Finding Me (Pack Bardot Book 2)

by M. K. Harper

  “That man is fine as hell, but how you don’t strangle him on a daily basis, I’ll never know!” He throws his arms up and flops down in exasperation causing me to jab my eye painfully, exactly what I was hoping to avoid.

  “Fucking fuck-nugget, you son-of-a-whore! Owwww,” I whine, fanning my eyeball. He scrunches his nose, but the asshole doesn’t bother to say sorry. I glare at him, hoping to convey just how annoyed I am, but he just stares back. Completely unfazed.

  “Um, excuse me. I believe we were discussing my problems.” Well, pardon the fuck outta me for thinking that today, off all days, would be about little ole me. My best friend sure does have a knack for upstaging everyone else. I snort, shaking my head at him, but also thankful that he’s here and pushing away my nerves. Hell, whenever Chev is in the room, there isn’t enough space for anything but his ego.

  “Seriously, Lin. He’s driving me, and everyone else out there bat shit crazy. He’s pacing the floors like a crackhead jonesing for his next hit. Keeping that man away for twenty-four whole hours might actually be considered cruel and unusual punishment for him.” I smirk, thinking about what led us to this point. You see, Dax made me a promise. He swore he was gonna ‘bond the shit out of me’ the very next day after their little soirée with Pack Ames. And yet here we are...seven days later. Why you might ask? Well, my sweet Daxton refused to bond with me until there were no traces of anyone else’s bite on his body, so that only mine would be visible. He’s also been the most anal-retentive little shit while he’s been ‘healing’.

  The man-cold has nothing on Dax’s so-called bite. We should probably buy stock in rubbing alcohol if this is how he plans to be after every boo-boo he gets. While his reasoning for wanting to wait is sweet, I’ve become very impatient. And every day that has passed without being mated to him, my insides have rioted. I feel restless and agitated, terrified of what new threat may be looming on the horizon to stop us yet again. So, I’ve kindly returned the favor, and insisted that we not see one another for the last twenty-four hours before the ceremony. Dax read through my bullshit immediately, stating that that was a tradition for weddings, not Lycan mating ceremonies. To which I responded with a very mature, I don’t fucking care.

  “I can literally see the joy you’re taking from this,” Chevy shakes his head at me, but he’s smiling. Now that my eye has finally stopped watering, I slap a few more coats of mascara on and call it good. We have less than an hour before the ceremony is set to start, but I planned my day like this on purpose. I didn’t want loads of extra time leftover with nothing else for me to do but sit around and overthink. I’m already anxious about standing in front of the entire pack and having our bonding be so public, but apparently, there is no quickie courthouse version like there is for weddings. I move over to the garment bag that’s hanging from an old wardrobe in the guest room that I’ve been getting ready in, and slowly unzip it. My breath catches as I take in the beautiful dress before me. Beatrix insisted that the shop in town re-design her dress that she wore for her and Carder’s bonding. I admit I was skeptical at first, but looking at it now, I’m blown away. Quickly sliding out of Dax’s button-down dress shirt I’d been wearing, I slip into the dress and turn so that Chevy can zip me up. We both stand there, gaping at the mirror. It falls just above my knee, the white lace cinching a bit at my waist before flaring out the tiniest bit. A cute little string ties the neckline together, leaving a perfect little peek-a-boo of my cleavage. I step into the dainty sandals my mom picked out, shocked that it’s really me in the reflection staring back at me.

  “You’re beautiful, Lin.” Chevy wraps his arms around me from behind and kisses my cheek. My hands fall over his, clutching him back.

  “I never expected you, or Dax. Or any of this really. But I can’t tell you how grateful I am that you’re a part of my life. You’re my best friend, and I have no idea how I made it seventeen years without you.” We’re both teary eyed when the door opens and Mom and Beatrix step in. They both gasps, hands flying to their mouths. In no time, there’re flittering around me, dabbing Kleenex’s at my eyes.

  “None of that! You’ll ruin your makeup, Indy.” Mom huffs, but I can see how much she’s enjoying this moment. I snag her hands and pull her in for a hug. We stay that way for a while, just holding one another and relishing in everything this day means for the both of us. I’m so thankful we were brave enough to get out, to escape my father so that we can have these important milestones that we likely never would have gotten the chance to experience if we were still under this thumb. As soon as we part, I’m passed right over to Beatrix’s waiting arms.

  “I couldn’t be happier that it’s you Dax’s wolf chose. That fate chose. You were destined to be a part of this family, love.” Well, if not crying was the goal, I’m failing spectacularly. I swipe at my eyes and try to shake off the emotional whiplash.

  “Lindy?” That sweet voice sounds from the door. Peering around, I see my little dude dressed in khaki pants and a white dress shirt, tucked in and all.

  “You look so handsome, LT!” I open my arms just in time for him to leap up.

  “Nona made me wear it.” He gives her the stink eye and we all chuckle, knowing good and well that as soon as he can, he’ll try and get rid of this outfit so he’ll never be forced to wear it in the future. Just the other day he shoved some old SpongeBob pajamas he no longer approved of into the garbage disposal, forcing Dax to spend an entire day taking it apart to get the shredded material out. It was fucking hilarious. He smiles at me, then rest his tiny hands on my cheeks.

  “You’re the most beautiful girl there ever was, soulmate.” And then he grumbles something under his breath about Dax beating him to first dibs. I can only shake my head.

  “You gonna walk me down to Dax?” I look right into those baby blues that completely stole my heart. Well, at least a huge part of it.

  “I guess if I have to,” Caulder gripes. I snuggle him closer, loving the way he tightens his arms around me as well. I’m so excited for Dax and me to talk to him about the adoption papers that are burning a hole in my figurative back pocket. I wanted to tell him immediately, but we both decided to wait till after the ceremony, agreeing it would be best to have that conversation once things have died down a bit. From the corner of my eye, I see Beatrix take a call. Her worried eyes meet mine and then she turns, clearly trying to avoid me picking up on whatever’s happening. Yeah, not gonna work for me. As soon as she hangs up, I’m on her.

  “Out with it, Beatrix.”

  “I’m not quite sure what you mean, Linden.” She smooths her hair back, even though there isn’t a strand out of place. My eyes narrow, but I keep quiet, knowing if I wait long enough, she’ll spill. Annnnd, 3...2...1....

  “Ok!” her hands fly up. “O-kay,” she emphasizes, causing me to bite back a snort. “A rabid wolf has been apprehended. They caught it trying to sneak in from the north border. Dax and Carder are going to check on things, make sure the wolf is properly contained.” She shifts nervously, which apparently, is a Bardot trait, already knowing how well I’m going to take this little revelation.

  “Oh, hell no.” Caulder hops down. Smart boy, learning early to get out of the way when a woman is on the warpath. I stomp to the door and fling it open, marching my ass right down the steps, to where I find my mate and his father whispering in the living room. Their heads whip around, both of their jaws dropping. Dax’s eyes heat as he stalks towards me. Oh, no.

  Look away, Linden. Don’t let him distract you.

  “Baby,” he growls, pulling me against him. “You look so fucking beautiful.” His nose runs along my neck as he inhales deeply, the same thing he does every single time he gets me in his arms. “I’m at the very edge of my restraint, Linny. My wolf wants nothing more than for me to sink my teeth into your neck, right here and now.” He finishes that little declaration with a soft nip at the flesh right beneath my ear. My legs turn to jello and a tiny whimper escapes me, right there in front of Carder. What a
shameless hussy I’ve become.

  “Goddangit, son. How many times do we gotta tell you to stop breakin’ her?” Papa Wolf grumbles, making me bury my head against Dax’s chest in embarrassment. The way his chest vibrates with laughter is even more of a turn on. Poof. There went my panties. Not sure when my nervous hang-ups turned into anxious excitement, but all worries about what comes after the bonding have fled the building. Which is probably what makes me bold enough to playfully bite Dax’s chest, right above his heart. The low growl he releases and the flash of his eyes tells me I’m pushing it, and damn if I don’t relish in being able to make him just as delirious with want as he makes me.

  “Okay, separate!” Carder squeaks, which would be downright comical if I weren’t so turned on. “Daxton, let’s go resolve that little problem with our uninvited guest so that the two of you can get this bonding ceremony on the road before you throw tradition out the damn window and end up makin’ a pup right here on my livin’ room floor! I’d have to tear the whole damn house down and start over...” he shivers in revulsion, but we all know how happy he’d be if a grandbaby was in the near future. I think he’s gonna have to wait a bit on that one, though. We’ve already moved this relationship at hyper-speed. Maybe we can slow down for a bit after today and just be.

  “I’ll be right back,” Dax leans down and kisses my forehead.

  “Um, no.” He looks at me in confusion. “If you go, I go. Splitting up is how everything always goes to shit in the scary movies.” I make sure to give him my absolute best, I’m-not-taking-no-for-an-answer glare. He shakes his head at me, doing his best to smother a smile, but doesn’t argue. He entwines our hands and we head out the door, Carder following close behind and making jabs under his breath about who’s wearing the pants in our relationship. Might as well train ‘em early!

  Chapter 20

  Daxton

  The second we got word about the trespasser, my instincts went on high alert. For some reason, I’ve got a gut feeling that this isn’t just some lone wolf who accidentally wandered onto the wrong pack’s land. And us wolves know not to ever question our gut. Our initial reactions are typically right. That primal part of us just knows instinctively when something is amiss. The absolute last thing I want to do is bring Linny into a potentially dangerous situation, but the woman is headstrong and telling her no will not end well for me. And I have plans for our night to end very well. When she flew down the stairs, looking pissed off and hot as fuck, my wolf rattled that mental cage I’ve been keeping him locked in for the past seven days like it was a rag doll. I haven’t shifted since we got back from our confrontation with Pack Ames a week ago.

  Maybe it’s the adrenaline from that night, or just everything we’ve all been through since Linny was taken, but my wolf is desperate. He wants his mate, fully bonded,

  and in every sense possible. I thoroughly agree, but when my girl’s bite claims me, I don’t want any trace of another on my skin. My flesh is her canvas and I only want her artwork there, not some strung out wolf’s who may or may not have been high on bath salts. I’m well aware that he was Feral, but that was some next level shit. I shiver just thinking about it, and maybe even throw up in my mouth a little. I sterilized my skin for days, even considered tossing some bleach on it. It’s safe to say I’ve been the butt of the entire pack’s jokes. They can laugh it up, though. I’m sure they’d have done the same thing if they were in my position.

  The closer we get to the gym, the more nervous I grow. I grip Linny’s hand tighter, causing her to shoot me a questioning glance. I just smile or try to at least. My wolf’s on edge, and neither of us want our mate walking into something we aren’t sure of. The screech of the door makes my girl flinch, but she takes a deep breath and I watch her visibly shake off whatever just spooked her. I’ve got all sorts of questions about that, but now isn’t the time. The basement of the gym is where we store old equipment and other items the pack has no use for but we’ve yet to make time to donate. It’s a bit crowded and smells kinda musty. In the back corner is a steel cage that we’ve only had to use once in my lifetime, as far as I know. Any time a wolf has a loss of control, this is where they’re brought until they’ve managed to pull themselves together. Sometimes it’s due to a sickness that unsettles our other half, or maybe it’s from the death of a mate. Either way, we have this holding cell for the safety of the rest of the pack and the wolf in distress.

  Every step forward feels heavier. I know, deep down, that whoever is waiting for us, it ain’t gonna be good. The moment the wolf in question comes into view, I nearly throw up. Gagging, I cover my nose and try and breathe through my mouth. The rust colored animal is missing patches of fur, foaming at the mouth, all while snarling and ramming against the steel confines. It smells like it rolled in shit and there are twigs and other debris stuck in what’s left of its coat. The smell is so pungent, I can’t even discern if the wolf is male or female.

  “Oh God, that’s gross.” Linny coughs, trying not to breathe either. “Ughhhck,” she gags. “Ew, fuck. I can taste it.” Her voice makes the wolf’s head snap around, its fiery eyes pinned straight on my girl and any efforts of escape all but forgotten. My wolf is pacing, snarling in my head. We don’t like their focus on our mate in the fucking least. Linny goes completely still. I’m not sure she’s even breathing. Her and the rabid animal stare one another down for what feels like an eternity, Pop and I both watching it all unfold but not having a clue what’s happening. Her hand starts to tremble, and that’s when I’ve had enough of whatever the hell this is.

  “Baby,” I say softly. When she’s still lost in this battle of who’s gonna blink first, I speak a bit more forcefully. “Linny.” I shake her just a bit. She finally gulps in air, her chest expanding rapidly, and then she turns to me slowly.

  “What is it, baby? Do you need to leave? You don’t have to see this; I know it’s a lot.” My mate has been through hell, and the last thing she needs to witness is another deranged wolf. I watch as she gradually pulls herself together, until she’s completely composed. Linny’s eyes open and close slowly several times, her focus now on the ground. When she finally raises her head back up, those crystal blue orbs are filled with fire and rage. My brows furrow, not quite sure what to make of this change in her demeanor. Her head snaps back to the wolf. The hand I’m still holding tightens around mine painfully, but I don’t pull away or even flinch. Whatever she needs, I’ll gladly give it.

  “Benjamin,” she sneers. For a second, I’m wholly confused. And then, like a brick to the face, it all comes into focus. Operating on autopilot, I spin Linny behind me and block her from the vile asshole who doesn’t deserve to lay eyes on her ever again. My wolf is seconds from taking over, wanting nothing more than to rip apart the sorry piece of shit in front of us, who’s still just staring at my girl. Linny steps out from behind me, which does nothing to help lessen my wolf’s agitation. Right now, all we can focus on is protect. For my baser half, the solution is simple. Kill the sick fuck. When the garbage is full, you take it out. And he’s over-fucking-flowing. It takes a shit-ton of effort not to snatch her back behind me. But I wait, not so patiently, to see what she’s gonna do. You could hear a damn pin drop in the gym above us it’s so quiet. Linny’s feet move, her steps slow and calculated, drawing her closer to the cage that holds the creator of her nightmares. I’m trying, I really am, but I am not okay with her being that close to him. Everything that could go wrong is flashing through my mind.

  “Linny,” my voice is guttural, the fragile hold I have on my wolf evident. Her hand raises ever so slightly, holding me off. I fists my hands, fighting every instinct I have to get her as far away from here as I can, as fast as fucking possible. When she’s isn’t more than a foot away, she stops. Shocking the hell out of me and Pop, who still looks bewildered, she spits in the Feral wolf’s face. It doesn’t move, not even a twitch of its muscle. Believe me, my eyes are homed in, waiting for the slightest movement.

  Give me a fuc
king reason, asshole. Not that I don’t already have a million.

  “Fuck. You.” Linny growls. Her eyes are bright, damn near iridescent they’ve lightened so much. Not for the first time, I swear I’m seeing a hint of her wolf that I know she has in there. I can feel her, and right now, she’s livid. Linny spins around, wiping all emotion from her face. Like shutters have been lowered, she exhales and shakes out her arms. I watch the tension slowly leave her, wanting nothing more than to wrap her in my arms and make everything bad that’s ever happened to her disappear, like it was never anything more than a mirage. The faintest hint of a dream that she can’t fully recall. Unfortunately, that isn’t possible, and I knew this day would eventually come. I just didn’t expect it to be today, of all days. A goddamn break from life’s curveballs would be fantastic right about now. I feel like we’ve taken a few hits recently, so shouldn’t we get to leisurely walk the bases for a bit before the next crock of shit gets hurtled at us?

  “Papa Wolf,” Linny speaks calmly, no trace of that previous anger that was just pouring out of her. “I’d like you to meet my sperm donor, Benjamin Britton. Or whatever’s left of him.” She waves her hand dismissively at the sad excuse of a wolf, who remains creepily still and staring at my girl. I watch Linny’s words sink in. Pop’s jaw grinds together and his eyes flash that same amber color mine do when our wolves are fighting to take the lead. For a second, I wonder which side of him will win. To say he’s protective of my mate would be an understatement. Ole Ben ain’t got a clue what he’s brought upon himself by coming here. The best thing he could’ve done was stay far, far away and hope to God I never took enough vacation time to hunt him down my damn self.