Flawed Choices: A Bully Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  “We know your bestie is off sick so we thought we would be your new class buddies for the time being. I hope you take good notes, little one, as I’m going to enjoy being this close to you, to feel your heat radiating from you. I won’t be able to pay attention.” His eyes trail my body.

  I scoff at him. “You three are so immature.”

  “Says you who has a comeback for everything we do or say.” Elijah leans forward, looking at me before sitting back in his seat.

  I bite my lip, trying not to have a comeback for that. He has got me there. I do like having the last word. I sit watching people walk up the steps, getting to their seats, seeing me sitting where I’m sitting.

  I realize this is what it's going to be like when I say I will join them. I bet they are sneakily trying to make me join without me even realizing that they’re doing it. But today at lunch was all me, so maybe I’m overthinking that.

  I don’t think they are enough smart to think of that.

  I know I’m immature; it comes with the territory with me. But these three are just idiots.

  I take out my laptop, starting it up, and I try and pay attention to what the professor says. I am a fast typist, but I have him recorded in case I miss anything.

  I’m concentrating when I feel a hand on my leg. I turn to Axel who is staring forward, his facial features impassive but his fingers are stroking along my thigh. I grab his hand, stopping him, then it’s a tug of war trying to pull him away from me.

  He finally gives in and pulls his hand back. I lean forward a little so I’m putting some distance between us. I close my eyes for a moment before I start typing again. My body freezes when I feel two sets of hands on the bottom of my back, stroking along my skin softly.

  I try and swat their hands away but they don’t let up, I hate that my body is starting to shiver from their contact. I sit back but I jump when Lucas and Axel pin my legs open. I try and sit forward but I can’t. I try and push them at the same time without drawing attention to myself but I’m trapped.

  I look around me but no one is looking our way at the moment. I think unless someone was really looking they wouldn’t see what they are doing. They both lean their bodies so they’re facing me more but their eyes are faced forward. They use their spare hands to glide along my thigh, reaching higher and higher to a place they better not dare touch.

  I whisper to them to stop but they don’t listen to me. They then start to squeeze my upper legs, massaging me there, going higher and higher, and when I think they will touch me in my personal area, they move away from it.

  They keep doing it, even though I try and close my legs. It starts to feel really good. My body starts to betray me and enjoy their touch, the feel of them and the ache I felt yesterday at the library with Axel starts.

  I can feel the heat rise from my chest to my face. I think I’ve stopped fighting them. I just sit there, biting my lip, looking straight ahead. I crouch down a little, and once I do, I regret it. It opens me open even wider to them.

  I can’t believe they’re touching me like this in a full classroom of students and a professor teaching. A pulsing starts, and all I want to do is close my legs even more. I’m trying to control my breathing.

  When the class is dismissed. I push them away as hard as I can. I stand up, grabbing my things, glaring at them both. I’m expecting to see smirks but they aren’t smiling. They’re looking at me with hooded eyes. I don’t mean to but I can see the outline of their erections.

  They were turned on?

  They were turned on by touching me, even though it was me feeling it all. I have no words. If they were smirking, I would have used anger but I was not expecting this.

  I run out of the room. I run past students, bumping into people, but I run until I reach the girls’ bathroom. I walk to the far wall, pressing my head against the cold tile.

  I’m fucked up.

  Why did I enjoy that?

  They went over the line by doing that.

  But I think they weren’t expecting that outcome as I could see the confusion in their eyes also. I hate them. I really do, but they are starting to get under my skin.

  These men, these strangers, stand for everything I hate.

  I just can’t wait for this day to finally end.

  During the last classes, I avoided them. I made sure they had no chance to make me sit with them again. When we get dismissed, I can’t leave fast enough. Instead of heading straight out, I go to the library.

  I know they will think I will be heading home, but I’m going to wait here for an hour. Hopefully, they will think they just missed me.

  I sit in eyesight of the librarian. I’m not being on my own. I take out my recorder and type up the stuff I blanked out when I was getting felt up.

  After forty-five minutes, I pack up my things and head home. I take a slow walk, listening to The Greatest Showman soundtrack. I let the words take over me. When I reach the building, I take in a deep breath and walk up the stairs until I reach my floor. When I get to my door, there is a note stuck to it.

  I take it down, walking inside. I place my things on the breakfast island. I flop on the couch, and the first thing I look at is the roses. They never even brought up the flowers, asking if I got them or even liked them.

  I open the note for it to tell me that they will see me in the morning.

  Oh, no they won’t. I am leaving thirty minutes early.

  They can’t tell me what to do.

  I have an early night. I message Aisha, asking if she’s okay and if she’s feeling better, then I go straight to sleep when my head hits the pillow. It doesn’t take long until darkness takes over and I pass out into a deep sleep.

  I wake up in a daze. I notice it’s still night time and I look at my phone to see I have a message from Aisha but it's on silent. Something woke me up and I don’t know what. I close my eyes, ready to get more sleep, when I hear a banging noise on my front door.

  I drag my heavy body out of bed, shuffling to the door. I open it to see Elijah standing there. Well, swaying. He smiles when he sees me, but I notice his eyes are bloodshot and he looks like he has been crying.

  “Hey, beautiful.” He slurs. “Even in your nightwear, you look like an angel. So pretty. So pure.” A tear slides down his cheek.

  Something inside me calls out to him, to look after him. I walk to his side, taking his arm and wrapping it around my shoulder, while I hold onto his waist, bringing him inside. We walk over to the couch, and he sits down sluggishly.

  I walk over to the kitchen, turning on the kettle and getting him a glass of water. I walk over and see him bent over, his arms leaning on his knees. I place the drink on the table, rubbing his back.

  Something has happened. I can see the pain in his eyes.

  He sits up straighter turning to me, his eyes piercing mine. I have seen him as a jokester. He's the playful one, but right now, he looks sad, a little broken. I know what it's like to be just that.

  “Why are you being so nice to me? I thought you would have slammed the door on my face.” He hiccups on the last word.

  I grab the water and place it in his hands. “In normal circumstances, I would have, especially since you disturbed my beauty sleep.” I try and joke to ease the atmosphere.

  He takes a sip, looking at me. “You don’t need beauty sleep. You are already beautiful.” His voice is soft. “So, because you see me like this, you let me in? Even though me and my friends are tormenting you?”

  “I’m not going to send you away like this, even though you and your friends are assholes. I just want to make sure you’re okay.” We go silent. “Are you okay?”

  He snorts. “Now that is the million-dollar question.” He takes another sip. I hear the kettle so I stand but he takes hold of my hand. “Thank you.”

  I give him a nod and I make him a coffee while I opt for tea.

  I set our drinks down and wait for him to say something, anything. I want to know why he is upset, but I don’t want to pry
. It's not my business to ask but I don’t want him to go until I know he is going to be okay.

  “It's my mother’s anniversary,” he says. “She died three years ago.” Oh, shit. I didn’t expect that. “We were so close. Dad is always working, but Mom was just always there. One day she was coming back from getting her hair done as she was going to this grand charity ball and she wanted to look her best, even though she always looked her best. On her way back, a drunk driver crashed into her. She died instantly. The drunk driver lived, just a few broken bones and bruises, but that son of a bitch lived while my mother… my mother…” His lips shake, more tears falling down his cheeks.

  I pull him to me, and he cries into my chest, tugging on my tank. I stroke his hair, trying to comfort him. I wonder why he came here, why here came to me. But I guess because I don’t really know him, and he doesn’t really know me, sometimes it's better to offload to a stranger than to someone you know.

  We stay like that until he stops. I keep stroking his hair, telling him that it will be okay, even though I don’t know if it will be for him. I can’t imagine losing my mother. I know it would break my heart if she was no longer here.

  Elijah finally sits up a little, looking at me. I use my thumbs to wipe away his tears. I stroke his cheeks, smiling softly at him. He looks into my eyes, searching for something. Then he leans in and presses his lips to mine.

  The kiss is so soft and gentle. When his mouth moves, I follow his lead, I close my eyes, kissing him back. It's just for a few moments before he pulls back. We just look at one another.

  Right now, I feel closer to him. He’s broken. He is never going to feel whole. That is the connection that’s wrapping around us both, but I know that connection will soon end. Come tomorrow, he will hide away behind his friends, his jokes and laughs.

  “I’m sorry I woke you,” he whispers.

  “It's okay,” I whisper back.

  He moves so his head is in my lap. I grab the blanket I left yesterday over him. I clumsily grab the remote from the coffee table, putting on Netflix when I sit back. I just stroke his hair while I put a comedy on.

  He soon falls asleep. I can hear is breathing coming steadily. I don’t really want to move in case I wake him and I don’t want him to be on his own either in case he wakes up upset again. I decide to sleep as I am. I close my eyes, letting the TV be background noise, but it doesn’t take long until I manage to fall asleep again.

  Chapter Thirteen

  I groan when I feel something move me a little. When I feel it again, I wake up, opening my heavy eyes to see I’m lying down on the couch. I remember I was sitting up. It takes a moment for my brain to start working but then I realize Elijah is lying behind me, spooning me. I turn a little to see he is still fast asleep. I must have somehow moved at some point.

  I feel his arm around my middle, pulling my body close to him like he is holding onto me for dear life. I try and slide myself out but then I feel his arm tighten and I know I must have woken him.

  I turn around so we’re facing each other and he gives me a little smile. “You didn’t have to stay here. You could have gone to bed,” he tells me.

  “I didn’t want to leave you on your own. How are you feeling?”

  He closes his eyes for a moment. “I have a headache, my mouth feels dry, and I feel a little embarrassed.” He chuckles.

  I smile. “You have some water here and some cold coffee.” I point my thumb behind me. “I have some painkillers too.” I try and move but again he takes hold of me, stopping me.

  He clears his throat. “I’m sorry I put my problems on you. The guys know I always end up drunk on this date but I normally stay in. I drink then pass out. I don’t know why I came up here.”

  I take hold of his hand. “I think you needed someone to just be there for you. You needed a little comfort.”

  “Yeah, maybe. But to a new girl.” He shakes his head.

  “It's fine. Now let me go and get you some fresh coffee and those painkillers. If you want to use the bathroom, just help yourself to what you need.” I smile and he leans in and presses a small kiss to my lips.

  “Thank you.”

  I stand up, walking to the kitchen, making us some hot drinks. I also decide to make some bacon and eggs. I’m setting up the breakfast island when he comes out and he’s wearing last night’s clothes but he has showered.

  He takes a seat and I place his breakfast in front of him with coffee and fresh orange juice. I take a seat opposite him and start to dive in. I put a forkful of egg into my mouth to see him watching me and I can feel my cheeks flush. “You don’t like the food?” I say behind my hand.

  “I just wasn’t expecting this, that’s all. If you asked me yesterday at school if I would be sat here having breakfast with you, I would have laughed.”

  I chuckle. “Yeah, don’t get used to it. I don’t want you to think I will be your own personal cook or anything. I know you’re going to go back to your dickish ways so enjoy this while you can.”

  “Is dickish even a word?” he asks me, laughing.

  “It is now.” I take a bite of bacon before taking a large sip of juice. We sit there in comfortable silence while we eat and then I go and get myself ready. I thought he may have gone by the time I came back out but he is in the kitchen, washing the dishes. “You didn’t have to do that,” I tell him.

  “I was told the person who cooked shouldn’t do the cleaning up. Plus, I don’t mind.” He finishes up with the plates and pans and walks over to me, pulling me in for a hug. “Thank you again for everything you’ve done.” He starts scratching the back of his neck. He looks around the room sheepishly. “I feel like I’m going to be a dick now, but once I leave, when I’m back with my friends…”

  I nod. “I understand. You have a reputation to protect. I get it. I know you will do something that will make me hate you again so it's all good. I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  He gives me a smile but I know it’s forced. “I kind of wish we met under different circumstances, and that my family wasn’t who they are. It’s just… things are expected from me.”

  “You don’t have to explain.” I take hold of his hands. “Once we part ways, it will be like this didn’t happen. Back to reality.” I grab my things and we both head out. I know he needs to go change his clothes and I told myself I was leaving early anyway. But I don’t tell him that.

  I can’t divulge information he may use on me.

  Even after last night.

  We head down the elevator. I can see him fighting with himself. When the doors open to his floor, he is about to take a step out when he pulls me into a hug, holding me tightly. We stand there, just holding one another. I feel like he doesn’t want to let me go. Then we hear a cough, and we turn to see Axel and Lucas standing there.

  Axel looks intrigued while Lucas’s face looks like thunder.

  “We were worried about you. We checked in on you to see your place empty,” Lucas starts. “But I guess you were with company.” He looks between us.

  I take a step back, my face warm. I’m unsure if I should say anything, but I don’t know what to say. I turn to Elijah and his face goes from sad to playful and smirking.

  “I got a little drunk and thought I would try my luck with her. Too bad I passed out on her couch before I could charm her panties off her.” He turns, blowing me a kiss.

  Lucas is really glaring at him. “Then why were you two hugging so intimately?”

  “Because he threw up all over the bathroom floor. He was in a state. I gave him a hug to make sure he was okay. He made an idiot out of himself and I was just consoling him that he is still a dick but I’m happy he didn’t drink himself to death.” The words are just flowing from my mouth. Once I use the word drink and death, I almost cringe at myself.

  I notice the words hitting Elijah. His body tenses.

  Shit.

  “Fine. Well, go clean yourself up, man. You look like shit.” Axel claps his shoulder. “So, did anything
go down?” I hear him ask Elijah while they start to walk down the corridor.

  I sigh when I hear him say that nothing happened as he was too wasted. Lucas stays where he is, just watching me, and when the doors start to close he takes a step forward, using his arm to keep them open.

  “I know something happened. You may think I’m stupid, but trust me, I’m not.” His body slumps a little. “I knew he was vulnerable. I guess he went to you. Whatever happened, thank you for looking after my friend.” I am taken aback. He is being sincere.

  I wrap my arms around myself, hugging myself. “It's okay.”

  He walks in farther, towering over me, his eyes then changing, going darker. “It doesn’t change things though. Things are still the same. We will see you at school.” He walks backward, the doors close, and I groan out into the empty space.

  Yup, wouldn’t it have been easy if he dropped this because I did a good act, but no.

  Today is Friday. Then I will be free from them.

  I am not staying here over the weekend. I am not having drunk college boys know where I live and getting tempted to come knocking.

  Chapter Fourteen

  On the walk to campus, I call Aisha, praying to almighty God that she is feeling better and that she will be in school today. We were meant to be having our movie night tonight, after this week, I really want some downtime.

  No drama.

  No guys.

  It just rings out, so she is either driving to school or her phone is on silent while she sleeps, still sick.

  I send her a message, asking if she is okay. I also tell her that I’m early and will be in the library if she’s in today.

  Sighing, I reach the school doors. I walk down the quiet corridors and up the stairs until I reach the place I will hide out until classes start, but when I reach the library, I groan when I see that it's closed.

  Why is it closed?

  Surely there are students who may want to catch up on some work or get a book before class even starts. I take hold of the handles, shaking then, hoping the doors will open by just pure will, but nope. I even look through the tiny windows but it’s all dark inside.