Phantom Waltz

by Catherine Anderson

  “It’s called physical attraction.”

  “I know what physical attraction feels like. This is more. Laugh your ass off if you want, but this is it for me.”

  “Are you always so quick to make decisions about women?”

  “I never have before. Bethany’s different.”

  “How?”

  “She just is.” A picture of her face swept through Ryan’s mind, and he smiled slightly. “Any man with eyes can see that she’s different, Jake.” He arched a brow. “Why else would you be here? You know exactly how vulnerable she is. And it scares the holy hell out of you.”

  “Yeah, it does. I’m afraid you’ll hurt her.”

  “I won’t.”

  Jake relaxed on the chair. “You’re really taken with her, aren’t you?”

  “You could say that. I know you’re worried. I sympathize with that. But you’ve got my personal guarantee it’s unnecessary. She’ll be in good hands.”

  “There are things you don’t know, things that may change your mind.”

  “I doubt it.”

  Jake leaned forward, bracing his arms on his knees. “Humor me and listen. If nothing I tell you in the next few minutes throws you off course, fine by me, but just in case it goes the other way, do her a favor and turn tail right now—before you break her heart. She’s been badly hurt once already, Ryan. It took her nearly two years to get over it.”

  “She still isn’t over it. Trust me on that. She still isn’t over it.”

  Jake conceded the point with a nod, took a sip of beer, and then swore under his breath. “So she told you about him, did she?”

  “No. Just his name, and only that because I insisted.”

  “Shortly after the accident, he took up with a girl who’d been Bethany’s best friend since kindergarten.”

  “Sweet Christ.” Ryan’s stomach clenched. “Her best friend?”

  “That’s right. In terms of betrayal, it was a double whammy. Before Bethany was transported to Portland for surgery, the two of them went to see her every night at the hospital, acting as if they cared while they were having a thing on the side. Nan got pregnant, and Paul married her in Reno without telling Bethany beforehand. Shame and cowardice. The little son of a bitch did a real job on her. He couldn’t bear to look her in the eye and admit what a jerk he was. She had to read about it in the paper. There she lay, trapped on that damned bed, still wearing the promise ring he’d given her, and she came across the marriage announcement in a paper from home. I was there when she found it. She turned as white as a sheet.”

  “Her best friend? Some friend.”

  “Exactly. Someone she’d trusted and loved all her life. The worst of it was, the marriage didn’t last three months. I’m not sure which hurt Bethany more, Paul’s defection or Nan’s betrayal. I only know it was the kind of hurt that ran too deep for tears. She just stared off into space with an awful look in her eyes and took off the ring. After that, she seemed—hell, I don’t know the word for it. Diminished, somehow, like the life went out of her.”

  Silence. Ryan pictured Bethany’s face again and those big eyes that revealed her every thought and feeling. He sincerely hoped he never ran across good old Paul. He’d plant a fist in his teeth. “I’m not going to break her heart again, Jake. If that’s all that’s worrying you, rest easy. I’m not perfect and I’m bound to make mistakes, but hurting her that way will never be one of them.”

  Jake gave him a searching look. “I honestly believe it’d destroy her.”

  “If there’s one thing I can say with absolute certainty about Kendrick men, it’s that we’re loyal. We don’t step out on our women, and we sure as hell don’t run like scalded dogs when the going gets rough.”

  “It doesn’t worry you that she may be unable to enjoy a normal sex life?” Jake asked bluntly. “She has no sensation in certain parts of her body that are more or less vital to a woman’s enjoyment.”

  Ryan took another swallow of beer before answering. “I was a little worried about the sex at first. I’ll admit it.”

  “And now?”

  “Now I’m not.” At the vague answer, irritation flared in Jake’s eyes. Ryan struggled to suppress a grin. “My mom’s a nurse. I learned some very interesting things from her, namely that lack of sensation isn’t a death knell. There’s good chemistry between Bethany and me, and that’s more than lots of people begin a marriage with. If problems crop up, we’ll work our way through them. I’m willing to be inventive if it’s necessary.”

  “Inventive.” Jake curled his lip. “And you’ll be content with that?”

  Ryan sighed. “We’re both unattached males around thirty. Can you sit there and tell me good sex with someone you don’t love leaves you feeling content and happy afterward, or that you don’t wish for more?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Me neither, and I’m sick to death tired of wishing for more. I feel content and happy when I’m with your sister. Does that make any sense?”

  “Yeah, it makes a lot of sense,” Jake said.

  “The way I see it, if certain things about our personal life don’t fit the usual mold, will I really give a shit? If we’re happy together and we can please each other, what difference does it make how we do it?”

  “None, I guess.” Jake smiled slightly. “What if she can’t carry a child to term? There is a big possibility of that. Her spinal surgeon told her in no uncertain terms she shouldn’t have kids.”

  That took Ryan by surprise. He’d read about brain-dead women who’d carried children to term, and a woman couldn’t get much more paralyzed than that. “She can’t have kids? Paralysis doesn’t interfere with fertility. I’ve been reading up on it on the Internet. I never saw any mention of that.”

  Jake shrugged. “Reicherton, her spinal surgeon, said she’d probably miscarry. Special problems of some kind. The point is, that’s a possibility. How do you feel about it?”

  “I can live with it.”

  “I’d think a man with all your land and money would want kids of his own.”

  “Naturally I’d love to, but I’m prepared to adopt if it’s necessary.”

  “Don’t pay this lip service. My sister may never have children. If I’ve got a vote, I’d just as soon she never tried. After her last surgery, she got a blood clot in one of her legs. A real humdinger that left the vein permanently narrowed with residual fibers from the clot that interfere with some little valves in there. They’d probably take her off her medicine while she was pregnant, increasing the risk of a second clot. We could have lost her with the last one.”

  “I certainly won’t get her pregnant if a doctor tells me it’s dangerous. But I have to point out that exercise and good muscle tone will greatly improve a condition like that. If she gets on a good program, she probably won’t need medicine.”

  “Exercise?” Jake sighed and rolled his eyes, the gesture reminding Ryan so sharply of Bethany that he nearly smiled. “Right. I’ll get her started tomorrow. Jogging, do you think?”

  “Go ahead. Be a smart ass. I’ve been reading stuff, like I told you. Did you know there are treadmills equipped with special harnesses so even quadriplegics can walk regularly and keep their legs muscles toned?”

  “Yes, and they carry price tags equal to the national debt.”

  “I can afford it,” Ryan said softly.

  Jake sighed wearily. “So you’ve thought of everything and still mean to pursue this.”

  Ryan chuckled. “Is that what this is about? You were hoping to scare me off? Save it, Coulter. You’re not going to hit me with anything that will throw me that bad, nothing I won’t find a way to deal with. I’ll also remind you I’ve got money out the kazoo. One of the main reasons handicapped people can’t lead more normal, active lives is because their insurance peters out on them, and they’ve got no financial resources with which to modify their environment.”

  Jake narrowed an eye. “What if the state won’t approve her as an adoptive parent?” />
  “There are private agencies, and as I just pointed out, money isn’t a problem. We’ll be able to adopt children, guaranteed.”

  “How will your family feel about that? Will they accept an adopted kid?”

  “My kids will be loved, adopted or not.”

  “You really are serious about marrying her,” Jake mused softly.

  “Hell, yes, I’m serious.”

  After searching Ryan’s gaze for a long moment, Jake finished off his beer. “You got another one of these hiding in there?”

  “It’s a long drive back to town. You sure you want another one.”

  “My limit’s two when I’m driving. Yeah, I’ll have another one.”

  Ryan fetched them both a second round. When he was settled back on his chair again, Jake said, “It appears you’ve done your homework and know what you’re getting into.”

  “That’s right.”

  “That being the case, there’s only one more thing I want to say to you, Kendrick. Once it’s said, maybe we can take a shot at becoming friends.”

  Ryan shrugged. “So far, I don’t much like you, but stranger things have happened.”

  Jake grinned. “I don’t much like you, either, but my sister does. I guess her vote carries the day. I’ll back off. No more interference. You’ll have an open playing field all the way. Just understand one thing.” His smile faded and a dangerous glint crept into his eyes. “If you hurt her—if you cause her to shed so much as a single tear—you’ll answer to me. And I promise you, when I’m done kicking your ass, you’ll rue the day your daddy looked at your mama with a twinkle in his eye.”

  Chapter Eight

  It had been nine years since Bethany had last attended a Crystal Falls Rancher’s Association dinner, but the event proved to be much the same as she remembered. It was still held at the Ranchers’ Co-op Grange, a cavernous hall at the edge of town in which countless tables were set up around a central dance floor. During the meal, the association president competed with the din of flatware clinking on china to give a long speech peppered with microphone whistles and bad jokes that elicited polite laughter from his audience.

  While Bethany ate, she exchanged amused glances with her twenty-eight-year-old brother, Hank. Jake’s date, a new acquaintance named Muriel, was a novelty. The redhead was pretty in a flashy, voluptuous way, which was undoubtedly what had caught Jake’s eye, but her taste in clothes was appalling. Tonight she wore a tight sequin dress that showcased her generous curves in emerald green. The neckline plunged so low that her bosom threatened to spill out onto her plate every time she leaned forward to take a bite.

  The Coulter males and Bethany’s mother watched in horrified fascination. Bethany could barely keep a straight face. Poor Jake. She doubted he’d ever invite a woman to be around his family on the first date again. Bethany and her mom wore dark, modest dresses: Bethany’s a jersey, Mary’s a lightweight wool.

  “Ohmigawd!” Muriel fairly bounced on her chair when she saw the band setting up. “I just love live music. Are we gonna dance, Jake?”

  Jake’s gaze shot like a bullet to his date’s jiggling bosom, and his face turned an interesting shade of burnished brown with burgundy undertones. “I think they play mostly country western. That probably isn’t your cup of tea.”

  “Oh, I like all kinds of dancing. Fast, slow, and everything in between.”

  Jake’s smile was strained. “Fantastic.”

  “Save at least one dance for me, Muriel,” Hank inserted, his blue eyes twinkling.

  Jake’s return glare could have pulverized granite. In that moment Bethany could see why so many people in Crystal Falls believed that her oldest brother was a horse whisperer. His eyes were such a vivid blue in contrast to his dark skin tone, his gaze had a cold fire that almost burned.

  Bethany bent her head and pretended intense interest in her steak. The moment Jake looked away, she elbowed Hank in the ribs. “Behave yourself.”

  “So, tell us, Muriel,” Bethany’s mother, a matronly brunette with gentle blue eyes and a warm smile, said politely. “How did you meet our son?”

  Muriel batted her caked black lashes. The bleary, vacuous expression in her pretty green eyes clearly wasn’t entirely due to contact lenses. “Which one?”

  Mary cast a bewildered look at her big, dark-haired husband, who sat beside her. Amusement danced in Harv Coulter’s azure eyes. He shrugged his broad shoulders, his sharply hewn features softening in a smile as he poured his wife more wine.

  “Me, Muriel,” Jake whispered. “You just met Hank and my folks tonight.”

  “Oh.” Muriel smiled blissfully and glanced back at Mary. “Jake and I met each other at Safeway. He was squeezing the avocados.”

  “Ah.” Mary cast her eldest son a questioning look. “I see.”

  “I’ve never been able to pick out good avocados,” Muriel elaborated. “So I asked him to show me how. The next thing we knew, the whole pile came toppling down. Avocados everywhere! When we were finished picking up the mess, one thing led to another, and he asked for my phone number.” She winked at Jake. “I doubted he’d really call me. But he did, so here I am.”

  “I wonder what she was wearing,” Hank whispered to Bethany. “I’ve got twenty that says Jake went blind every time she leaned over.”

  Bethany touched her napkin to her lips, doing her best not to giggle. “Behave yourself,” she whispered again.

  “You’re no fun anymore,” Hank complained.

  By the time their meal was cleared away and the band began playing its first number, everyone at the Coulter table was relieved to hear Jake ask Muriel to dance. As the couple moved onto the crowded dance floor, Harv chuckled and said, “I’ll bet Jake thinks twice before he goes near a produce section again.”

  “She’s a nice enough girl,” Mary said with her typical Pollyanna sweetness. “A bit of a dim bulb, perhaps, but that isn’t her fault.”

  Harv grinned and winked at Hank. “She definitely doesn’t hide what little brilliance she has.”

  Hank, who’d come without a date, excused himself and went to ask a blonde at a nearby table to dance. After watching his tall, dark-haired son walk away, Harv glanced at Mary. “Well, honey? You want to polish my belt buckle?”

  Mary frowned. “Are you sure you’re up to dancing?”

  “The doctor says it’s stress that’ll kill me, not a little good old-fashioned exercise. I work out every morning. Where’s the difference?”

  Mary smiled and glanced at Bethany. “Will you be all right, darling? I hate to leave you sitting here all alone.”

  Bethany waved a hand. “Don’t be silly, Mom. I enjoy just watching.”

  As her parents moved onto the floor, Bethany allowed her smile to slip. She glanced at the empty chairs around the table, resigned to another boring evening. She would have preferred to stay home with her brushes and paints.

  Ah, well. She turned her chair to have a better view of the dancers, her fingertips tapping in time to the music. The hall suddenly grew dark and a rotating sphere sprang to life overhead, casting multicolored spirals of light onto the floor. She scanned the crowd. Her folks had vanished, but Jake was as easy to spot as if he were dancing with a beacon.

  As the next number began, she saw a tall, dark-haired cowboy stepping onto the floor with a brunette tucked under his arm. The way he moved struck a chord, his loose stride and the fluid shift of his broad shoulders familiar. Ryan. Dressed in black with his shirt open at the throat to reveal a V of bronze chest, he cut such a handsome figure that her heart rapped against her ribs.

  His hair glinting in the light like polished onyx, he leaned down to catch something the woman said. His face creased in a grin that flashed white teeth. Then he threw back his head and laughed, swinging her in the circle of his arm to face him as they began to dance. They made an attractive couple, he so tall, muscular, and dark, she so dainty and beautiful. The lively western beat required fast footwork, which they executed flawlessly, his black d
ress boots dwarfing her sassy high heels as he cut a circle around her, then twirled her back into his arms. Bethany knew they had danced with each other many times before.

  She concentrated her gaze on the woman, taking her burgundy silk blouse and skirt, the latter full and swirling gracefully around her shapely legs. When Ryan settled a hand low on the woman’s back, Bethany couldn’t help but notice how the splay of his fingers stretched to the curve of her hip. Her dainty build accentuated his muscular bulk, the two of them a study in contrasts.

  She couldn’t believe how it hurt to see him dancing with another woman. And, oh, how that rankled. She curled her hands into fists, then relaxed them when she realized what she was doing. What difference did it make to her if he had come with someone else?

  A very beautiful someone else.

  An awful, achy sensation filled her chest. She tried to look away and watch the other couples, but her gaze remained fixed on Ryan. Oh, how she wished she were the woman in his arms. She would have given almost anything to have two functional legs so she might dance with him until dawn.

  When the song ended and he turned to guide his partner off the floor, he scanned the tables, his gaze gliding past Bethany, then jerking back to settle on her with glittering intensity. Even in the dim light, she saw his jaw clench. He veered toward her, drawing the woman along as he cut through the crowd.

  The last thing Bethany wanted was to meet Ryan Kendrick’s date for the evening. She considered wheeling away to hide in the ladies’ room, but such behavior struck her as being childish. Instead, she forced herself to smile.

  “Hello!” she called as they drew closer.

  Ryan’s firm mouth twitched at the corners then slanted into a grin that made her bones feel in danger of melting. He kept his arm around the woman’s slender shoulders as he drew to a stop near the table. “Bethany.” His gaze moved slowly over her. “I had no idea you were going to be here tonight.”

  The woman, who was even more beautiful up close than she’d appeared to be at a distance, beamed a friendly smile, her big, liquid brown eyes revealing no hint of animosity. She glanced expectantly at Ryan.