All of Me: A Holiday Bites Novel

by Heather Young-Nichols

  Killian agreed to meet me Saturday morning, which gave me plenty of time to find something appropriate to wear for the wedding. I had a feeling this would be my favorite suit. Luna was going shopping for her dress this afternoon with Jessica and my mom. I’d set up my surprise for the women and the bridal shop’s manager was more than happy to help me out. She even said she loved the romantic gestures.

  It wasn’t a romantic gesture at all. I just wanted the women relaxed and ready to have some fun. But I also assumed most women liked shopping for this kind of thing.

  “I can’t believe you got me up this early to try on suits,” Killian said when I approached him leaning on his car in front of the store. He had sunglasses down over his eyes and a to-go cup of what was probably coffee in his hand. He looked like he’d just rolled out of bed in enough time to get here which was probably an accurate picture of what happened this morning.

  “It’s ten o’clock.”

  “Like I said.”

  I snorted as we headed inside. He dropped the cup in the trash can by the front door as we passed it.

  “Late night?” I asked.

  “Not that late.”

  “Too much tequila?” I ventured. My brother’s drink of choice if he was doing shots and he didn’t usually get drunk off beer. He didn’t get drunk often yet I knew he had last night.

  “Something like that.” He fingered through some suitcoats. “What the fuck are we looking for?”

  “Dark gray suit. Luna thinks that will go with whatever she chooses.”

  “What Luna wants, Luna gets,” he muttered as if I wouldn’t hear him.

  I chose to ignore it for a few reasons. The first being he wasn’t wrong. This was Luna’s wedding. Yeah, it was mine too, but I’d already gotten everything I wanted when she’d said yes. If she wanted us in gray suits, we’d be in gray suits. It wasn’t like she’d turned into a bridezilla. She was asking for bare minimum things. Which was why I decided to surprise her for the honeymoon. She’d want something small and not too expensive and I didn’t want her worrying about the cost.

  The second reason I ignored his comment was that I didn’t want to get into this with him in this public place where we were buying suits for my wedding.

  “What can we help you with today?” An older man with cropped hair, maybe in his fifties, dressed in a nice suit approached us.

  “We’re looking for dark gray suits for my wedding.”

  “Congratulations,” he said. “Anything in particular that you’d like?”

  “Not really. She said dark gray, so that’s the only requirement.”

  The man chuckled. That was when I noticed his name tag that read Gregory. “Perfect. Let’s get some measurements and we’ll get started.”

  He called someone else over to help us and after they measured our shoulders and chests and inseams, they went to pick things out.

  We each tried on the first one, but Killian said they were such a tight fit, and it wasn’t the size, it was something Gregory called “skinny fit” so that everyone at the wedding would know exactly what the bride was getting.

  That was a no go.

  After the third one that didn’t work, the staff went looking for a specific suit they thought would fit us both perfectly, maybe with some minor alterations.

  While we waited, Killian said, “This sure is moving fast.”

  “Is that sarcasm?” I asked because we’d been here an hour already. I didn’t think it’d taken me this long to shop ever.

  “The engagement. It’s moving fast and Luna said that was your doing.”

  I turned to him, my jaw tight. “You talked to Luna?”

  “At dinner on Monday. She’s going to be my sister-in-law. Am I not allowed to speak to her?”

  “What did you say?”

  He held his hands up. “Nothing. Scout’s honor. We just chatted. She said the timeline was your doing.”

  “It was.”

  He looked away. “As long as you’re sure about this, man.”

  I turned to him with my hands on my hips covered by very silky pants. “I’m so sure about her, Killian, that I turned down a chance to study in France for my master sommelier certification.”

  “Why the fuck would you do that?”

  “Luna is more important.”

  “Are you serious right now, Harrison? This is what you want, isn’t it?”

  I shrugged. “I can do it from here.”

  “It’ll take longer.”

  He wasn’t wrong. Going to France would’ve meant skipping like a year in the training and yeah, that would’ve made a huge difference, but it wasn’t worth it.

  “It will, but she’s here and I just bought the winery. It’s a terrible time to go.”

  Killian scratched under the growth on his chin. He’d obviously woken up late, so I probably should’ve been glad he’d even made it here on time.

  “I can’t believe you turned down that kind of opportunity. That shit is your dream.”

  “That shit will still happen if I go or not.”

  He shook his head. “I’ve never pretended to understand your love of wine and wanting to be a sommelier, but I’ve supported it. I came to see you in Oregon. I supported and encouraged you. And you’re going to throw it all away for a girl?”

  His fists opened and closed the way they did when he was really angry. Killian had gotten into a lot of fights when we’d been teenagers. He’d been the troublemaker in the family. That had died down as he’d gotten older, but he’d gotten into a fight just last year. As a twenty-eight-year-old man, you’d think he would’ve gotten past that phase.

  “Killian, I don’t know how many times I have to tell you that Luna is my dream. I’ll still do the rest of it, but I’ll do it with her by my side. If she can’t go to France, I can’t go to France.”

  Gregory came back with a suit for each of us. After we both took them from his hands, Killian turned to me.

  “So you can’t be away from her at all? That’s not healthy, man.”

  This guy was seriously starting to pick at my last nerve.

  “It’s not that I can’t go without her. It’s that I don’t want to. And we aren’t talking a single night here, Killian. We’re talking four to six months. It’s not the same thing and if you’d ever fallen in love or given a fuck about anyone but yourself, you’d understand.”

  That didn’t go over well. This darkness raced through his eyes when he said, “Ever give a fuck about someone else? I’ve given a fuck about you my whole life. I’m here, aren’t I?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. You are. But you sure as hell don’t seem to want to be.” I took a step closer to him. “Is that it? You don’t want to be my best man? You can say it and I’ll make other arrangements.”

  Killian glanced away from me and wrapped his arms over his chest. We were roughly the same size, though I outweighed him and was slightly taller. We both had more muscle, but I had somewhat more bulk. He worked with his hands, which gave him a different kind of strength.

  “Nope. If you insist on fucking up your life, I’ll stand next to you when you do.” He stepped closer. “You’re too young to get married. You haven’t been back with her long and she ran instead of supporting you the way someone who loves you would. But I’ll also be there when it all goes to shit again.”

  “Won’t happen.”

  “We’ll see.”

  “And I’ve fucking told you, it wasn’t all on her. I don’t know why you insist on blaming her instead of me.”

  “Because she agreed to it then broke your heart.”

  “That’s… you should probably worry about your own love life and not mine.”

  This was a terrible place to have this kind of conversation. All of the employees around us heard every word of it, but I didn’t give a shit if the employees overheard us as in knew our business but I didn’t want them to be uncomfortable.

  After giving them a nod of apology, I went into my dressing room to try on this last su
it. Thank fuck it fit because I didn’t think I could be there with Killian much longer.

  14

  Luna

  Harrison had to leave earlier than me on Saturday morning to meet his brother to pick out suits. I’d told Jessica and Shannon, Harrison’s mom, that I’d pick them up around one. There was no sense in the three of us each driving separately, especially since we weren’t staying in town.

  With any luck, we’d find my dress as well as something for Jessica as maid of honor. Either way, we were going to keep it somewhat casual. I wanted a pretty dress, but maybe not the big white one that would make me look like a cupcake.

  Jessica hopped into the backseat when I stopped at her apartment first so that Shannon could sit upfront. I told her that was a nice thing to do.

  It was going to take about thirty minutes to get to the shop and at first, we chatted about our days. We talked a bit about the spa and Shannon told us about her work. When we were already halfway there, that was when the wedding talk started.

  “Harrison said you’re getting married at the winery?” Shannon said.

  “Yeah. I thought it would be perfect.”

  She nodded. “I think that means a lot to him.”

  “Well, he means a lot to me.” That was the understatement of the year but I only wanted to be so open with his mother. She’s his mother. All she needed to know was that I loved him with my whole heart. After that, it was for Harrison and me.

  “We picked out invitations the other day,” Jess offered up. “They should have gone out yesterday. We found a printer that would address the labels and everything and wanted to get them in the mail ASAP because of how soon it is.”

  “It’s not like the list was long,” I told her.

  “Right. Only about what? Thirty people in total?”

  “Something like that.” I switched lanes to get out of the way of a car coming up behind me. Which was going far too fast, I might add and I wasn’t going to be the one to slow him down.

  “I know we talked about it a little, but have you thought more about what you’re looking for?” Shannon asked.

  “I’ve been thinking about that,” I told her. “I don’t want something super traditional. The big white wedding dress isn’t my thing. So at least a little color, like I said before. It can be long, but I definitely don’t want a train.”

  “And no veil,” Jessica reminded me.

  “Right. I just want to have my hair down or a little can be pulled back. Something whimsical.”

  Putting my hair up would never be an option for me. I used buns for work but I’d grown it so long that for something as special as my wedding, I’d want it down and flowy. I wanted Harrison to think about tangling his hand in from the get-go.

  “I think that’s the perfect word to describe the wedding,” Shannon agreed.

  We’d arrived at our destination and it took a minute to find a parking space, but once we had, we were on our way.

  Nervous butterflies swarmed my stomach. This was too grown-up to be my life, honestly. Sure, I owned a business and lived with my boyfriend, but getting married? That was super grown-up stuff. Being here also made it all too real and I tried to ignore the obvious absence of my mother.

  “Hello.” A tall, thin woman greeted us. Half of her super dark brown hair was pulled back in a clip and she had a great smile as she met us. “Welcome to Natalie’s Bridal. I’m Dana, do you have an appointment?”

  “I-I do,” I said, tripping over my words. “Luna Love.”

  “Oh, right. You’re mine today. Come this way.” She waved the three of us forward. “As soon as I saw your name on our list, I knew I wouldn’t forget it.”

  “Yeah. It’s… unique.” I told her that rather than my parents wanted me to be a stripper which was the usual joke I made.

  She led the three of us away from the front door and around the desk. It opened up into a world of white tulle, satin, and beads. After we took our coats off and set them on the small couch outside of what looked like dressing rooms, as Dana had told us to, we got down to business.

  I told her what I was looking for. It could be traditional but didn’t need to be. I wanted at least a splash of color. Oh, and no train.

  She nodded as she listened to me and once I was finished, she said, “I think we can find something you’ll love.”

  “My maid of honor could also use a dress if that doesn’t go against your appointment policy.”

  Dana gave me a wide smile. “Of course it doesn’t. We’ll get you both taken care of. Is it just the two of you in the wedding party?” I nodded. “Perfect. I do have a surprise for you before we get started.” She nodded her head at someone over my shoulder.

  A younger woman, maybe about my age, appeared carrying a tray that held three flutes of champagne. I could tell by the bubbles.

  “What’s this?” I asked, trying to keep myself from grinning like a fool. I’d seen movies where bridal shops did this, offering you champagne as you shop, but I hadn’t considered this place would be one of them. I’d always thought that was a made-up thing for movies.

  “The groom delivered this for you this morning. He was very specific in how he wanted it served.”

  Of course he was. My heart ticked up and my eyes burned. With all the tears of sadness I’d cried in the last year, these weren’t that. This was so sweet of him to think of. To try to make this day even more special.

  “Harrison did this?”

  Dana smiled and nodded. “He did. I met him bright and early this morning. There’s more if you’d like a refill.”

  Personally, I wouldn’t need that. I’d have this one glass and that’d be it but if Shannon or Jess wanted to chug the whole bottle, they could. I was driving anyway.

  I took one of the glasses then Jess took another. Shannon hesitated but said, “What the hell. This is a special occasion.”

  “He also let you a note.” Dana slid an envelope off the tray.

  I bit my lips together as I opened it—awkwardly—given that I had the glass in my hand.

  Luna, I just wanted to make this day a little extra special for you. I know you’re probably missing your mom a lot right now and I can’t physically be there with you, but I wanted you to know I’m always thinking of you. Soon, I’ll be waiting for you to come down the aisle in the amazing dress you find today. For today, I’ll be waiting to get you home and naked. Love, Harrison

  A laugh snorted out at me.

  “What’s it say?” Jessica asked.

  I choked back the tears that had been forming and quickly shoved the note back in its envelope.

  “Nothing you want to read,” I told her, mostly honestly.

  “It’s got to be something. You were about to cry and then you laughed.”

  I glanced from her to Shannon and shook my head. “It was just really sweet. He said that he knows I’m missing my mom today and wishes he could be here.”

  “Aww,” Jessica said while her face softened. I’d leave out the naked part for Shannon’s sake. A mom didn’t need to have confirmation of her son’s dirty thoughts.

  “That’s Harrison, all right,” Shannon said, wiping a tear from under her eye. She hadn’t even read it yet was moved just the same. “He’s always been the sweetest boy. I used to worry he’d lose that as he became a man, but somehow, he found a way to keep it.”

  “He really has,” I agreed. “And I am missing my mom today, but I’m really glad you two are here with me.”

  They moved in and wrapped me up into an impromptu group hug just as Dana came out with a few dress choices.

  She hung them in one of the rooms and after I stepped inside, she closed the curtain behind us. The dressing room was large. It’d have to be to accommodate the huge ballgown-style dresses I’d seen on a few of the mannequins upfront. But these weren’t those. Given the curtain, I could still hear Jess and Shannon talking as well as respond.

  “What else about Harrison?” Jess asked.

  “What do you mean?�
�� Shannon sounded a bit confused.

  “You said he’s always been sweet. What else has he always been? I didn’t know him growing up because he went to Beckett High School, I think.”

  “He did. He didn’t go to Lake Shores because the boundary is about a mile down the road from us. Always seemed kind of dumb. We were closer to Lake Shores High School, but he had to go to the other.” A moment of silence hung in the air before she continued talking. “He’s always been really outgoing. One to take on the world head-on.”

  “Makes sense,” Jess agreed. “He bought that winery and still works at the restaurant.”

  “Exactly. He was a go-getter as well,” Shannon said. Suddenly, I was overcome with the feeling that I was eavesdropping on their conversation, but they knew I could hear them. “He’s always had big dreams and plans.”

  Dana pulled the curtain back to reveal me in the first dress. It was white, but the lace overlay was embroidered with beautifully-colored flowers. The plunge neckline might’ve been a little too much for a winter wedding. It went halfway to my belly button. I wasn’t sure Harrison would love me wearing this in front of everyone else.

  “I’m so proud of him,” Shannon added after looking me over.

  Both of their eyes were shimmering in the bright light of the shop.

  “If either of you cries, I will too,” I warned them. “So stop it.”

  That brought on a fit of laughter. Even Dana snickered from beside me. But I’d spent too much over the last year crying or being sad that I didn’t want to continue that today. Today was for being happy and we all had to keep in line for that to work.

  She led me over to the pedestal, where I stepped up into an area where mirrors surrounded me. Shannon and Jess were right there with me.

  “What do you think?” Jess asked.

  “It’s really pretty,” I told her. It was. This might’ve been my choice if we were getting married in the summer. Though I should probably try on more than one.

  “But?” Shannon prodded.

  “But I don’t think it’s quite right for what we’re going for.” They were both nodding before I finished speaking. I turned to Dana. “This is a great dress. I just don’t think it’s right.”