Villa of Sun and Secrets

by Jennifer Bohnet

  A blackbird up high on the honeysuckle in the courtyard burst into song as Ella’s voice faded away. Josette stayed where she was for several moments, lost in the past, before pulling herself together with a sharp mental shake. Daydreaming about what might have been was not something she’d ever indulged in. She’d always believed that life was what it was and one got on with whatever hand it dealt you. Even if it did turn out to be a lonelier and less satisfying life than you’d expected or wanted.

  Josette sighed as she picked up her cup and went indoors. The house felt different, empty now that Carla had left. ‘Get a grip, you knew she wasn’t a permanent fixture,’ Josette muttered.

  A sudden urgent need rose in her to have the company of a real man tonight – not a ghost from the past. She’d phone Gordon and see if he was free for supper. If not, she’d go to one of the cafes in Place National, have a bottle of wine to banish the demons and forget how much she’d loved being Mario’s ‘Josie’. Nobody else since had ever called her that.

  An hour after she’d said goodbye to Josette and checked her luggage in at Nice airport for her flight home, Carla still had time to kill. With at least another hour to wait before her flight, she bought an English magazine in the newsagents and then, rather than spend the time in the departure lounge, made her way upstairs to the restaurant with a view out over the runways, in search of coffee and a comfortable seat.

  Sitting at a window table in the restaurant overlooking the Mediterranean and the runways, Carla left the magazine unopened, watching the planes landing and taking off – wondering who was going where was way more entertaining.

  A smiling waitress placed coffee and the pain au chocolat she’d ordered on the table. ‘Merci,’ Carla said automatically.

  Sipping her coffee and slowly allowing the chocolate and buttery pastry to melt in her mouth, Carla felt herself getting uptight as she thought about the reception she could expect from David when they met.

  She hadn’t told him, or Maddy, that she would be back today. She’d booked herself into a local hotel for a couple of nights to give her time to sort things with the solicitor and the estate agent and, crucially, find herself somewhere to live. She was determined not to go back to the house she and David had lived in for over twenty years. She’d ring Maddy and tell her she was back but make her promise not to tell David until she was ready to face him.

  ‘Bonjour. I’m happy to see you managed to survive your holiday in one piece,’ a male voice interrupted her thoughts, making her jump. The man who’d saved her from certain injury that first day in Antibes.

  ‘Bonjour. Yes, thanks to you,’ she said. ‘May I buy you a coffee?’

  He shook his head. ‘I’ve already ordered and paid, but I’ll join you if I may? I’m Bruno, by the way,’ he added as he pulled a chair out.

  ‘Carla. Nice to meet you officially!’

  ‘Your holiday was good, I hope?’

  ‘Just the break I needed,’ Carla said. ‘Back to the real world now.’ She glanced at him. ‘Have you been on holiday down here too?’

  Bruno shook his head. ‘Non. I live in Cannes. Today I meet my uncle who comes for a short stay.’

  ‘I didn’t get to Cannes this week, but maybe next time when I visit my aunt.’

  ‘Of course, I’d forgotten you said you have family down here.’

  ‘My mother was born in Antibes, although she rarely returned after she married my father. She died a few months ago and this visit was to… to deal with family stuff.’ Not a complete lie, but not the total truth either. Bringing the package down to Josette had been a convenient excuse for her to run away from her own family, but she wasn’t about to tell Bruno, a stranger, that.

  ‘My condolences for the loss of your mother. It is always a difficult time, the months after someone loved passes. Sorrow does not go well with the things that officialdom sometimes requires us to deal with.’

  ‘That is so true,’ Carla said, smiling at him. ‘I’ve some more officialdom to deal with next week.’

  ‘Bon chance. Ah,’ he said, glancing out of the window. ‘The Italian plane lands. My uncle will be in Arrivals soon.’ Bruno stood up and held out his hand. ‘Au revoir, Carla. Perhaps you visit Cannes one day and we’ll meet again.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Carla smiled. ‘And thank you once again for saving my life.’

  She watched Bruno stride away and disappear into the crowd before finishing her coffee and picking up her bag and magazine.

  Time to make her way through security and on to the departure lounge before boarding the Bristol flight and flying back home to face her problems. Tomorrow she’d begin the process of pulling the pieces of her fractured life back together, even though she knew, with absolute certainty, a major piece was fractured beyond repair.

  8

  ‘So, how long will the sale of the house take to go through?’ Carla asked.

  The estate agent moved some papers on his desk. ‘The couple whose offer you’ve accepted are selling their house, so…’ he shrugged. ‘Between eight and ten weeks is the usual. As you’re not looking to buy something else, it all depends if the buyer is in a chain, really.’

  ‘The thing is, I’m thinking of moving into the house until it sells,’ Carla said, taking a deep breath. ‘I’m divorcing my husband, so I need somewhere temporary to live. Eight to ten weeks should be long enough for me to sort something out. And I will have to buy somewhere too, eventually.’

  ‘I’m sorry for your situation, but maybe I can help?’ the estate agent offered. ‘Tell me your price range and the area and I’ll look for some suitable properties.’

  ‘Thanks. I’m not sure yet which area I’m looking at,’ Carla said. ‘I’ve got to get my head around certain things. Make a few decisions.’

  Five minutes later, leaving the estate agents and clutching a handful of leaflets, she found a cafe, where she ordered a lunchtime sandwich and coffee. Sitting there staring unseeingly out of the window at the passing traffic and thinking about the morning’s meetings, Carla felt strangely detached from reality. As if she was watching someone else altogether make decisions about her life without any regard for the consequences.

  ‘Yes, I want you to issue my husband with divorce papers,’ she’d told the solicitor without hesitation – citing unreasonable behaviour. At the estate agents, she’d agreed to the offer price for No. 29 without demurring. Two decisions, both of which would spawn innumerable changes and problems in her life, taken so easily.

  Selling Amelia’s house was an inevitable outcome after her mother’s death, and one that she was mentally prepared for. But divorcing David? That was something she’d not thought about in years. Once, after his second affair, she’d made all sorts of secret plans for a life without David, only to pathetically accept that the devil she knew was the best option. Now, an impulsive reaction less than a fortnight ago had sent her careering towards an unknown future. A future it would be down to her alone to plan and make work.

  During her time in France it hadn’t seemed so daunting. Carla had drawn comfort from the fact that Josette had always lived on her own and seemingly enjoyed being single. At least now she’d have the freedom, for the first time in her life, to do what she wanted without asking anyone’s permission. No parents or husband to question her actions. No children to be responsible for. But the question, what did she intend to do with the rest of her life, had to be faced and an answer found. Something that Maddy had no hesitation in pointing out later that day as she prepared them both supper in her flat.

  ‘I know Dad’s in the wrong, but running away was an overreaction, wasn’t it? Might have been better if you’d stayed and made him confess to your face. Where the hell did you go anyway?’

  ‘France. I went to see Tante Josette.’

  ‘Granny’s sister? Why?’

  ‘Seemed like a good idea at the time. And it was. I needed to get away and think about what to do.’

  Maddy looked at her expectantly. ‘Reach any decisions
?’

  ‘A couple, but right now I think I’m just going to, “wing it”. I think that’s the best expression,’ Carla said.

  Maddy pulled the cork out of a bottle of Merlot before looking at Carla. ‘Wing it?’

  ‘Yes, you know – see where these decisions lead me.’

  ‘So, these couple of decisions are?’

  ‘Today I accepted an offer on Granny’s house. And,’ Carla took a deep breath and looked Maddy directly in the eye, ‘I’ve filed for divorce from your father.’ She picked up the glass of wine Maddy had pushed towards her. ‘Those two decisions should be enough to kick start things, don’t you think? Cheers.’

  ‘Oh, Mum, have you really thought things through, though?’ Maddy said. ‘Selling Granny’s house is one thing, although if you and Dad do divorce, you could keep it and live there?’

  Carla, catching the emphasis Maddy placed on ‘if’, shook her head. ‘There is no “if” about the divorce. It’s going ahead. As for No. 29, I am thinking about going to live there for a few weeks until completion, but after that I want a fresh start somewhere.’

  ‘Have you told Dad you’re back? Has he been in touch?’

  Something in the tone of Maddy’s voice made Carla glance at her.

  ‘Yes. He’s asked me to meet him for lunch tomorrow,’ Carla said. ‘Can’t say I’m looking forward to it. He said there are things we need to talk through.’

  ‘I think he wants you to forgive him,’ Maddy said quietly. ‘He probably also wants to tell you he and this Lisa have broken up.’

  Carla stared at her. ‘Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. When did that happen?’

  ‘Three days ago.’ Maddy turned away to take their lasagne supper out of the oven and place it on the table. ‘Lisa told him she’d made a mistake and dumped him.’ Maddy topped up their wine glasses before sitting down and joining her silent mother. ‘Will it make a difference? Will you forgive him?’

  ‘Not a difference in the way your father maybe hopes it will,’ Carla said. ‘And no, I can’t and won’t forgive him this time. Whatever he says, or promises, it’s too late. Years too late.’

  ‘Are you not scared about divorcing Dad?’ Maddy said. ‘I can’t bear the thought of you being alone.’

  Carla reached across the table and touched her daughter’s arm. ‘Hey, I’m fifty this year, not ninety. I’m actually looking forward to having a new life. Doing things I want to. Pleasing myself for once.’ She took a helping of lasagne before saying, ‘Right, can we please change the subject. Tell me about the business. Any interesting new clients?’

  Changing the subject worked. Maddy had soon launched into an enthusiastic conversation about her business and nothing more was said about her parents’ marriage problems.

  It was gone nine o’clock when Carla reluctantly picked up her tote and said she had to get back to the hotel.

  ‘Hey, nice bag, Mum. I could do with one like that,’ Maddy said, stroking the leather.

  ‘Hands off, it’s mine,’ Carla said. ‘Using it gives me confidence. Reminds me while I mightn’t want to paint the town red, I’m going to enjoy my new life on my terms.’

  ‘I just want you to be happy, Mum,’ Maddy said, hugging her.

  ‘Thanks, darling – it’s what I wish for us both.’

  Walking back to her hotel, Carla thought about how she’d assured Maddy she was looking forward to enjoying her new life, and she truly was. But there was no point in kidding herself the next few weeks – months – were going to be easy, because they weren’t. Tomorrow’s meeting with David was going to be more difficult than she’d anticipated if he did indeed want her to forgive him.

  Knowing the way David thought, the fact that this Lisa had dumped him would mean he’d assume that Carla would feel sorry for him, and a forgiving reconciliation would be possible. He wasn’t a man who could live alone. This time though she would not give in and forgive him. No way.

  9

  Carla stood in the kitchen of No. 29 the next day trying to view the house objectively and not let her emotions override her head. She needed somewhere to live until the current mess her life was in was sorted out. The house had been left to her and was the sensible, money-saving answer. She’d remember the happy times here, times that mostly involved her dad, and push other unhappy memories to the back of her mind. Doing that, surely she could bear to live here for a few weeks?

  But what about furniture? If she’d known she was going to leave David all those weeks ago when she’d stripped the place ready for sale, she’d have left the basics – bed, table, settee, cooker – in place. A ready-made bolthole.

  She only needed a room really. If she lived downstairs, she could make do with a bed settee, some sort of table with a chair and a small combi oven… A kettle, crockery, cutlery, bed linen, suddenly the ‘need to have’ list in her head was growing longer by the second. So annoying when she knew that everything she needed was in duplicate, triplicate even, in her old home. Could that be her answer? If she moved in here, she’d ask David if she could take whatever she needed. Even as the thought occurred to her, she banished it. When they divorced, half of the old marital home would be hers by right, so she would tell, not ask, David that she was only taking what was rightfully hers. And then, when she moved into her new home, she’d at least have a head start in furnishing it and having familiar things around her.

  Moving into the sitting room, Carla saw with a jolt that the mantelpiece was empty. The urn with Amelia’s ashes had gone. She’d not decided where to scatter Amelia before running away to France and had deemed leaving them where they were was the best thing. So who had taken them? What had they done with them? Not scattering them was one thing, but losing the ashes would be another something else entirely. Maybe the estate agent had hidden them? Tactfully banishing them from the view of potential buyers. But where?

  The obvious place was one of the old-fashioned cupboards built into the alcoves on either side of the fireplace. Cupboards which her mother had always refused to have removed, saying they were too useful to take out. Holding her breath, Carla opened the door on the right-hand side. Empty.

  She moved across to the left-hand side of the fireplace and peered into the cupboard. And breathed. The urn was there, pushed to one side, out of sight. Lifting it out, Carla put it back on the mantelpiece as a reminder to dispose of them urgently.

  Right now, though, she needed to get across town to meet David for the ‘we need to talk’ lunch he’d insisted they had. She’d wanted to meet somewhere neutral for both of them but in the end David had over-ruled her, saying the pub restaurant near his office was the most convenient for him, and as she was a free agent, it made sense for her to go there.

  Carla deliberately arrived early and chose a table in a quiet corner where she could sit and wait out of sight of prying eyes. She ordered a bottle of sparkling water, asked for the menu and ordered a ploughman’s lunch.

  Of course David was late. Carla had finished her lunch and pushed the plate to one side before he arrived in a flurry of laughter and bonhomie with a couple of people from the office – Helen his P.A. and his senior manager, Simon. Carla saw him make a quick assessment of tables around the restaurant before he spotted her. She gave him a small nod of acknowledgement and waited as the three of them made their way over to her. Surely he wasn’t going to invite Helen and Simon to join them?

  ‘I’d ask you to join us,’ she heard David say apologetically, ‘but we’ve got some catching up to do now Carla’s back from holiday.’

  Ah, that’s the way he was playing things, was it? He wanted people to think they were still a united couple.

  After the usual ‘nice to see you again’ and ‘enjoy your lunch’, Helen and Simon moved on to their own table. Carla knew she didn’t imagine the sympathy she saw in Helen’s smile as she said ‘Bye’.

  ‘Sorry I’m late. You know what it’s like.’ David pulled out a chair and sat down, noticing her empty plate as he did. ‘You’ve eaten a
lready?’

  Carla shrugged. ‘I can’t stay long. You were late and I was hungry.’

  ‘So where did you disappear to in a huff?’

  ‘I took your advice and went to Antibes,’ Carla said, deciding to ignore his use of the word huff. It was anything but a huff. Besides, even if it had been, as far as she was concerned he was the last one to condemn her actions.

  ‘You could have told me where you were. Did Josette welcome you with open arms?’

  ‘It was good getting to know Josette a bit better after all the years she and Mum were estranged,’ Carla answered calmly, pouring herself a glass of water as the waiter appeared to take David’s order. She waited until he’d left before saying, ‘So what do you want to talk about?’

  ‘Us, of course,’ David said. ‘Why the hell haven’t you come home? Where are you staying?’

  Carla shook her head. ‘David, you know full well why I haven’t come back home. Her name is Lisa.’ She paused before adding, ‘I’ve got a hotel room for the moment.’

  ‘You can’t live in a hotel indefinitely,’ David said. ‘You need to come home.’

  ‘I don’t want to live in the same house as you right now,’ Carla said. ‘Certainly not while you’re seeing another woman.’

  She waited to see if David would tell her what she already knew about Lisa dumping him. He didn’t.

  ‘I’ve instructed a solicitor and you should receive the divorce papers this week from him,’ she continued.

  ‘I don’t want us to divorce. I apologise for the hurt I’ve caused you by this affair, which, by the way, I’ve ended, and I promise I will try my damnedest to make it up to you.’

  ‘I’d heard she dumped you.’ Carla stared at him. ‘David, I’ve had enough of your broken promises and lies. Lisa is the latest in a long line of women you’ve had affairs with down the years. I’ve had enough of being taken for granted, of being the little woman behind her man. I want a life of my own, and with the children independent and Mum gone,’ she shrugged, ‘well, I want a shot at being truly happy. I refuse to let you hold me back any more. I want to go places.’