Flawed Choices: A Bully Romance

by J. L. Ostle

  He climbs down to and sits in his, scowling at me.

  I stand up, wanting to get something to drink. I am still full from my breakfast and I notice that none of the other girls are eating. I’m about to walk in line when Lucas asks me where I’m going. When I say I’m going for a drink, his face morphs to a sneaky smile.

  “You have to ask someone to get it for you. We don’t get our own lunches.”

  “Ask someone?” My eyes scrunch up a little.

  He points to people close by. “You have to ask them to get your lunch.”

  He has got to be kidding. “That’s a joke, right? I just want a drink. I can get it myself.”

  He tsks at me. “You have to follow our rules, remember?” He is enjoying this way too much. I clear my throat, walking over to the next table, when Lucas grabs my arms, halting me. “You have to call them over.”

  I shake my head. “Excuse me,” I call out to a table of young girls, who look to be freshman. They all look with their eyes wide. “Can you get me a Coke, please?” I try and ask nicely. One stands up, she doesn’t question it, and she walks in line and gets my drink.

  I watch her walk back with it. I reach into my pocket to get money for it, but again, Lucas stops me. “We don’t pay.”

  “I’m not letting a young girl pay for my drink.” Thank God I didn’t want food.

  “Well, that’s just tough luck.” The girl passes me my can and I thank her. She is about to sit back in her seat when Lucas clears his throat. “Ask her to get me a drink also.”

  “Why didn’t you ask when she was getting mine?”

  He stretches his arms behind him, resting the back of his head on his hands. “I wasn’t thirsty then.”

  He is doing this on purpose. I call out for the girl again and ask her to get Lucas a drink. I watch the girl follow orders. I have never felt so awkward in my life. I normally would have stood up to someone like Lucas if I saw this.

  Think about Aisha. Think about having a drama-free semester. Just two weeks.

  Luckily for the rest of lunch, nothing else happens. I did notice Mandy and Trisha walk past me, the two girls who thanked me on Tuesday for standing up to Lucas. I can see the disappointed looks.

  They think I caved.

  Even after, if I try to explain myself to people, no one will believe me. They will think I’m talking shit to save face.

  Once lunch is finished, I stay in my seat. I look down at my hands, feeling like I just signed my soul over to the devil. Maybe in some way I have. How can one minute I can lust over these boys and the next wish I could stab them with a fork?

  I jump when I feel hands on my shoulders. “Welcome to the club,” Lucas says in my ear before walking away. I turn, glowering at his back.

  I finally stand. I walk over to the young girl who got the drinks. She has short brown hair and brown eyes; she has such a childlike face. “I’m sorry about before. I feel bad for what happened.” I hand her some money.

  She shakes her hands at me, pushing the money away. “It’s fine. I don’t want your money.” Her voice shakes.

  “Please just take it. I wouldn’t feel right,” I plead to her.

  “I don’t want to end up in trouble. It will get back to them. They always know everything. Please, just leave me alone.” She grabs her things and runs out, her friends following her. She ran like she was scared.

  Scared of what could happen.

  The popular group must have done things to give people a reason to be scared of them, but I remember back to Aisha telling me to never mess with Kimberly. I bet Kimberly deals with the girls’ side of things. She did want Lucas to break my laptop, so I can imagine her doing shit like that.

  If I knew I wouldn’t get kicked out of here, I would have punched her fake nose by now and kicked the guys in the junk.

  I grab my things from the floor. When I enter the corridor, the boys are standing there waiting for me, watching me. Axel is smiling wickedly, Elijah isn’t showing any kind of emotion, while Lucas doesn’t look impressed with me.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “You tried to pay for our drinks even though I told you not to.” He walks over to me, taking hold of my wrist.

  I pull my wrist back. “I couldn’t let her spend her money. It’s not like you’re not rich enough.”

  “That’s not the point.” He points his finger in my face. “You said you will follow our rules, be how we are. If you are already ready to break our agreement, I have no problem in breaking it also.”

  I huff at him, crossing my arms. “Fine. I will try harder.”

  “Good. Now, let’s go.”

  I follow them, looking at the ground; I don’t want to be looking at them. When we reach class, we walk up the steps. They take their seats, and when I try and take my usual one, they call me over, pointing at the spare one.

  Flashbacks of yesterday, of them feeling my legs, enter my mind. I stride over to them, crossing my arms again, giving each of them a look. “Remember you have to treat me like you would those girls of yours, so no touching. No repeat of yesterday.”

  “You wound me, girl. I kind of wish you didn’t cave so soon.” Axel slouches down in his chair.

  I look at Lucas who doesn’t say a word but just looks at his phone. I take my seat and take out my things. Once class starts, I feel uneasy all the way through. I just expect them to do something, but they don’t.

  Once we are dismissed, my shoulders start to ache. I’m building up way too much tension. I need to see where the closest massage parlor is at, as I feel I’m going to need to go regularly.

  The rest of the day goes smoothly. I have to sit with them for the rest of my classes, but come Monday, I am unsure how to approach the subject of me sitting next to Aisha, if she is better by then, of course.

  We all stroll to the parking lot. I start walking home when Axel wraps his arm around my shoulder, dragging me to a picnic bench where everyone from the cafeteria table is sitting. Kimberly is sitting next to Lucas, but when I arrive, he orders her to move.

  She looks at him with wide eyes, then turns to me and glares. I stay standing up. He tilts his head to the side, watching me. I want to hear what they have to stay then I’m leaving. I want to call Aisha, get her address then visit her.

  “Sit,” he orders me.

  “Please,” I say back before sitting down next to him.

  He pinches my arm. I bring my arm to my body, stroking where he touched me. I stick my tongue out at him. I jump back when his mouth covers my tongue sucking on it, before releasing it.

  The whole table eyes us both. I can’t believe he just did that.

  He sucked my tongue.

  I don’t know how to react. I suck my lips in, feeling unsure. The girls are eyeing me.

  “Now do I get a taste?” Axel leans forward on his arms. “I feel a little left out, little one.”

  I give him the finger. “I don’t think so.” I have no comeback. I am lost for words.

  “Right, the party is tomorrow night. I want you all to be there at eight. Guys, wear shirts. Girls, wear something short and tight. We have guests from Sherwood College coming and I want them to leave happy. The whole floor will be used for the party. Each room has to keep them occupied,” Lucas states.

  The whole floor? That’s four apartments. So they own three of them, but who is the fourth? No way am I wearing anything slutty.

  I don’t think I own anything slutty anyway.

  I know I haven’t got a choice and that I need to go, but I am going to try and hide in a bathroom or lock myself away in a cupboard until the party is over. Maybe I can even sneak away when they are too drunk to notice.

  “Girls, I need you to make sure you big them up. Make them feel welcome.”

  I cross my arms. I don’t say a word. Even though I’m thinking pimp. This better mean to just compliment them because I am not fucking any guy just so Lucas is on their good side. I wonder why he is making a big deal out of this.

  That is s
omething I need to find out at the party. Maybe if I ask these special guests questions, it could be something I can use at a later time. I know Lucas and I have made a deal but I am not counting on him to fully keep it.

  I know I need leverage. I am going to make sure I get it.

  “You can go,” Lucas says, and everyone stands. Lucas id already walking away.

  Kimberly gives me a stare off before she stands, but I stay where I am. “You coming?” Elijah asks me softly. I turn facing him and he is looking at me like he did this morning. Last night feels like a lifetime ago.

  This morning feels like it never happened now. “I think I’m just going to sit here for a little while. I will see you at the party.”

  He nods. I watch him walk over to Lucas, telling him what I said. I see the agitation on his face but I turn away. He can’t tell me where to go whenever he feels like it.

  I hear their footsteps, and once I know they’re gone, I place my forehead on the table and start banging my head on it, groaning.

  I have two whole weeks of this.

  This is going to be agony.

  I take out my phone, my head still down. I go into my contacts, and when I see Aisha’s name, I press call. When she answers, I’m relieved. She croaks out a hello before coughing.

  “If you didn’t answer, I was going to call the cops. I thought you died,” I tell her.

  She sneezes. “I’m sorry. I’ve been out of it all day. It takes so much energy just to accept the call.”

  “Are you that bad?” I ask.

  “I feel like I’m on my death bed. I ache all over. I can’t keep anything down long, and my whole place smells like puke. I think I’m being punished for something in a previous life.” I hear her sniffle.

  “Oh, hun, do you want me to get you anything? I was going to come over and visit you, make sure you are okay.”

  “Oh, you can’t come.” Her voice squeaks. “I am a mess, my place is a dump, and I don’t want you to see me throw my guts up. I was looking forward to our movie night too.”

  I sigh. “Yeah, me too. Things have gone downhill since you’ve been ill. I blame you for everything that has happened.” I giggle a little. “You are my anchor and I have sunk so deep.” I bang my head again on the table.

  She groans. “Oh God, what have you done? Please don’t tell me you hit any of them.”

  “I joined their group sooner than anticipated…”

  “Why did you do that? I thought you were going to wait until Monday.”

  “Lucas was going to bully you to get to me. Well, he was going to get his minions to do his dirty work. No way was I letting you walk in on Monday to whatever was up their sleeves. I gave some ground rules before I said I would join and it’s just for two weeks.”

  “You know I would have coped with whatever they would do to me.” It’s sweet that she thinks so, but I wasn’t going to risk it. She is too nice to deal with their pathetic games because someone’s ego got bruised.

  “I know that, but I wasn’t letting my friend take the brunt of it because of my mistakes. You warned me, you told me to keep away, so this is my punishment to bear. But I think I have made things a little awkward.”

  “How?”

  I explain Elijah coming to mine, to Lucas seeing us in the elevator, to the locker room incident, oh, and the feel up in the classroom yesterday. She doesn’t say a word while I tell her everything. I have to look at my phone to make sure we are still connected as she has gone silent. I can’t even hear her sniffles.

  “I am lost for words,” she finally says. “I would say what happened in the classroom was sexual harassment which is a big no-no, but it sounds like you ended up enjoying it, as well as the other encounters. I think your body is trying to tell you something.”

  “What, that I’m more fucked up than I thought? That I am letting three assholes get to me?”

  She pauses. But I can hear her breathing, well wheezing. “What if they are playing you?”

  “Playing me?”

  “They are called knights for a reason. I‘m just saying what I’ve heard. Remember when I told you they are called that because they try and be what they think the girl wants so they can get what they want? Axel becomes this charming guy who tells you what you want to hear, touching you how you want to be touched. Elijah goes all sweet and soft. Be the caring guy, friend type. Then you have Lucas, the bad boy. Nothing hotter than when you are attracted to someone you hate. He pushes your buttons, but he does it in a way that gives you a thrill.”

  “You have watched way too much television. That is just too much effort to try and get into my pants. Lucas told them all to not fuck me.”

  “But he knew you were there. He probably just means the other guys, not those three. They’re probably seeing who can get to you first. I may be overthinking it, over-analyzing it, but what if I’m right? You just need to try and not get into situations where you’re alone with them. It’s when you’re alone that something happens.”

  “Then hurry up and get better so that I’ve got you to be my bodyguard.” We both chuckle.

  “Yeah, me against them,” she says sarcastically. “I wonder who would win?” She coughs.

  I sigh. “I have to go to their stupid party tomorrow, but they have these guys coming that they want to try and impress so I’m going to find out why.”

  “Just be careful and watch your drinks. Please message me when you’re home, tonight as well as tomorrow. You know I will worry other…” She starts dry heaving. “I have to go.” Before she hangs up, I hear her throwing up.

  I put my phone away, sitting up straighter. I feel so sorry for her but I would probably end up throwing up if I saw her being sick in front of me. I just hope she’s better for Monday. I finally stand and head home.

  I guess movie night for one tonight.

  Chapter Seventeen

  When I reach the apartment complex, I walk up the stairs, taking them slowly, dragging my body up. I feel deflated. On the walk over, I’ve been stuck with my thoughts. My first week here and I messed up majorly.

  I’m trapped, and they know it.

  I normally last a few weeks before I start getting into trouble. This has to be a record. Before I started here, I promised myself over and over I would just stay invisible. I would ignore the popular crowd, the bullies.

  I would walk on by if I saw anyone get any hassle instead of intervening, as I need to look out for myself as well.

  I feel cursed.

  I think back on a time where I was normal. I was happy with my family and friends. Well, as happy as I could be. If you asked me back then if I would be like this now, if I would believe it, I wouldn’t.

  Now I’m scarred.

  I’m damaged.

  I know there is always going to be a piece missing.

  I take a seat on the step, feeling my eyes prickle with tears. Gah, I need to stop thinking about this. I can’t change the past, but if only I could. My whole life is now set on what-ifs.

  I stare up at the ceiling, willing the tears not to fall. When I feel like I have calmed down, I continue my walk up. Maybe I should have gone up in the elevator, but with how I’m feeling right now, I am pent up with energy and yet I feel drained at the same time. I think I’m more emotionally drained than physically.

  I reach floor six when the door bangs, making me scream. I look over to see Axel standing there laughing at me. I glare at him, crossing my arms. “You almost gave me a heart attack, you dick.”

  He continues laughing. “That was the girliest scream I have ever heard.”

  I point at him. “You do know I will get you back for that, right?”

  He clicks his tongue, sauntering over. “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, little one.” He flicks my hair so it exposes my neck. “Are you okay?” His eyes soften, looking into my eyes.

  I look away. “I’m fine.”

  He takes hold of my chin with his thumb and finger, turning my head so I’m facing him. “You’ve bee
n crying.” He uses his other hand, touching under my eye with his thumb. “Please say we haven’t upset you.”

  Why does he care? They have basically blackmailed me into hanging out with them or my friend gets hurt. “I wouldn’t let you have that kind of power.”

  He steps in closer. His hand that was holding my chin glides until it's behind my neck. “I think we both know it’s you who has the power. You hold more power than you even realize.”

  What does that even mean? “Do you always talk in riddles?”

  He smiles, but this smile I haven’t seen. It's soft and sweet. It isn’t fake. “I don’t like to give much away, little one.”

  I groan. “Why do you three keep calling me that? I’m not that short.”

  He steps in even closer so he is looming over me. “You look delicate, like a tiny animal I just want to look after.”

  “You’re comparing me to an animal? You treat me like one, now you’re saying I am one?”

  His hands are still on me. “It’s a compliment.” His fingers stroke the back of my neck. “You really do have your guard up all the time, don’t you?” I open my mouth, but I don’t know how to reply to that. “It’s not like I can blame you though.” He looks deep into my eyes, his voice so soothing. “You really are pretty.”

  “You keep saying that,” I say softly.

  “Because it’s true. I can tell that you don’t even know how pretty you are.” His face comes closer to mine. “You have these soft features, but you have a hard exterior. It makes you even more beautiful.”

  My mouth has gone a little dry. His voice is mesmerizing me. He looks at my mouth before looking back up at me. He leans in closer, unsure if he should or not, but I don’t move. I don’t say a word.

  Then his lips are on mine.

  His hand cups the back of my head, his other hand gliding down my side until it wraps around my waist, pulling my body closer into him. His kiss isn’t demanding or soft, it’s just wanting, needing.

  He starts walking slowly, making me walk back until I hit a wall. He pins his body to mine, his mouth releases from mine, and he starts kissing my jaw and neck before his lips are hungrily taking mine again.