All of Me: A Holiday Bites Novel

by Heather Young-Nichols

“Language, boys,” Mom’s voice called out into the cold morning. She was at the front door and now I had to worry about how much she’d heard.

  “Sorry,” I said through clenched teeth, but I never took my eyes off my brother.

  “Do either of you want some hot chocolate?” she asked, pulling her sweater tighter around her shoulders.

  “No thanks,” we said at the same time. I added, “We both brought coffee.”

  “OK. If you change your mind, I’m happy to make some.” She turned to go back inside, then thought better of it. “Say goodbye before you leave.”

  “We will,” I assured her. We never left without saying goodbye, or at least I didn’t. I wasn’t always there when Killian was. Yet she always felt the need to remind us.

  Once she was inside and the door closed tightly, I raised an eyebrow at my brother and waited. This was on him to explain himself before I laid down a verbal lashing. We’d never had a real physical fight in our lives and I wasn’t going to change that because of his shitty attitude.

  “Fine.” He sighed. “You were fucking crying two months ago.”

  I shook my head. “No, I wasn’t.” Had I shed tears once I’d realized that Luna and I were done? Maybe. But two months ago, I hadn’t been crying about anything.

  Two months ago, I’d still missed Luna. Two months ago, I’d still longed to touch her. But two months ago, I’d already had sex with other people and had been doing my best to live my life without her. Not wanting a relationship didn’t mean I’d still been sulking.

  I just hadn’t been ready for someone who wasn’t her.

  “That could be an exaggeration,” he admitted. “But that girl crushed you. She moved away and didn’t look back when she’d said she’d wait for you. You expect me to be happy about you throwing yourself at her the minute she’s back? Have some balls, man. I mean, at least it’ll be like a year before you get married, right?”

  Every muscle in my body tensed and if he hadn’t been my brother, I might’ve gotten into his personal space. But he was and I wasn’t going to take it there. What I would do was make it clear that if he wasn’t fully behind Luna and me, that was his problem and he’d have to deal with it. And the fucker better not try to make me choose because I’d choose her every single time.

  “A month.”

  His head snapped up. “What?”

  “We want to be married within the month. The sooner, the better.”

  “Fucking what?” It was like I could see the possible answers running through his head. “Fuck. She’s pregnant? You don’t have to marry her just because she’s pregnant. It’s not the 1950s anymore.”

  “Shut the fuck up. No, Luna isn’t pregnant. I love her and want her to be my wife. I wanted you to be my best man, but that might be a bad idea, right?”

  “No,” he snapped. “Of course I’ll be your best man. Just because I think you’re making a mistake doesn’t mean I won’t stand by your side while you do it. But go slow, man. You don’t need to lock it down because you’re afraid it isn’t going to work. Actually, that’s a reason not to lock it down.”

  Damn. Both of the things he’d said were things Luna had worried about. If nothing else, telling Killian now was better so he could get this bullshit out of his system and have a better reaction at dinner when she was there with me.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” I asked him. “I’m not locking anything down. Maybe if you cared more about another person than you do your shoes, you might understand. But until then, keep your fucking mouth shut until we tell Mom and Dad tonight. I don’t want them hearing it from someone else. Got it?”

  “Yeah, yeah. Got it.”

  “And Killian,” I called out as he turned to go back to the snowblower. “You seem to like to remind me that Luna left Lake Shores and me but fucking remember that I left first. She’s isn’t the bad guy in that part of our story.”

  He nodded but it wasn’t in agreement. “I know. But I also know that she agreed to it and said she’d wait for you to get back.”

  “No. She didn’t.” His eyebrow shot up to question me. “Yes, she agreed to it but I didn’t give her much of a choice and I never expected her to put her life on hold for me.” Then I shrugged. May as well be honest with him. “We both could’ve done better.”

  Killian and I finished clearing the snow without another break. Good. I had nothing more to say to that asshole right now anyway. My anger at him hadn’t settled by the time we both left.

  On my way home, I decided to give Beckham a call. Beck had been my best friend for years and I knew he’d have a better reaction than my brother had. Even though Beck had seen more of the bad side of the breakup than Killian had. But I needed that good reaction right now.

  “What’s up?” Beckham asked as a greeting.

  “Got some news,” I told him, not wanting to beat around the bush. I had some things I wanted to get done around the house before Luna got home.

  Though that made my thoughts wander to wishing she was at home warm in bed and waiting for me when I got there. Damn, this woman had me all wrapped up in her.

  “What’s that?”

  “I asked Luna to marry me Friday night.”

  “Seriously?” His seriously was more excited than Killian’s. His seriously didn’t bother me at all. “I mean, I knew you were going to do it, but you didn’t tell me when. And?”

  “She said yes.”

  “That’s awesome, brother.” We had called each other brother for years. “I’d hug you, but it’s kind of hard over the phone.”

  I chuckled. “Yeah, it is. I’ll pretend you did.”

  “Was she surprised? Tell me about it.”

  “She was.” I proceeded to tell Beck about the proposal up to the point of Luna and me getting naked.

  See, Beck was the opposite of Killian. He hadn’t really taken a side in the breakup. He’d been there for me. Gotten drunk with me. Encouraged me to drown myself in other women, though I hadn’t, really, nor had I wanted to. But he didn’t hold a grudge against Luna or if he did, he hid it well.

  Killian’s grudge wasn’t warranted at all. He made assumptions about our relationship and maybe when I’d been hurt and angry I hadn’t corrected them. Not that I did every time he said something, he thought I was glossing over the past because we were back together.

  In reality, I just now saw things more clearly.

  When I’d asked him why he didn’t badmouth her, he’d said that he couldn’t even if he’d wanted to because if we ever got back together, he’d be in the doghouse.

  “I knew she was the girl for you,” he said, bringing me out of my memories as I pulled into the driveway.

  “Me too. You should explain that to Killian.”

  “Ah. He didn’t take it well.”

  “That would be correct.”

  “Fucking idiot.”

  We laughed together at my brother’s expense. “I asked him to be my best man and he said yes, but you’re on backup in case he fucks it up with his mouth.”

  “I’ve got you, but hey, I gotta get back to work.”

  We ended the call and went about our lives.

  Beckham, I could always rely on, but Killian was making me start to doubt him. I supposed the real test would be at dinner tonight.

  8

  Luna

  Monday morning, even with the snow, promised to be a super busy day at work. Thankfully, I had Jessica to keep the train running smoothly and had hired someone for the entire season to plow the parking lot next to the spa.

  I’d been thinking about adjusting my schedule so that I always had Mondays off. I could work a weekend day so that Harrison and I would have one of the same days off each week. So far, it hadn’t worked out, but I was working on it. I needed to hire someone with more Monday availability. Weekends were the busiest of course but our traffic stayed pretty constant.

  Or maybe I’d put a companywide email out to see who’d want to take Mondays and have a weekend day off. Though t
he tips were fantastic on the weekends and most probably wouldn’t want to give up the shifts, there could be someone that did.

  “Hey, Luna.” Jessica greeted me in the break room, where I went for a bottle of water and to put my salad in the refrigerator for lunch.

  “Hey, Jess. How was your weekend?” Normally, Jessica and I would’ve been texting the entire weekend, but she’d been going away for Valentine’s Day with her latest… well, not boyfriend. A guy she’d been dating and who’d wanted to take her away overnight for Valentine’s Day. He was wooing her.

  I’d spent the weekend while Harrison was working freaking out on the inside and admiring my beautiful ring. It had been so hard not to call Jessica but I hadn’t wanted to interrupt her.

  “Ugh.” Her groan told me more than probably any words would. “It was fine at first, but he was getting real weird. Anyway, I ended up having my brother come get me Saturday night.”

  “Wow. Really?”

  “Fuck that guy. I’m done dating. At least done dating men. Maybe I should give women a try.”

  We both giggled on the way to my office. There wasn’t anyone around, so I didn’t worry about us being overheard.

  “What do you mean by weird?”

  She cocked her head to the side and narrowed her eyes. “The kind of weird you’re probably thinking about. Let’s just say there was leather and clamps involved.”

  My eyes grew wide and my mouth fell open. Jess was open to a lot of things, but the BDSM world wasn’t something she’d ever expressed interest in.

  “What made him think you’d be into that?”

  She threw her hands in the air. “Fuck if I know. I have to get back up front, but how was Friday night? I bet Harrison did something super romantic that didn’t involve a flogger.”

  I snorted. She wasn’t wrong. Instead of telling her, I held up my left hand, where the most beautiful ring in the world sat on my ring finger.

  “OH MY GOD!” She yelled so loudly, it made me flinch and I knew that every person in the place had heard her.

  “Jess, shh.”

  “Sorry.” Then she glanced from me to the ring and said, “No, I’m not.” We both giggled. Once we settled down, she gave me a knowing look. “How did it go? Tell me everything.”

  I took a deep breath. We only had a few minutes.

  “I freaked out a bit.”

  “What? Why?”

  I took a deep breath. This was kind of embarrassing to talk about. Bad enough it had happened in front of Harrison.

  “I wasn’t expecting it. That’s all,” I told her honestly. “It was overwhelming.”

  She narrowed her eyes on me. “You’re kidding, right?”

  I shook my head. “And we don’t really have time to go into all of this right now, but yeah. We haven’t been back together very long and it just… I didn’t want him to be asking me to marry him because he was afraid we’d break up again and not because he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me.”

  “Jesus, Luna.” Why she was looking at me like she was disappointed, I had no idea. “That man has been in love with you since he met you.”

  “I know,” I snapped, then I regretted it. “Look. Can we talk at lunch?”

  “Count on it.” She shrugged. “At least I know you said yes, but I want the details. See you at twelve-thirty.”

  Jess walked away from me and headed for the front desk, where she was the queen bee. I followed if nothing more than to get my sheet for the day. It was a list of my clients and what their appointments were for just so I could stay on track. Then it was time to get the day started.

  I had more appointments with the wives of men who were skiing today than I’d had in a long time. Maybe they were ending their Valentine’s Day vacations, I didn’t know. It was like this in the summer as well. There were a lot of primo golf courses in the area. Men would come up to golf with their buddies and the women would come to the spa.

  It worked well for me and this would help keep me busy all year long.

  Finally, with my stomach growing, I was headed for the break room and the salad that I’d been thinking about for the last hour. Most of the time, the salad wouldn’t be so tempting, but I was hungry as hell today.

  That was where I was when Jess joined me a few minutes later. I didn’t even wait for her to start eating. I was too hungry.

  She pulled her salad out of the fridge and settled at the table across from me. It was a small table that sat four people. For now, it was just the two of us in the room and it’d likely stay that way. A lot of the staff tended to go out for lunch even if it was only to quickly grab something, but Jess and I typically only took half an hour for lunch and that wasn’t enough time to go out.

  “OK. Spill.” She popped the top of her bowl and drizzled the ranch dressing down over her salad. Then she took a big forkful into her mouth.

  “Well, as I said, I had a little freak-out and Harrison thought that meant I didn’t want to marry him.”

  “Oh my god.”

  “Right?” I took another bite and didn’t continue until I finished chewing. “He had the house set up so amazingly. There were candles and he’d started a fire. He had wine, of course.”

  “Of course.”

  “And he’d made up a charcuterie board, so it wasn’t a heavy dinner and I don’t know, I think that just made it even more romantic.”

  “Damn. He makes most other guys not look so good. I get a fucking flogger and you get a charcuterie board and a crackling fire.”

  I giggled behind my fork just so the lettuce didn’t shoot out of my mouth. “Yeah. I’ll ask him where the flogger was tonight.”

  She snorted. “Please do and text me his answer. Or better yet, record it and send me the video.”

  The two of us were so ridiculous together.

  “But as he does, Harrison talked me through it. I told him that I’m still sad about my mom and I’ve had some moments. Then he lectured me on how he can’t know what’s going on if I don’t tell him.”

  “All true.”

  “Obviously, I said yes and we’re telling his family tonight.”

  “Excellent.” She twisted the top off her water bottle. “But I’m still curious how you didn’t see this coming.”

  “Jessica! We’ve only been back together again a few weeks and he just moved into my house. I figured we’d get married. I just didn’t know he was going to ask on Friday. There is something else, though.”

  She leaned across the table as if the two of us were conspirators in some master plan. “Ooh. Do tell.”

  “He bought this ring in Oregon.”

  Her bottom lip jutted out as she sat back into her seat. “Are you serious?” I nodded. That was what he’d told me. “Poor Harrison. He’s been pining for you all this time.”

  I rolled my eyes so hard that I almost saw into my brain. “I wouldn’t go that far. He’s been with other women since me.”

  She cocked her head to the side. “Want me to call him an asshole instead?”

  I chuckled at the idea. “No. He had the right. We weren’t together.”

  “Well, let me know how tonight goes. I’m sure his parents will be crazy happy.”

  I think they will.

  “One more thing,” I added as we continued to work our way through our lunches. “We’re going to get married quickly. Like within the month, though we haven’t really decided on the day.”

  “I can do that. I have no plans that I know of anytime soon.”

  “I need you to be my maid of honor.”

  “Duh. Of course. I’ll help with everything that needs to be done.”

  “Thank you. Without my mom…”

  She reached a handout to cover mine. “I get it. I’m here for you, baby.” We both fell into a fit of laughter thanks to her.

  At least having Jessica by my side would make me feel less alone. Less like I had no one in the world besides Harrison. And I knew his mom would offer herself up because that was the kind of
person she was. She’d want to be there for me in ways my own mother couldn’t be.

  “He said he’d walk me down the aisle.”

  “Who? Killian?”

  I scrunched up my face in disgust. “Why would you think I’m talking about him? I don’t think he’s going to be very happy about this situation.”

  “Who are you talking about then?”

  “Harrison. I told him that I’m sad I don’t have anybody to walk me down the aisle. My dad’s been gone so long that I always knew he’d never be an option. So I figured…”

  “That your mom would be the one?” she asked. I nodded, not trusting my voice right then. “Dude let him or hell, I’ll do it. We will figure it all out. I promise. Harrison and I aren’t going to leave you flapping in the wind. We love you.” I smiled at her because it was nice to know I had people on my side. “I can’t wait to go dress shopping.”

  Of course, she’d think of shopping first.

  9

  Harrison

  After taking care of everything I’d wanted to at the house, I ran to the grocery store because it looked like we were out of some of our favorite things. Then it was time to wait for Luna to get home from work so we could go to my parents’ for dinner and tell them the best news of my life. Even if Killian came, I thought I’d made myself perfectly clear that he should keep his mouth shut on anything other than being incredibly happy for me and my girl.

  Luna Love. The girl I’d met by chance years ago and whom I’d lost then found again. It was like the universe really did want us together and so did I.

  It’d been so hard when she’d been in Arizona. I’d wanted to go to her so many times and had decided not to. I hadn’t wanted to turn her life upside down. Then when I would see Jessica, I’d never asked about Luna a single time.

  None of that would ever happen again.

  Luna got home around five-thirty and quickly changed. We weren’t a fancy family and since I was in jeans and a thin black sweater, Luna came back downstairs in skinny jeans, a thin white sweater, and those tall boots she liked to wear in the winter.