In this town everything closes early. The Diner being open late on weekdays was pretty unusual. There isn’t a light in the parking lot so Jacob must have hit the main breaker. Because I had forgotten to shut the Diners outside neon signs down. It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dark. I could smell the dumpsters even in the cool air. I immediately started to shiver. Wet clothing was always a treat when the weather turned.
I headed in the general direction of my car knowing Jacob was right behind me. I stuck a hand in my pocket awkward with my hoodie and meal to dig out my keys. I heard Jacob stumble and fall behind me. I turned around fast to see if he was alright. I didn’t even get his name past my lips when something sharp and heavy hit me across the chest.
*
“It was my husband” I said.
Over… and over… and over again. It had taken them weeks to get this much from me… and yet they didn’t seem happy about what I had to say. The police officer looked at me like I was crazy. I brushed that aside. Some cops feelings concerning me weren’t important. HE was still out there. A cop sitting outside my door wasn’t going to slow him down.
I felt like he was coming. I wasn’t going to be able to survive a second time. I don’t think I survived the first. I was okay with not surviving this any longer.
“Your doctor said it was an animal” this had to be the hundredth time I heard that phrase. “Maybe it was a… bear…or… a panther. This isn’t the right country for them but it’s not unheard of for someone’s illegal pet to escape” The cop said this gently sitting next to my bed in the hospital.
It wasn’t his fault; I was having a hard time believing it was a person too. HE wasn’t exactly a person…but I knew if I told anyone that… I would never…ever leave this place. I needed to be complacent so I could be released. I was ready to go.
“I am so sorry this happened to you but we need any information you can give us” the cop wasn’t exactly being professional.
This didn’t…. just happen to me. For a moment rage boiled inside of me and I could feel faint shrieking inside my head. The monitors hooked up to me let off a quick shrill alarm…soon I would hear running feet down the endless hallways. From what I understood… this is the first time anyone had ever survived this kind of trauma.
I had so many people in here poking and prodding me I was afraid I was crazy. I actually knew that there wasn’t any way I was sane. Wings and talons and so…so much red…grey eyes and the pain left me…I couldn’t think of it again. I just wanted to sleep and hopefully… never wake up.
“It was my husband” I said again…. and again… and again…until finally… they just stopped asking.
*
I slammed into the side of the car. Sliding down it helpless and unable to stop myself from tilting over. I cracked my head on the pavement. A white hot burst of pain blinded me for a moment while I struggled to stay conscience.
I couldn’t think of any particular people I had pissed off enough to get jumped in an empty parking lot. Muggings in Noel were unheard of and my car wasn’t worth the effort of stealing it. This was something personal…and for the first time in years I thought of my husband.
This wasn’t my first time getting beaten…choking off the urge to vomit with shock…I shoved all my nightmares of agony away. I survived and I had every intention to continue to do so. This was my life now. I chose it for myself. Nothing could be as bad as before…nothing. I needed to…just…get…a…grip.
“Good job Darrell, she didn’t even scream” Tavis said.
I heard a loud shuffling snuffing sound but recognized Tavis’s voice immediately. Where ever Tavis is the rest of the nephews couldn’t be far behind. Cowards had a tendency to run themselves in packs. After all my years working with the nephews they still knew nothing about me. They thought I would start screaming over a little pain. I wouldn’t give them the satisfaction. I am annoyingly stubborn like that. I wondered what they had done to Jacob while I gathered myself.
“Glad Isaac’s special little bitch got what was coming to her” Kelly said.
I could barely make any of them out as I waited for my eyes to clear up. I focused harder on the voices to distract myself. The pounding in my head and the burn in my chest were not enough to overwhelm me…not yet. Heavy footsteps moved towards me and I could feel someone prodding me in the gut with a booted foot.
“Yeah” Tavis said.
His voice was just above me and I heard his foot draw back against the pavement. I knew that I was going to be kicked. I braced myself as much as I was able to… I was for the moment… on the ground. I’d make them kill me before I’d just take another beating.
Tavis’s foot connected with me solid in the stomach and I rolled a bit… playing at being unconscious. The pain was an acknowledgement to old scars and I waited patiently for the second blow. The years I had spent… recovering… had taught me a great deal about patience…and perseverance.
The pain I felt helped me bring everything into hyper focus. I could see his foot drawing back for another kick. Tavis was so clearly outlined in the dark he didn’t even look like a real person. Thinking of him as unreal made what I was going to do to him much easier.
His foot swung down and I stopped it with my outstretched arm. Even helpless and bleeding from the blow to my chest I had a lot of reach on him. Years of hard labor had left me strong. If I could get up I knew I could take him...but not both of them. I shoved the seed of self-doubt as far away as possible. I was not going to make… whatever this was… easy on anyone.
“Kelly!” Darrell yelled moving towards me.
I yanked hard on Tavis’s foot pulling him off balance taking him down to the ground. I scrambled on the pavement to get up on my feet. I took some skin off in my haste to rise. Looking down at the ‘man’ at my feet….I didn’t even hesitate.
I kicked Tavis in the head as hard as I could…and my work boots were steel toed. He was out for the moment…maybe for good. I had a moment of vertigo as I tried to straighten up but the pain cleared my head. Darrell was on me fast.
He tried to grapple with me which was his mistake. My height gave me leverage and it was Darrell’s faux pas to think I wouldn’t fight because I was just… a girl. He couldn’t get a good grip on my arms which were damp and oily from working all day. I had no problem fighting dirty. I kneed him in the groin and punched him so hard in the face I heard my knuckles crack.
Drawing my fist away from him had flicked scalding hot blood onto my face. The blow had vibrated down my arm and I gasped at the pain. I had a tooth imbedded in my hand and I shook it off ignoring it. I was not holding back… this time… I understood that I would die here if I didn’t fight.
My chest tightened and I knew I had a very short time to make an end of this… before I simply stopped breathing from the damage… but I knew I could take more…I knew I could take a few hits and bruises. I focused on shallow quick breaths keeping both of the bastards in my line of sight.
Darrell was doubled over screaming with one hand on his groin and the other covering his mouth. He had dropped to his knees keeping himself somewhat upright while letting out an irritating wailing noise. Blood ran freely down his chin and neck and I did not have any pity in my heart for his pain. Two down, Tavis was still lying on the ground not moving. I wondered if my kick had killed him. And Jacob…
Even in the dark I knew Jacob was dead. Dead bodies have stillness to them…like blinking in a spotlight I couldn’t… didn’t want to look away. I wanted to see a breath… I wanted my friend to be okay…but I already knew he was gone.
*
“Sweet Mother of God” someone said…no…shouted.
I wanted to scream but my throat had shut down a while ago…I couldn’t get any noises out…not even a whimper…not anymore. Someone threw up. I could hear the retching and I knew it was bad. I couldn’t feel anything when they went to work on me.
I looked up into a pair of gray eyes that pooled out tears… from
a formless face. Questions and orders rolled forth in a confounded twisted way. There was someone making a murmuring noises I couldn’t comprehend. Someone was praying while they held my broken bits to my body.
I tore my gaze away and I stared…wide eyed at the corner… where a tiny figure lay. I don’t know how I knew he was there. I didn’t understand how I could see him so clearly when all others were faceless blurs of pain. I hadn’t even given him a name…but I knew every perfect part of him.
I kept his still form in my heart where he stayed….inside a red room with its bleeding walls. Where faceless beings held my insides to me. Where nonsensical noises flowed from a storm cloud that rained tears from above. I looked into gray eyes and pleaded soundlessly…I want to go with my son.
“I will it so” said the rain with a voice like lightning that struck at my heart.
I heard in the voice the command to live. In the last moments of my last breath I was praying that my suffering would be at an end….the storm only prolonged my pain. Again and again the lightning struck until my heart began to beat alone. And I knew I had no choice but to obey… for now. I would have no choice to live for a little longer. The storm had stolen my peace from me... I was ready to go.
*
I didn’t think about where Kelly was. I spent several seconds locked in place staring down at Jacob. I couldn’t seem to make my body move anymore… and I needed to move. A car pulled into the parking lot. Blinding me and reflecting off the pool of blood spreading from Jacob. His throat had been cut…no not cut…savaged.
Multiple gaping mouths stared back at me and his head was twisted in a way that wasn’t natural. He lay face down in his own fluids. I felt like I needed to turn him over… I needed to turn him over so he wouldn’t drown. Why couldn’t I move? I’ve seen this much blood before…so why couldn’t I just…move?
“Merrily!” Isaac shouted jumping from the car. “What happened… are you alright?” he said.
Isaac moved towards me with hands spread showing that they were empty. I don’t know why he was compelled to do such a thing. Isaac would never have harmed me. He glanced around quickly, taking in Tavis on the ground still not moving, Darrell moaning on his knees, and… Jacob.
Isaac’s face shut down when he saw Jacob laying so still and exposed. Fury white hot radiated from him every muscle tensing in stark relief against his skin. His green eyes glowed with a fire that for a second encompassed the lights of the car.
I know that I took a blow to the head at some point and things were fuzzy in a detached way that said I was hurt. I know that I have seen things in my life that never had an explanation. I have lived without explanations…and I was okay with that. I knew… that eyes are not meant to cast shadows in the night.
I took a staggered step backward away from him as he gently approached me. I was trying to sort out what was happening and my teeth started chattering. Why Isaac was here…now? I couldn’t clear my head and painful thoughts rose up to the surface of my mind. Thoughts years past that couldn’t hurt me now.
I shook myself in denial. I refused to be distracted by old pains which were gone and done. I gave Isaac an empty face…I tried to move past the pain in my heart. I seem to have lost all of my friends today.
My eyes were watering and I gulped trying to make them stop. Tears that I … wouldn’t give voice to … roll down my cheeks stinging abrasions I wasn’t aware that I had had. I must be in shock.
“How the fuck….do you know my name?” I rasped.
My throat was so tight I had to work the question around the raw pain I had felt when Isaac said my name. I didn’t use my full name…not ever… it wasn’t even my name anymore I had changed it legally well over ten years ago. Everyone in Noel knew me as Lee…they knew nothing of Merrily and her sad little tale.
I could feel the outrage and energy draining away from me…I needed the anger to keep my edge…my focus. I felt every throbbing sting of my battered body and the feel of hot blood licking its way down my chest. The fight was being taken out of me. My own fears started to seep into my bones. I heard another car door open and close but was unable to see who else was joining this little party. Then it occurred to me that I still hadn’t seen Kelly.
From my back there was a piercing scream of an animal. It was so painfully high pitched I clasped my hands to my ears. It felt like my ears were bursting in my head. The scream disorientated me in its intensity. A strong wind carried the endless swelling cry directly into the core of me.
The sound reverberated in a loop in my head. The gust of wind at my back increased in intensity neatly knocking me forward. I began to give way accepting my face first pitch to the pavement.
Hot blades struck me from behind sinking into the meat of my shoulders. Those daggers in my flesh lifted me. The cry increased in intensity … held me suspended in the air…and I could for the first time…see everything.
Great bronze feathers blocked the head lights from the car wrapping around the length of me. I marveled in shock and awe as my battered face reflected in them. All of the air in my body was being pulled into the vortex of this wind. The blow forced my legs to give and I crumpled onto the ground.
I could feel myself skidding forward upon the pavement until something solid and huge latched itself to my back. I felt as if I was being held by some great heavy hand that compressed my body down…down into the darkness.
*
There was something making a meowing sound. I realized it was me. I’ve made this helpless sound before and I desperately tried to make myself stop. It just kept coming out of me in weak wails… that no person should make. I had promised myself that I would never make these sound again. I had never wanted to take this kind of damage again. I felt as if the last ten years I spent remaking myself had been a waste.
“Get her into the house the doctor is already headed over”
“Why is she making that noise?”
“Do what I tell you to do boy! She’s almost bled herself white.”
“I don’t see what the problem is. We could have just left her to die. She couldn’t even help Jacob. She is weak.”
“You shut your mouth… nothing would have saved Jacob…she did better than you would have done.” This voice choked out the words. “We were supposed to have taken better care of her…we owed her that.”
Voices didn’t make any sense… I felt like someone was shaking me roughly pulling at the skin on my back. My head swum and I couldn’t seem to open my eyes. There was a hot spike inside my chest and as my injuries overwhelmed me, in a spiral of intensifying horror that only reality could bring. I heard Isaac say softly and clear.
“I should have taken better care of you both.”
*
There was a light above my head shining so bright that I couldn’t figure out why my eyes wouldn’t close. I kept feeling a tugging and pulling across my chest but I was deadened to it. The sensation has been going on for a long while. I tried to move… tried to make a coherent noise but something was keeping me down. And I had to get up. I couldn’t remember why I needed to get up.
“Her heartbeat just spiked” a stranger said.
A woman from the sound of her voice she sounded very close to me. That tugging persisted between my breasts it was making it difficult to think. Bisecting me there was just an empty coldness that made me realize how exposed I was. What was going on with my eyes? Why couldn’t I close them? That damn light was making my head explode.
“Merrily you’re safe” Isaac said.
Someone took my hand in theirs. Isaac I hoped faintly…I didn’t want some stranger touching me when I was so exposed…I couldn’t see what was being done. Wasn’t I angry with him for some reason?
“We have the doctor stitching you up… your pretty heavily drugged… I don’t know if you understand what I am saying… it is going to be ok… I am going to take care of you… you are going to be just fine…you’ll have a few more scars to add for your collection…it isn’t as ba
d as what happened to you before… everything is going to be ok… I promise nothing else is ever going to happen to you again… I am so sorry… I am So Sorry” he said.
Isaacs’s words were just running together in sharp snatches and he sounded rough… like he’d been crying. I felt as if he had pulled the rug from beneath my feet and used it to pummel me. Isaac had given me so much information…in such a quick burst…I couldn’t process it all. I realized that I was in shock. I had been wounded in so many ways today…yesterday…ten years ago?
Isaac was the most self-assertive person I had ever known… as solid as stone. It wasn’t just his age and experience that gave him confidence but his very mannerisms. That confidence he carried like a cloak had swept me along rebuilding me in the last few years.
He handled disasters with gusto and passion. Isaac had given me a glimpse into this other person that he was. He appeared to be defeated in a way which I could not understand. It was beginning to occur to me that Isaac had an entire other life that I knew nothing about.
I remembered… just when I was falling deep into the light… that Isaac had called me by my name. My real name not what he had always known me as. How had he known who I was…what did he know about Gideon?
“Do you think she is going to make it?” the woman said as I began to spiral down into unconsciousness…again.
“She has already lived with worse…she’s a survivor.” Isaac said.
*
I know I had faded in and out. I didn’t really come to myself until I heard birds outside my window. They must be clamoring for their breakfast I thought smiling. I tried to roll myself over and realized that I wasn’t in my bed. I wasn’t even in my apartment. The bed felt too big. I knew there was empty space around me before I opened my eyes.
This room just felt alien, new to me, and did not smell of anyplace I recalled. I was not in a hospital which came as a relief. If I had woken in a hospital it would have pushed me over the edge this time. Not being in a hospital simply created more questions. I knew I was hurt… yet I was obviously being cared for.
Merrily In Tragedy: Book One (Merrily We Live 1) Page 7
