No Shame: The Complete Series: Including exclusive bonus materials and deleted scenes

by Phoenix, Nora

  What did Charlie think of this dynamic, Josh wondered. He hadn’t interfered when Miles had confronted Brad, and he looked relaxed, amused even.

  Josh finished the bacon he’d been frying for Connor and Noah, to complement their eggs and sausage. Meanwhile, Indy was cutting fresh strawberries into small pieces, his tongue peeping out from between his lips.

  “Here’s your grease for the day,” Josh said, serving Noah and Connor both a full platter. His man sure loved his bacon, as did Noah, but Josh only made it on the weekends. He wanted to watch out for their cholesterol and all that.

  “Thanks, babe.” Connor looked like he wanted to smack his ass, but thankfully remembered Josh was still smarting and held back.

  Josh took out two tall glasses, while Indy grabbed the granola and the yogurt and handed Miles the eggs to start on their scrambled eggs. Josh made layers of strawberries, homemade granola, and greek yogurt. It looked nice, if he said so himself, and it would taste even better.

  “Thanks, baby,” Indy said and gave him a quick kiss on his cheek.

  They took spots next to each other, their elbows touching.

  Indy let out a sweet groan after the first bite. “Damn, this is good. Try this,” he said to Noah, leaning over the table to hold out a bite for him on the spoon.

  Noah took it, tasted. He shrugged. “I like my bacon better.”

  “Cavemen, that’s what you two are. Regular fucking cavemen. Barbarians,” Josh muttered.

  Indy’s hand found his, a gesture so simple, yet so profound. “It’s delicious.”

  Josh smiled. “Thank you.”

  They ate in quiet companionship, while Miles served both his men scrambled eggs and toast. The man was pretty handy in the kitchen, Josh had to admit. He wasn’t as good a cook as he himself was, but he could fix a decent breakfast or lunch.

  Charlie got his plate with a smile, but Miles held it out to Brad, obviously waiting for him to say something. Wow, he was keeping him on a tight leash, huh?

  “Thank you, Daddy,” Brad said meekly.

  “You’re welcome. You can talk again.”

  Josh chewed slowly, studying them. “We should introduce them to Master Mark,” he said to Connor.

  “Master Mark?” Miles asked.

  “He’s a Dom who’s teaching me and Connor about the Dom/sub relationship,” Josh said.

  “Really?” Miles said, leaning forward. “How does that work?”

  Josh did a quick check in with Connor to see if he was okay with sharing this, and he got the nod. “You have to fill out this huge list of what you like and what your limits are. He has this basement that’s basically a sex dungeon where you can play, or do a scene. He either watches and gives suggestions, you can ask him for specific demonstrations, or you can let him participate.”

  “He fucks you?” Brad asked, the first time he’d said anything after his run in with Miles.

  “He merely observes with us,” Connor said. “I usually don’t like it when others touch Josh.”

  Josh smiled, noticing the word “usually.” Connor had to be talking about Indy. “Do you like being spanked?” he asked Brad. They might as well discuss it in the open, right? After all, the guy was sitting with a sore ass in the kitchen, his daddy across from him.

  Brad shrugged. “Kind of.”

  Josh frowned. “What do you mean? You either love it, or you don’t.”

  Miles gave Josh a reassuring smile. “So far, Brad has only experienced disciplinary spankings. Daily. And he’s well on his way to getting a second one today. He hasn’t earned a pleasure-spanking yet.”

  Well, that made sense, considering their dynamic. “You’ll love it,” Josh assured Brad. “Trust me, if you already kind of like a real spanking, you’ll love a pleasure-oriented one.” He shot a radiant smile in Connor’s direction. “Connor can get me to subspace in no time.”

  “What’s that?” Charlie asked.

  Josh smiled. Here he was, dishing out BDSM knowledge like he was an expert. Times certainly had changed. “It’s a pain-pleasure modus in your brain where you mentally check out and reach a level where you can take anything. It’s total peace, really. I can get there with a mix of steady pain and pleasure, for instance by spanking, or getting paddled, caned, maybe whipped, even fucked. Not everyone can reach it, apparently, but I don’t know why.”

  “Connor whips you?” There was true horror on Charlie’s face.

  “We’ve only bought one recently, but we haven’t tried it yet. It takes skill, so we have a session with Master Mark next week and he’ll teach Connor.”

  “If you do it wrong, it can leave lasting marks. There’s no way I’m hurting Josh, so I wanna get it right,” Connor explained.

  Charlie looked puzzled. “I don’t understand. You are hurting him, aren’t you?”

  “There’s a difference between hurting and pleasure-pain. My goal is to bring Josh pleasure through pain and a little humiliation, not humiliate or hurt him because I can. It’s what he needs, and I love taking care of him that way.”

  “Is that what you and Miles are doing as well?” Charlie asked Brad. Oy, how was Brad gonna answer that one? Josh wondered if Brad had even figured it out himself. This shit wasn’t easy, and they were just getting started.

  Brad seemed to think about it for a bit, but he didn’t look to Miles for help. “No, babe. I’ve been trying to analyze it, and I don’t have the full picture yet, but I want Miles to discipline me. I hate it when he does, but I need it and crave it at the same time.”

  “Brad missed out on a lot of structure, love, and attention when he was young, and he’s catching up now. He equals discipline with love—and it is, in many ways. I love providing this for him and taking care of him this way. But even then, it’ll be a while before he stops rebelling,” Miles said calmly.

  Josh was amazed at Miles’ insights in this. He would have never linked Brad’s obviously traumatic childhood to his needs as an adult, but now that Miles explained it, it made total sense.

  “But I would love to meet with this Master Mark,” Brad said softly. “Can we please, Daddy?”

  The surrender in his voice touched Josh. It showed how much he needed this, wanted this.

  “Yeah, absolutely. I’d love it if you joined us,” Miles said to Charlie.

  Charlie nodded. “If I can observe at first. With my clothes on.”

  “Whatever you’re comfortable with. You know how much fun it is to watch Brad squirm,” Miles teased.

  In an incredible childlike gesture, Brad stuck his tongue out at Miles. Fuck, Miles had been spot on. Brad really was still a boy in some aspects.

  “Bradford,” Miles said, his voice stern. Holy crap, even Josh had the urge to obey him when he spoke like that.

  Brad smiled innocently. “Sorry, Daddy.”

  Miles crooked a finger. “Come here.” Brad’s smile disappeared. He’d apparently thought he’d get away with it, considering they were in company.

  He reluctantly got up from the table and walked over to Miles.

  “You earned yourself another spanking, boy. Now, tell me, why am I disciplining you?”

  “How the fuck should I know?” Brad shot back.

  He really was craving discipline. Fuck, he was like a teen, testing his boundaries. Well, he certainly was about to discover them.

  “That’s ten extra. You wanna try again?”

  Brad sulked, then gave in. “Because I stuck out my tongue at you.”

  “Ten more. You won’t be able to sit by the time I’m done.”

  For the first time, Josh saw fear on Brad’s face. No, it was respect. He’d pushed against the limits, and his daddy had put his foot down. This was a man realizing he was about to pay the price for his stupidity. Josh felt sorry for him, yet envied him at the same time. “I disrespected you by sticking my tongue out, Daddy. I’m sorry.”

  “Okay, then. I accept your apologies, but you’ll still have to face your punishment. How many is that?”

 
“Forty-five, Daddy.”

  “Bedroom, now.”

  Brad obeyed immediately. “Yes, Daddy.”

  Miles sent Charlie a sweet smile. “Charlie, love, do you want to watch or stay?”

  Charlie quickly finished his eggs. “I’ll watch. We’re in this together.”

  Miles’ smile widened. “Thank you, love. Brad needs you as much as he needs me, you know that.”

  Josh watched with a warm feeling in his belly as Miles and Charlie made their way to the bedroom, hand in hand.

  16

  Miles and his boys came back a short while later. Connor noted Brad’s face was red and puffy. No wonder, with forty-five slaps. That hurt.

  Brad wanted to sit down, but Miles stopped him to put a fluffy pillow on the chair.

  “Thank you, Daddy,” Brad said meekly.

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart.” Miles kissed him on his head.

  Connor had to bite back a grin. Someone had gotten a little lesson in respect. He genuinely liked Brad. The guy was wicked smart, and his care for Charlie was endearing, but Connor had wondered about him lashing out at Miles constantly from the start. It all made much more sense now, and Connor respected Miles for taking the role Brad obviously needed so desperately.

  “So, Miles, can we boss Brad around as well, tell him to make food and shit?” he asked, trying to ease the tension a little.

  Miles flashed a grin. “Sadly for you, no. He obeys only me, and I take care of him, not the other way around.”

  “Too bad. I’m dying for a cup of tea.” One hard rule was that there was no coffee in his house. Luckily for him, neither Noah, nor Josh or Indy cared for it. He still couldn’t stomach even the smell.

  “You can make your own fucking tea,” Brad snapped.

  Connor raised his eyebrows at Miles. “Sorry, dude. I only discipline him for his interactions with me and Charlie, not with anyone else,” the FBI agent said.

  Connor shrugged. That actually made sense if you thought about it. “Okay, fair enough. Anyone else fancy tea?” Miles’ hand shot up, as did Charlie’s and Brad’s. Connor sent Brad a dark look. “You can make your own fucking tea.”

  Brad looked shocked, until Connor burst out laughing. “Fuck, you’re too easy.”

  Embarrassed, Brad joined in. Connor rose from his chair, slapped Brad playfully on his shoulder as he walked past him. “Just trying to get a feel for the rules here, bro.”

  “Fuck off, man. You got your own sub to boss around, what do you need me for?” Brad replied, smiling.

  The doorbell rang. Connor frowned, checked his watch. Sunday morning, 11 am. Who the hell would be stopping by now? Blake and Aaron, maybe? “You expecting your brother?” he asked Brad.

  “No. They’re gone for the day,” Charlie answered instead. “He’s taking Aaron to the city.”

  Connor made eye contact with Miles, who nodded. He got up, walked to Connor’s bedroom where the gun safe was. Connor had shown it to him shortly after he’d arrived, so Miles could put his gun in there when needed.

  “Everyone, stay in the kitchen,” Connor said.

  Josh and Indy immediately reached for each other, and Brad grabbed Charlie’s hand. Noah shot Connor a look that said he would make sure they were okay.

  Connor waited till he heard Miles open the safe, then walked toward the front door, where the door bell was rung for the second time. He looked through the glass.

  Dammit. Zack Waitley. Out of uniform, that at least.

  He opened the door, immediately blocking it with his foot. “Good morning, Officer. How can I help you?”

  “So you know who I am,” Waitley said.

  “Yeah. You’re the asshole who beat Charlie to a pulp.”

  “I know he’s here.”

  “Yeah, so?” Connor wasn’t gonna deny it. He’d figured Zack would find out sooner or later anyway.

  “I want to see him.”

  “Tough shit, as he doesn’t want to see you. Was that all?”

  He blinked, and the next second Waitley had drawn his gun. Connor froze to the spot, but his mind was crystal clear. “Let me inside,” Waitley demanded. “Now!”

  “Don’t be this stupid,” Connor said. From the corner of his eye, he caught a movement. A few more seconds was all he needed. “Put the fucking gun down. You’ know this won’t end well.”

  Waitley’s eyes narrowed, and he stepped closer. “Move aside.”

  Connor dropped to the ground in one fluid move, startling Waitley.

  “FBI, drop your weapon! Now!”

  Fuck, Miles sounded authoritative as shit in FBI-mode, Connor thought as he rolled to the side, moving as far away from Waitley as possible.

  “Drop your fucking weapon right now! Put your hands where I can see them!” Miles shouted.

  Waitley paled and raised his hands, but still held on to his gun. “This is Officer Waitley, Albany PD. I’m gonna turn around. Show me your badge.”

  “This is your last warning. I’m a federal agent, and I do not take orders from someone holding a gun. Put your weapon down, or I will shoot!”

  Thank fuck Miles had put his vest on. The damn thing had a massive FBI logo on the front and back that would easily help identify him. That asshole Waitley would not be able to shoot him and pretend he didn’t know he was dealing with a federal agent. For a few breathtaking seconds, Waitley hesitated, but then he finally lowered the gun to the ground.

  “Kick it away and keep your hands up.”

  With a killing look at Connor, Waitley kicked the gun. Connor exhaled, as he slowly sat up. Holy fucking moly. That had been way too close.

  “On your knees on the ground, hands behind your head,” Miles ordered.

  Waitley defiantly raised his chin. “Show me your badge.”

  Fuck, Connor wanted to hit him. Badly.

  Miles stepped around him, still holding his gun trained on the man. “Special Agent Miles Hampton, FBI, badge number 9529537.” He reached for his badge with his other hand, threw it on the ground in front of Waitley. “Connor, get me my phone.”

  Connor wasn’t too happy about leaving him with that crazy fucker, so instead he pushed the door open, shouted inside. “Brad, Miles’ phone please!”

  Waitley had picked up the badge, was now studying it, his face falling. “You can get this anywhere online,” he tried.

  “Sure,” Miles said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. “And I assume the standard issue FBI gun and the FBI vest come with it? Give it up, asshole.”

  Brad opened the door and handed Connor a phone.

  “Step next to me, dial 911 and hold the phone up to my ear,” Miles told Connor.

  Connor nodded. Miles was not taking any chances, and he was playing this smart. As he dialed, Brad stood in the door.

  “Brad, get inside,” Miles told him. “Close the door. Charlie needs you.”

  The first words clearly got Brad’s back up, but that last sentence did him in. His face softened and he nodded, doing as Miles had asked him. Thank fuck.

  “Dispatch, this is FBI agent Miles James Hampton, Washington DC Office. My badge number is 9529537. Request for immediate police assistance at 762 Rt 148 to arrest Albany PD Police Officer Zachary Waitley for statutory rape, aggravated assault, domestic violence, attempted kidnapping, and burglary.”

  Connor didn’t even attempt to suppress his smile. Miles was listing charges for no other reason than to piss Waitley thoroughly off. Police blotter would pick this up, and Waitley’s reputation—if he had any left—was done.

  “Suspect is in possession of a firearm, most likely his service weapon, and is in my custody awaiting arrest.”

  Connor could hear the dispatcher say something, but couldn’t make out what.

  “That’s negative, dispatch. You can reach me at this number when necessary.”

  He signaled to Connor to disconnect.

  “Connor, I need you to step inside for a minute, see if you can find any handcuffs. I didn’t bring mine, but maybe you can look
if you have some?”

  Connor knew for a fact he didn’t have any—not unless you counted the faux fur ones he used on Josh every now and then. He’d turned in his official ones when he turned in his badge. Miles wasn’t stupid. He wanted him inside for a reason, which meant Connor would trust him.

  “Sure thing. Be right back.” He didn’t look back, wondering what Miles was up to. It couldn’t be good, at least, not for Waitley.

  “Is Miles okay?” Brad asked as soon as Connor stepped inside. He was on the couch, holding a trembling Charlie. The tenderness Brad displayed toward that kid was amazing.

  “Yeah, he’s fine. How you holding up, kid?”

  Charlie nodded, cuddled closer to Brad, who kissed him on his head. “I’m okay. Is he gone?”

  “No. We’re waiting for the cops to come arrest him. He’s going to jail, Charlie. There’s no way out for him now.”

  Noah was in the living room as well, but Connor didn’t see Indy or Josh. “I sent them to our room to cuddle,” Noah said.

  Good. Josh didn’t need to see this. He’d experienced enough violence to last him a lifetime, and it would only trigger his PTSD. “I’m gonna step back outside,” Connor said. He’d given Miles time enough to do whatever he wanted to do, he figured.

  “Did you need anything?” Noah asked, curious.

  “No. Miles wanted a minute alone with Waitley.”

  Noah grinned. “Is he gonna be alive when you get back?”

  “Probably. Minus a few teeth, maybe.”

  Charlie sat up suddenly. “He’d hit him?”

  “Yeah, kid. He’d beat the shit out of him if he could. That’s your man out there, protecting you,” Connor said.

  “He can kill the fucker for all I care,” Brad said.

  Connor nodded. His sentiments exactly, though he suspected the FBI agent wouldn’t go quite that far. He was a federal agent, after all. Still, when he stepped outside, he wasn’t surprised to find Waitley flat on the ground, Miles’ foot holding down his neck.