If Loving You Is Wrong

by E. L. Todd

  “Because you were parading around my room in a bra and thong. If you were a fat ugly cow, I still would have looked.”

  “Whatever.” She crossed her arms over her chest and kept walking. “You have the hots for me and I know it.”

  I laughed because it was so absurd. “You sure think highly of yourself, don’t you?”

  “I know you do.”

  “Fuck no. I hate you. I absolutely despise you.”

  “Then why did you save me?” she demanded. “You could have looked the other way, picked up some girl, and went on with your life. If you despise me so much, are so indifferent toward me, you wouldn’t have done a damn thing.”

  God, I wanted to slap her. “I would have done it for any girl. Men who take advantage of women like that should be killed.”

  She kept walking, keeping her jacket close around her. “All you ever do is treat me like shit. I’m sick of it. And when I stand up for myself, you throw a hissy fit like a damn girl.”

  “I don’t treat you like shit,” I argued. “I treat everyone exactly the same way. I’m not sure why you think you’re special. Because, Princess, you aren’t.”

  “Shut up, Slade.”

  We reached my apartment building. “Thank god.”

  “You aren’t going to walk me home? Or invite me inside?”

  “Why the hell would I do that? You walked all this way. You can make it the rest of the way.” I moved to the side of the building and headed to the staircase.

  She came up behind me and pushed me. “What is your problem? You act like you care about me one second then you’re a dick a second later.”

  I stumbled forward then caught myself by my hands. The road was freezing cold. I got back to my feet and wiped my palms on my jeans. “Don’t push me!”

  She used all her strength and pushed me again. “It wouldn’t kill you to just try and be nice to me. I’m never going to go away. We can be frenemies for the rest of time, or you can actually try to be my friend.”

  I stumbled back, disoriented from the alcohol and the cold. I stopped myself from falling but I couldn’t stop my rage. Unable to control myself, I shoved her into the wall, making her back collide with the wood. “Push me again and I’ll break your neck.” I gripped her wrists then pinned them against the wall. “Got it?”

  She breathed hard, staring into my face. The snow was falling lightly around us. I didn’t know what time it was, but judging by the temperature and lack of people, I would guess it was past midnight. She stared into my eyes, her chest rising and falling with every full breath she took. Her blonde hair framed her face, and the dark green eye shadow around her eyes made them look big and beautiful. Black eyeliner marked the edges, making them pop. Her lips were ruby red despite the cold. Her pale skin was a reflection of the winter bite. It was fair and light, reminding me of a snowflake.

  I didn’t know what the hell was going on. The alcohol made me confused and bipolar. One moment, I wanted to rip her throat out, and the next, I wanted to feel her warm breath in my mouth. She stared at me then looked at my lips, thinking the same thing.

  At exactly the same moment, she crushed her mouth against mine while I ravaged hers.

  My mouth aggressively took hers. I caressed her, tasting her. Her lips reciprocated, brushing past mine before her tongue slipped into my mouth, lightly touching mine. I crushed my body against hers, feeling her chest push against me.

  Her hands moved into my hair, messing up the strands. Then she moved under my shirt and felt the muscles of my back. Her hands were cold but it felt good. Her nails lightly dragged across my skin, applying just the right pressure.

  I ripped open her coat then shoved my hands under her shirt, groping her breasts over her bra. She moaned into my mouth while she felt me take her, squeezing her.

  Her hand snaked into my pants and grabbed my cock. She stroked it like she’d done it a thousand times. Her touched relayed her experience. She was making me pant, making me hot.

  I moved to her jeans then unbuttoned them, still kissing her. Our tongues danced together, making me forget about the cold. I breathed hard, my cock throbbing every few seconds.

  When her jeans were loose, I yanked them down and helped her kick them off. She was probably freezing but it didn’t seem like she cared. She undid my fly then pulled my jeans down with my boxers, revealing my cock.

  My lips moved to her neck and I sucked the skin while my hand moved beneath her underwear. I found her clit immediately and rubbed it. Then I slipped two fingers inside, feeling how wet she was.

  She licked her hand then rubbed me hard, doing it exactly as I did it when I beat off. She was a pro and it was making me hornier than I already was.

  I didn’t want to wait any longer. I wanted to be inside her and forget the foreplay. My hand gripped her thong and pulled it off. I tossed it aside, leaving it in the snow. Then I grabbed her ass and lifted her, pinning her against the wall. Her legs automatically wrapped around my waist.

  Neither one of us cared that someone could walk by at any second. My jeans were low, showing my ass, and her legs were spread to me. Like a magnet, my cock found her entrance and felt the moisture pool between her legs.

  “Fuck. Do you have a condom?” I blurted.

  “No. I’m on the pill.” She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me again, her mouth touching me the way I liked.

  That was all I needed to hear. I gripped her ass and tilted her hips slightly. Then I slid inside with little resistance. “Holy fucking shit.” She felt so damn good. I’d never fucked a girl without a rubber and now I knew what I was missing.

  She moaned then gripped me, trying to hold on.

  After I took a moment to recover, I thrust my hips and moved inside her. There was no way to describe how good it felt. It was heaven, pure heaven. She was so wet and smooth. Her tightness was perfect for my big dick. I could do this all night.

  “Slade…yeah.” She used her arms to move up and down slightly, rocking with me.

  I started to move faster, wanting as much of her as I could get.

  “Fuck me.” Her head rolled back while she enjoyed what I was doing to her. “Fuck me, Slade…”

  I went as fast as I could, loving the feel of her skin against my shaft. My tip pierced her over and over, throbbing from how good it felt. I was breathing hard and moaning, wanting to go even faster.

  Minutes passed and we clung to each other while we moved together. Trinity made noises in my ear, exciting me more. She pressed her lips to my ear and kept whispering dirty things, making me crumble. I fucked her hard and good, and I knew when I hit her in the right spot. She practically screamed when I made her come.

  “God…yes.”

  Even though it was freezing out, I started to sweat. I’d never worked this hard during sex. I was giving her everything I had, loving the way her bare pussy felt against my dick.

  When I felt the warmth pool in my stomach, stretching to every nerve in my body, I knew the orgasm was coming. Like a ball of raging fire, it burned every single part of me. It hadn’t even hit me yet and it was the best sensation I ever felt. I was spiraling, plummeting hard. Then it hit me.

  “Fuck yeah.” I held her against the wall while I tensed up and released. I never came inside a girl before and it felt a million times better than anything else. I filled her, squirting hard. I kept my body against hers, clinging to her warmth.

  When I was finished, I stayed that way, suddenly feeling exhausted. She breathed hard underneath me, trying to catch her breath. The world started to spin, and the cold suddenly hit me.

  Still holding her, I grabbed her clothes off the ground and carried her to my apartment. I was still inside her. She lay her head over my shoulder and wrapped her arms around my neck.

  When we entered my bedroom, I tossed her on my bed then lay beside her. It only took a few seconds for me to pass out. I didn’t know if Trinity was asleep but I was too drunk and tired to care.

  Chapter Eight
<
br />   Trinity

  A massive migraine was thudding behind my eyes. It slammed into the front of my skull, putting me in a horrible mood before I even started my day. Last night was a blur. I remembered drinking—a lot. Everyone was there. And Slade…he…

  Oh shit.

  It all came flooding back to me. We fought like we were across a battlefield, and then suddenly, we were going at it against the wall of his apartment. I remembered the cold air moving into my lungs, burning me, with every desperate breath I took. I remembered the concrete wall against my back. I remembered our kiss, our tongues dancing. And I remember him inside me.

  Holy fucking shit. I slept with Slade.

  My eyes flashed open and I stared at a ceiling I didn’t recognize. Where was I? I looked at the nightstand and spotted two pills and a glass of water. Was that for me? Then I realized I was in Slade’s bed. It must have been where we passed out. I turned to my other side, expecting to see him passed out next to me.

  He wasn’t there.

  I sat up and felt my tangled hair move around my shoulders. I still wore my jacket and shirt, but I didn’t wear any bottoms. My jeans and underwear were on the floor, forgotten. Slade’s side of the bed was wrinkled like he slept there the night before. But he wasn’t around now.

  “Slade?”

  No response.

  I moved to the end of the bed and felt my head pound harder. I was disoriented for a moment. I breathed through the nausea then focused my thoughts. My hand immediately grabbed the pills and shoved them into my mouth. I downed them with the glass of water.

  Oh god, this was bad.

  I took a few moments before I rose to my feet. My head hurt again but I pushed forward and got dressed. My phone was still in my coat pocket and so were my keys.

  “Slade?”

  He still didn’t respond.

  I walked through the house and didn’t spot him anywhere. The TV was off and there weren’t any dirty dishes. It was pretty clear he already took off. Did he take off because of me? Wanting to head home and get into the shower, I left his apartment.

  ***

  I still couldn’t believe what happened. Slade had been my enemy for as long as I could remember. We fought and bickered like two people who despised each other. I hated him and he hated me.

  So what the hell happened?

  I knew alcohol lowered inhibitions but I had to stoop pretty low to sleep with Slade, the biggest manwhore I’d ever met. My fingers moved through my hair anxiously as I processed what happened. I couldn’t believe we fucked outside in the cold like that, like animals.

  Even though it was Sunday, I didn’t go to Skye’s. She was having people over for the football game but I wasn’t going to set foot in that place. What if Slade was there? God, that would be so awkward. What would I say? What would he say?

  My phone lit up with a message.

  Please don’t be Slade. Please don’t be Slade.

  It wasn’t. It was Skye. Are you coming over or what?

  I couldn’t ask if Slade was there. I’m going to stay in today.

  Are you okay?

  Why was she asking? Yeah, totally. Why wouldn’t I be? I’m awesome. I’m fantastic. Okay…that was a little over the top…

  I just wanted to make sure everything was okay. Slade didn’t come over today so I thought something was up.

  Nope. I’m peachy.

  Have you talked to Slade?

  Why would I have talked to Slade? I haven’t seen him. No. Geez, I sounded defensive.

  Well, if you see him, tell him Cayson wants to talk to him.

  Since I won’t be seeing him, don’t depend on me.

  Are you okay, Trin?

  I’m peachy. I needed to stop using that word.

  Skye stopped texting me so I assumed I was in the clear. I tossed my phone aside then lay in bed, wondering why I was so damn stupid and made such idiotic decisions.

  ***

  I avoided Slade all week. Anywhere I thought he might turn up, I skipped. I didn’t go to the library during my break for classes, and I steered clear of everyone in the gang. Seeing him would be the most awkward thing in the world. I wondered if he told Cayson what happened? It was my biggest fear. Nothing happened in the group that everyone didn’t know about. But if he did tell Cayson, he would have told Skye…who would have confronted me. Since she hadn’t, I assumed Slade kept the truth to himself.

  Thank god.

  The week went smooth. I didn’t see him anywhere. Maybe we could just keep avoiding each other and pretend it never happened. But, of course, Skye knew something was up.

  Trinity, where have you been?

  God, was she a detective? I’ve just been busy. Did you and Cayson do the deed yet? I didn’t really care at the moment but I tried to sound normal.

  Doing what?

  Homework. I knew that was a bad response the moment I sent it.

  You never do homework.

  Ugh. I’m sick.

  Which is it? You’re busy or you’re sick?

  I dug myself into a hole. I stopped texting her altogether. That was probably the best idea.

  A few days later, I was walking across campus through the trees when I spotted Slade just a few feet away. His hands were in his pockets and he stared at the ground. His black blazer kept his body warm from the cold.

  Oh shit. I needed to hightail it out of there.

  Right at that moment, he looked up. His eyes met mine and panic moved into them. Suddenly, he turned around on his heel then walked away. I did the same, trying to pretend that didn’t just happen.

  The next week went better than the last. Slade and I did a better job of avoiding each other. But everyone else in the group had caught on.

  Did something happen with you and Slade? Skye texted me.

  Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. No.

  Then why has no one seen either of you?

  At least Slade kept our secret. I’d take it to the grave. But I needed to spit out an excuse. We got into a fight.

  What’s new? That doesn’t explain why you guys are avoiding us as well as each other.

  I’ll see you soon, alright? You got Cayson to entertain you.

  I don’t care about that. I just want to make sure you’re okay.

  Having a best friend sucked sometimes. I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’ll talk to you later.

  I’m always here, Trin. Don’t forget that.

  Like you would ever let me.

  ***

  By the end of the second week, I knew this couldn’t go on any longer. By avoiding each other, we were avoiding all the people we cared about. I wasn’t looking forward to the conversation, but we needed to have it. I decided to be the bigger man.

  I don’t want to talk about this any more than you do but we need to.

  Slade didn’t respond for hours. There’s nothing to say.

  Can we just talk? We can’t avoid each other forever.

  Another hour passed before he responded. Fine. Where do you want to meet?

  I don’t care. I’m home right now.

  I’ll be there in an hour.

  I spent the next hour dreading his arrival. I was nervous to see him and I wasn’t sure why. Flashbacks of our night came to me as time passed, becoming more vivid with every passing minute. Our tongues moved together like we were desperate and our bodies were starving for one another. Even though it was outside in the middle of winter with my back against the wall, I had to admit the sex was pretty good…damn good. But that was beside the point. It was with Slade.

  And that was a big no-no.

  Slade arrived at my door an hour later.

  I answered it, trying to remain calm.

  His hands were in his pockets and he wouldn’t make eye contact with me. He stared across the lawn then at my doorbell, finding it more interesting than my face.

  “Come in.” I left the door open and headed to the living room.

  He followed me then sat on the opposite couch, as far away from me
as possible.

  “You think I’m going to rape you or something?”

  He finally looked at me, annoyance etched onto his face. “Let’s just get this over with.”

  “Did you tell anybody?”

  “Fuck no. You think I’m crazy?” He looked at me with wide eyes. “If your dad found out, he would kill me. And I don’t mean figuratively. Literally. He would stab me in the gut and watch me bleed to death.”

  My dad had this reputation as an overprotective father but he really wasn’t that bad. It could be worse. “He wouldn’t do that.”

  “Either way, I don’t want him to find out.” He ran his fingers through his hair in frustration. “Did you tell anybody?”

  “No.”

  He breathed a sigh of relief. “Not even Skye?”

  “No.”

  “Good. She’s got a big mouth.”

  I crossed my legs and tried to think of something else to say. “Are we going to be weird around each other forever?”

  He was quiet for a long time. “I hope not.”

  “Then why have you been avoiding me?”

  “I figured you were in love with me and wanted a relationship or some shit like that.”

  I cringed. “No. I despise you as much as I did before.”

  He leaned his head back on the couch. “Thank god. I despise you too.”

  “So we really shouldn’t have trouble returning to normal, right?”

  “I guess not.” He looked at me, a thoughtful expression on his face. “As long as we don’t tell anybody.”

  “Believe me, I don’t want anyone to know.” I shook my head. “I’d never live that down.”

  “Like you’re much better,” he snapped.

  “I am, actually. You’re a manwhore.”

  “Like you aren’t. Believe me, I can tell you’ve been around.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?” I demanded.

  He said nothing.

  “You think I’m good in bed?” I cornered him into a wall.

  He still kept his mouth shut.

  “You don’t need to confirm it. I already know I am.”

  “Well, now you know I’m good too.”

  I refused to feed his ego so I didn’t compliment him. “So, we’re friends, right?”