Sister Switch

by Beth Garrod

  I thought I got what she was subtly hinting at, so as Mrs Saddler marched me back to the dressing room, barking on about meeting someone important, I messaged my sister again. It didn’t make any sense. Why wasn’t she sticking to our plan?!

  Me: TO BE CLEaR I AM NOT eXAGGERating IF YOU DON’T GET HER EIN THE NEXT 10 MINS THEREIS EVERY CHANCE MRS S MIGHT KILL ME!!!!

  But my messages were still being delivered, and not read. What could be more important than being here? My dreams were over, but this was the last chance at hers!

  Feeling more hopeless than ever, I headed to my spot in the dressing room just as a confident, calm voice broke through the excited chatter.

  ‘Hi, everyone.’ The room fell instantly silent. ‘I wanted to say break a leg.’

  Oh my actual Shakespearean ruff! It was Chinyere Okafor. In the flesh!

  I sat bolt upright. Seeing her felt almost as unreal as sighting Chase! I’d heard so much about her and she was even cooler in real life. No wonder Erin was obsessed!

  Mrs Saddler was standing next to her grinning like the dramatic cat that had got the dramatic cream.

  Chinyere looked round the room with a dazzling smile, which only got bigger when she saw… me.

  Why. Was. She. Walking. In. My. Direction?!

  I urgently tried to bend my ‘about to cry’ face into an ‘about to deliver an award-winning performance’ face.

  Do not say anything weird, Lily!

  Make Erin proud.

  In fact… maybe just don’t say anything, to be on the safe side!

  ‘So you must be Erin.’ I nodded sheepishly (although, tbf, I had no idea how sheep nodded). ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’ Chinyere put her hand out. Even that was perfect – bangles jangled round her wrist and each nail was manicured with a rainbow polish. I felt a fraud even touching such a hand.

  ‘I’veheardalot aboutyoutoo. Allgoodthings.’ I was so nervous my words smooshed. ‘The bactually.’ Nope, Lily. That wasn’t a word. ‘I meant best actually.’

  Chinyere smiled. Mrs Saddler did not. ‘Well, as long as it was bactually then that’s all good.’ I grinned. Erin was right – Chinyere was amazing. ‘Now I won’t keep you, I know you’ll be getting in the zone, but I wanted you to know that…’ She lowered her voice. ‘After everything I’ve heard you’re definitely someone I’ll be keeping a close eye on tonight.’

  Well, that was petrifying.

  ‘Oh great,’ I lied, for the sake of my sister. The truth was I’d prefer if she told me she was using binoculars from at least two miles away. With ear plugs too.

  ‘Your parents are coming?’ Chinyere raised an eyebrow. ‘If I wanted to grab them for a word?’

  CODE RED! My sister had warned me that this might happen but only if she had Erin in mind for a scholarship!

  ‘Th-they are.’ This was the best-worst news ever. ‘Front row. Although be warned, my dad doesn’t know the definition of “too much cheering”.’

  Mrs Saddler pursed her lips. ‘Erin is not exaggerating. Her father was once removed from a carol concert… over excessive use of an air horn.’

  Weird – no one had told me about that, although it did explain why Erin was allowed two puddings that night, no questions asked, and why there was an air horn locked in a drawer that only Mum had the key to.

  With a final ‘break a leg’ (and Mrs Saddler adding, ‘Have a toilet break if you need one. We alllll remember what happened with Caroline. These costumes can be very hard to get out of,’) they headed out.

  But this time, instead of filling with chatter, the room stayed silent. The big moment was here.

  After months of prep (well, days for me), this was happening.

  My sister had totally disappeared and left me in the lurch but I could do this… I had to do this.

  I could be a great Titania. Couldn’t I?!

  I picked up the script Erin had made me, even though it felt as if I was looking at the words for the first time. C’mon, brain, don’t empty now! I’ve fed you, and let you watch World’s Funniest Dogs for a treat. Don’t fail me now!

  ‘Call time for Lou, Mark, Jade, Petra. Can you come to the stage?’ Frankie smiled at the roomful of nervous faces. ‘And the rest of you, all I can really say is… Don’t mess it up.’

  I hugged Lou and stared out of the door, willing Erin to walk past it.

  ‘PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS,’ the tannoy blared out, ‘THE PERFORMANCE IS ABOUT TO BEGIN.’

  I rang Erin for the hundredth time, but still no answer.

  This was ridiculous.

  I had to focus.

  Had to.

  Although I wonder how Micha’s exam went? I hadn’t heard anything.

  No. Come on, Lily! Focus! But my phone lit up.

  Erin?! Micha?!

  Nic: Thanks for going. Shame it didn’t work out. And sorry Chase didn’t come through. Hope the play goes better x

  Ouch. Worst timing ever.

  Confirmation my TheNicReport dream was over. I knew it would have been a miracle for it to have gone any other way, but reading it still stung.

  I didn’t have time to dwell though, I had to get back to my script.

  Erin had tried for me, and now it was my turn. I stared at my lines. But five minutes passed and all I’d achieved was blinking.

  C’mon, Lily.

  Just.

  Look.

  At.

  Your.

  Lines.

  And.

  Concentrate.

  That was the plan – until my phone buzzed again.

  Frankie: Hey Lil. I saw what happened at LOLCon But I just pulled a favour!!! Nic says she MIGHT have something for you after all! She’s in the props van for a few mins now if you want to chat about it! Quick! XOXO

  What, what, what? This was huge!

  After everything, Frankie was helping me out? She really must have forgiven me!

  I screen-grabbed the messages and sent them to my sister. Could she find a way to squeeze in meeting Nic? It would mean the world. But the play was starting any second, and I had no idea where she was.

  ‘Erin?’

  I screeched as a hand touched my shoulder.

  Ben?! How did he get in here?!

  ‘What are you doing here?’ I didn’t mean to sound so shocked. And was it weird I noticed he hadn’t called me babe?

  ‘Just wanted to say break a leg.’ I waited for something weird like a good luck rock. ‘Oh and here.’ He pulled out a bag. Phew. He did have something. He did still like my sister. ‘Can you give this to Lily when you see her?’ Lily? He got something for… me? ‘It was for her birthday, but with the whole broken foot thing…’

  ‘Bruised bone.’ I didn’t mean to correct him. It was just habit.

  ‘That, yeah. Well, I forgot. So I thought you could give it to her tonight. I know she was nervous about the play.’ He shrugged. ‘She doesn’t need to know it’s from me.’

  Well, I hadn’t been expecting this! I’d never thought Ben liked me, let alone was so thoughtful.

  ‘Can I?’ I asked as I peeked in the bag. It was a little wooden sign: KNOCK OR YOU MIGHT END UP IN MY NEXT ARTICLE.

  ‘Thought she could put it up when she’s working on her blog.’ Ben’s cheeks flushed. ‘Or is she going to think I’m even more of a banana?’ He clamped his hand to his mouth. ‘Sorry, not that word. I meant… nerd?’

  I was almost speechless.

  But not quite.

  ‘She’s going to love it. I know she will. Thank you. From both of us.’ He looked genuinely happy. ‘And I promise you she doesn’t think you’re a bana… you know what.’ Maybe she used to, but maybe she realized she’d been wrong.

  ‘PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS AND TURN ALL PHONES OFF.’

  ‘Better dash.’ Ben pointed at the speaker. ‘You’re going to be awesome. And after – are we okay to talk about the thing?’

  ‘Thing?’ But he was already heading towards the door.

  ‘Yup. You and me. Taking a break?’
>
  Sorry, was Erin’s boyfriend really telling her he wanted to break up before the biggest night of her life?

  But my failure to answer seemed to be interpreted as a yes and Ben disappeared.

  What little focus I’d mustered disappeared into a corner for a little cry.

  ‘THE PERFORMANCE IS STARTING.’

  Finally a sense of total calm washed over me.

  The play was starting.

  We’d failed to find Agatha.

  I was trapped in Erin’s body.

  She’d gone missing.

  Her boyfriend was going to dump her.

  My best friend was ignoring me.

  And there was nothing I could do about it.

  * * *

  Turns out, the wave of calm had actually been a massive tsunami of sheer terror. As the audience clapped for the end of the scene before mine, I doubted I could even remember how to walk.

  Singed Simon scurried behind the curtain and carried our props into place. Wasn’t that my sister’s job? Or even Frankie’s? WHERE WERE THEY?! Thank goodness Erin had stuck all the prompts on them – they were my only way through this nightmare.

  ‘You’ve got this,’ Harley said confidently, giving me a hug. I was freaking out so much even a Harley hug didn’t register. I blinked at him to imply ‘you too’ but he gave me a concerned look back as if he thought I had wig fluff in my eye.

  He peered through the wings. ‘Woah, it’s packed. This is going to be epic.’

  It was going to be petrifying.

  But the curtain was coming up.

  And Harley was walking out. I needed to follow him.

  But I couldn’t move! And my breathing was so fast I was technically panting. I was sure Titania never panted!

  I scanned around to see if there were any loose floorboards I could plummet through, but as I did I caught a glimpse of someone in the wings on the other side of the stage. My sister. Finally!

  I’d never seen her look so sweaty. Her hair was all over the place and her clothes were a scruffy mess. Wow – for the first time she really did look like me. When she saw me she stopped, grinned and gave me the biggest thumbs up, before running straight off.

  Seeing her was just what I needed.

  Time to face my fear. To do it for my sister.

  With a deep breath, I stepped out.

  The good news? Not a single thing went wrong.

  The bad news? Every single thing went wrong.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

  The first thing I spotted was Dad’s smiling face. Well, I didn’t technically spot it – I couldn’t miss it as he yelled, ‘That’s my girl!’ and then, ‘And my other girl backstage!’ He did always like things to be fair.

  I couldn’t help but smile, which was a problem as Titania was meant to be in a queen-like serious mood.

  Focus, Lily.

  There were so many eyes on me. Literally hundreds. Maybe thousands? And there was Chinyere!

  I had to calm down.

  Getting myself together, I concentrated on doing my best acting to look cross at Harley as he strode around the stage. The audience were loving him. Maybe this could go okay?

  I lined up my opening words in my head.

  What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence.

  Yes, that was it!

  Harley had finished his line. My moment had come.

  Mrs Saddler always nagged me that confidence and power were at the heart of my character. So I took a deep breath to belt out my first line more confidently and powerfully than ever before.

  ‘JOT, EARLESS OBERON. SCARIES, HIP FENCE!’

  There were actual laughs. I was aiming for impressed gasps! Not laughs. And a lady in the second row was full-on sniggering! Cockapoo Karen?! She was in the same row as PJ and Nic’s dad (who actually did look like my mum after all!).

  No, Lily. Not the point! FOCUS!

  But my first line had vanished from my head!

  ‘Er, one sec.’ Not the most fairy-queen choice of words. But this was like one of those nightmares where you were on stage, everyone staring at you, with no clue what to say – but in real life. And in my sister’s body.

  I had to keep calm. Just look at the fake toadstool Erin had pinned the first prompt on. With relief I spotted it.

  And there was… nothing.

  My blood ran cold.

  ‘Try again,’ Harley hissed, his mouth not moving.

  Where has my prompt gone? Where have ANY of the prompts gone?!

  I turned to the wings, desperate to spot Erin, but all I saw was Mrs Saddler waving her arms so much one of her sleeves got tangled in a large fern.

  The audience were starting to make awkward murmurs.

  I dared not look at Chinyere.

  But someone did help. Someone in the last seat in the front row who I swore hadn’t been there seconds ago. And that someone mouthed the three first words I needed to get me started again.

  Agatha.

  She was here! She was watching!

  I wanted to yell, ‘ERIN, THE HAIRY GODMOTHER IS HERE!’ but decided that would be the final straw for Chinyere, and Mrs Saddler might physically attack me with a prop sword, so instead I said the line she’d given me.

  ‘What, jealous Oberon! Fairies, skip hence.’

  There were actual sighs of relief from the audience, and Mum lifted her head out of her hands. Spurred on by seeing Agatha, I managed to get my next few lines out and waited for Harley to finish his bit while I reached for my drawstring canvas bag, ready to pull my apple out. The apple Mrs Saddler told me I had to bite ‘mysteriously’. How a bite could be mysterious I still had no idea, but it happened at the end of my first big speech and I was going to give it my best shot. And by some miracle, my speech was going okay!

  ‘And for her sake I will not part with…’

  Yes! Only one word left! Him. And even I could remember that. I reached into the bag and pulled out the apple triumphantly. But my last word never came out.

  It couldn’t!

  I was too shocked.

  Which was why instead of ‘I will not part with him’ I actually said – well, shouted…

  ‘I will not part with…’ Horrified pause as I realized what I had in my hand. ‘A BANANA!’

  Where was the apple we’d always rehearsed with?!

  There was a rustle of confusion at this unexpected fruity outburst. I couldn’t blame them. Could I style it out?

  ‘For what a fine banana specimen it is.’ I bit it. Mysteriously.

  I have never been more grateful for signs that said NO CAMERAS. Luckily Harley saved the rest of the scene as I chewed (mysteriously). It was fair to say Chinyere looked… surprised. But what was going on?!

  Erin’s notes that we’d checked last night had gone – and the props had changed since rehearsal.

  And a banana of all things! Although maybe that was just bad luck. Hardly anyone outside the family knew my sister was petrified of them. Well, hardly anyone except…

  And suddenly lots of things fell into place.

  As they did, I forgot to be so worried about the play. And as the first half went on, the words started to come back to me. Sure, I did get my finger stuck in one of my ringlets and I might have been hit by three stress hiccups when I was meant to be ‘sleeping gracefully’, but I got through it.

  Still, I couldn’t have been more relieved than when the curtain came down for the interval. I tried to peek through the curtain to watch where Agatha went, but she’d already disappeared, so instead I raced to get my sister and take her to the HG Productions room. But Erin was nowhere to be found. And there was no sign of Frankie either.

  Today was not going to plan. It was a relief when I finally found a familiar face. ‘Have you seen my sister?’

  Singed Simon wrinkled his nose. ‘Kind of. She’s got a lot on her plate right now.’

  ‘Well, yes, but where exactly is that plate?’

  ‘At this exact moment?’ He shrugged. ‘No idea…’

&nbs
p; But maybe he could help with something else. My theory.

  ‘Weird question, but I don’t suppose you put that banana in the canvas bag?’

  Singed Simon looked horrified. ‘Do you really think I would have put such a slip hazard on stage?’

  He had a point. So, apologizing, I left him to prep for the second half and ran about asking everyone if they’d seen Erin. Not even Lou had seen her – but at least I got to tell her what an awesome job she was doing. I tried the last place I could think of. The toilets.

  ‘Lil?’ I called out to the one closed cubicle door. ‘Lilyyyyyyy?’

  Still felt weird shouting my own name.

  ‘One sec,’ a voice called back. But it was Nic. I didn’t know she was still here?

  When she saw me, her face lit up. ‘Can I just say a big thank you? As in big. For making this thing a whole lot more entertaining.’

  Entertaining. Not exactly the impressing-Chinyere-Okafor-acting-gold I was going for.

  ‘Do you think it’s going… okay?’ I didn’t know she’d been watching, but any reassurance would be good.

  ‘Definitely. Although maybe get someone to double-check your dress. I’m not sure Titania’s meant to have her fairy train tucked into her pants.’

  So that was why a mum had been shielding the eyes of the small child beside her.

  ‘Advice taken. If it happens again maybe you could, I dunno… gesture?’

  Nic grinned. ‘No probs. If you see a phone torch waving, get offstage stat.’

  I laughed. Despite everything going about as badly as it could, at least I was nearer to this entire nightmare being over.

  ‘I hope it’s okay to ask.’ Nic finished washing her hands. ‘But is your sister all right? I was hoping to bump into her.’

  ‘Er…’ How to answer. ‘I think it’s fair to say she’s going through a bit of a rough patch.’

  Nic leant back against one of the sinks.

  ‘I’m gutted she didn’t make it on to TheNicReport team. But she really didn’t seem herself at LOLCon earlier.’ Nic sighed. ‘Probably my fault for asking her to cover it at such late notice—’