by Hope Ford
What if Ray gets lost and doesn’t come back? What if he just doesn’t come back because he doesn’t want to have to take care of me?
A loud roar echoes through the cave, followed by another from a different animal. I get the torch ready to scare anything that comes through the curtain of snow with the fire.
It sounds like the two animals are fighting when suddenly the noises stop.
I wait and wait, my knuckles white from gripping the log. I figure one animal killed the other or maybe killed the other and was wounded with a fatal blow that had the victor falling dead too. All the scenarios are going through my head and all I can think is, this would be a good opportunity to bring in some food. I can prove to Ray that I’m useful too.
Taking the torch in my hand, I hobble out of the cave into the blizzard. I can’t see very far, but I’m confident I can follow my own footsteps back to the cave.
Once I’ve hobbled several hundred feet, I see the shadowy outline of a huge bear and terror has me frozen in place.
The bear is moving, coming in my direction.
Run!
I know that’s what I need to do, but I’m too scared.
It’s close enough now I can see it better, but it’s so strange because it looks like a polar bear. It’s probably just the snow clinging to its fur, making it look white.
I’d just settled in on that reasoning when the bear stands up on its hind legs and makes a loud groaning noise. The ground seems to shake under my feet as I hear bones snapping. The bear is shrinking. I think it might be falling into a pit or something, but then the fur falls away like it’s being washed off and the naked skin beneath looks pink. The snout of the bear shrinks to that of the size of a human jaw, mouth open.
Long, wet, brown hair hangs in ropes around a human face.
Ray’s face.
I yelp and fall back in the snow.
Ray
I hear her and see her fall. I can’t believe she followed me out into the blizzard. I put my clothes back on and clean the blood from my face and hands of the mountain lion that’d been stalking us outside of the cave, no doubt waiting on us to separate.
Keri saw me. She knows I’m a shifter. The thought keeps going through my head over and over. The law is simple and firm. Humans who see a shifter shift are strict. There can be no witnesses. If Keri was anyone else, she would be dead right now at my hands. But that’s not even an option.
When I’m sure I’m clean, I go to her and even after everything she saw, she doesn’t pull from me or even look scared.
Her eyes are filled with wonder. “Ray? What was that? How did you…”
I shake my head, acting clueless. “What are you talking about?”
“You were a bear! A big bear!” she says and then flinches at her own words. “I’m sure that’s what I saw,” she says softly and with less confidence.
I help her up and hold her to my side as we walk back to the cave. She looks so confused, the lie comes easily out of my mouth. “You look like you’re about to faint. Are you hallucinating, Keri? The fatigue and hunger is getting to you. Let’s get you back into the cave.”
Luckily, she is ready to accept the lie and allows me to get her back into the cave. “Why did you leave?”
She sits down on rock, her head in her hand. “I heard animals fighting. Did you see them?”
Another lie—I shake my head.
“When the fighting stopped, I thought I could get food… I guess I wasn’t thinking right… I don’t know,” she says, bewilderment etched on her face.
“Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re exhausted. You’re tired. You’re hungry. But I don’t want you to worry about food. I will get us food.”
She shrugs her shoulders. “I’m sorry for being such a bother. I just wanted to help.”
I look at her in awe. She’s injured, starving, and probably in some kind of shock, but she still wants to help. Seeing that she needs a job, I show her how to pile snow into a small pot she brought with her and heat it over the fire. “Boil it to kill anything in the water that might make us sick.”
She nods her head and goes about filling the pot with snow, but when she sits down next to the fire, holding the pot, I can still see the fear in her face and the question of did she see what she thought she saw.
I set the canteens down in front of her and leave her to get to work, more worried about getting her food now than ever.
I go back to retrieve my kill and find that another animal has already dragged it away. I’m forced to keep hunting and to gather more wood to burn.
When I return, Keri has filled three canteens with clean water and is boiling more. She’s taken off her jacket to dry by the fire. And her tight thermal shirt shows off exactly how curvy she really is.
She has a rosy look to her face, and I try to figure out what’s different with her. “You look like you’re feeling better. You have more color to your face.”
She turns pink in the cheeks. “The warm water was so tempting. I cleaned myself up a little and already feel like a new woman.”
I’ve always thought she was beautiful, but even more so now. With the dirt smudges gone from her face, I see her freckles, and her smile is bright as she looks up at me. “You brought dinner?”
My first thought is if this is what it’d be like if we went out on a date for dinner. Would she smile at me like she is right now, looking at me like I’m about to serve her a fancy dinner instead of a fox I was able to find along with some more firewood?
I set the fox down and start stoking the fire. “Yep. It’s only a fox, but it’s food, right?”
She caps another canteen. “It seems like all I do is thank you, but I have to say it again.”
I shake my head. “You don’t have to thank me. You don’t owe me anything, Keri.”
She puts her hand out and wraps it around my forearm. “Yes, I do. You keep saving me, Ray. I know you didn’t ask for any of this and I also know you could have easily just have left me here—"
The thought of leaving her has blood raging through my veins. “No, I couldn’t. I never would leave you out here, so stop thinking that way. We’re getting out. You’ll get on with your life, and so will I.”
She picks up the fox and holds her hand out to me. “What?” I ask her.
“Your knife? Can I borrow it?”
I try not to smirk, thinking there’s no way she knows how to skin a fox, but I hand her the knife anyway. She opens it with expertise and starts skinning the fox. Without a grimace or even a look of disgust, she goes to work, and I can’t take my eyes off her. She keeps surprising me. Everything she does makes me like her more. Aside from being beautiful, she is quick and eager to learn and help out.
“So tell me about your life,” she asks as she works.
I add wood to the fire and stoke it. “There’s not much to tell. I belong to the New Law.”
She stops what she’s doing and looks up at me. “The motorcycle gang?”
“It’s a club. More like a family than anything.”
She averts her eyes and concentrates on what she’s doing. “So do you have family? A wife… or girlfriend?”
“If I had either, I wouldn’t have held you in my arms last night, honey.”
Again with the endearment. I have no idea where it’s coming from. She’s making me soft. I throw another log on the fire too hard, and sparks shoot up, but I don’t care. She has me wanting things I shouldn’t want. I can’t want.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask her, but I’m pretty sure I already know the answer. There’s no way she has a man if she’s traipsing through the woods alone. Fuck, if she was mine, I wouldn’t want her out of my sight.
I help her finish cleaning the fox and cook it. We talk, and she has me laughing at her stories of work.
When I can’t bite my tongue any longer, I have to know. “What about you? What about your family?”
She shrugs and stares off over my shoulder. “I don’t have one. I
only moved here a few months ago, and besides my roommate, I don’t have a lot of friends either.”
Fuck! I can see the sadness on her face, and I want to erase it. I don’t ever want her to feel alone again.
She seems to shake her head and snap herself out of her trance. She stands up and hobbles past me, her hand skimming my shoulder. “Your jacket is soaked, Ray. Why don’t you let it dry by the fire? There’s no way it’s going to keep you warm like that.”
She points to where her jacket is drying, and I know she’s right.
“I’ll be fine,” I start, but she stops me.
“You can share my blanket with me.”
I know I should explain I’m warm enough, my bear never lets me get cold, but I want to be closer to her, and I don’t have the strength to resist her.
I pull off my jacket, and as I do, she sits down and stares at me, not taking her eyes off me.
7
Keri
Ray has to be the most beautiful, if not the most overprotective man I’ve ever known. I’m still so confused by everything that happened earlier, but staying busy has kept my mind off it. What I thought I saw was so real, but the realistic side of me knows it wasn’t.
Ray sits down next to me, and already I feel warmer, hot from the inside out. I lie down, watching him as he sits next to me.
“How are you so hot?” I ask him out loud before I realize my blunder.
“You think I’m hot?” he asks with a smirk.
I just roll my eyes. “You know you’re hot. But I mean, just you sitting down next to me, I can feel the heat coming off of you. I don’t know how to explain it. I’ve never felt anything like it in my life.”
He lies down on his back, his hands behind his head, and looks up at the ceiling of the cave. I move over and rest my head on his bended elbow. I don’t even expect him to answer me; I’m getting used to his quiet ways.
But when I can’t stand it any longer, I roll toward him until our faces are so close I can feel his breath on my cheek. I know this can make things awkward, but I have to do it. I don’t have anything to lose at this point. “I like you, Ray.”
His eyes soften as they stare back at me, his face aglow from the light of the fire. “Nothing can come of this, Keri. No matter how badly I want you. No matter how much I don’t want to let you go when we get off this mountain, you and I can never be together.”
I want to argue with him. I want to scream. I want to ask him why. But I don’t. I’ve learned not to expect a lot. I’ve learned that I’ll probably always be on my own. But that doesn’t stop me from going for it anyway.
I take a deep breath, and my voice is so small, I’m surprised he can even hear me. “What about tonight? Can you give me tonight?”
He rolls toward me, and his arm goes around me to rest on my back. I can feel the heat from his hand imprint on my back, and it sends a warmth all through me.
He looks like he might tell me no, and I prepare myself for it. I can’t remember wanting anything as much as I want Ray. I’d give anything to call him mine. But if that’s not possible, I will take what he’s willing to give me.
“I can only give you tonight, Keri.” His hand slides around to my front, squeezing my breast in his hand before it slides down my belly and between my thighs, cupping my mound. “No matter how much I want you, I can only give you tonight.”
I close my eyes as if I’m trying to hide the hurt from my face. When I open them he’s staring at me with a mixture of desire and what I can only guess is pity. “I know I should say no. I know you’re going to think I’m easy, but I don’t care. If I can be with you, in your arms one night, I’ll take it.” A little bit of shame fills me. I should be stronger, but all I’ve thought about all day is being held by him again like last night. I want more from him. I want whatever he’s willing to give.
His hand comes up to cup my cheek, and he stares into my eyes for the longest time. His normally light blue eyes are darker now and filled with desire. There’s no doubt he wants me, or maybe it’s the circumstances, but whatever it is, I can feel his length pressed against me, and it causes a low burn in my belly.
“I would never think anything bad of you. You’re an amazing woman, Keri. Way too good for the likes of me. And I know I should leave you be, go to the other side of the cave and walk away. But I can’t.”
“I’m not too good—"
He stops me with a touch of his finger to my lips. “Yes, you are. You don’t know me, the real me.”
I can’t even hide the frustration. “Well, tell me. Tell me about you.”
“I’m not what – who – you think I am. I can’t really tell you except to say anything more between us is out of the question.” There’s a sadness in his eyes that makes me want to wrap my arms around him and hold him, so I do exactly that. I snuggle close to him, my head resting under his chin, and I can feel the fast beat of his heart under my cheek. I don’t know how long I stay like that before I can feel a change happen.
His hands are strumming up and down my back, almost soothing me from the inside out. I lift my head and put my lips to his chin before raising a little bit and moving across his cheek and finally to his lips.
The kiss from last night is nothing compared to now. He devours me, taking my breath as his lips and tongue punish my mouth. I’m living in the moment, wanting to remember it all and hoping it never ends.
His hands are everywhere, leaving a burning path with every touch. When he breaks away from me suddenly, my eyes snap to his. His long hair is hiding his face from me, so I push it away, wanting to see him and what he’s thinking.
I can see the doubt in his eyes, but I don’t question it. It’s obvious he wants this as much as I do, and the only reason he’s stopping is because of some crazy thought that he’s protecting me. From what, I don’t know and don’t care. I tug at his shirt, and luckily he raises up so I can take it off. Running my hands across him, I start to pepper kisses along his hard chest and feel his muscles throb underneath my lips.
His hands clench into the dirt of the cave below him as his back arches and his body shifts. I make quick work of taking my pants and underwear off before climbing over top of him. Straddling him, I start to take my shirt off, but he stops me. “You’ll be cold.”
I look out the base of the cave and see the winter wonderland outside. I should be cold; I should be freezing right now. But I’m sitting astride my own personal furnace and don’t feel the least bit of cold, and I tell him so.
As soon as my shirt and bra are off, his hands are cupping and molding my breasts. He plucks my nipples and I arch into his hand, my eyes closed and my head thrown back. The guttural growl that leaves his chest and echoes around us is loud and animalistic.
I reach for his pants and undo them quickly, pushing them down just far enough to take his erect manhood from his pants. I grip my hand around him as far as I can before stroking him up and down. His eyes never leave mine, and I can feel his cock throbbing in my hand.
I’m ready for him because I’ve wanted this since the moment I laid eyes on him. I lift myself up and slide slowly down his length. His hands grip on to my hips almost painfully, but I don’t stop until I’m completely impaled on him. His body jerks underneath of me like he’s in an inner battle, as if he’s fighting with himself on what he needs to do. I don’t let him stop; that’s not an option.
I start to move. Even with the death grip he has on my hips, I move against him, up and down, feeling full with every thrust, every push and every pull. I ride him like I can’t get enough, and the sounds he’s making get lost with my own.
I know I’m close. The heat, the friction, the way he’s making me feel is too much, and I tighten my core to try and hold on a little longer.
Ray
She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen in my life. She’s riding me, taking me in like she’d die without it, and I want to enjoy it, but my bear is fighting me, wanting her. When her pussy tightens on my hard cock,
I lose all control. I flip her to her back and buck into her, taking her over the edge. She’s pulsing around me, her cunt hot and wet begging for my release, and I would do anything to be able to release myself inside her. But I can’t. I know I can’t. If I did it would change her life forever. A selfish part of me wants to do just that. I want to bury my seed deep inside her, change her into what I am, a bear shifter, and then claim her forever. The need to do just that is so overpowering I almost lose my head and do it. But one look into her trusting eyes, I know I can’t. So I pull out, coming all over her belly, my release shooting out of me as a growl escapes me.
I know I’ve let my bear down. He’s sure that we have found our mate, and I don’t know how he’s gotten so confused. I’ve never known a bear shifter to mate with a human, but my bear is so obviously devastated and sad right now, I can feel my heart tearing in two—for him and for me.
I clean her up the best I can. “You need to put some clothes on so you don’t freeze.”
She just shrugs her shoulders, smiling at me, unaware of the inner things that are going on with me. “You can keep me warm.”
And I could. No doubt I could. But feeling her next to me all night, knowing she’s naked, well, I don’t trust me or my bear. “I may have to get up and go out or something. It’s better to stay warm.”
She does as I ask, and I watch as she covers up her glowing, curvy body. She seems to be aware of my changed attitude and lies back and closes her eyes. I stay busy, straightening up, packing up some things, and stoking the fire and wait until she finally drifts asleep before I lie down next to her. I know I should sleep, but I can’t. I lie the whole night, watching Keri, wishing that things could be different.
8
Ray
It’s finally stopped snowing by the next morning, and from the look of the sky, the break might not last long. I pack up what we’ll need and leave the rest in the cave.
