Redux

by S. A. Stephenson

  ‘We need to adjourn,’ Lawson said.

  The room turned white. Kit slipped into the world she didn’t know. As her eyes adjusted and she saw them. Black wisps of dark energy swirled around her and her blood prickled and boiled.

  ‘Who are you?’ Pain was etched across her voice. ‘Why are you doing this to me?’

  ‘We’re you, we’re them, we’re the ones you never want to meet,’ the voice was cold, inhuman and it was like it was wrapping itself around her brain.

  ‘What do you want with me?’ Kit asked.

  ‘For you to become a weapon,’ the voice said and the room went dark.

  When Kit woke she was on a bed in a dark room. Moonlight drifted in through the open window and Kit saw Evie sat next to her bed asleep. She lay in the darkness for a moment, trying to catch her breath. The image of what happened imprinted on her brain. The dark wisps of energy had flowed through her and the cold clung to her blood. It was changing her, warping her in a way she couldn’t comprehend. Her breath became caught in her throat and her eyes started watering. She gripped the side of the bed as her heart pounded. Closing her eyes she tried to steady herself, she wasn’t ready to lose herself to whatever was happening to her.

  ‘Kit?’ She heard Evie ask next to her. She kept her eyes closed but could feel tears trickled down her face. ‘Kit, come back to me,’ Evie said and Evie’s delicate fingers wrapped around hers.

  Slowly, Kit opened her eyes and blinked away the tears to see Evie looking at her concerned. ‘I’m okay,’ she said, her throat dry and croaking.

  Evie got her a glass of cold water and helped her sit up. ‘What happened?’ She asked. ‘Was it the same as what happened on the plane?’

  ‘I don’t know,’ Kit whispered as she took a sip from the glass. ‘I can’t explain what’s happening, but it’s something to do with the Others,’ she told her, her voice barely audible.

  Evie’s eyes widened and Kit watched as she went to the door and checked to make sure it was locked. ‘There are too many ears in this place,’ she said as she came back to the bed. ‘People are curious enough without knowing that we’re talking about the Others.’

  ‘I think they’re planning something,’ Kit said. ‘I’ve been getting visions from them, they’re trying to tell me something but it doesn’t make sense.’

  Kit watched as Evie tried to digest the news. ‘What are they trying to tell you?’ She asked.

  ‘I think they’re preparing an attack,’ Kit said. ‘But the messages are vague and I don’t know what they mean, or why they’re doing this to me.’

  They were quiet for a moment, both trying to process what was going on. ‘I think there’s only one person who can give you answers,’ Evie said, Kit noted a hint of caution as she spoke. ‘Hawk.’

  Kit looked at her, she must be mad thinking that woman could help her, but Evie looked sincere and Kit relented. ‘I was hoping to avoid that completely,’ she said.

  ‘I know, and I haven’t brought it up because I know it’s a complete mind trip,’ Evie said. ‘But the woman has claimed to be your mother. If she knows something about you that you don’t, a reason why the Others would be contacting you, wouldn’t you want to know?’

  It was hard, Kit didn’t want to have anything to do with Hawk, let alone admit that the woman could be her parent. She had her parents in Volt, Erin and Edward, they were the ones who raised her in there, they were the ones who protected her…died for her. ‘Hawk’s lying,’ Kit said. ‘She’s not my mother, she can’t be.’

  ‘Then why would she say she was?’ Evie asked. ‘You know her hatred towards us, why would she want that type of relationship with you if it weren’t true.’

  ‘There isn’t going to be a relationship,’ Kit snapped.

  ‘I know, and so does she, but if you’re getting visions then there has to be a reason for it, they would have known they could contact you,’ Evie said.

  ‘Or they didn’t and it was just luck that they ended up with me,’ Kit said dryly and Evie gave her a sceptical look. Kit sighed. ‘Okay, say you’re right. How do I even have that conversation? Do I find Hawk, sit her down and go ‘hey mom, tell me about the time you made me in a lab and what you were trying to cook,’.’

  ‘It’s one way,’ Evie was being flippant. ‘But I don’t think you should rule out getting answers.’

  ‘But they want you to kill her,’ Kit said. ‘They’re not going to let us have cosy chats beforehand.’

  Evie went quiet again, Kit wished she knew how her brain worked. What went through it and how she could think like her. ‘Then we need to separate,’ Evie said finally. ‘You go back to America and do what you need to and I’ll stay here like they want.’

  ‘You want us to split up?’ Kit asked, her brain jumping to action before thinking. She had to stop doing that.

  ‘No!’ Evie exclaimed. ‘Just, if you want answers then you need to go and get them. I can’t hold you back.’

  ‘But you need me here,’ Kit said.

  Evie gave her a small smile. ‘I think I need to figure this one out on my own,’ she said. ‘I’ve been so lost since leaving New York that I don’t know who I am in this world or what I’m meant to be doing. If I should be fighting on the front, being back up or not in it at all. But what I do know is I want to find answers. I want to find why we’ve been created, what the truth of our origins is and expose the lies, and the conspiracies. Force can get us so far, but if we can’t change people’s beliefs then we’ll never see true progress.’

  ‘You’re the brains and I’m the brawn,’ Kit said with a weak smile.

  ‘And who knows, together we might be able to make some change,’ Evie said.

  They were interrupted by a knock on the door and when Evie went to open it Kit smiled when she saw Evans come to her room.

  ‘Hey kid,’ he said as he went to her and gave her a hug. ‘Been a rough few hours hasn’t it?’

  ‘Could say that,’ Kit said and brought him up to speed on what she had been talking to Evie about.

  ‘Jeez, that’s a lot to take in,’ Evans said. ‘Are you sure you’re happy to be separated?’ He asked.

  Kit looked to Evie and took her hand, she had only just started to work out how she was feeling, and the idea of letting her into her heart was becoming something she wanted to welcome more and more.

  ‘We’ll make it work,’ Kit said. ‘Besides, we need to think of life beyond this war and that’s when we’ll get to enjoy what this is.’

  ‘I don’t know what you’ve done to her but that’s the first time I’ve ever heard this one talk of a life beyond the revolution,’ Evans said to Evie.

  ‘Well, if you don’t have hope, you don’t have anything,’ Evie said.

  ‘Spoken like a true leader,’ Evans said, and Kit was happy he could see Evie as one of them.

  ‘What’s happening with Cerkis?’ She grimaced as she tried to sit up.

  ‘She’s standing by what she said in there, not out of malice, but out of trying not to make a bad situation worse,’ Evans said, wary of trying to keep the peace.

  Kit didn’t say anything, to her loyalty meant everything and she couldn’t trust Cerkis after what had happened in the room, not just yet. ‘What’s happening now?’ She asked.

  ‘Well aside from the concern for your health, they’re keen to get moving,’ Evans told her. ‘Which means we’re leaving on a plane back to the States tomorrow morning.’

  Kit was surprised, she had wanted to stay in London longer, learn more of how the country was different, but they were needed back home and she couldn’t turn away from her responsibilities.

  ‘Do I have to stay here?’ She gestured at the bed with a disdainful look.

  Evans shook his head. ‘They’ve got a room available for you both,’ he said as he went back to the door. ‘I suggest you use it well.’

  Kit saw Evie turn red and she hid a chuckle. ‘We will,’ she said and smiled when she saw Fitz pass Evans.

  ‘See
you in the morning,’ Evans said and gave Fitz a courteous nod.

  ‘You’ve got to stop turning up here miss,’ Fitz said as she half walked, half hopped over to them with an excited look on her face. ‘You must be the fabulous Evelyn,’ she said and held out her hand which she took. ‘I’m Fitz, nurse assistant extraordinaire, now, the powers that be have given you a lovely little closet for a room tonight, but Arlo heard of what happened and has offered his apartment while he’s away on business for the night.’

  ‘He didn’t have to do that,’ Kit said.

  ‘He wanted to,’ Fitz assured her. ‘He’s going to try and see you tomorrow before you leave.’

  As Fitz went to get a wheelchair, Kit was humbled by the thought that people were ready to support them in a foreign country. She only hoped that it could help when it came to facing off with Hawk. She wasn’t sure how she was going to face her but knew that she would meet the day with as much strength as she could.

  Chapter Nine

  Fitz had shown them up to Arlo’s apartment and had happily shown Evie all the features. Evie looked at the grandeur in awe, the plush fabric seating, the fine cut marble worktops and everything was tidy and in its place. The apartment made Evie think of the elite sectors of Volt and she could feel her skin being to prickle at the memory.

  ‘You okay?’ Kit looped her arm around Evie’s.

  ‘Doesn’t this remind you of Volt?’ Evie spoke as quietly as she could, she didn’t want to risk causing Fitz or Arlo any offence.

  She saw Kit’s expression become more downcast. ‘It does,’ she admitted. ‘I only ever heard about what it was like, but to think people live like this back there, while the rest of us…’ She trailed off but Evie knew what she was thinking. She was thinking of the quarters where they had grown up, the cells that had been used to keep their kind captive. They weren’t meant for places like this.

  ‘I’ve got a shift to do at the hospital,’ Fitz said coming over to them. ‘Arlo’s out at some party all night so you’ll have this place to yourselves.’

  ‘Are you sure?’ Evie was certain a guard or someone would turn up and order them to leave but Fitz simply smiled at her.

  ‘Of course,’ she said. ‘Now enjoy, there’s food in the fridge and if there’s nothing you like the doorman can arrange to have something delivered.’

  Evie looked at Kit in amazement, a night in complete luxury seemed too much for them, but she told herself it was only for a night and they were allowed one night off. Surely.

  Fitz grabbed her things and headed out leaving them both alone in the large living room. Evie had worry tugging at her again, she didn’t know what to do here, and America became a land that suddenly was so far away. Kit came over to her and rubbed her arms and Evie’s heart loosened a little.

  ‘I’m worried about Jack,’ she said. ‘I can’t stop thinking that something bad’s happened to him.’

  ‘He’s a trained soldier,’ Kit said. ‘He’ll be able to stand whatever’s thrown at him and when we’re back in America we’ll try and track him and Canaan down.’

  ‘When you go back to America,’ Evie reminded her with a sad smile.

  ‘Are you sure you’re going to be okay here?’ Kit asked.

  ‘I think so,’ Evie said. ‘It’ll be interesting to see how they do things here, and if taking out Hawk helps then I’m not going to run away.’ Kit nodded and averted her eyes, Evie silently cursed herself for being so thoughtless. ‘You’ve not spoken about it,’ Evie noted and Kit looked back at her. ‘Hawk, claiming she’s your mother. Kinda intense now we have to do what…we have to do.’

  ‘I don’t care,’ Kit snapped and then looked apologetic when Evie had stepped back from her. ‘She’s not my mother, whatever she may say,’ she said softer.

  ‘But don’t you want to hear what she has to say, or find out why she’s saying it?’ Evie asked.

  Kit gave her a tired smile and wrapped her arms around her waist. ‘Tonight, no,’ she said. ‘Especially since I’m not going to see you for a while.’

  Evie smiled as Kit kissed her and took her hand as she led her to the bedroom.

  Evie lay in the bed watching the clouds float through the last part of the night, the sky was turning from dark hues to light violets and blues. Kit was laying on her stomach, sleeping lightly. Evie looked down at her and ran her fingers through Kit’s hair, hoping to find a moment of calm that she needed. It was as though there was a vice around her chest and it was only getting tighter, making her breath catch in her throat. She slipped out from the bed, careful not to wake Kit and quietly pulled on her clothes. She went out to the living room and over to the desk where she borrowed a piece of paper and stared at it as she tried to think of the words. There weren’t any that could adequately sum up what she wanted to say, what she had been wanting to say for so long. She didn’t know it could feel like this, she had been torn apart by grief after Lux had died but that was different, that was grief, this was like it was something new. Familiar, but wholly new.

  Evie ended up writing a quick note, it was nowhere near what she wanted to say but it was something. She grabbed her bag and was heading for the door when she heard Kit behind her.

  ‘You’re just going to leave?’ She asked.

  Evie took a moment, her heart feeling like the vice was crushing it, trying to squeeze it to nothing. Tears escaped the corners of her eyes and she turned around. She saw Kit wrapped in a sheet, it was the first time she had seen her look vulnerable. Her soft naked body was wrapped among the sheets, her tanned skin contrasted against the brilliant white of the fabric, her long brown hair fluttered over her back, draped over scars Evie knew would never heal. The scars from operations, the marks from injections, the cuts from just trying to survive. Kit’s body sung of what Volt was capable of, they had created her, brewed her skill and her beauty in a lab but to Evie, she was more human than she knew. The emotion that swelled inside her told her as much; if they weren’t human, she wouldn’t feel love, she wouldn’t feel pain, she wouldn’t feel like this moment was ripping her in two. That was humanity, that’s what it meant to be human. To feel everything and somehow still live and thrive as best as their situation would let them. But this situation was going to do anything but let them thrive as two young lovers should, this moment was going to try and tear them apart and test every fibre of their resolve. Evie had to believe they would find a way back to each other, a way where the future could be theirs, but right now, she knew that there was more at stake. There was more that they had to do and as tough as Kit was, she wasn’t going to be the one to let Evie go.

  ‘Not through choice,’ Evie said but felt like they weren’t the right words. ‘That’s not what I mean,’ she said. ‘As I lay there next to you, knowing I’m not going to see you for who knows how long, it just made it all real. And now I have to watch you leave, go back home and didn’t know if I could do that because it would hurt too much. Being here without you would hurt too much, but it’s the card we’ve been dealt and… the one we have no choice but to live with.’ Evie took a breath and tried to hold back her tears. ‘They don’t teach you how to deal with this type of stuff in Volt,’ Evie said with a forced laugh. ‘You grow up in a world where the things that matter are left by the wayside because they’re inconvenient. Who would want a nation that’s built on love, tolerance, democracy when you can have one fuelled by hate and fear. The leaders sit back and watch the drama unfold like it was on an arena while the rest of us…we deal with the fallout, having to say goodbye to people we love to fight in a war that shouldn’t be ours. But it is ours, it’s all of ours and we have to do our part and if that means sacrifice then that’s what we have to do.’ Evie knew she was rambling but it all came pouring out of her before she could stop it. Kit came over to her, she didn’t look angry anymore, but there was a look of familiar hurt in her eyes as she took Evie’s hand. Evie’s voice became trapped in her throat. ‘Last time you did that, that happened,’ she said nodding to the bedroo
m.

  ‘You said we have to say goodbye to the ’people we love’,’ Kit said.

  Evie’s heart fluttered and she could feel her face growing red. ‘I did, didn’t I?’ She asked. ‘I didn’t want to leave without saying anything to you, but I panicked because last time I loved someone they were killed and it was more pain than I could bear.’

  ‘It doesn’t mean it’ll happen again,’ Kit said.

  ‘We don’t know that,’ Evie argued. ‘This is going to get real nasty real soon and they want both of us dead, the likelihood of us both surviving…’

  Suddenly Kit was kissing her. It was deep, urgent, as though it would never happen again. Evie didn’t want to pull away but their time was running out, she let their lips part and lowered her head. When she met Kit’s eyes she saw she was crying. Through everything they had been through, the friends they had lost, the trauma they had witnessed, Evie had never seen her cry. ‘I’ll come back to you,’ she whispered. ‘Whatever happens, wherever we end up, I’ll come back to you.’

  ‘As will I,’ Kit said, her voice low, etched in pain. ‘Because my heart has found a home in yours and I don’t want to live the rest of my life without you there.’

  They were interrupted when the elevator pinged behind them and Evie cursed under her breath as she quickly wiped away her tears. Fitz came through the door and stopped when she saw them. ‘Sorry,’ she said, her chipper demeanour suddenly falling away. ‘They’re waiting for you.’

  Evie turned back to Kit. ‘Time’s up,’ she whispered.

  She saw Kit try and catch her breath. ‘I’ll get dressed,’ she said.

  Evie was numb as she waited for Kit. Like the world had slowed down but was escaping from her like grains of sand falling through her fingertips. She wished her life were different, that it was normal, that they didn’t have to live with this uncertainty, this threat of death. That would always exist if Hawk was alive and they were living under the threat of the Others. They had to bring an end to the war so they didn’t have to keep living like this, so that other families didn’t have to keep living like this. By the time Kit came out of the bedroom Evie had managed to pull herself together. She was ready to do what she needed to do, ready to fight who she needed to fight and was prepared to go up against their biggest enemy. Evie took Kit’s hand and Kit gave it a squeeze.