Forbidden Queens

by C. R. Jane

  "Eva!" comes a voice, seemingly from inside my head. It stirs me from whatever trance I've found myself in and I take a step back, almost knocking the both of us over with the suddenness of my movements.

  "I'm just going to go freshen up," I tell him shyly, hurrying to my bathroom and closing the door quickly. I lean against the door and take a deep breath. That was…intense. Also, it seems that I'm officially going crazy now considering that I'm continuing to hear voices inside my head. This is an interesting development.

  I take a deep breath to try and shake off the weird feeling I have after that encounter. A part of me is attracted to Aiden, I wanted him to kiss me yesterday. However another part…another part feels like there's something off between us. Like our pieces will never match up. I hurry and wash my face and slip into the tights and accompanying blouse that I managed to wrangle out of Aiden. No way was I going to continue to wear a dress to practice magic. I should really introduce the kingdom to the benefits of Nike.

  Aiden's still in the room when I emerge. He's holding the still full glass that Gwenny puts the sleeping potion in that I forgot to throw out the night before.

  "You didn't drink your potion last night," he says in a voice that is trying to be bland, but misses the mark. I'm not sure why he and Gwenny think it's so important for me to drink it. I'm sleeping fine, I'm recovering my energy just fine, so what is it?

  "I was so tired last night that I didn't need it," I explain while pulling on my boots and studiously ignoring his watchful gaze.

  "Did you sleep alright?" he asks, and for some reason the question feels deeper than that, like he's fishing for something.

  "I slept like a rock," I reply cheerfully. He searches my face for a moment before giving me a false grin in return.

  "That's good. I still would like you to keep drinking it though even on nights when you're tired. It has energizing properties that will work well with your training," he explains casually. I nod at him in agreeance, and he walks out of the room to leave me to finish getting ready. He leaves me with an uneasy feeling though, and despite the fact that Aiden has done nothing to cause me to mistrust him, I decide that I'm not going to be drinking that sleeping potion anymore. Crazy dreams notwithstanding.

  I'm happy to have another few minutes to myself as I pull on my boots and tie my hair into a braid. Aiden is intense, and I feel confused and conflicted every time I'm with him.

  He's waiting in the hallway, talking quietly with the guards he has assigned to me. The talking ceases as I emerge from my bedroom. He flashes me a wide smile as I walk towards the group, and I give a sigh of relief that the awkwardness of the earlier moment seems to be forgotten. I again resolve to try harder with him. I'm sure our relationship took time before and we just need time again for me to discover what was magical about the two of us.

  "Shall we eat breakfast before the surprise?" he asks me, giving a little smirk once again at how excited I get at the word. My returned memories made very clear to me that I haven't had very many good things happen in my life, and Aiden must know that since he can't seem to get rid of that knowing smirk he has every time he uses the word "surprise".

  I eat breakfast fast, scarfing down whatever Gwenny has put on my plate without really tasting it. I normally have more respect for food since I have gone without it so much before, but I just know that whatever Aiden's surprise is, it's going to be good. It at least will be a break from magic practice where I still haven't figured out how to harness that warm feeling that seems to control the strength of my powers. A break from magic training will probably be good for both of us since his frustration at my inability to consistently wield magic has been leading to us fighting. I wonder if we fought a lot during our marriage. Aiden always talks about it so fondly, as if it was a perfect time. But I've gotten the feeling that he didn't know how powerful I was in my past life. Maybe that made things different.

  Regardless I'm excited for the break, even as he leads me to the top of one of the east turrets in the castle, somewhere I hadn't yet explored. When we get there, my eyes about pop out of my head with amazement because there's a huge man waiting for us, although I'm not sure that man is the right word to describe him…more like huge creature. He looks like he's a statue that has come to life. He's the same stone-grey color all over. His most distinguishing feature however, besides the tiny little horns at the top of his head, are the huge bat like wings that extend from his back. They take up almost the entire side of the room he's on.

  Staring at his wings, I can feel my own start to flutter under my skin. I brace myself as they shoot out of my back, causing me to stumble once again from the change in weight. The stone creature snorts once, as if he's laughing at me. Aiden also has a look of mirth on his face. I glare at the both of them.

  "This is Lexington," Aiden says, gesturing to the creature I have decided to call "stone face," since he laughed at me. "He's a gargoyle as you can see."

  I give "Lexington" aka stone face, an appraising stare while he gives me one in return. It's still amazing to me that I live in a world where all the fairy tale creatures that I read about my entire life have turned out to be true. An insane part of me wants to ask him if he knows Quasimodo, but I thankfully control myself. There's no need to let on to this stranger that I'm slowly losing my mind.

  "Lexington is going to be your flight instructor. He obviously has a lot of experience with flying, experience I unfortunately cannot provide you with."

  Because fairies don't have wings I finish for him in my head. That's still a mystery I have to uncover. Lexington gives me a small, stiff bow.

  "It's a pleasure," he tells me in a low, gravelly voice that fits him perfectly. I nod in return.

  Aiden claps his hands suddenly. "Now that I've made introductions I'll leave you two to start. I've got some meetings to attend today. I'll be by later to check on your progress."

  Waving goodbye, I again wonder at what business he's attending to and when I'm going to be included. It feels strange that after a few months here, I still know nothing about the kingdom's affairs, and I haven't been formally introduced back to the people.

  "Are you going to stand there, or are we going to start?" Lexington says, startling me out of my musings.

  "Is that anyway to talk to your Queen?" I ask him snottily, still annoyed at Aiden's behavior.

  "Forgive me, Your Highness," he replies wryly. "Just making sure you're awake. However, enough with the pleasantries. First thing we need to practice is your ability to call your wings and retract them at will. You look like an awkward goose at the moment, and quite frankly it's hard to watch."

  I gape at him. It's actually refreshing though that he's not afraid to give me a hard time. Aiden gives me a hard time and pushes me, but the rest of the people that I have met here, although very small in number, are overly polite no matter how hard I try to get to know them. Even the three guards that Aiden has following me around, have yet to say anything to me but one syllable answers. Looking around I notice that Aiden didn't leave them with me today. He must trust Lexington quite a bit.

  "Alright, how do I not look like an awkward goose?" I ask Lexington, giving him a smile to let him know that I'm not mad at how he's acting.

  Lexington claps his hands, the noise sounding like a small avalanche since he's made completely from stone. He gives me a huge smile, showing rows of even grey teeth. I decide at that moment that old stone face is going to be my new best friend.

  I'm retracting his best friend status after an hour of being tortured by him. He's trying to get me to have control of pulling my wings out, and hiding my wings, but it hasn't been a successful hour.

  "You've got to relax," he admonishes me for the hundredth time, clapping his hands with frustration.

  "You try relaxing when you have one hundred pounds of feathers attached to your back," I reply dramatically. My w
ings actually don't feel that heavy at all, it's just that their presence throws my equilibrium and balance off.

  Lexington rolls his eyes at me. It's a somewhat funny sight because the stone of his eyelid makes a scratching noise every time he does something theatrical with them.

  "Let's start again. Picture the wings as an extension of yourself, which they are. Imagine them being in a compact space in your body, that you're hiding them away."

  I take a deep breath and try to clear my mind. Imagining the wings folding up and slipping inside of my body, I keep the picture in my head until Lexington says something.

  "Well looky there. You finally did it," he responds sarcastically.

  Taking a quick glance backwards, I see that he's right. I give a small squeal of happiness that I finally did it. It only took an hour of trying about a million times…

  "Let's practice that a few hundred times more and then I'll be satisfied you've got it," he tells me, and I give a groan but allow my wings to pop out once again. Getting my wings to come out is the easy part. I'm even managing to stumble only a small bit now although Lexington doesn't seem satisfied with my progress.

  In and out, in and out, my wings go back and forth until my entire back is sore with my efforts and I'm sweating profusely. It's been hours, but now my wings glide smoothly when I call for them. No stumble, no intense concentrating to get them to go back in. It's probably such a small thing, I should be able to control something that is a part of my body. I feel an immense sense of accomplishment though, and the proud look that Lexington has in his eyes feels really good.

  I hear footsteps coming up the stairs and Aiden appears, looking perfectly fresh as usual. Whatever kingdom business it was, it must not have stressed him out too bad. I get the feeling though that not much stresses Aiden out. I get the sense that he's far too dictatorial for anyone to step too far out of line. Again I wonder what our relationship was like. If he tried to control me or if we were partners.

  "Successful day?" Aiden asks, surveying my sweat soaked body.

  Lexington nods. "Show him, Your Majesty," he says.

  I notice that he's much more deferential with Aiden around. I guess he knows who's really the boss around here.

  Turning to Aiden I effortlessly extend and retract my wings several times perfectly. Aiden gets that manic look of happiness he always gets whenever I accomplish something, and I can't help but smile about his happiness. He's a fierce man, but when he gets practically giddy like this he softens up and seems so much more relatable.

  "You'll begin flying lessons tomorrow?" he asks Lexington. Lexington nods in affirmation.

  "Good," says Aiden with a clap.

  The two of them have clapped a lot today.

  "Ready to eat, My Queen?" he asks.

  My stomach gives a growl at that moment and I realize that Lexington and I really have worked all day. Which then leads me to the question of whether gargoyles actually eat. I turn to say goodbye to Lexington but the words choke in my throat as he gives me a dashing wink and then launches out the window where I watch him fly out of sight.

  "You'll be able to do that soon," Aiden says quietly, watching me watch Lexington's flight. It seems impossible that I'll be able to do that, but it also seemed impossible that I would be able to pull my wings out without falling over so obviously Lexington can work miracles.

  "Was it a good surprise?" he asks, his voice almost tentative.

  I give him a tired smile. "A very good one."

  After I stuff myself at dinner, Aiden walks me to my room. There's a steaming mug of the sleeping elixir waiting for me on the nightstand next to my bed. I turn at the door, trying to nonchalantly stop his entry into my room.

  "It's been a long day," I tell him with a yawn.

  Aiden gives a look behind me where the elixir is waiting, and I know he wants to say something to remind me to take it.

  "I'm just going to take my sleeping potion and go right to sleep," I say in hopefully a convincing tone. Aiden perks up at my mention of it.

  "It will refresh you for another hard day of flying lessons," he tells me. He brushes his lips over my cheek, lingering for a second. "Goodnight, My Princess," he whispers before walking away. Just like the other day when he called me "Princess", for some reason it irrationally annoys me.

  I take a quick shower, letting the warm water wash off my annoyance and the sweat of the day. As I get into bed I look over at the elixir, which creepily never stops steaming by the way, and I'm tempted to drink it. Reminding myself how weird everyone is about it I quickly grab it and throw it down the sink in my bathroom. Getting back in bed the exhaustion from the day sinks into me and I know that it's not going to be an issue falling asleep.

  My wings appeared one night when He and I were fighting over a servant boy. He had ordered his head to be cut off for looking at me wrong. My incubus has been seated on the far side of the room and I had been carefully keeping my eyes averted from him. The fact that both women and men are pawing at him is making me want to fire lightning bolts at them, a little trick I discovered I was capable of the other day when a fox frightened me while on a rare walk in the gardens.

  A few months filled with stolen moments when he's snuck into my room have solidified that he is in fact 'my incubus'. I'm gripping my napkin as tight as I can in my lap, but when He flies off the handle about the poor young man who had the misfortune to have to serve me dinner that night, I lose the control I've put so much effort into holding onto. I stand up and scream at Him, slapping Him across the face. I'm so overcome with anger that I don't even realize when they first burst out of my skin. My whole skin feels like it's on fire with how much emotion I'm feeling anyway that it's hard to differentiate the tearing in my back from the overall feeling I have that my skin is going to burst into flames.

  The fact that the whole banquet hall full of fairies are currently in uproar is the first sign I have that something is amiss. Rolling heads barely garner a look in this castle, but wings...wings are apparently cause for attention. My husband's awe-filled face is the next clue I have. It snaps me out of the haze of rage I've been caught up in, and I look around to see what has caused it. Much to my surprise a pair of beautiful, feathered, ebony black wings are fluttering behind me. I don't even know what to think. I may not know a lot right now, but I do know that my people do not have wings.

  He circles me, like a predator stalking his prey.

  "Now isn't this a surprise," He murmurs, his index finger softly stroking one of my feathers.

  My feathers flutter faster, almost like they are in distress, and a shiver goes down my spine. Out of the corner of my eye, I see my incubus take a step towards me and I send up a silent prayer that he will control himself. I give a small sigh of relief when he sits back down, but I still remain on high alert, because He is still breathing down my neck.

  "Just when I think you can't get any more magnificent," He whispers in my ear. "There's always something about you that's hiding from view isn't there."

  I give Him a glare and put all of my effort into snapping my wings into place, holding on to the front of my dress as I do so since my dress is quite literally holding onto me by nothing but a few threads. After I feel my wings retract, I summon all the dignity I can and walk out of the banquet hall, carefully stepping over the separated head rolling around on the floor, what feels like a million eyes on my back as I do so.

  I use magic to bolt the door behind me once I get to my room, hoping that He will think a guard did it for Him. I collapse into my bed with a sob, the stress of the night's events too much for me at the moment. I've been practicing my magic so much every chance I can get, but without an instructor it's been a slow process and I'm not strong enough to be able to fight Him. I'll only get one chance to confront Him and defeat Him. I know He woul
d find a way to lock me up forever and kill my magic somehow if I fought Him too early and lost. Despite His promise that He would stop the curse He inflicted on the land, the fact that the line of black in the horizon continues to press forward lets me know that His curse got out of hand.

  I tell myself positive reaffirmations in an attempt to put myself back together. I just have to continue to get as strong as possible so I can save Fairie. Lexi will appear any day now with some spell she has found in one of the millions of books in my old palace's library. Beckham will still be waiting for me after this is over. My incubus…my trail of thinking dissolves when I feel the arms of the creature I had just been thinking about wrap around me. Somehow this only makes me cry harder. Thinking of the risk he has taken with so many people around, to sneak out of the banquet hall and climb up to my room to comfort me. He shouldn't be risking his life for me. Images of his head also rolling on the ground drift through my mind.

  The sarcastic wall that was firmly wrapped around him when I first met him has slowly chipped away piece by piece as we've spent time together. We haven't gone any further than frantic kisses and tender touches, but he must have felt something genuine in my emotions for him because his sarcasm has faded. What's left behind his walls is a complicated, fragile creature that captures a piece of my heart more and more every day. I had thought that Beckham possessed all of it, but instead of taking pieces of my heart away from Beckham, my heart has grown, and my incubus has come to live firmly in those new, unexplored places.

  When I finally get control of my tears so that they aren't pouring down my face, I pull away from where I've drenched his neck, still sniffling some.