Leaving Barringer

by Tina Martin

  The quick, back-to-back ringing of the doorbell interrupted the ladies.

  Kalina stood up and walked to the door. Before she could get there, the bell rang more, followed by loud knocks. She wasn’t expecting anyone else, so who was it at her door? She looked through the peephole to see Barringer standing there. Crap!

  “Um, Calista, Barringer is here,” she said after she’d swiftly walked back to the family room. The doorbell was steadily going off. “I’ll tell him to leave if I have to, but I don’t want to. Gosh, maybe I should tell Bryson to come handle this,” she said, not knowing exactly what to do. She definitely didn’t want to be in the middle of Calista and Barringer’s marital problems.

  She took out her cell, was going to dial Bryson when she saw a text from him:

  Bryson: Not sure, but Barringer may be on the way over there. He hasn’t been able to reach Calista by phone, so he wanted to see her in person. Long story.

  That was one text message she’d read a little too late. She placed her phone on the table. “What should I tell him, Calista?”

  Calista stood up and said, “Don’t tell him anything. I’ll go outside. I’m not going to drag you guys into our mess. And just so you know, I love all of you and I don’t know how this will affect our relationships but I hope that no matter what happens, we can remain friends.”

  “We love you, too, Calista,” they all said. Kalina, June and Candice hugged her.

  Calista walked over to Vivienne, hugged her and said, “See you later, Viv.” She gently touched Vivienne’s stomach. “And I guess I’ll be seeing you shortly, Junior.”

  With that, she headed for the door where she slid into her shoes. With her purse swinging from her shoulder, she opened the front door to a mean-faced Barringer Blackstone. The time had come to face the music.

  Chapter 8

  With tears clouding her vision, Calista swallowed the lump in her throat staring into Barringer’s eyes. He actually looked hurt, but angry. Upon batting her eyes and blinking away tears, she realized she had it wrong. He looked more angry than he was hurt.

  She stepped out onto the porch where he was standing, watching the porch light shine against his smooth, dark skin.

  “So this is what you do to me?” he asked, with a raised voice, glaring at her. “This is what I’m worth to you?”

  “You can stop yelling,” she said calmer than she realized she would be.

  “You make love to me then sneak out in the middle of the night like your life is so bad…”

  “You must be mistaken. I didn’t make love to you. I was just lying there while you did whatever it was you were doing in a lame attempt to get me to stay.”

  His face twisted in anger. “What?”

  “Didn’t work this time, Barringer.”

  He grinned, which she thought was out of place for the heated argument they were having. “You’ve got some nerve. This is how you talk to me. To your husband. After I break my back to provide for you, this is how you talk to me!”

  “Stop yelling,” she told him again.

  “Don’t tell me what to do!” he snapped, yelling louder with veins bulging out of his neck. “I’m talking to you. If you can sneak out of the house in the middle of the night like a teenager in heat, I can yell as loud as I want!”

  “Then yell by yourself. I’m not going to listen to it. I’m done,” she said, walking past him.

  He grabbed her arm. “You’re not done until I say you’re done!”

  “Let me go, Barry,” she said, yanking her arm from his grasp, looking at him now. He must’ve lost his mind. He’d never grabbed her like that before. Never yelled at her like that before. He looked broken, like a man on the edge – still didn’t change the fact that their marriage was over and had been for years. Did he really think yelling would encourage her to come back home?

  “You have everything!” he yelled, veins engorged at his temples, “I give you everything! And this…this is how you repay me?” He turned his back to her and just as quickly turned around to face her again when he said, “I work from sun up to sun down to make sure you have everything you ever wanted in life—”

  “I didn’t ask you to do anything for me, Barry. Well, I take that back. I did ask you, no I begged you to give me a family. That is the only thing I’ve ever asked of you,” she said in tears now. “I never told you to take over your father’s company, and—”

  “Told me?” he said and dipped his head back. “You thought I needed your permission?”

  “Not at all, but you could’ve talked to me about it. You decided to do it on your own…made the decision without even discussing it with me.”

  “That job takes care of us. That job has you living well…getting your hair and nails done…driving that Lexus I bought and paid for,” he said pointing at her car. “You weren’t complaining when I pulled up in the driveway with that.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “You are so full of yourself, Barry. I could’ve very well worked and made my own money, but you requested I didn’t work. Said you wanted to be the breadwinner, and I was supposed to be a housewife. A mother.” Calista chuckled amidst her tears and said, “But, I’m neither.”

  “What?” he asked, a frown growing deep in his forehead.

  Calista wiped her eyes, sniffled and cleared her throat. With a shaky, distorted voice, she said, “It’s a shame, really, that you think you can actually be a husband to me when you’re married to your company. The company is your wife, not me. You eat breakfast, lunch and dinner there. Work so late, you may as well sleep there. You’re with the company all the time, and you claim you’re doing all of this work to take care of me? You’re not taking care of me. I’m last place in your life, the position I’ve played for the last three…four years now and I’m not doing it anymore. I’ll take care of myself from now on.”

  “Never knew you to be ungrateful, Calista,” he said with flared nostrils.

  “I’m not ungrateful.”

  “You are,” he said, looking angrily at her. “I took care of you for five years and this is how you repay me?”

  Calista could tell he was fighting back tears, but he wouldn’t cry. He was too much of a man to cry. Too stuck on himself. Too right about everything. Too egotistical.

  “Do you know how many women in this city wish they were you?” he asked.

  Calista glared at him. Did he really just ask me that? What was this? A scare tactic? A way to get her to hold on to him so another woman couldn’t have him?

  “Don’t look surprised,” he said. “You must know you were lucky to end up with a man like me. A hard worker. A provider. Do you know how many women out there dream about the life you have, Cali?”

  “I don’t, but apparently you do, so go find those women and blow their heads up with false promises and lies. Tell them you’ll give them the world, then turn around and throw it in their faces when they do something you don’t like. Tell them to stay at home and take care of your invisible children, be a housewife, staring at walls all day long, cooking dinner for a man who never comes home. Who makes promises but doesn’t keep any of them. They may fall for it, like I did in the beginning, but now, I know I deserve better. Go ahead and be some other woman’s dream man, because you’re no longer the man I dream about.”

  Barringer’s jaw dropped.

  “Goodbye, Barringer,” she said, walking to her car.

  “You won’t find a better man than me!” he shouted behind her.

  Calista rolled her eyes and continued on undeterred.

  Chapter 9

  Over the course of the next week, Calista managed to create some order in her life. She’d gotten a bed delivered, finally. She still hadn’t purchased any living room furniture yet, deciding to use her savings wisely. The last thing she wanted to do was dip into the joint account she shared with Barringer. She needed money to live off of until she could find stable, steady employment. It was a good thing the job interview at the hospital went so well, she got off
ered the job on the spot. She was due to start working first thing Monday morning.

  Barringer called her a few times, leaving angry messages, something about loyalty and betrayal, but he wouldn’t be leaving anymore messages. Today, she officially turned off her old cell phone, threw it away and began using her new phone. She didn’t have to tell anyone why she changed numbers. They knew why already.

  When her new phone rang for the first time, she smiled when she saw who it was – Kalina. “Hello,” she answered.

  “Hey, you…haven’t spoken to you since the party. How’s it going? I see you have a new number.”

  Calista sighed. “Girl, it’s been a rough week. Some days, I feel like I made a mistake. Other days I feel liberated, but sitting here now, I’m feeling like my stance hasn’t accomplished much of anything. I’m still lonely.”

  “Are you up for some company on a Saturday night?”

  “Um…” Calista said. She realized she hadn’t given anyone her new address. That was intentional, a way to ensure Barringer didn’t find out where she was staying. But she couldn’t hide from the man forever. So she gave Kalina her address and awaited her arrival. She could use some company right about now.

  * * *

  “So this is my humble abode,” Calista said. It wasn’t until she said it that she realized how much house she’d given up for her tiny, little apartment. “I don’t have living room furniture yet but we can sit on the bed. This way.”

  “Well at least you have a bed, girlfriend,” Kalina said, toting a takeout bag towards the bedroom where Calista had been watching TV. “Bought you some fried chicken.” She handed her the Styrofoam container.

  “Thanks. I don’t think I’ve eaten at all today.”

  “You don’t think?” Kalina asked. “That’s not good. I know things are pretty messed up right now, but you have to make sure you take care of yourself and your health.”

  “I know. You’re right,” Calista said. She took a bite of chicken and Kalina quietly started on her own meal.

  “Hey, Cali, I have a question for you,” she mumbled while eating.

  “Okay.”

  “Did you, by any chance, send in an anonymous inquiry to The Cooper Files a while ago?”

  Calista smirked. “I was wondering when you were going to make the connection. Yes, that was me. Little did I know the woman I was emailing would be my future sister-in-law. So embarrassing.”

  “You shouldn’t feel embarrassed at all, Calista.”

  “But I do. I feel like this is my fault…like I’m somehow to blame for all of this, and since I’m the one who left him, the family, his family, blames me for breaking up our marriage. Doesn’t matter what he did. They’re all pointing fingers at me.”

  “Nobody’s pointing fingers at you, and at this stage in the game, you can’t be concerned about what everybody else thinks anyway. Everybody else ain’t living your life. They weren’t in the house with you and Barringer. They don’t know what stress you had to put up with. Now, with that being said, I can’t take sides because I love you both. I’m new to the Blackstone family and the last thing I want to do is cause divisions among the people I love.”

  “I understand,” Calista said.

  “But I am open to talk about it, to be a listening ear.”

  “Do you remember when Barry showed up at your house the night we were having the party for Vivienne?”

  “Yes. I wasn’t being nosy, but I was looking out the window ‘cause Barringer looked so angry, I didn’t know what he was going to do. ”

  “He was angry…mad at me for leaving. I mean, I saw anger blazing in his eyes and you know what the sad part is, Kalina?”

  “What’s that?”

  “I haven’t seen him express feelings so genuine since our honeymoon. The other day, he was so mad, I could feel it, just like I could feel how much he loved me the night of our honeymoon. He didn’t have to touch me or anything. All I did was look into his eyes and I…I felt it.”

  “Wow. Well, I don’t know Barringer that well, but from what I can tell, he seems like a pretty nice guy.”

  “He was a lot nicer in the beginning. Now, he’s irritable and cranky. Yet and still, I love him.” Calista sighed. “I held up my end of our marriage. He didn’t return the favor. All I wanted was a family and for him to dedicate as much time to me as he does to his work. That’s all I wanted. But he wanted to give me things – necklaces and handbags – like all that stuff was going to make me happy. I didn’t ask to move to that big house we live in. I was fine with the much smaller house. I didn’t ask him to buy me a Lexus. He did it because he wanted to, and while it’s nice, it’s just a thing. I don’t love it. I can’t make a baby with a car, can I?” Calista laughed.

  Kalina giggled, tickled to tears.

  “Overall, he’s a good man, and yes, he will give me anything I want when it comes to material things, but what about when I need him to hold me at night and he’s still at the office? As I sit here talking to you, I’m remembering all the nights I went to bed alone. All the times I cooked dinner for us, only for him to tell me he wasn’t going to make it home.”

  “Have you thought about counseling?”

  “I have, but Barringer won’t have time for counseling. He has made it clear that his job is more important than I’ll ever be.”

  “Have you asked him to go to counseling with you?”

  “No.”

  “Then maybe you should ask.”

  Calista shook her head. “No. I can’t. It’s too late now.”

  “It’s never too late when you love someone, Calista.”

  “It is, because no matter how much I love him, he still doesn’t love me enough to value me. Another man…” She paused. The thought of being with another man made her breath catch. Made her stomach ache. She was starting over, yes, wanted a man who wanted the same things she wanted, yes, but the thought of being with another man, besides Barringer, made her sick.

  “What were you saying? About another man?” Kalina asked. She narrowed her eyes and asked in a low tone, “There isn’t another man, is there?”

  “No. Of course not. What I was going to say was, I could find another man who wanted the same things I wanted, but I don’t want another man. I want my man. The thought of being with someone else other than Barringer makes my skin crawl,” Calista said. Her body wiggled like she was instantly struck with a chill.

  Kalina giggled. “Sorry for laughing, but it’s so clear to me you’re still in love with him. Maybe this time apart is what you need. Now that Barringer knows how important these issues are to you, maybe he’ll actually address them instead of brushing them off.”

  “Let’s hope so. Otherwise, it’ll just be me and my little apartment.”

  “Yep. You and your apartment.”

  “How’s Vivienne doing, by the way? I meant to call her, but I got sidetracked.”

  “I saw her the other day, briefly. She didn’t look too good. Looks like she’s retaining a lot of fluid.”

  “Oh.”

  “She didn’t seem like she was in any pain, though.”

  “Okay. I’ll try to call her tomorrow before I start working.”

  “Working? You got a job, Calista?”

  “Yes. This past Wednesday, I interviewed for a position in the outpatient department at Regional. They offered me the job the same day.”

  “That’s wonderful.”

  “Yeah,” Calista said, downcast, because working and providing for herself would make it seem like her split from Barringer was permanent. She hated that feeling.

  “Anyway, I have to get going,” Kalina said standing. “Bryce and I are going to catch a movie.”

  “Okay.”

  “See you later, sis,” she told Calista.

  “Okay. Later. Oh, and thanks for the food.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  “And thanks for thinking about me. I know you took time away from Bryson to come here which is partly the reason I didn�
�t want you to come by, at first. Now, I’m glad you did. I really appreciate it, Kalina.”

  “Anytime, Cali.”

  When Kalina exited, Calista stood behind the door and sighed. A large bucket of extra butter popcorn and a movie sounded good right about now. She couldn’t remember the last time Barringer took her to a movie.

  She expelled a breath. Looked like she would have to settle for a TV movie, microwave popcorn and a blanket instead.

  Chapter 10

  Calista didn’t think it would be difficult to settle into a new work environment, but it was somewhat overwhelming – being introduced to so many people. Since the director of the unit was out of town attending a conference, Shavonda, one of the administrators, showed Calista around and gave her a brief overview of the outpatient department.

  Now, Calista was exhausted. As soon as she returned to her office, she buried her face in her hands, sighed heavily and kicked off her heels. After a few deep breaths, she called Vivienne to confirm their lunch plans for the day.

  “Hi, Cali,” she answered.

  “Hey, Viv. How are you?”

  “Feeling a tad bit better,” Vivienne said. “We’re still meeting for lunch, right?”

  “Yes. That’s why I was calling…wanted to make sure you were still up for it.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

  Wouldn’t miss it for the world? Calista thought Vivienne’s choice of words was a little strange. “Okay, then I’ll see you in about twenty minutes.”

  “Okay.”

  Calista hung up the phone and said out loud, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world…why would she say that?”

  Figuring she was reading too much into it, she stood up, stepped back into her shoes, preparing to go when Shavonda tapped lightly on her opened door to get her attention.