All of Me: A Holiday Bites Novel

by Heather Young-Nichols

  These seconds were the longest of my life to date.

  4

  Luna

  When I’d left for work this morning I’d known it was going to be a long day. It always was before one of the romantic holidays. People wanted to be loose and pampered before they put too much pressure on themselves to have the perfect night.

  I would be marking Valentine’s Day because this year I was with Harrison. Actually, it was our first together. But I didn’t care about it as a holiday. Still, I’d never pass up a night with Harrison.

  “Big plans tonight?” Jessica asked when we had a moment to breathe. She had her shoulder-length brown hair pulled back into a low ponytail, which it hadn’t been in earlier, but she did that sometimes when we were busy. It was like she couldn’t stand it falling into her face.

  “I don’t think so. Harrison and I are staying home, but I’m sure he’s planned something.”

  “Does he know that, one, today isn’t Valentine’s Day, and two, Valentine’s Day is a greeting card holiday?”

  I giggled quietly. She and I were like two peas in a pod and that was why she was my best friend. She’d been the one to visit me in Arizona when I’d moved there two years ago and she’d been there for me when my mom had died last year and I’d moved back. She’d also been my cheerleader when I’d wanted to open my own place.

  She was my heterosexual life partner and nothing would break us up.

  “I’m sure he knows all of those things,” I told her. “He has to work tomorrow. V-Day is a super busy day in restaurants.”

  Jessica cocked her head to the side and looked at me as if she didn’t believe my story. But it wasn’t a story. It was the truth. Then she burst into a laugh and brushed me off to go to my next client.

  I’d changed clothes and made myself more attractive than wearing that black scrub-like uniform and a hair bun. I might’ve just been going home, but I wanted to look good for my man.

  I walked into the house, the house where he’d just recently moved his things. He would let his own lease expire next month and found the place just perfect.

  Harrison had the house illuminated with candles; a fire in the fireplace had the house all warm and cozy. I’d hardly used the fireplace, which was weird since I loved the thing. It was gas. Mom had had it switched over years ago, but I’d come home during the oppressive heat of the summer. Even once winter had hit, I hadn’t found the energy to make it happen. Now that he was here, he lit it all the time.

  The place couldn’t have been more perfect and when he’d told me that he’d turned on the heater on the hot tub, he’d hooked me. I knew the night would be perfect.

  Now I found myself looking down on this man that I loved, Harrison Flynn, with my mouth hanging open and totally believing that my ears were deceiving me.

  “Luna,” he said, his voice sounding more concerned than it had before. Of course it would. I hadn’t answered him. “Did you hear me?”

  I slid my gaze slowly up from the ring to look him in the eye. His eyebrows were down just a notch. With worry, with surprise, I didn’t know for sure, but it was probably both. I hadn’t meant to keep him waiting.

  My brain was frozen. I’d heard him, but I didn’t understand exactly what he was saying. We hadn’t been back together long at all.

  This first Christmas without my mom, without any family really, had promised to be the hardest thing I’d done since my mom’s funeral. But then I’d seen Harrison at the restaurant and everything had changed. The time that should’ve been the hardest had turned into the best.

  Having him in my life again had brought me out that funk, but it’d been there brewing underneath. I’d had some sad days and had cried in the bathroom over missing my mom, but I didn’t share that with Harrison. We were still new and while I talked to him about my mom, those moments of sadness were just for me.

  I loved Harrison Flynn, but this was too fast and overwhelming and honestly scary.

  Harrison was great. He was awesome. He was the kind of boyfriend you wanted in your life and I had him. He was mine and I was his, but the idea of marriage? Well, that was enough to knock me off my axis.

  All this worry flooded into my mind. Why was he asking now? What was the rush? Things were going fine the way it was.

  Or so I’d thought anyway.

  I was still there glancing from him to the ring trying to make sense of all the turmoil in my brain and I tried to put it into some sort of order before I said anything that could mess us up forever.

  The bad thing was that the first thing that came to mind wasn’t how very much I loved Harrison.

  Did that mean something? I didn’t think so because I’d been panicking.

  But I’d have to say something eventually.

  Worse than that, I’d have to answer him at some point. Neither thing was very appealing to me at this point.

  5

  Harrison

  She hadn’t said yes.

  In my imagination, I’d ask Luna to marry me and she’d say yes immediately. We’d hug, kiss—she might shed a tear. Eventually, I’d have her naked beneath me.

  It had been a solid plan.

  But here I was still on one knee with a ring in my hand waiting for my girl to give me an answer. Thank goodness I hadn’t planned something public. That would’ve been embarrassing. Now it was only us and nothing that happened between us embarrassed me. I was more worried about what was going through her beautiful head at that moment.

  And why she hadn’t given me the yes I’d been so sure she was going to.

  “Luna?” I asked, prodding her to tell me what she was thinking. Snapping the ring box shut, the sound stark against the quiet romance I’d built within the house, then I pushed up to my full height. Clearly, this wasn’t going to go the way I’d planned. “Talk to me. Tell me what you’re thinking.”

  “I…” She swallowed hard. Her neck strained with the movement. “I just…” Her skin was taking on a pink hue that didn’t quite read as embarrassment. If I had to put a label on it, she looked overwhelmed. Her eyes began to water as she bit her lips together. It was like she couldn’t find the words and if those words included the word no, I didn’t want her to. But I needed her to.

  “Take a deep breath, Luna,” I told her as I stepped into her, shoved the ring in my pocket, and ran my hands up then down her arms in a way that would hopefully comfort her. “But we need to talk about this. I’m sorry this was such a surprise. I thought it’d be a good one.”

  She quickly wiped under her eyes and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry,” she said and it was like a punch in the chest. Not how I’d seen this going.

  “Don’t apologize, but let’s talk.” I moved us over to the couch, where we both took a seat. Luna picked at her fingernails. Something she didn’t do often and only when she was feeling overwhelmed. “What’s going on?”

  “I wasn’t expecting this,” she finally told me, but her eyes still shimmered as if she were about to cry.

  When I’d thought I might see some tears in her eyes I imagined it would be out of happiness. Not whatever this was.

  “That’s the point,” I told her as I slid a hand over her back and gently rubbed up and down. Hopefully, this would help calm her.

  Luna took a deep breath. “Since Christmas, I’ve been a bit sad without my mom.”

  I moved closer to her. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Because I’m so happy to have you back in my life and I didn’t want to bring that down.”

  “Luna, I can’t know what’s going on with you if you don’t tell me.”

  “I know,” she said. She paused. But I waited for her because there was more to this. “So I’ve been feeling a bit overwhelmed. You and I were right back together so fast and I’m so happy about that, but with the spa and you and my mom and now…”

  “This overwhelmed you even more?”

  “Yeah.”

  With one hand still on her back, I ran my thumb over my bottom lip as
I tried to decide how to handle this. Pushing Luna into a decision wasn’t something I intended to do, but damn, did I want her to say yes.

  “Well, let’s talk this out,” I finally told her. “We’ll take it slow.”

  She wiped under her eyes again and took a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to be such a pain.”

  “Baby, no. Stop apologizing.” I rubbed up and down her back quicker. “Let’s start easy. You love me, right?”

  She cocked her head and shook it then gave me a look like she’d just smelled something terrible or that I’d asked the stupidest question there was. “Of course I love you, Harrison. That’s not—”

  “See? That was easy. Luna,” I added softly. “For me, this is forever. Isn’t that what you want? I thought we were on the same page.”

  “I do, Harrison. I do want forever with you.” She took a deep breath. “I was crushed when we broke up. Like seriously crushed. You know that. But are you doing this because you’re afraid we’ll break up again?”

  “No.” I slid my hand down the back of her head where the hair was silky smooth and felt like butter under my fingers. “Of course I’m scared of fucking up and losing you. If you love someone, don’t you worry about losing them?”

  “Yes.”

  “But that’s not what this is, Luna.” I quickly wet my suddenly dry lips. It wasn’t like I was trying to convince her to marry me. This was about weeding through all of the thoughts that were giving her doubt. I had none but had suspected she might so while I hadn’t thought about her not saying yes, I’d known there might be a stumble. Not doubts exactly but concerns. “I’m asking you to marry me because I love you and I want to start that part of our lives together.”

  Luna swallowed hard, her neck muscles tightening and releasing with the effort. I hadn’t anticipated her not immediately saying yes and if no was her answer we’d figure out a way past it. Well, if not yet was her answer, then we would find our way through that rejection. If her answer was truly that she didn’t want to marry me or couldn’t see herself marrying me ever, then we might have bigger problems. But I didn’t think that was where we were right now.

  “You don’t think it’s too soon?” she asked. Her shockingly blue eyes shimmered in the firelight.

  “No,” I told her honestly. “What’s too soon when you know what you want?”

  “What are your parents going to think?”

  “Probably that you’re pregnant.”

  She slapped a hand over her face and groaned. “That’s what everyone is going to think.”

  I snickered at her reaction. She wasn’t exactly wrong. “Do we care about what everyone else is going to think?”

  “No.”

  We never had before, so why start now?

  “So the question remains, Luna. Do you want to marry me?”

  Her hand found the side of my face as her thumb slid over my jaw then over my lips.

  “I’ve always wanted to marry you. I just wasn’t expecting this tonight. I’m sorry for ruining it.”

  I gave her a gentle smile, one that wouldn’t spook her or make me seem like a lunatic.

  “You’ve ruined nothing.” I slid off the couch and back down onto my knee. I leaned back to pull the box with her ring inside back out of my pocket and slowly opened it again. “Luna, I love you more than I ever thought someone could love another person. When my parents talked about how I would just know when the right woman came around, I thought they were crazy. But then I met you. I don’t care about the last two years. I loved you every single day we were apart.” I swallowed hard. The thought of being rejected a second time was truly unappealing, though she hadn’t actually said no. “Will you marry me?”

  “Yes,” she said, quickly this time. The smile that was plastered on her face showed that she meant it. It wasn’t fake or forced. It was genuine.

  Luna leaped from the couch and wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, knocking me and her both to the floor. I took the brunt of the fall and the fact that her body was lying on top of mine, touching me in as many places as was possible, made everything else fade away.

  “Yes, yes, yes,” she said as she dropped a kiss between each word.

  Then her lips found mine. My hand snaked up into her impossibly long hair at the nape of her neck so that I could keep her right there with me.

  I pushed my tongue into her mouth to taste her. She tasted of the wine we’d been drinking and Luna. Luna had her own distinct taste. She groaned into my mouth as my erection grew against her stomach. I could get lost in this girl if I let myself and there was nothing I’d ever wanted permission for more in my life.

  Before we went any further, I ended the kiss but didn’t let her get away. Her brows dropped as if she couldn’t understand what I was doing. But I wanted that ring on her finger.

  “I need to give you this,” I told her.

  After pulling the ring out of its holder, she splayed her fingers in front of me so that I could slip the ring in its rightful place. It fit her perfectly and she held it out in front of her as if she hadn’t seen it when it was in the box.

  “You’ve always said you don’t like diamonds.”

  She nodded. “But—”

  “No. No. Those aren’t diamonds. The center stone is a sapphire, and I made sure to research how they’re mined or made, and as far as I can tell, they’re ethically sourced. And the stones around it aren’t diamonds.”

  “They look like diamonds and it’s perfect if they are. I’m not going to complain about this beautiful ring.”

  “I know.” I smiled at her and squeezed her hips. “But they aren’t. They’re crystals and I made sure the person I worked with on this knew I needed something that didn’t involve blood diamonds or anything like them.”

  “Really?” Her eyes began shimmering again. Luna wasn’t a crier and the mere fact that her eyes were watering said a lot.

  “Really. So it’s a square cut sapphire surrounded by the best, I’m told, crystals possible.”

  “Harrison, you’re amazing.” She kissed me again. “You went to all that extra trouble for me.”

  “You’re worth it, but seriously. The guy in Oregon assured me that you’d love it and by the looks of it, you do.”

  “I do.” She kissed my cheek. “I do.” Then my forehead. “I do.” Then my lips. “Knowing that you remembered those things means the world to me.”

  “I remember everything about you, Luna.”

  Her eyebrows scrunched down together and she pushed herself off me. After she settled on the floor facing me, I moved the same way.

  My mouth was suddenly dry and my skin itchy looking at her. Her face told me a lot and right now it was telling me that something was on her mind. She’s already said yes. That didn’t mean she wouldn’t still have worries. Worries I’d do my very best to wipe away.

  “What?” I asked.

  “You said the guy in Oregon.”

  Oh, right. “I did.”

  What Luna hadn’t known, even back then, was that I’d planned on asking her to marry me when I got back from sommelier school. I’d known then that she was the one for me. If things had gone as planned then, we would’ve been married all this time and maybe had a kid or possibly one on the way.

  Though we hadn’t talked about having kids specifically. In the general sense, we both wanted them eventually. I’d learned that on one of our many, many late-night talks after we started dating the first time.

  “You’re saying you bought this in Oregon?” She looked up at me through her lashes but still held her fingers out in front of her so the ring was centered between us.

  “I did.”

  Her mouth opened then closed like a fish as if she wanted to say something but wasn’t sure what to say.

  “Let me explain.” I reached over and pulled her closer to me until our knees were touching. “Before I left, I knew I wanted to marry you, but it wasn’t time. The more I missed you in Oregon, the more I knew I had to ask when
I got home. Or if either of us had time for a visit. It would’ve happened then.”

  “But it didn’t,” she said sadly.

  “It didn’t. But in the third week, I was walking around Seattle before class and found this tiny mom and pop jewelry store. This ring was in the window and I knew if the gems checked out that this would be your ring.”

  “And they did.”

  “They did. I bought it that day and have had it ever since.”

  “You kept it for two years not knowing if you’d ever see me again.”

  I chuckled, but it wasn’t with humor. “I figured I’d see you again. I’d always thought that since I hadn’t seen you, even when you should’ve been home for the holidays, it meant you were avoiding me. Like you didn’t want to chance seeing me.”

  Luna glanced up at me shyly. “I did. Avoid seeing you. I came home to visit my mom a few times a year but always, always stayed around home. Jessica would come to me. We didn’t go out.”

  “But I figured that wouldn’t last forever. I felt pretty certain that I’d see you eventually. I didn’t think we’d ever get back together because I assumed you were living a great life in Arizona and maybe had decided not to move back after all once we broke up.”

  She nodded. “You know I always planned to come back but after we… broke up, I wasn’t so sure about that. Deep down, I still wanted to be here and was so glad when it took me longer to save up the money. Yet before I could decide it was time on my own, Mom died.” She took a heavy breath like all of this was hard for her to admit. “But the ring…”

  “I couldn’t get rid of it. I couldn’t sell it. Someone else couldn’t wear it because it was yours.”

  This time, she couldn’t stop the tears from falling. She wasn’t crying exactly. It was more that they couldn’t be contained and silently ran down each of her cheeks but the tears made her sapphire blue eyes sparkle even more.

  That was why I’d gone with thatparticular sapphire. It’d reminded me of her eyes.