Needing Forever VOL 1: Part of The Rocker... Series Universe

by Terri Anne Browning

  Almost an hour later, I pulled into a cemetery in some town called West Bridge. Confused about why Mieke would need this place more than an actual doctor, I put my car in park and started to open the door.

  Ben hadn’t even turned off his truck before the passenger door was thrown open and Mieke took off running.

  Fucking hell. She shouldn’t be running around with a concussion. My girl was going to kill herself if she didn’t slow down.

  I ran after her, dodging headstones and a few fresh grave markers. But she knew exactly where she was going, must have memorized the path to where she wanted to be, because she was already falling to her knees in front of a small headstone up ahead.

  Slowing down, stopping several feet from her, curiosity pulled my attention to the headstone.

  Michelle Anna Cassidy

  Beloved Angel Who Will Forever Be In Our Hearts

  The date of her birth and death were the same day.

  Mieke’s birthday.

  She’d had a twin sister.

  “How could you just do that without talking to me, Michelle?” Mieke demanded, sobbing once again. “When you gave me your heart, I promised to protect it, and I have. But you just gave it away without asking if it was okay.”

  I froze at her words. The realization of what she was saying had me closing my eyes, tears stinging them as I realized just how stupid I was.

  Mieke had told me I could have every part of her—but her heart. She’d had a heart transplant, and I was guessing the donor had been her twin. No wonder she couldn’t give it to me. She must feel like it wasn’t hers to give.

  But it sounded like it was already mine.

  Swallowing the lump in my throat, I dropped down beside her, tears blinding me as I traced my fingers over the letters of Michelle’s name. “Hey there, beautiful,” I whispered.

  Mieke went quiet beside me, and I was thankful those heart-wrenching sobs had stopped, but I didn’t like her being so quiet all of a sudden. I couldn’t look away from Michelle’s headstone, though. There was this pull that wouldn’t let me, even though I needed to see my girl’s face. “I’m sorry I screwed up today,” I told Michelle. “Being told the woman you love can’t give you the one thing you crave the most from her kind of fucks with a guy’s head. But it won’t happen again, so don’t worry about your sister.”

  “She’s not worried, asshole. She’s pretty content right now,” Mieke snapped, getting to her feet and brushing off the front of her jeans. “You know what, fuck you both.”

  Scrubbing a hand over her tear-streaked face, she started back the way she came. Seconds later, she released a harsh cry. “Ben!” she yelled, and I turned my head to find her cousin had already left.

  I wanted to laugh, thankful he’d left us alone. Now she had no choice but to hear me out while I drove us back to campus. It was too far for her to walk, especially with the headache she must have been feeling from her concussion.

  Jumping to my feet, I winked down at Michelle’s grave. “Thanks, love,” I whispered to her. “You have no idea how thankful I am.”

  Feeling an odd sort of peace wash over me, I jogged after Mieke.

  Her phone was to her ear as she paced the parking area. “How could you just leave me here?” she was yelling at Ben. “I swear, every baby picture you never wanted the world to see will be on all your social media as soon as I get back to my computer if you don’t come back and get me.”

  While she was still distracted, I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her, locking her against me as I buried my nose in her soft neck. That sweet jasmine smell was back on her skin, and I inhaled long and deep, savoring her in my arms.

  “Let go of me,” she seethed, dropping her hand with the phone and struggling against me.

  “Never,” I vowed against her ear. “You’re mine now, Mieke. I’m never letting you go again.”

  She fought against me until I turned her to face me. “That’s too damn bad,” she yelled in my face. “Because I don’t want you anymore—”

  I cut off the lie by taking possession of her mouth. I thrust my tongue deep, stroking against hers as I tasted her fully for the first time. She resisted for all of five seconds before she moaned and kissed me back, her fingers stabbing through my hair, her body arching into mine. I backed her up until my hand touched the front of my car, and then I lifted her, her legs wrapping around my waist as I laid her out across the top of it.

  Her taste made me dizzy, this gnawing hunger for her making me ache like a boy to feel her come apart on my cock. There was no way I would ever be able to get enough of her. Just kissing her was better than any sex I’d ever had, so I instinctively knew she was going to ruin me once I did make love to her.

  Releasing her lips, I kissed my way down her throat until I could bury my face in her neck. The scent of jasmine filled my nose, easing the last of the tension in my muscles. “I’m never letting you go. Please don’t make me.”

  “You were with that Jade girl,” she whispered in a pained voice. “Her hands were all over you, and you just let her.”

  “Mieke, baby, I was so jealous of Ben when I first saw you two together, I didn’t even notice her until you two left. Then Jade recognized your cousin, and I realized my mistake.” I lifted my head and locked eyes with her. Tears glazed those green-and-gold orbs that fucking owned me. “I thought you wouldn’t give me your heart because you had already given it away. The two of you were so natural together, and I lost it. If I hadn’t been so worried about scaring the hell out of you, I probably would have kicked his ass just because he had the one thing I want most in the world.”

  A small sob left her, and she turned her head away. “You scare me.”

  My heart clenched. “Why?”

  “Because you have Michelle’s heart. You have all the power now.” Two large tears spilled from her eyes. “I don’t want to get hurt like my mom was for so many years, Kaden.”

  Grasping her chin, I turned her to look at me. Her tears rocked my world, made something burn through my chest and stole my breath. “I don’t know your parents’ history, baby. But I can promise you here and now that I will never let you go. My life started the first time I set eyes on you. I will love you and cherish Michelle’s heart until the day I die.”

  “My dad loved my mom too, but that didn’t stop him from walking away,” she cried.

  “Oh, baby,” I said with a pained laugh. “You don’t realize what you’re saying, but that’s pretty damn funny to me. I’ve been alone for too damn long, waiting for you. I’m not strong enough to walk away.”

  “You did earlier,” she said with a whimper.

  “Because you said you wanted to go back to your dorm. I was hurting and didn’t want you to see my pain.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “Trust me when I say it was damn hard to let you go when all I really wanted to do was chain you to my bed until you promised to love me as much as I love you.”

  “But—”

  “There are no more ‘buts,’ Mieke,” I told her firmly. “I can see you have trust issues, and if that’s because of your dad, then I really want to kick his ass. You can doubt me all you want, but I swear on my life, I will prove to you as much as you need that I will never hurt you like that. When you hurt, I hurt. I don’t have much of a pain tolerance, so I’m going to avoid that like the plague.”

  Her lips twitched with the beginnings of a smile. “I can’t believe you just admitted that.”

  “The pain thing?” She nodded, the smile starting to form into a grin despite the tears still leaking from her eyes. “I will always tell you the truth, and unfortunately that is one of my weaknesses. I’m the biggest baby if I get so much as a cold.”

  Mieke bit at her lip for a moment before reaching up to stroke her soft fingers across my jaw. “Poor thing. I guess I’ll have to take care of you when you get man flu.”

  A lump filled my throat. “Promise?” I rasped.

  Her brow wrinkled. “No one has taken care of you whe
n you were sick before?”

  I shook my head. “I don’t like people near me when I’m vulnerable like that, and my parents were never really around when I was a kid. But I would like it if you took care of me.”

  “Then I really want to kick your parents’ asses too.” She cupped my face in both her hands. “How could they just leave you on your own when you’re sick?”

  “Dad was too lost in his gadgets, and Mom was more interested in the money that came with it than me,” I confessed. “I never felt like they really belonged to me. Like I didn’t have anyone who was mine, Mieke. Then I spotted you, and I knew you were the one.”

  “I really want to be the one who belongs to you,” she murmured softly. “I’m just…scared.”

  Brushing the hair back from her face, I nodded. “I know, baby.”

  “I’m sorry,” she whispered and tried to lower her gaze again.

  But I wouldn’t let her. “Don’t be sorry. Whatever you need me to do to prove I won’t hurt you like your mom was hurt, I’ll do it. Anything but walk away. Don’t ever ask me to do that, Mieke, because I can’t.”

  “What I need the most…” She swallowed hard and sucked in a deep breath. “Give me like fifty or sixty years of you never leaving me. Tell me every day how much you love me. Maybe a billion more kisses like you just gave me. Just to start.”

  “That’s all you need?” After a slight hesitation, she nodded, and I found myself grinning. “You were going to get all of that anyway, but if you need me to promise, I will.”

  “P-Please.”

  Straightening, I kept my hands on her ass as I carried her around the car to the passenger door. “Let’s go.”

  “Where?”

  I placed her in the seat then buckled her in. “Back to campus. We’ll stop and grab your clothes and then pick up some dinner on the way back to our place.”

  “Our…place?”

  “I can’t start the fifty or sixty years of never leaving you if you are living somewhere else, woman. Our apartment is the best place for us since your dorm room comes with a roommate and a tiny-ass bed.” I nuzzled her neck before nipping at it, then pulled back. “Our place has a kitchen, a huge bed, and a shower we don’t have to share with twenty other people.”

  “I really like that shower in your bathroom,” she murmured thoughtfully.

  “Our bathroom,” I corrected. Dropping one more kiss on her lips, I straightened and hurried around to the driver’s side. Getting behind the wheel, I started the car and put it in gear before grasping her hand and linking our fingers. “What do you want for dinner?”

  “Pancakes,” she said in a dazed voice.

  “That won’t be good takeout, and other than scrambling some eggs and putting bacon in the oven, I’m not really that good in the kitchen,” I told her.

  “I can make them. Mom and I have been making them together since I was six.” She leaned over and kissed my cheek. “I’ll teach you.”

  “Pancakes for dinner, it is.”

  Chapter 7

  Mieke

  “You’re too quiet this morning,” Kaden commented as he lifted his cup of coffee to his lips and took a swallow. “What’s wrong, baby?”

  I placed the skillet in the sink and ran water in it, rinsing it so I could put it in the dishwasher. He was always telling me to leave it so the cleaning people could get it, but I needed something to do this morning.

  Today was Saturday, and my whole family was coming for the game later. I talked to Mom about it, and we had plans to go shopping. She even knew about Kaden. Mom promised not to tell Dad, because neither one of us knew how he was going to react to the reality of my having a boyfriend, let alone my living with one.

  When Mom talked to Kaden for the first time on Wednesday, she invited him to hang out with Dad, Uncle Noah, and Ben during the football game. He’d jumped at the offer, and I’d been trying not to freak out ever since.

  “Babe?” Kaden walked up behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and kissing my neck. “Earth to Mieke, where did you go?”

  Blowing out a sigh, I leaned into him, wishing I could just hit the fast-forward button so I didn’t have to deal with this today. “Why don’t you blow off the game and come shopping with me and my mom? We need someone to carry all the bags,” I tried to tease.

  “If that’s what you want, I’ll go with you. But I think Annabelle is looking forward to talking about me without me there.” He kissed my neck again then turned me to face him. Cupping my neck in one hand, he used his thumb to tilt my head up so our gazes met. “It’s going to be okay. Your dad isn’t going to freak too bad when he meets me. I’m going to med school next year, babe. I think dads are supposed to want their daughters to find a rich doctor and settle down.”

  “My dad is a little unconventional,” I mumbled, snuggling deeper into him. This was my favorite place to be, right here in his arms with his heartbeat under my ear and his clean, masculine scent in my nose. Everything inside of me ached to be closer, for him to kiss me and carry me to the bed he had proclaimed ours.

  But other than kissing and his holding me all night, things hadn’t progressed past that this week. He said there was no rush, but I wasn’t sure if I was glad he was taking that part of our relationship slowly or disappointed. My body was one big ache for this man, and I just wanted him to make me come, damn it.

  “From what you’ve told me about him, I’m guessing that’s an understatement.” He kissed the top of my head before stepping back. “He’s not going to scare me off, Mieke,” he promised, and I felt some of my tension begin to release. “I can handle your dad no matter what he wants to throw at me.”

  “Promise?” I whispered, hating how unsure I sounded. My insecurity hadn’t lessened this week like I’d hoped it would with my concussion getting better, and I felt like I was never going to get back to the confident me who didn’t second-guess anything in my life.

  By this point, I’d expected him to be tired of having to reassure me over and over again about every little thing. Instead, he smiled and kissed the tip of my nose. “I promise. Now, get your sexy ass in the shower. We’re supposed to meet your family in the stadium parking lot so I can tailgate with the men, and you can go shopping with your mom and aunt.”

  I looked up at him through my lashes. “Want to wash my back?”

  His entire body hardened, his blue eyes darkening to almost black. “Don’t tempt me, baby. We don’t have the time for what I would do to you in that shower if I touched your wet body right now.” He lowered his head, his breath warm against my lips. “It has been pure agony not touching you how I really want to, but I want our first time to mean something.”

  I stroked my hands down his chest. “What, you want to wait until we’re married before you put your dick in me or something?” I teased.

  “Don’t even joke about that,” he warned, his lips brushing over mine. “But yeah. Maybe I want a commitment from you first.”

  I slapped him across the chest playfully. “Um, hello, I moved in with you. Isn’t that a commitment?”

  “I want more, Mieke,” he said quietly, his eyes suddenly serious. “I want forever with you. When you’re secure enough to want that too, I’ll make love to you.”

  The way he said “make love to you” made me shiver with anticipation. Biting my lip, I started to melt against him, but he stepped back, his grin returning. “Nope. There’s no time. Now, get in the shower. I don’t want to be late the first time I meet your parents.”

  Shooting him a mock glare, I rushed back to our room and jumped in the shower.

  An hour later, we walked over to the stadium. Dad and Uncle Noah were already setting up a grill and even had a TV plugged in, tuned to ESPN. Dad was wearing his favorite Alabama T-shirt, as was Uncle Noah, but Ben was wearing school colors, and I knew it was just to show me some support.

  Mom saw us first and waved as she put Jaco in his Pack ’n Play that had an attachable umbrella to keep the sun off him. Straighteni
ng, she practically bounced forward to throw her arms around me. “Hey, baby!” she greeted, squeezing me tight. “Oh, I’ve missed you so much the last few weeks.”

  I hugged her back, feeling better just by having her hold me. When she stepped back, she brushed her eyes over me from head to toe before hugging me again.

  Behind me, Kaden cleared his throat, and Mom finally released me to focus on him. She gave him an appraisal from top to bottom and them back again before grinning. “The future Dr. Kaden Carmichael, I presume.”

  He inclined his head and offered her his hand. “Yes, ma’am. It’s nice to meet you.”

  “Dear Lord, he has manners. I haven’t met a boy with manners in forever,” she said with a dreamy little sigh. “Ben doesn’t count. I helped beat manners into his head.”

  “Harris has manners,” I reminded her. Dad’s best friend and bandbrother’s son wasn’t much younger than me, and he had great manners—when adults were around.

  “Harris doesn’t count either. He’s family too,” she dismissed. “And he’s not trying to claim my baby’s heart.”

  The thought of Harris Cutter wanting my heart was amusing. We all knew who his future revolved around, even if he wasn’t aware of it yet. But Lucy Thornton was way too young at the moment, and Harris was far too wild to figure it out just yet. Still, everyone who looked at those two could practically see the strings connecting their hearts.

  “There’s my girl!” Dad exclaimed as he jogged over and lifted me into his arms. He swung me around twice before kissing my cheek and setting me on my feet.

  I leaned into him for a minute. For the most part, I’d gotten over my irrational feelings where he was concerned this past week, but some of it still lingered. At least the urge to scream at him had passed within a day or so. Stupid concussion had nearly made me ruin everything between my dad and me. We were close, maybe closer than some father-daughter relationships where they had been part of each other’s lives from birth.

  The rational side of my brain was working again, and I knew he would have been part of my life from the beginning if he’d known about me. I didn’t blame either him or Mom for it because they were both young and dumb back then. I was just thankful I had him now.