Triumph of the Shipyard Girls

by Nancy Revell

  Dr Eris had to suppress her excitement. She had been trying to work out how to get John out for a drink on his own for a while now.

  ‘That’s a date then,’ Dr Parker said. He was about to correct himself – explain that he didn’t mean this was a date as such – but stopped himself. Would it be so bad if it was?

  ‘See you there at eight then?’ Dr Eris started to walk away. ‘I look forward to it.’

  Gloria pushed herself out of her chair and went over to Helen and gave her a big hug. ‘This is awful, really awful. I’m so sorry.’

  Helen allowed herself to be hugged; it still felt a little alien to her, but she was slowly getting used to it.

  ‘It’s poor Bel and Pearl I feel sorry for,’ she said. ‘I know Pearl’s not the most likeable person, but I felt so sad for her. Her face when she told me …’ Helen shivered. ‘It was like a part of her was dead.’

  Gloria picked up the pot of tea, which was now cold, and went into the kitchenette to put the kettle on.

  ‘Pearl’s got good people around her.’ She walked back to the kitchen doorway and looked at Helen. ‘Her life’s probably better than it’s ever been. She adores Bel. And Maisie. She’s got a good home. Secure, with people who care. She’ll never go cold or hungry. And she’s got a job that suits her down to the ground. She can keep herself topped up with Scotch most of the day and get paid for it.’

  Helen grimaced. ‘I know. She likes her whisky, doesn’t she? She was knocking them back when I was there.’

  ‘I think that’s always been Pearl’s way of coping,’ Gloria said, turning back and filling the pot with boiling water. ‘Probably always will be.’

  She walked back into the lounge with the tea.

  ‘It’s you I worry about,’ she said, looking at Helen. ‘This is a lot for you to take on board.’

  Helen poured tea into their cups, added milk and stirred.

  ‘It must be …’ Gloria thought for a moment. ‘It must be very disturbing for yer to know this about yer grandfather. Someone you’ve known ’n loved all of yer life.’

  Helen took a sip of her tea. It felt warm and comforting. As it did being here with Gloria.

  ‘To be honest, it’s not really sunk in,’ she said. ‘When we were chatting in the pub, I was thinking how Grandfather’s always had the glad eye for young blondes. He’s never really tried to hide it. He makes jokes about it. Or at least I thought they were jokes. I never really took it seriously. Him being so old. It’s that typical thing, isn’t it? Old bloke looking at some pretty young filly and wishing he was a younger man.’

  Helen shivered again as she thought of Pearl being a pretty young thing.

  Gloria sat back on her little two-seater settee. She had been truly shocked by what Helen had told her this evening, although she had tried not to show it, or how angry she felt.

  ‘And he’s a widower,’ Helen said. ‘So it sort of made it all right if he was a bit lecherous.’

  ‘When did yer nan die?’ Gloria asked.

  ‘I’m not entirely sure. I was only a baby, so a good twenty years or so ago.’ Helen looked at Gloria. ‘That’s what makes this even worse, if that’s at all possible. My grandmother was still alive when Grandfather did what he did to Pearl. Makes me feel sick.’

  ‘Do you think yer mam knows? About Bel? About what yer grandda was like?’ Gloria asked tentatively. Talking about Miriam to Helen was like dropping a spark into a tinderbox: guaranteed to make Helen’s anger and resentment towards her mother ignite.

  ‘Mother wouldn’t know or care.’ Helen’s face hardened. ‘If it doesn’t concern her, she doesn’t give two figs.’

  She took a sip of her tea and was quiet for a moment.

  ‘I don’t think she knows about Bel, though. I would have seen it when the two of them met. I doubt she knew what Grandfather was really like. She and Aunty Margaret weren’t at home that much when they were growing up. They only seemed to come back during the holidays – and even then they often stayed with friends.’

  Gloria thought about what Helen had told her about her nana and wondered if perhaps she hadn’t been as mad as she’d been made out to be. Keeping her pretty, young, blonde daughters away at boarding school – away from their father – might actually have been an incredibly sane and sensible move.

  ‘You won’t breathe a word of this to Dad, will you?’

  ‘Not if you don’t want me to,’ Gloria agreed.

  ‘Or anyone?’ Helen looked embarrassed. ‘I know you’re about as far removed from a gossip as anyone can get, but I have to make sure, for Bel’s sake – and Pearl’s. They’ve said it’s fine to tell you. Bel knows how close we are. But they’ve both begged me not to tell another living soul. At least for the time being. Bel hasn’t even told Polly yet.’

  ‘Really? That surprises me. I thought them two told each other everything.’

  ‘I know, I was surprised as well.’ Helen thought for a moment. ‘Bel said that the time’s never been right, but I think there’s more to it.’

  Gloria gave Helen a questioning look.

  ‘I’m not sure, but there’s a part of me wonders whether she feels shame,’ Helen mused.

  ‘But it’s not her fault, is it?’ Gloria said.

  ‘I know, but I can understand why she might feel like that. I know it’s not quite the same for me, but I feel ashamed.’

  Another puzzled look from Gloria.

  ‘For being related to someone like that,’ Helen said. ‘For being related to a monster. I have a monster as a grandfather. Bel has a monster for a father. And whether we like it or not, we both have that monster’s blood coursing through our veins.’

  Chapter Fifty-Five

  ‘Charlotte!’ Lily’s voice sounded out down West Lawn. It was still quite busy, but not as packed as it had been earlier on. There was a small crowd waiting for the bus further along the street, and courting couples walking slowly, looking up at the big houses that could not fail but induce both awe and envy.

  ‘Charlotte!’ Lily’s tone was now tinged with anger. It did the trick. Charlotte stopped in her tracks and turned around.

  Lily could see that her pretty face was tear-stained. She’d also clearly pinched a little mascara from Rosie as there were dark smudges under her eyes. She looked bereft. Alone. Distraught. And so much more.

  ‘Follow me!’ Lily commanded as she stomped past.

  She could hear Charlotte’s slightly raised Mary-Jane heels on the pavement and breathed a sigh of relief that she was doing as she was told. When she reached the small gate at the bottom of the pathway, she turned to look at Charlotte.

  ‘I’m not a believer in airing my dirty laundry in public, so we’re going to have this conversation indoors, away from prying eyes.’

  She swung open the gate. ‘All right?’

  Charlotte looked up at the house.

  Lily saw her hesitation. ‘There’s nothing to be afraid of in my humble abode. It’s probably the safest place you could ever be.’

  Charlotte walked through the gate.

  Lily gave another sigh of relief.

  Two minutes later they were walking over the threshold and into the main hallway.

  ‘Lily!’ Vivian appeared from the kitchen and stopped in her tracks. She opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out.

  ‘Yes, my dear, it’s me … And Charlotte.’ She looked at her charge. ‘Now, if you don’t mind, Vivian, I would very much like a large Rémy, please, and I think Charlotte here could do with a hot chocolate with plenty of sugar.’

  Vivian’s eyes were like saucers.

  The fact Charlotte was here – in the state she was in – while there was business being conducted upstairs meant only one thing.

  Charlotte knew.

  Boy, oh boy!

  ‘We’ll be in the office,’ Lily said as she pushed open the oak door. She waited until Charlotte was in before pushing the door ajar and marching over to Rosie’s desk to retrieve her packet of Gauloises.
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  ‘So you’ve worked it out?’ Lily asked. ‘You know that my home is also what many would call a brothel. I like to refer to it as a “bordello”.’

  Charlotte stood, not knowing what to do or even say any more.

  ‘Why don’t you sit down, ma chère.’ Lily softened her tone. Charlotte did as she was told and sat on the chaise longue. ‘And you can tell me what you know. And then we can go from there.’

  Lily listened as Charlotte told her, haltingly, how, since she’d moved back, she’d started to wonder how Rosie had been able to afford the school fees, and everything else that went along with them. That she had seen ‘the red room’ when she’d come round for tea but not understood its true purpose. How she had seen Maisie and Vivian with two admirals on Christmas Eve and been puzzled when they had all ignored each other at Polly’s wedding. And how this afternoon she had watched them both again as they had chatted to two soldiers before bringing them back to the house – which was when she’d seen the red light.

  ‘Then everything suddenly just fell into place,’ Charlotte said, her voice faint. ‘Why Rosie hadn’t told me about you, or her work here … Why she seemed determined to keep me away from here.’ Charlotte looked around the room. ‘Why she was telling me lies about stupid little things that it didn’t make sense for her to lie about.’

  ‘Knock knock!’ Vivian drawled.

  ‘Come in.’ Lily had been leaning against the desk. She stood up to let Vivian put the tray down. Vivian handed Lily her brandy and took the mug of hot chocolate over to Charlotte.

  ‘Here you are, hon.’

  Charlotte glanced up at Vivian, forced a smile and mumbled, ‘Thank you.’

  ‘Nothing’s ever as bad as it seems, honeybun, you remember that.’ Vivian gave Charlotte a smile before throwing Lily a look and turning to make her way out of the room.

  ‘Just holler if y’all need anything else,’ she said, shutting the door behind her.

  ‘You’re shocked by everything you’ve found out.’ Lily looked at Charlotte. Her face looked pale. ‘Which is perfectly natural.’

  ‘I just don’t understand why Rosie had to do … that,’ Charlotte said.

  Lily heard the contempt and derision in Charlotte’s voice. She bristled.

  ‘Let’s call a spade a spade,’ Lily said. ‘By that, you mean have sex with men for money?’

  Charlotte nodded but didn’t meet Lily’s gaze.

  Lily scrutinised Charlotte’s face. The look of repugnance was still there.

  ‘It’s no different than a woman marrying a man for his money,’ she said. ‘And I’ll bet you wouldn’t give a woman who marries for money a look like the one I’m seeing on your face now, would you?’

  Charlotte stared up at Lily. Now there was defiance. ‘That’s different.’

  ‘Oh, ma chère, it all boils down to the same thing. It’s a transaction. A business deal. You want something I have and I’m prepared to sell it to you. At least under this roof it’s a safe place to conduct business, which is more than I can say for a lot of marriages.’

  Lily looked at Charlotte. She was still young. She had a lot to learn – none of which she would be taught at that school of hers.

  ‘Why?’ Charlotte suddenly blurted out. ‘Why did Rosie do it?’

  ‘She did what she did for money,’ Lily said simply.

  ‘But why couldn’t she just do the books – like she’s doing now? Why did she have to … to sleep with men?’

  Lily sighed.

  She was glad Rosie was not here. She would not want her to see or hear Charlotte’s judgement – or her disgust.

  ‘Rosie could not have earned the kind of money she did by simply doing the books, Charlotte. Nor could she have earned that kind of money doing anything else. Not the kind of money she needed to do what she personally felt she had to do.’

  Charlotte looked puzzled.

  ‘What do you mean to do what she personally felt she had to do?’

  She looked at her hot chocolate and put it on the coffee table.

  ‘She didn’t have to send me to boarding school. Which I hated, by the way. She didn’t have to send me away full stop. I could have gone to school here. A normal school. Like every other normal person.’

  Charlotte’s anger was rising.

  ‘We could have got by without her doing – ’ she threw Lily a defiant look ‘ – that.’

  Lily had to tell her. She knew Rosie wouldn’t. Not in a million years.

  Lily took a slug of her brandy, stubbed out her cigarette and went to sit next to Charlotte on the chaise longue. Charlotte mightn’t be her blood, but Lily was as near to a mother as Charlotte was ever going to get – and she needed to know the whole truth. For her own sake.

  ‘What I’m going to tell you is quite distressing, my dear.’ She took Charlotte’s hand. ‘But you need to know why Rosie took you away from here. Why she put you in a school in the middle of nowhere, and why she did what she did to keep you at that school of yours.’

  And that was when Lily told Charlotte the whole truth. How her uncle Raymond had forced Rosie to make a deal with the devil on the night of their parents’ funeral. How he had forced her to be compliant while he raped her, to be quiet or else he would go and do the same to her little sister sleeping next door.

  Lily looked at Charlotte and read the horror she was feeling.

  It hurt to have to tell her.

  But she went on.

  She told Charlotte how Rosie had got her out of town as quickly as possible, leaving no trace as to where they had both gone, but particularly no trace of where Charlotte had been taken.

  ‘The first few years after your mum and dad died, your sister was driven by fear. By a determination to keep you safe. Away from that sick, depraved man.’ Lily shivered, remembering her brief meeting with him.

  ‘Don’t forget your sister was not much older than you are now.’ Lily looked at Charlotte. There were the beginnings of tears. ‘Rosie thought the best way to keep you safe and out of harm’s way was to get you in a boarding school out in the country. A place where you would be educated and looked after. Most of all, a place where that monster would never find you, but if by some remote possibility he did, she knew the school wouldn’t let him near you. Your sister had given them strict instructions that no one could contact you without her permission.’

  Lily looked at Charlotte. The tears were now streaming down her face. She put her drink down on the floor and put her arm around her and gave her a hug.

  The gesture seemed to make Charlotte cry even more.

  ‘I know, my dear,’ Lily tried to soothe her. ‘What I have told you is quite appalling. It should not happen to anybody in life, but unfortunately it does. Your sister was dealt a pretty bad hand, but to her credit, she made the most of it.’

  She leant back a little so that she could see Charlotte’s face.

  ‘So, you must never, ever judge your sister, you hear me?’

  Charlotte nodded.

  ‘I never, ever want to see that look of disgust on your face when you even think about what your sister did for money.’

  Another nod.

  ‘Because everything Rosie has done in her life has been for you, Charlotte.’ Lily had to swallow. She felt tears pricking her own eyes. ‘She kept you safe, got you the best education money could buy. She sold her body to buy you a future.’

  Lily shook her head and smiled sadly.

  ‘That girl would have given her own life for you if she’d had to. If it was my sister who had done all that for me, I’d feel like the luckiest girl on the planet.’

  She smiled at Charlotte as one lone tear managed to escape.

  ‘And the most loved.’

  She gave her a hug.

  ‘Rosie’s not the only one who loves you, you know?’

  Lily could feel Charlotte’s body relax, her body gently juddering as she cried.

  And cried.

  After a while Charlotte sat up.

  �
��If it wasn’t for me, though, none of this would have happened … If it wasn’t for me, Rosie could have stopped him doing what he did – or at least tried.’

  There was a fresh burst of tears.

  ‘This is all my fault. I’ve made all this happen!’

  Lily cupped Charlotte’s tear-stained face in her hand.

  ‘Now, you listen here. None of this is your fault. Do you hear me?’

  Charlotte wasn’t convinced.

  ‘You had no bearing on what that man did. He would have done what he did regardless. You were just a convenient pawn in his sick game.’

  Lily sat up straight.

  ‘You’ve got to listen to me, Charlotte, and listen properly. It’s important you understand this otherwise what you know – what happened to your sister – will pull you down into the mire. It will infect your life. And I, for one, refuse to stand by and let one monstrous, malignant human being continue to destroy others from the grave.’

  Charlotte sat up and wiped her eyes.

  She looked at Lily.

  ‘Good,’ Lily said, taking her hand and clasping it in her own. ‘Take it from someone who has been round the block more times than most people have had hot dinners.’

  She squeezed Charlotte’s hand and gave her a smile.

  ‘You have to accept that you were in no way responsible for what happened to Rosie. You have to understand that here – ’ Lily touched the side of her head with her free hand ‘ – and here.’ She touched the top of her bosom. ‘In your head and in your heart.

  ‘There’s only one person to blame for what happened to your big sister and that is that man. No one else. Not your parents. Not Rosie. Not God. Not anyone else. Only him.’

  Lily took a deep breath.

  ‘There’s going to be times when you think Why me? Why Rosie? And I’m telling you now, when you do take a dip in the pool of self-pity, don’t wallow in it for too long. What’s happened has happened. It’s in the past now and it’s not going to spoil your future.’

  Lily looked at Charlotte.

  ‘Do you understand?’

  Charlotte nodded.

  Lily stood up and went over to the sideboard. She pulled out the top drawer and took out a lace hanky.