m hanging up now.”

  “Make them come to you, no pun intended.”

  “Bye.”

  “Love you, sweetie.” We hang up.

  I look at my phone for a moment before laying it beside me. At least the phone call ended on a good note, but no parent should say stuff about sex to their kid.

  I stretch out my legs and place them on the wooden coffee table is in front of me. Grabbing the remote, I put on Netflix to clear the sex talk. What is it about today and sex? I go through the movies and series and decide on The Russian Doll.

  I’m halfway through the series and can’t wait to see how it ends.

  I stay up until the last episode is finished then head to bed. All I’m thinking about is that it’s four days until the weekend. Just four more days until I can hide out here for two.

  I get showered and get into a tank top and shorts. Once I’m under the sheets, my body rejoices. It doesn’t take long until I’m taken into a deep sleep.

  I jump then I hear a bang. With my whole body on alert, I grab the baseball bat that I keep hidden under my bed next to a box of supplies that I may need in future. Standing, I tiptoe to my bedroom door, peeking my head out, gripping the bat tighter. />
  I know I locked the door.

  Walking farther out, I keep my ears peeled for any movement or sound. But nothing. I check everywhere but no one is here. I double-check the front door and it is definitely locked. I check every window.

  Did I dream it?

  I’m about to go back to bed when I hear another bang. I realize it’s coming from the place below me. What are they doing down there? Are they throwing things at their ceiling? I don’t even know what time it is. I look over to the clock hanging on the wall to see it's just before three.

  You’ve got to be kidding me.

  It’s a fucking Monday night. This is a place for students. Who stays awake at this time? It is just a few bangs, it's not constant. Maybe I should just ignore it and go to bed.

  I don’t really want to be knocking on people’s doors. They could be having a party and might not hear me knocking anyway. But if that is the case, I feel sorry for their neighbors who are on the same floor.

  I hear another bang and I know it's going to frustrate me.

  If I didn’t promise that I would ‘try’ to my mother, I would bang on their door. On cue, another bang.

  How am I meant to sleep with that happening?

  Grabbing my earbuds, I shut my bedroom door, climb back into bed and play the music high enough so I don’t really hear the thumping sounds. I know I’m going to need a strong cup of coffee in the morning.

  It feels like ages until sleep takes me again, but when it does, I thank the Lord.

  Chapter Five

  My alarm wakes me. I open my eyes, wanting to sleep some more. It feels like I’ve been asleep for ten minutes. I hope whoever lives downstairs is hungover and suffering. I’m just praying that last night was a one-off thing as I can't live waking up every night at that time of the morning.

  I drag my body out of bed. It doesn’t take me long to get washed and dressed. I normally know what I’m going to wear for the day and I’m not that kind of girl who spends hours getting ready. I wear little make-up, always keeping to the natural look. If you asked me to contour and highlight, I wouldn’t know how.