Lily Steps Up

by Judi Curtin

  Before I could answer, she opened the locket and I leaned closer to see.

  ‘It’s a tiny lock of hair from each of the babies,’ she said. ‘All tied together with a silk thread. It is very special to me.’

  I sighed. What my mam would give to be a fine lady, with a real gold locket and a special place to keep a few hairs from each of her babies’ heads. She would wear it every single moment, and never wish for another necklace in all her days.

  ‘The locket is beautiful, Lady Mary,’ I said. ‘I think you should wear it.’

  ‘Then I will,’ she said, and she turned so I could fasten it behind her neck.

  I couldn’t help feeling very important as I helped her to choose between a grey satin wrap and a soft blue wool one. Then she sat at her dressing table and I stood with my hands clasped together, and won­dered what I was supposed to do next.

  Lady Mary took out a number of rings, and held them in her hand, deciding which to wear. Being rich seemed to involve a lot of decisions that never both­ered the likes of me.

  ‘How is Nellie doing?’ she asked, as she put on a gold ring with a huge ruby-red stone.

  ‘I think she is sad – but with Nellie, it isn’t easy to tell.’

  ‘Poor girl. If there is anything I can do, please let me know.’

  ‘You have given her a good job, and a warm bed to sleep in every night. After that I don’t think there’s anything … oh, Lady Mary, I wish I could do some­thing to help her.’

  ‘You are a good friend to Nellie,’ she said, smiling. ‘That must be a big comfort to her – and sometimes that is all you can do. Just listen to her, and be kind.’

  Lady Mary was so gentle and wise, and I knew she was right. Still, I wasn’t happy. Doing nothing made me feel so helpless.

  ‘Well then,’ she said, standing up and straighten­ing her dress. ‘I think I am ready. Thank you for your help, Lily.’

  She picked up her beaded silk evening bag, and as she did, a few small coins fell to the floor. I knelt and picked up the coins, and handed them to her, feeling embarrassed as my coarse, work-worn hands touched Lady Mary’s soft, white skin.

  ‘Oh dear,’ she said. ‘My favourite bag is ripped. It used to belong to my mother, and I love it so.’

  ‘May I see?’

  I took the bag from her and examined where the silk had worn away on one side.

  ‘I think I might be able to mend this,’ I said.

  ‘If you’re sure?’

  I didn’t want to make any promises, so I nodded my head and stood there awkwardly, not knowing if I should stay or go.

  ‘You may leave, Lily,’ she said. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘And what about tomorrow? Mrs Bailey told me the things a lady’s maid is supposed to do – and I think I could manage them all.’

  She smiled. ‘I’m sure you could manage very well, but for now I think it best if you only help me to dress in the evenings. The rest of the time Mrs Bailey will need you to do your usual work with Nellie.’

  I was disappointed. I had liked the idea of helping with Lady Mary’s clothes and jewellery. I liked the idea of spending more time with this kind, elegant woman. But at Lissadell, no one ever asked me what I wanted to do, so I thanked her politely and went back to my real life.

  * * *

  The next morning, I heard all the fuss as Countess Markievicz arrived with her little dog, Poppet. I couldn’t see them though, as I was on my knees help­ing Nellie to polish the night nursery floors.

  ‘I wish I could see her,’ I sighed, using my arm to wipe a stray strand of hair from my eyes. ‘It’s not fair that rich people have all the fun while we have to stay here working all the time.’

  ‘When you’re a teacher you’ll still have to work,’ said Nellie.

  I loved that she said ‘when’ and not ‘if’.

  ‘I know,’ I said. ‘But that will be different. I will be teaching little children, helping them with their sums and reading.’

  ‘But you’ll still have to light the classroom fire, and clean the windows, and scrub the floors when the children go home.’

  ‘But don’t you see, Nellie? That will be so different. I will be doing work I want to do. I will be living the life I have always dreamed of.’

  ‘I love working at Lissadell,’ said Nellie.

  ‘I know you do, and that’s lucky, because neither of us has a choice in the matter. Times are chang­ing though, Nellie. I listen to the footmen reading the newspapers, and I know what’s going on in the world. Soon people like us will have a choice.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I mean, if you want to work at Lissadell, you can, but you will be able to decide that for yourself. Soon people like us will have opportunities our parents could only dream of.’

  ‘My parents only dreamed of feeding us, and stay­ing alive – and they weren’t even able to do that.’

  ‘Oh, Nellie. I’m so sorry for them, and for you. But that’s why things like that won’t happen in the future. That’s why …’

  Just then Mrs Bailey appeared. ‘Move along, girls,’ she said. ‘You’re needed in the china room, so finish that and follow me.’

  I rolled my eyes behind her back. ‘Opportunities,’ I whispered to Nellie, and she laughed.

  * * *

  After I had polished about a thousand fine china cups, I had to fight to stop myself throwing one at the wall. Who could ever need all these cups – and why did they have to be so shiny?

  I heard a bell ringing, and looked at the board on the wall in the corridor.

  ‘It’s the large drawing room,’ I said. ‘Don’t worry, Nellie, I’ll go.’

  She smiled. We both knew why I wanted to go upstairs.

  * * *

  Sir Josslyn was standing looking out the window, and the Countess was seated in an armchair in the corner of the room. She looked like a queen, tall and elegant and dressed in dark green silk. Maeve was sitting on a stool by her feet, and Lady Mary was in her usual chair by the fire. Lady Mary was so sweet and gentle, and I wondered if she might be afraid of the Countess, who was like a swirling firestorm.

  ‘Hello, Lily,’ said Lady Mary.

  The Countess smiled when she heard my name. ‘Ah, Lily,’ she said.

  I blushed. Did she actually remember me from the time she helped me to carry a huge bucket of coal up the back staircase?

  Was I more than just another servant to her?

  But then she continued. ‘You’re the girl Maeve has been telling me about.’

  Now I blushed even more.

  Was she angry because Maeve and I had become friends?

  Was she going to ask Lady Mary to fire me?

  But if so, why was she smiling?

  ‘Maeve tells me she has been painting your por­trait,’ she continued. ‘And I’m very happy to hear it.’

  Would she be happy if she heard that Maeve had long ago given up the notion of painting me? What if she actually wanted to see a painting, and Maeve had nothing to show her? I looked desperately at Maeve, but she was petting Poppet and didn’t seem worried. Maybe it was easier for her. If anyone was going to get into trouble, I knew it would be me.

  ‘Yes, Lady, I mean Countess, I mean Madame.’ I was all red and flustered, and ready to apologise, though it wasn’t even my fault.

  Then Lady Mary saved me. ‘We rang the bell because there’s been a bit of a spill, Lily,’ she said. ‘Could you please bring a bucket and a brush and clean it up for us?’

  I had been so busy looking at Countess Markiev­icz, I hadn’t noticed that the tea tray had fallen from the side table, and the rug was covered in a mess of broken china, and tea and milk and cakes and sweets.

  ‘I did it,’ said Maeve. ‘Silly me.’

  I looked at her and she winked, and all at once I understood what had happened. She had told me she’d find a way for me to see her mother, and had deliberately knocked over the tray so either Nellie or I would be called to clean it. I didn’t dare to wink bac
k at her as I hurried from the room to get what I needed.

  When I got back to the drawing room, Maeve and Lady Mary were talking quietly, while Countess Markievicz and Sir Josslyn were arguing. No one paid any attention to me, as I very slowly picked the broken china from the rug, and did my best to clean up the mess.

  ‘When are you going to stop drawing attention to yourself, Constance?’ asked Sir Josslyn. ‘Our mother is ashamed, and our poor father would turn in his grave if he knew half of what is said about you in the newspapers.’

  ‘Our parents always encouraged us to think of others,’ said the Countess. ‘I should think they would be proud of me, feeding the starving children and helping people less fortunate than myself.’

  ‘Perhaps you could help them in a less conspicuous way?’

  The Countess snorted. She didn’t look as if she knew how to be inconspicuous.

  ‘And is it true that you have been wearing … breeches … in public?’ he said.

  Now she laughed. ‘Oh, Joss, you are so old-fash­ioned. Of course I have been wearing breeches. One day that will be commonplace for women.’

  ‘Never!’ said Sir Josslyn, looking as if she had sug­gested that one day women would be able to fly.

  ‘How are we supposed to fight if we are wearing skirts?’ she asked, and then smiled as her brother looked ill at the thought.

  ‘Enough, Constance,’ he said weakly. ‘Enough.’

  ‘Did I ever tell you that the poor women of Dublin gave me an illuminated scroll, to thank me for feed­ing them during the Lockout?’ she said.

  ‘That’s very nice for you,’ he said. ‘But the Lockout is over now, so maybe you could settle down a bit – write some poetry or take up hunting again?’

  ‘I’ll settle down when Ireland is free,’ she said. ‘And not a moment before.’

  I had finished tidying up, but I was so interested in the argument, I stayed kneeling on the rug with my mouth open.

  ‘Lily,’ said Lady Mary quietly. ‘If you are finished you may leave us.’

  I scrambled to my feet, afraid she was cross, but as I hurried from the room I could see that she was trying to hide her smile.

  Chapter Twelve

  For the next few days, while Mrs Bailey was trying to find someone to take Teresa’s place, I helped Lady Mary to dress in the evenings. I looked forward to the time I spent in her room, admiring her nice things, and helping her with small jobs. She talked a lot about her children, saying how happy Michael was now that he had Spotty the seal to take care of, how Hugh wanted a pony, how Bridget loved listen­ing to stories, and how baby Brian had a new tooth. I tried not to feel jealous as I thought how much her children had, compared to my own dear brothers and sisters.

  * * *

  ‘Did you notice that Maggie and Delia barely spoke to me at dinner today?’ I said, as Nellie and I were getting ready for bed one evening. ‘And some of the others were quite rude too. Even Harry wasn’t as friendly as he usually is.’

  ‘Er, not really – I didn’t notice that.’ Nellie was too honest to be a good liar.

  I looked into her bright blue eyes. ‘There’s some­thing you’re not telling me, isn’t there?’

  She went red. ‘It’s … you see, oh, I’m sorry, Lily … didn’t you know – no one ever likes or trusts a lady’s maid?’

  ‘I know no one liked Teresa – but that’s because she was horrible – but I’m not like that – and I’m not even a proper lady’s maid.’

  ‘It’s not about Teresa. I’ve heard the others talking, and they say that’s the way it always is in big houses. Servants are afraid that the lady’s maid spends too much time with the lady of the house. She’s a little bit in their world, and a little bit in ours.’

  ‘And why does that matter?’

  ‘I know you won’t change, but the others don’t. They’re afraid you might get too friendly with Lady Mary – that you might tell tales on them – that you might be sort of … a spy.’

  I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. Why did there have to be so many rules? People were only people, so why did some have to act one way, and some act another way? It didn’t seem fair.

  But none of that was Nellie’s fault. ‘Thank you for telling me the truth,’ I said.

  And the next day, when I walked into the dining hall and everyone stopped talking, I stood on a chair and said in my loudest voice, ‘I’m one of you, and I always will be. I’ll never be a spy, and if anyone says different I’ll … I’ll … I’ll set Spotty the seal on you!’

  For a second there was silence, and then everyone started to laugh. Harry patted my shoulder as I went to my place, and a new young footman made seal noises.

  ‘That’s enough drama out of you, Lily,’ said Mrs Bailey as I sat down, but I could see she was trying not to smile.

  And after that everything was fine.

  * * *

  In my room, late at night, while Nellie was practising her reading, I worked on Lady Mary’s evening bag. It was a difficult job, but I wanted to do it right. I very much wanted to impress her.

  On the fourth day I brought the bag to Lady Mary. She took it from me and examined it closely, turning it over and over. Then she unfastened it and looked inside. Her silence was making me nervous.

  ‘Is there something wrong, Lady Mary?’ I asked. ‘Don’t you like it? I did my very best work.’

  She put the bag on her dressing table and smiled at me. ‘It is simply perfect,’ she said. ‘It is as good as new – the mend is invisible. There were some beads miss­ing on the front, and I see you have replaced them. I am mystified, though. Where did you find beads to match so well?’

  I could feel my face going pink. I was pleased with what I had done, but hoped she wouldn’t be cross with me. ‘I … I made the strap a little shorter, and used the beads from the cut-off piece. I hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t think of any other way to make it nice again.’

  ‘How inventive of you!’ she said. ‘You are a little genius.’

  I had a smile on my face for the rest of the evening.

  * * *

  A few days later, Mrs Bailey asked me to dust the golden birds on the main staircase. I loved that job, as it was nice and easy, and gave me a good view of the hallway, so I could see who was coming and going.

  As I got to the bottom of the stairs, Maeve’s grand­mother, Lady Georgina, came through the front door, where she met Sir Josslyn who was on his way out.

  ‘Mother,’ he said, kissing her on the cheek. ‘I didn’t expect to see you so early. Is Maeve with you? I am going to check on my new anemones and she might like to come along and help me.’

  ‘I have left that naughty girl at Ardeevin,’ she said. ‘Since her mother left she has been quite difficult.’

  I stood there pretending to concentrate on my work. Poor Maeve. No wonder she was ‘difficult’. Her mother had gone away, and who knew when they would see each other again?

  ‘She threw a big tantrum when I said she couldn’t come. She said she had something very important to do when she got here – just a story, I suppose.’ But then Lady Georgina spoke in a softer voice. ‘I know she is sad,’ she said. ‘I have left her with Miss Clayton to do some extra lessons to make up for the time she was away. I will send for her tomorrow, and I am sure she will be happy to help with your project then.’

  Sir Josslyn went out and after handing her coat to the footman, Lady Georgina came towards the stairs. I held my duster behind my back, and stood out of the way, with my head down. When she stopped right next to me I couldn’t help feeling nervous. I knew she was a good, kind woman, but still I was ter­rified of her. I examined her pretty grey shoes, with fancy buttons all along the sides, hoping she had only stopped to catch her breath.

  ‘You are Lily, aren’t you?’ she asked.

  I looked up at her. ‘Yes, Lady Georgina. Can I do something for you?’

  ‘I have been talking to Lady Mary about you.’

  I knew I hadn’t done anyth
ing wrong, but I still felt guilty. Why would they be talking about me?

  ‘She showed me the evening bag that you mended, and I have to say that it is the finest work I have ever seen. You are a clever girl.’

  ‘Thank you, Lady Georgina.’

  ‘I take it you know about the needlework school I set up?’

  Lady Mary had told me about the school. Lady Georgina had set it up many years earlier, so that the poor women on the estate could learn a skill, and earn some extra money. Nellie said that during hard times the school saved many women from starving.

  ‘Yes, Lady Georgina,’ I said.

  ‘And have you seen the needlework school?’

  I smiled to myself. Did she think servants like me got an official tour of the estate?

  ‘No, Lady Georgina. I haven’t seen it.’

  ‘That is a pity. I have to say I am very proud of the school. It has been running since the 1860s, you know. The instructors are quite skilled, and the women are turning out some very nice garments.’

  She stood there for a minute, and I didn’t know if I should go back to my work, or wait for her to say something else.

  ‘Harry,’ she called suddenly, and the footman came over. ‘Please give me back my coat. Lily and I are going for a little walk.’

  Harry returned her coat, and held it for her to put on. Then she took the duster from my hand and gave it to him.

  ‘Tell Mrs Bailey that Lily will be back in twenty minutes.’

  I wasn’t sure where she was taking me, but I liked the idea of a little adventure, so I smiled at Harry, and he winked back at me. I followed Lady Georgina out the front door, down the steps and through the porte cochere. Soon it became clear that we were going towards the coach house, and I wondered if we were possibly going out in the motor car. I wondered if that would be excellent or terrifying.

  But instead of going to where the car was kept, Lady Georgina led me through the coach house courtyard to a different building. She smiled at me as she opened the door and started up the flight of stairs. ‘This is the needlework school,’ she said, ‘I thought you might like to see it.’