by Chris Zett
“But you changed.” It wasn’t a question. “I thought I did too. But I just fell back into my old habit of not trusting anyone.” Emily still didn’t meet her gaze, and her blush hadn’t receded.
“Don’t drive yourself crazy. No one changes in a day or even a month. Just the decision to do so doesn’t make it work. Only resolve, patience, and repetitions.” She touched Emily’s shoulder with her own. “And you came back when you realized what had happened. That’s what is important.”
“Thank you, but I still think I should have stayed and talked.” She leaned into the touch. “So, what can we do to keep you at Seattle General?”
Diana lifted a corner of her mouth in a teasing half-smile. “We’re clever and independent women who know what we want and how to get it, at least most of the time. Imagine what we could accomplish if we worked as a team?”
“A team.” Emily’s smile was brilliant. “I could get used to that idea. So, what’s the next step?”
Diana thought about it for a moment. Helplessness dug a hollow in her middle, growing every second. “I need to take back the control of my story. I don’t want to live with the fear that I could be outed as a former rock musician any minute. But the problem is selling that strategy to Dr. Wallace.”
Emily nodded thoughtfully. “I can see why he wouldn’t like that. I think we should concentrate on finding a way to protect the hospital’s good name. If they aren’t linked with your story, then they won’t need to fire you.” She let go of Diana’s hand to pull out her phone. “Let’s make a list of ideas.”
“The chances of completely leaving the hospital out of it are slim. I’d rather work on a plan to convince them that having a former drummer working for them isn’t the end of the world. The contract only states that I have to avoid negative PR, and it’s not the same, no matter what Dr. Wallace says.”
“I don’t think that’s going to work out for you. What do you think of lying low for a while? Maybe going to an outpatient clinic in the outskirts? Or doing research for a few months at the university? I’m sure Dr. Wallace can arrange something like that. If you’re out of sight, we can contain the damage to the ED.”
Despair filled the hollow, and Diana didn’t see a way out. If the hospital perceived her as a threat to its reputation, she’d be kicked out in a heartbeat. Emily’s lack of support for her plan, vague as it was, hurt and threatened her more than the idea of being jobless.
Chapter 19
Diana sneaked into the hospital through the delivery entrance and shot furtive glances in the direction of the ED area. Lead in her stomach weighed her down and slowed her steps. It wasn’t as though she had to hurry. The plan they had come up with yesterday was for her to stay out of the paparazzi’s view and to talk to Dr. Wallace. Emily had offered to arrange a meeting with the chief of staff.
Arriving before sunrise at five a.m. had helped her stay undetected but left her with two hours of nothing to do but avoiding co-workers and their questions.
Suck it up. Even if they know, you’re still the same person as yesterday. Diana straightened her shoulders and held her head high as she entered the ED through the staircase from the basement. The corridor was only dimly lit and empty. The familiar background of voices chatting at the nurses’ station sounded around the corner. Diana had to walk past them to reach the locker room, so she mentally steeled herself.
The easy banter stopped immediately. “Oh, um, hi, Diana. Didn’t expect you here today.” Courtney, lacking diplomatic skills as always.
“I’m back on day shifts. I just helped with the night shifts while you were out sick.” Or while you were enjoying a vacation over Memorial Day weekend with your boyfriend. She didn’t add what she really thought.
“I meant because of the drug scandal.” Courtney’s grin was wide. What had Diana done to her that she enjoyed this?
Madison gasped. She looked from Courtney to Diana and back with wide eyes and an open mouth as though she couldn’t believe that Courtney had the audacity, or maybe courage, depending on your point of view, to mention it.
Diana called up a smile of her own, hoping she could leave defensiveness out of her voice. “I’m not involved in a drug scandal. A patient who came into the ED, who has every right to confidentiality, by the way, happened to be my ex. And the usual suspects construed a story as clickbait to sell advertising online. I’m just surprised they didn’t insinuate I was abducted by aliens or was worked to death by greedy slave drivers, after the way I looked in those pictures.”
Madison laughed at the last part, and Diana took this as a mini victory. She was probably going to have to fight many more of these skirmishes today, but it was a step in the right direction. She decided to leave while she was ahead. “I’m going to go and get changed. See you soon.”
After changing, Diana went straight to the staff lounge. Liz sat on the couch, looking as tired after her fourth night shift as Diana had been yesterday morning. She typed rapidly on a laptop, probably notes.
“Good morning, Liz. How was your night?” Diana sat on the same couch but left a distance between them in case Liz didn’t want to talk to her.
“Hi. Missed you. Courtney’s constant chatting got on my nerves.” Liz rolled her eyes. “I shouldn’t say that, but it’s true.”
The normalcy of the comment alleviated part of Diana’s tension. Or hadn’t Liz heard?
Liz lightly punched Diana’s shoulder with her fist. “So, that’s what you were hiding. I’m actually relieved. I imagined something much more sinister.”
“What do you mean? Sinister?”
“Maybe I read too many crime novels, but when you showed up with the nine-year gap, always wearing the long sleeves underneath your scrubs, never changing in front of others, I thought you were hiding scars. Either from an accident or abuse.” Liz shrugged. “I would never have guessed you were hiding beautiful tattoos. And all of that fascinating history.”
Wow. That anyone would think that hadn’t even occurred to her, but Liz had a point. She hadn’t been as inconspicuous as she’d thought. “Beautiful, huh? Did you google me?”
Liz laughed. “No, but Courtney did. And I’m afraid she had shown everyone before I had a little talk with her about professional conduct. Not that I think it worked.”
“I expected as much. And I don’t really mind that everyone knows about my past. I’m not ashamed or anything. It’s just that Dr. Wallace made it clear I won’t work here for long if I bring negative attention to the ED.”
“Really? Stuffy, old-fashioned idiot. He shouldn’t have hired you if he wasn’t prepared to stand behind you. Don’t worry, he’s usually more bark than bite.”
Diana didn’t believe the last statement, but Liz’s indignation on her behalf eased her tension a little and brought the other doubts nagging at her to the foreground. “Do you think our co-workers will take me less seriously? Or the patients?”
Liz’s brows wrinkled, and she didn’t answer immediately.
In the quiet room, Diana’s heartbeat sounded unnaturally loud to herself. She tapped a rhythm on her thigh to redirect her focus.
“I can’t speak for everyone here, but I think your work will stand for itself. Hospitals are always full of exaggerated rumors and scandals, as if to prove the TV shows right. For a few days or maybe weeks, you’ll be the focus of those, but then something else will come along, perhaps an affair or a pregnancy, and then they’ll forget about you. The good news is, they’ll defend you against outsiders. Some might think of you as a disgrace, but you’re our disgrace, and we won’t let others bad-mouth you. I sincerely doubt the patients will even notice.” Liz had reached for her with the last sentence and squeezed her arm affectionately.
Diana grimaced. The last bit was reassuring, but it was still out of her control. She hated waiting. “So, provided I’ll still have a job tomorrow, I just let it blow over? I wish I could do som
ething.”
“Be yourself. You’re friendly, respectful, and a hard worker. That’s what the others, especially the nurses, notice about you.”
Groaning, Diana let her head fall back. “Thanks. That helps, even if I wish you had a magic wand that could make everything go away.”
“And I could cure cancer while I’m at it.” Liz laughed.
Diana chuckled, and it lifted her spirits a little. But the fact remained that their boss would probably not find any humor in it. “If you could only change Dr. Wallace’s attitude. But thank you for the pep talk.”
Liz turned serious immediately and nodded. “Anytime. Just let me know what else I can do for you.”
“That means a lot.” Diana stood. “I think I’ll start my shift early and see if I can find something useful to do.”
At the nurses’ station, Diana hurried to complete her file before the shift change at seven. When a shadow fell on the screen, she turned around.
Tony was watching her. His expression was serious, devoid of the usual cordiality.
Diana wiped her suddenly damp hand on her scrubs. “Good morning, Tony.”
He looked her up and down. “Why are you here?”
“What do you mean, here? Now? I’m completing a file.”
“No, I mean here.” He moved his arm in a wide arc, a gesture that encompassed the whole department. “Is this a joke for you? Something to check off your to-do list before you go back to being a star?”
Diana shook her head. “No, definitely not. This work is what I want to do. Preferably for the rest of my life.”
“Good, work it is, then. But I’ll reserve my final judgment.” He smiled, not as openly as he used too, but it was good enough for now. “You better hurry to make it to the turnover on time. Today is not a good day to piss off Dr. Barnes.”
“Thanks.” Diana hesitated for a moment. She wanted to thank him for more than reminding her of the time but couldn’t find the words.
Tony nodded as if he got it and winked.
She had never thought she would not only got used to his constant winking but actually appreciate it.
She slipped into the staff lounge a minute after seven. Everyone stopped talking and stared at her. That was getting tedious. Emily wasn’t here yet, so she let herself flop down on the end of the couch, wondering what had delayed her.
Alec leaned closer and slapped her on the shoulder. “A rock star? Wow! I bet you scored tons of cool chicks.”
Resisting the temptation to stand and sit somewhere else, Diana rubbed her shoulder. She didn’t know what to say to that absurd statement.
“Alec, shut up. Just ignore him. He grew up in a cave.” Peter flashed her a quick grin and ran a hand through his short, dark curls. “Is there anything we can do to help?”
“Thanks. Not talking about it would probably be best, but I hope someone will do something crass soon and create new rumors.”
“Maybe Alec can help you with that,” Peter said.
Diana laughed, and the others joined in. After a moment, Alec chuckled too.
The sound of a door closing with more force than necessary stopped the laughter. Emily strode to the short side of the table and sat, looking only at Liz. “Start your report.”
She was wearing too much makeup again, covering each freckle and line as if they’d never existed. Diana hoped it was more armor than mask and that the real Emily wouldn’t disappear beneath it.
After Liz had finished, Emily turned to Diana. Her expression was unreadable, but her gray eyes were a shade darker than usual and bored into Diana like laser beams, reaching all the way into her heart.
“Dr. Petrell, we have an appointment with Dr. Wallace at eight.” Emily’s tone was carefully neutral.
“We? I don’t want you to get into trouble because of me.” Diana wanted to reach out and touch her hand to reassure herself that everything would be okay, but, of course, she didn’t. “Can we talk about this?” The last thing she wanted to do was pull Emily down with her on her sinking ship.
“No time.” Emily jumped up. “Liz, I need you to come with me.” She strode to the door without waiting for Liz.
Liz looked from Emily to Diana and back. She gave an apologetic shrug to Diana before she stood and followed her.
Diana closed her eyes, slowly exhaled, and slumped back against the couch. Was that a good sign? It certainly didn’t feel like one.
Emily had just finished her talk with Liz as her phone rang. The caller ID immediately made her heart race. What did Dr. Wallace’s assistant want? To postpone the meeting? She accepted the call. “Barnes.”
“Dr. Barnes, Brian speaking. Dr. Wallace asked me to set up an additional meeting. Do you have time now?” The professional politeness didn’t reveal the intention behind the summons.
The question was rhetorical, so she agreed and hung up.
Oh shit! Has he found out about Diana and me? How?
“Emily, are you okay?” Liz caught Emily’s shaking hand in her own.
“I don’t know.” Emily mentally rearranged her timetable. “I need to go up to Dr. Wallace now. Could you take care of everything?”
“Don’t worry, I’ve got this. Don’t let the old buzzard get to you.” With an encouraging smile, Liz left.
During the ride in the elevator, Emily tried to find an alternative explanation for the imminent meeting but came up blank. She checked if her scrubs were still wrinkle-free and knocked on Dr. Wallace’s office door.
Brian called her in immediately and waved her through. His bright expression was as welcoming as every other time she’d been here, and it helped to assuage her nervousness.
She had countless talks with Dr. Wallace in the past, all of them friendly. Since he’d been promoted to chief of staff and she’d taken over the day-to-day matters of the ED, they’d conferred regularly, and she’d come to enjoy their conversations. She’d learned a lot from him and appreciated the informal mentorship. But today was different.
“Dr. Barnes, good morning. How are you?” Dr. Wallace looked up from the document he had been studying and pointed to the couple of chairs in front of his mahogany desk that dominated one side of his large corner office.
“I’m fine, sir.” That was a complete lie, but politeness was deeply ingrained in her. Emily took a seat and restrained herself from stroking the gleaming surface that reminded her of her father’s desk. As Brian placed a cup of tea in front of her, she thanked him. See, no reason to worry. Everything’s as always. But she didn’t dare to reach for the tea as her stomach was in knots, and no amount of denial could wash away the nausea.
“Dr. Barnes, I wanted to talk to you privately before…the other matter. I have a proposal for you. As you know, I highly value the good work you do in our ED, and I think it is past time to honor that officially.” He beamed with a proud smile as he handed over the papers in front of him.
Emily blinked. What was that about? A raise?
A few words popped out from the paper. Her name. Employment contract. Head of Emergency Department. Her vision tunneled on the last one, and everything else swam out of focus. Head of Emergency Department. A wave of heat raced through her body like an out-of-control rocket and took her breath away. A dim voice filtered through the blood pounding in her ears, and she looked up to see Dr. Wallace’s mouth moving. Emily shook her head to clear her senses and took a deep breath.
“Dr. Barnes? Everything okay?” The concern in his voice calmed her.
“I’m just…overwhelmed. I hadn’t expected this.” Her hands shook as she quickly scanned the pages of the contract until she came to the figures that would be her new salary. Wow. She put the contract on the desk to concentrate on Dr. Wallace.
He chuckled. “You’ve earned it, no question. We’ve always been on the same wavelength, and I know I can trust you to have the same priorities. I
can guarantee you, you won’t find a better offer. Take a couple of days to read the contract and think about it.”
“Thank you, I will.” That crazy rocket had catapulted her onto a cloud of happiness, and she couldn’t stop grinning. He didn’t know about their relationship, and now she’d be in the perfect position to help Diana.
The phone rang, and Dr. Wallace grimaced. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but I have to take this. I’ll see you at eight. I hope I can count on you.”
Emily clutched the contract to her chest and nodded. “Of course, sir, see you soon.” Her steps lighter than before, she left the office in search of Liz. Everything would work out fine now.
Five minutes to eight, Diana hesitated to enter the chief of staff’s office, trying to decide if she should face the lion’s den alone or wait for Emily. She adjusted the collar of her immaculate white lab coat, one she had never worn at work before, squared her shoulders, and stood straight. Just as she raised her hand to knock, a soft touch to her back distracted her, and she turned around.
Emily, wearing the same unfamiliar uniform they had no use for in the ED, stood directly behind her. Her gaze was confident and shining with a passion that reminded Diana of a cat about to pounce on her prey. She seemed at home in a lion’s den. Emily quickly squeezed her hand.
The touch was warm and firm, and it melted the cold dread residing in her stomach.
“Trust me,” Emily whispered. “Everything will be fine.”
Diana nodded. She did trust her.
Emily held her gaze for a moment, and a small smile played around her lips. They lost their perpetual hard line, and Diana wanted to kiss them, even though they were tinted in a fake rose color that covered up their natural beauty.
