No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  Connor stepped into view from beside the house, his hands stuffed in his pockets. “Hi Indy,” he said. “It’s good to see you back home.”

  Indy’s head dazzled. Josh looked way too healthy for someone who just had a major breakdown, even if he had stayed in the clinic for a few weeks afterward. And Connor didn’t look guilty at all, which he should have if he really had broken up with Josh. Which meant that he hadn’t, that he’d only pretended, because…why? What reason could Connor have to pretend to break up with Josh and go back to Boston?

  Indy looked from Josh to Connor, and it clicked.

  “Oh, damn… It was you.”

  Tears filled his eyes, and he lifted his hands to cup Josh's cheeks. “You did this for me, for us.”

  Connor stepped in, and Indy dragged his eyes away from Josh to look at Connor. “And you helped him. I don’t know how you did this, how you set it up, but it was you. Both of you.”

  Josh placed his own hands on top of Indy’s, looked him straight into his eyes. “We’ll never talk about this ever again, you hear me? Ever.”

  Indy blinked. “But Noah, he’ll…”

  “Noah won’t know. He won’t figure it out like you did, because he doesn’t see me like you do. In his eyes, I’ll always be the weaker one, the one who needs protection. It’s you and Connor who see me differently.”

  Indy realized at once how accurate Josh's statement was. Noah loved Josh with all he had, but Josh was right. Noah would never be able to fully let go of his protectiveness toward him, developed over years of having his back. He would’ve never thought Josh was strong enough for this—but he was. He had been. Josh had done the only thing that set Indy free.

  “God, Josh, you saved me. What you did—“

  “Was nothing more than what you did for me by going after my attackers. And we both did it for ourselves as much as we did it for the other. You belong here with us, Indy. We belong together, as a family, and I would have done anything to make that happen.”

  Indy nodded, tears still streaming down his face. Josh kissed his forehead, then let go of his hands. Indy dropped his hands from Josh’s cheeks, turned to Connor. He hesitated for a second, then opened his arms and hugged the big man. Connor’s arms came around him, and soft lips pressed a kiss on his head. “It’s wicked good to see you back home, kid,” Connor said, his voice a little hoarse.

  Indy released him, stepped back. “What explanation are you gonna give Noah for your return?”

  Connor and Josh shared a quick look. “Undercover work for the Boston PD, which is sort of true. Don’t ask me for details, Indy, because I’ll never tell, but I was in Boston the whole time, working on the Fitzpatricks’ case. If Noah asks, we can tell him I helped collect the evidence against them used in the raids.”

  Indy nodded. “That’ll work. I don’t think Noah will get suspicious.” He looked from Connor to Josh. “Does Connor know…” His voice trailed off. Maybe he should’ve asked Josh this in private. Damn. That fucking filter of his was still not functioning.

  “Yeah. I knew Connor wasn’t really breaking up with me, and he gave me permission to let Noah fuck me, when necessary. It was, both for Noah and for me. God, Indy, I’ve never seen him in such a dark place. It scared me. Losing you, he took it hard.”

  “I know. I wish it had been differently, but I don’t know what else I could have done. And thank you, for taking care of him.” Indy suddenly remembered, slapped his forehead. “Oh, shit. Miles is coming to stay. And we have Brad and Charlie here as well, with Brad’s dog, Max.”

  Josh's eyes widened. “They’re still here? And who the fuck is Miles?”

  Indy quickly caught them up on what had gone down in Kansas and what the deal was with Miles, including his condition. He figured it would be wise, especially with Connor around. Josh wouldn’t care, but Connor’s reactions weren’t always predictable yet to Indy.

  “Miles is a great guy, honestly. Be careful, though. He’s smart. Really smart. The guy’s got a degree in psychology, and he’s fucking sharp. Don’t even drop a hint, because he’ll catch on.”

  Josh sighed. “Well, great.”

  Indy’s shoulders hunched. “If I’d known Connor would be coming back, I would’ve never invited him.”

  Josh bent over, kissed his head. “It’s fine. We’ll make it work.”

  “It’s a lot of people, though,” Connor said.

  Josh smiled. “Then that twelve-seat massive dining table I ordered for the kitchen will come in handy, won’t it?”

  “I had a different purpose in mind for that table,” Connor growled.

  Indy laughed. “We christened it for you. Noah and I are happy to report it’s sturdy and at the perfect height.”

  Josh spontaneously hugged him again. “God, it’s so good to see you, hear your voice.”

  “Why are we still standing outside? Let’s go in,” Connor said.

  4

  This could either be the biggest mistake of his life, or the best decision he’d ever made. Only time would tell which one it was, but Miles had to admit he was a little apprehensive as he sat in the back of Noah’s car.

  “Let’s go home,” Indy had said. Miles envied him that, a sense of truly being home somewhere. He’d lost that feeling when he’d lost his parents and sister, had never regained it. His apartment in DC was not even close to being a home. It could have been a hotel—it sure felt like it to him at times.

  Noah and Indy’s house would be different, he was sure. Indy had made another reference to them being very open about sex. Miles wasn’t entirely sure what to expect, but at least he didn’t have to fear a negative reaction about Brad helping him.

  Which he would around five, according to plan. Apparently, he had to work late—he’d said something about a meeting—but after that, he’d promised to help Miles. Help. Now, there was a nice euphemism.

  He’d made him come three times last night, so Miles should be okay till later. Though maybe he shouldn’t think about Brad too much, lest his cock decided it wanted to get a head start on things.

  “This is it,” Indy said as they turned into the driveway of a dark red farmhouse. Not at all what Miles had expected. “We’ve given you the former in-law wing for now. It has its own entrance and bathroom, so you’ll have more privacy than when you’d be staying in one of the guest rooms.”

  “Wow, thanks. Who did I kick out of their own bedroom?”

  Indy laughed. “That would be me and Noah, but we’re fine. We confiscated the last empty guest room, and we can share a bathroom with Josh and Connor.”

  Something told Miles Indy preferred sharing a bathroom with them, but he kept his mouth shut. He’d discover soon enough what the deal was with these four. Or not. He’d not yet met Josh and Connor, but according to Noah and Indy, they were fully on board with Miles moving in temporarily, even though Brad and his friend, Charlie, were also still staying there.

  Noah parked the car in the driveway, as close to the front door as possible. “I’ll get Connor to help,” he said. “I don’t fully trust my leg yet, so I can’t support you.”

  Miles nodded. Noah had lost a leg in Afghanistan, he’d read in Indy’s file, and had recently needed surgery to amputate even higher up, due to complications. “Okay.”

  The man who stepped outside with Noah a few minutes later was massive. Broad arms and chest in a tight Red Sox shirt, strong legs. Miles recognized him from the pictures in the file. Ignatius O’Connor, called Connor by everyone. The last Miles had heard, the guy had been balls deep in the Boston crime scene, so he had no idea what had happened there.

  Connor’s cheeks were flushed, as if he’d been doing something physical, and he and Noah were arguing about something.

  “I don’t believe this,” Indy muttered, threw open his door and left it open as he stepped out. “Seriously? You guys were fucking again? At the rate you’re going, poor Josh won’t be able to sit for a week.”

  Connor shrugged. “At least he’ll know who
he belongs to.”

  Noah shook his head. “You’re a regular fucking caveman, O’Connor. You would have done great with the dinosaurs.”

  “Now why would I want to fuck a dinosaur? You’re not making any sense,” Connor said, his Boston accent thick.

  Indy opened the door on Miles’ side. “Let’s get this guy inside so he can rest.”

  Another man stepped outside. Tall, lanky, with cute, boyish looks. That had to be Joshua Gordon. He walked carefully, as if something hurt. Miles’ eyes narrowed. Had Connor hurt him? Josh took another careful step, and the source became clear. His ass. Had Indy been right? Holy crap, what kind of people were they?

  Connor turned to watch Josh, and a look of pure love painted his face. Damn, but this was way more than mere fucking. Like with Noah and Indy, the love was palpable.

  “You okay, babe?” Connor asked.

  Josh leaned in, kissed him. “Yes, Connor.” Connor’s face lit up with happiness and a deep satisfaction.

  “Shit, guys, sometime today, please?” Indy said, tapping his foot.

  Connor came over. “Sorry. Connor,” he said, holding out his hand.

  Miles grabbed it. There was time for questions later. “Miles. Thanks for having me.”

  “Not a problem, glad to have ya. Need a hand getting out?”

  “Yes, please,” Miles said. No need to be proud when it hurt like crazy.

  Connor reached under his arms, lifted him up like he weighed nothing, then gently put him on his feet. Wow, badass much? He leaned heavily on the guy as they walked inside, but at least he walked. No fucking wheelchair here.

  Connor led him straight to a sunny bedroom, where a king size bed was waiting for him. He sat down on the bed, panting with the effort. A gorgeous black Labrador trotted in, apparently curious what all the commotion was about.

  “That’s Max, Brad’s dog,” Indy said, kneeling to take off Miles’ shoes, while Josh slung back the comforter and fluffed the pillows. It wasn’t hard to see who the homebody was here. “He loves to cuddle, but we can keep him in the living room if you want.”

  “That’s fine. I like dogs,” Miles said.

  “Want me to take off your pants?” Indy asked.

  “Nah, that’s okay.” He was hard again. No fucking way was he showing that to these four men.

  “Miles, they don’t care,” Indy said. “If you want to stay here, you gotta trust us that we’re okay with you. We want you to be able to be yourself. Nobody gives a fuck. I told you, we’re all sexual deviants here.”

  Noah grinned, while Josh chuckled. “It’s true,” Josh said. “Connor’s cum is literally dripping out my ass as we speak, since he came right when you guys pulled up.”

  “Joshua!” Connor’s voice sounded stern, but the twinkle in his eye belied his anger. “Do you need another spanking?”

  Miles’ eyes widened. What the fuck?

  “Yes, Connor. I mean, no, Connor.”

  Yeah, that slip up had been completely intentional, Miles had no doubt.

  “I don’t care what you do, as long as you’re not hogging the shower again. I have plans with Indy for that shower,” Noah said.

  “Okay, okay.” Mile raised his hands. “Take the damn pants off. Holy fuck, I feel like I walked onto the set of a porn movie.”

  Indy giggled. “Actually, it often looks like that here. That’s why we installed you here, so you can choose to limit your exposure to our…activities.”

  With quick hands, he undid the waist strings of Miles’ jogging pants. “Lift your hips,” he said. Miles raised his ass off the bed, and Indy dragged the pants down, revealing Miles’ tight white boxers that were barely containing his raging hard on. Nobody so much as batted an eye, however, as if a hard on was the most normal thing in the world here.

  “When’s Brad coming home?” Indy asked conversationally as he folded Miles’ pants and put them on a chair.

  “Around five, he said.”

  “Good. If you need anything, press the buzzer. It rings a bell in our kitchen. If you want something to eat, you’ll need to tell Josh. He’s our best cook. I can make a decent meal, but Noah and Connor will feed you crap, so choose wisely.”

  Miles nodded.

  “You said you wanted to take a shower? Do you think Brad would help you? The shower here has extra handrails and shit, including a shower bench, so that makes it easier. If you need more help, Connor would be happy to help you.”

  Miles doubted the big guy was okay with Indy so casually offering his help, but when he looked over to Connor, he was nodding in agreement. Huh. Interesting dynamic here. Indy seemed to be at the center of it all, which Miles had not expected.

  “I dunno. I’ll ask Brad, but if not, I’ll ring for help.”

  Indy nodded. “We’ll let you rest. Miles…” He waited till Miles looked at him. “This is your home now. You would honor our hospitality by truly making yourself at home. Do whatever you want, okay? There’s no need to pretend here. And FYI: we have enough sheets to change the bed daily.”

  His heart welled up with warmth. What had he done to deserve this friendship? It was an unexpected gift he intended to treasure. “Thank you. All of you. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  They walked out, smiling and joking with each other, Max following them out. Connor slapped Josh's ass playfully, and the taller guy kissed his cheek in response. They were absolutely fucking nuts, but he’d never felt more welcome anywhere.

  He took his shirt off as well, then decided to go completely nude. Fuck, he loved the sensation of his bare ass against the sheets. The downside was that it didn’t help with his boner, but he felt so free. He laid down on the bed, inhaled deeply. The sheets smelled fresh, like lavender, and the crisp cotton was cool against his heated skin. So this was what a home smelled like. He fell asleep in under a minute.

  Hmm, something delicious was teasing his toes. Wet, hot, sucking. He arched his back, moaned.

  His eyes flew open. What?

  He lifted his head, watched in amazement as an almost naked Brad sucked on the toes of his right foot. He was sporting a black pair of loose fitting boxers on a tight, lean body. Not an ounce of fat. Miles’ big toe disappeared into Brad’s mouth and that delicious, sinful tongue lapped, sucked.

  Damn, his cock was throbbing. Who knew that having your toes sucked was so damn erotic?

  “Brad,” he breathed.

  Brad looked up, shot him a shy smile, as he let the toe pop out. “Hi.”

  “Don’t stop,” Miles said. “Please, don’t stop.”

  With that, Brad sucked his big toe right back into his mouth, went down on it like it was Miles’ cock. His head nodded and his cheeks hollow, he sucked on it with a force that had Miles gasping for breath.

  Brad gestured to pull up his legs, and Miles quickly obliged. His toe was sucked right back into that hot mouth, then Brad reached for his cock, fisted it tightly. One, two, three hard jerks and Miles was coming.

  His cum landed everywhere, but he didn’t care. Fuck, that had been good. “Damn, that’s a turn on,” he said to Brad when he’d caught his breath.

  Brad let go of his foot, shot him a sexy smile. “We’re only getting started.”

  “Why are you still wearing underwear?” Miles asked. The smile on Brad’s face disappeared. Miles frowned. What had he said wrong? “It’s okay,” he said quickly. “You can… It’s okay. Whatever you prefer.”

  “I don’t like being naked,” Brad said. “I prefer to leave my boxers on.”

  “Okay, that’s fine.”

  Miles let his head rest back on the pillow. Leaning on his arms was starting to bother his ribs.

  “I brought some toys,” Brad said. “And lube.”

  “Have at it. Whatever you like.”

  He should care, but he honestly didn’t. The orgasm had barely taken the edge off, and his balls throbbed painfully. When it got to that point, it was hard to think. All he wanted was to come, preferably hard and long so his balls
would empty.

  “O-o-okay.”

  He’d stuttered. Was there something wrong? “I meant it when I said everything is fine with me, Brad. Whatever you feel like, or feel comfortable with.”

  He closed his eyes, suddenly tired again. The bed moved, and warm hands touched his face. A cloth was pulled over his eyes, then Brad tied it. “Don’t look,” he told Miles.

  Okay, that was unexpected.

  “Are you clean?”

  Miles frowned. Wasn’t that a bit late to ask? The guy had given him dozens of blow jobs by now. “Yeah. Got tested three months ago and haven’t had sex since.”

  “Three months? Holy fuck.”

  “You?” Yeah, he should’ve have asked that sooner, too.

  “Yeah. I always use condoms, and I’m on PReP, but I get tested every month.”

  Every month, while taking PReP? Wow, the guy must have a serious sex life. Should he trust him? It was a little late to talk safe sex now.

  “I can show you my last results if you want,” Brad said more softly.

  “No. It’s fine. I trust you. I’ve never gone bareback, that’s all.”

  It was weird to talk when you couldn’t see the person you were talking with. Made him feel more vulnerable, yet at the same time it was easier to say shit.

  “Not even with your boyfriend? Indy said you got out of a relationship a while ago.”

  Miles sighed. “No. He didn’t want to, and in hindsight that made sense because it turned out he was screwing around for months. Guess I should be grateful he at least protected me from STDs.”

  Brad was quiet for a few beats. “Are you sure it’s okay? We can use condoms, it’s no biggie. It’s just that it’s a hassle to have to switch condoms every time you come, ‘cause I intend to make you come a few times in a row.”

  Fuck, yes, please. Paradise was around the corner, Miles could taste it. “No. It’s fine. I trust you.” It didn’t make sense at all, but he really did.

  The bed moved again, and Miles felt Brad touch his legs. A cap was flicked open, lube squeezed out. “Pull your feet up. Now raise your hips.”