My Paranormal Valentine: A Paranormal Romance Box Set

by Michelle M. Pillow

  An acid-like burst of pain shot through my leg as a badger bit down and locked on. How did I miss him? I fought to throw him off, but he was too strong.

  Panicked, I pulled for magic, but holding the bubble surrounding Bo and his friends was more of a drain than I thought.

  Fuck. Me or the kids? No choice. I would not let children die on my watch.

  Mac's eyes were wild and his roar made the hair on my neck stand up as he tore the badger on my leg to shreds. I watched in horrific satisfaction. He was deadly and magnificent.

  For the first time in my life someone had my back. For real had my back.

  He licked my leg and the wound began to mend together.

  "Are you trying to become the new Shifter Wanker?" I laughed. It was either laugh or cry and I was not a baby. I looked down in wonder as my leg healed completely.

  "I am keeping my mate alive so she can do her job and still have sex by the river later," his wolf said with great satisfaction.

  I giggled and rolled my eyes. "Shall we?" I asked and indicated the shit show around us.

  He nodded and rubbed his huge body against mine. "Yes. Let's."

  Together we moved to the center of the room. The sounds of battle made me ill. It had to stop.

  Fire in every color of the rainbow engulfed my upper body as I struggled to remain standing.

  Mac pressed his body to mine and I used his head for balance. Flames hissed and snapped as sparkles leapt around my head and rained over me and my wolf.

  My hair blew wildly and my breath came in short gasps. I'd never conjured up this much power in my life. I hoped to hell that I didn't blow the entire building up.

  I narrowed my eyes and focused my thoughts. I vaguely heard gasps and shrieks as a funnel of wind erupted from the floor and gathered every honey badger in the room except one. That badger would die slowly—very slowly. The ugly fucker hung helplessly in the air, trapped by magic as he watched his colony swirl inside the violent mini tornado.

  I closed my eyes and chanted as the badgers popped one by one. It was hateful, but I did it that way so they knew what was coming as they watched their own die before them.

  Their leader roared and tried to undo my spell with the magic he'd torn from my aunt's body, but I was stronger. I was also more insane, unbalanced and psychotic than he was. I had a gift he didn't. I cared. I cared for all the Shifters in the room. The ones I knew the names of and the ones I didn't. I cared for my aunt—the woman who looked just like me and hadn't deserved to die.

  And I cared for the wolf who wanted me to be his. This was all ridiculous and futile as I still planned to leave, but I couldn't decipher it at the moment. I needed to protect the ones who needed me and destroy the ones who wanted me dead.

  It sounded like popcorn, but it was over quickly. They were dead. The badgers could no longer hurt my people. I let the bubble around the children dissolve and they ran quickly to their parents. I didn't know how many Shifters were dead and how many lived. I had business to attend to and I would heal the wounded after.

  "I will kill him," Mac's voice hissed in my head as he approached the floating badger.

  "No," I shouted. "He's mine."

  Mac turned and stared as he shifted back to human form. Then he slowly stepped aside. The shocked murmurs that erupted through the crowd made me realize this was a monumental moment. The king was sharing his power—with me.

  "As you wish," he said.

  My heart thundered in my chest. I wouldn't have this moment if not for him. I'd be lying dead in the corner torn apart by badgers just like my aunt had been. He had saved me and made it possible for me to avenge Hildy. To process my feelings was impossible. I wasn't good at it and this really wasn't the right time.

  Later. I'd deal with it later. I had work to do.

  "She didn't deserve to die by your hand," I ground out as I approached the badger who wasn't quite as confident as he had been only minutes ago. "You took her magic and now I will take it back."

  I felt Mac at my shoulder as I closed the gap between myself and the horrid animal that had senselessly killed my aunt. Mac's presence calmed me and he didn't try to stop me. I realized he was really going to let me fight my own battle.

  My hair still tossed wildly around my head and I saw my skin glowing eerily. I felt beautiful and powerful and loved by the people surrounding me. It was an unfamiliar feeling, but it felt good.

  "She died like a coward," the badger spat. "She begged for her life."

  He laughed maniacally and drool fell from his lips. Mac's body tensed next to me and I knew it took all he had not to destroy the evil piece of shit.

  "Death will be too good for you, so I think I'll leave you to my Council," I informed him calmly watching as his eyes grew wide with terror.

  Mac's body relaxed beside me and an impressed chuckle from deep in his gut left his lips.

  The Witch Council was famous for torture of enemies. I wasn't clear what they did and I was quite happy to leave it that way. However, the honey badger had clearly heard about their methods.

  "But before I turn you over I need something back."

  I punched my fist into his chest. The squishy sound was sickening, but it was the fastest and most efficient to retrieve what belonged to my family. Aunt Hildy's magic came into my blood and guts covered hand quickly and with joy. It slid up my arm and flowed into my chest. It was warm and strong. It nestled and shuddered. I could feel my aunt inside me and my eyes filled with tears.

  The badger was now unconscious, but he was still alive. He hung in the air, which was where he would stay until I could call the Council to get him. We would need to discover where that syringe was and how he came to have it.

  "Oh no," Wanda cried out and my heart lodged in my throat. I turned and gasped. My voice sounded strange to my ears. She held a limp Fabio in her hands and was trying to stop the flow of blood that came from his head.

  "No, no, no," I screamed as I ran to her as I gently took my mangy, ball-licking cat from her shaking arms. "You will not die, you little shit. You have at least three more lives left."

  Salty tears rolled down my cheeks and to my lips as he lay still and lifeless in my arms.

  I quickly pulled up all the healing magic I owned and let it wash over him but I was too late. Too fucking late.

  Mac eased me to the floor as I sobbed. The helplessness I felt was tearing me to shreds. I cradled Fabio to my chest and whispered to him.

  "I am so sorry," I blubbered in barely coherent English. "You drove me nuts and I did consider the pound a couple of times, but I never would have really done it. And you were right. If I had balls and I could lick them, I would have—probably more than you did. You stupid cat. You made me love you and now you're dead. This is why I don't love people or animals or anything. They don't stay. Who's going to steal me clothes from Paris now? Who's going to make me pancakes? Oh Goddess, I wish I had told you when you asked. I do, you little fucker. I love you."

  My sobs racked my body and I rocked my dead cat back and forth until his weight gain made rocking impossible. WTF? I was no longer holding my sweet yet inappropriate little cat.

  Nope, I was holding a huge, auburn-haired naked man with eyes that matched mine.

  That's when I screamed.

  Chapter Fourteen

  "Oh my Goddess, cover him up," I yelled.

  I shoved the huge shocked man off my lap and slapped my hands over my eyes. He was beautiful, but for some reason his naked body repelled me. I was completely grossed out.

  "Somebody cover his balls. Now! I cannot look at this man's nuts or weenie or I will puke."

  I stared up at the ceiling as my friends and neighbors frantically searched for something to cover his offending privates. Finally Mac draped an orange tablecloth over the man who used to be my cat. The guy looked hideous in orange with his red hair, but that was the least of my problems at the moment.

  I got right up in his face. "Who the fuck are you and what did you do with
my dead cat, buster?"

  His smile made me blink. It was a mirror of mine. Who in the hell was he?

  "Hello, Zelda. I've waited a long time to make your acquaintance."

  I was bizarrely drawn to him, so I backed away. My urge was to hug him, but he made my dead cat disappear. "I want my cat back," I snapped.

  He smiled and held out his hand. I refused it and he slowly dropped it back to his side.

  "Tell her who you are," Mac demanded.

  "You know him?" I asked. Confusion didn't begin to cover the thoughts filling my brain.

  Mac squatted down next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I've met him several times,” he said to me.

  “I figured it was you," Mac said to Naked Dude.

  "She could do better," Naked Dude said with authority.

  Why did this sound familiar? "Are you Fabio?" I asked.

  "Yes," he replied, his focus totally on me. "But I'm more."

  "Yeah, clearly. You're a big naked man who I do not ever want to see naked again."

  The crowd of Shifters watched. Some frowned in confusion and some smiled knowingly. Goddess, I hated not being in on the secret. This sucked and needed to end now.

  "You realize you can't lick your balls anymore," I told him and then dropped my head into my hands. Why was I born without a filter? Why?

  The Shifters laughed and the man chuckled. "I know. I will actually miss that," he said as I looked up and grinned.

  "Who are you?" I asked again.

  "Zelda, I am your father."

  I was unsure if I wanted to laugh, cry or smack him. This was a shitty joke and it tore at my heart, cracking it to pieces.

  "What the fuck?" I shouted. "When did we start playing Star Wars? I don't have a father. I have a sperm donor. You are not my father. I want my cat back."

  "Zelda, I can explain." The man's voice was raw and full of emotion.

  I looked to Mac. "Is he telling the truth?" I whispered the question as I leaned into him for comfort.

  "He is your father, but if you don't want to talk to him I'll take you away."

  Turning back, I stared at the man who claimed to be my sperm donor. At least now it made sense why I couldn't look at him naked.

  "Spill it." I crossed my arms over my chest and waited. The impulse to crawl over to him was enormous.

  "I didn't know about you. Your mother never told me. When I found out I confronted her and she turned me into a cat. The only way I could be with you as your father was if I earned your love."

  His voice was sincere and his eyes searched mine, begging for something. I groaned and let my head fall back on my shoulders.

  "It took me a very long time to love you as a cat. I have no clue if I can love you as a father. Is your name really Fabio?"

  "Yes. Yes, it is."

  "That's kind of unfortunate," I muttered.

  "Yes, well, my sister's name was Hildegard."

  He did have a point. I was glad he had no hand in naming me.

  "All right, Fab—dadio," I stuttered and then expelled a large sigh. "We can go slow. Really slow. You will have to wear clothes that aren't orange and I won't call you Dad until I can say it without laughing—which may be never. I will call you Fabio or Naked Dude. You will pay for therapy until I can get the visual of your white ass and nuts out of my head and you have to tell me about Aunt Hildy."

  "I can do that," he said.

  His eyes sparkled with hope and I felt wanted by a parent for the first time in my life. It was a heady feeling and I didn't want to trust it, but he was here and he was smiling at me.

  The magic in the ransacked bar ramped up dramatically. The Shifters huddled in fear, but I just smiled. I knew she would show up eventually. It was All Hallows Eve, after all.

  "Well, this is certainly a mess," Baba Yaga purred as she and her scary cronies appeared in a poof of old lady crouch smoke.

  "Yep," I agreed as I hugged her tight. She had graduated from Flashdance attire to appalling Madonna-esque. Hundreds of black rubber bracelets covered her arms and the cone-shaped bustier that barely contained her ample breasts could put an eye out. Her skintight silver lamé pants made me gag, but I was truly happy to see her. "I have a present for you."

  "Really?" she asked as she took in my nearly naked father with interest.

  "Fabio, darling, I didn't think you'd be able to do it. You made her love you! Congratulations," she said happily as she flicked her pinkie and dressed him in a heinous outfit from the eighties.

  My dad slash cat cringed as he glanced down at his ensemble… at least it wasn't orange. I hoped someone's cell phone had made it through the battle. I needed a blackmail picture of this.

  "What sort of present do you have for me, dear?" Baba Yaga inquired.

  "I have the motherfucking assmonger who murdered Aunt Hildy. He used a syringe to drain her magic before he killed her and then he put it in himself."

  "Do you eat with that mouth?" she inquired dryly.

  I glanced over at Mac and exchanged grins. "Yes, I do."

  "And did you take her magic back?" Baba asked as she examined the vile badger with hatred.

  "I did."

  "Good girl. I'd suggest you be careful with it. You now possess enough power to blow up the continental U.S."

  She clapped her hands with delight and I blanched. That was far more responsibility than someone like me should have. Ever.

  The warlocks surrounded the hanging badger and yanked him from the air. The looks of sadistic satisfaction on their faces made my stomach roil, but the honey badger had it coming. He had a way to kill witches and take their gifts. This was very bad and tremendously deadly to my kind.

  "So your next mission, if you choose to take it, will be to find the syringe, kill all the ones who created it and destroy any evidence that is left," Baba Yaga said with her back to me. "Alone."

  She turned around, readjusted her dangerous knockers and continued.

  "Or you could take up your aunt's job."

  WTF? How was this fair? I'd done my task. I should be free to leave and go on my merry, vapid, lonely, pathetic way.

  Wait...did she say choose? I had a choice? Was this a win-win?

  I could say I wanted to stay here, but everyone would assume it was because I didn't want to hunt down the deadly weapon. Finding the syringe was sure to get me killed.

  Think, think, think…

  No one would really know I wanted to stay. I had feelings for all these idiots and I wanted to get to know my father, not to mention have sex by the river.

  Shitballs. Feelings were messy and emotions were dangerous. However, when I weighed it with being alone and most likely dead, the choice was clear. I would stay. The small fact that I wanted to stay would be my secret.

  Pretending to debate the merits of the choice in my head was kind of fun. Everyone in the room was on pins and needles—especially Mac. He stared at me hard, willing me to stay with him.

  Inhaling through my nose and blowing the breath out loudly between my lips, I spoke. "I will stay."

  The roar of joy was deafening. Shouts of glee and hugging and crying commenced. I was fist-bumped, bear-hugged and tossed around like a doll. Finally, I ended up in Mac's arms where I was kissed so thoroughly I forgot my name. My dad stepped up and put his arms out for a hug. Slowly I went to him and it felt so right and so wonderful my eyes filled with tears. Fabio turned to my wolf while I was still in his embrace.

  "I was wrong," Fabio said to Mac as I tried to calm my heart and brain. "You have my blessing. However, if you hurt her I will smite your ass to hell and back."

  My father shook Mac's hand and the truce was sealed.

  "Noted," Mac said.

  WTF?

  Baba Yaga pulled me to her. I ducked so I didn't lose my left eye to her pointed hooter. "I have always believed in you. It delights me to see that you have learned to believe in yourself."

  "Was that my task?" I asked, shocked it was that simple.

  "Yes, the
rest of what you did was your fate." She winked and kissed my cheek. "And your mate is hot!"

  "He is not my mate," I insisted loudly. "We're just dating."

  "Good luck with her," Baba Yaga told a delighted Mac. "She's a handful."

  "I will take care of her and will defend her until my last breath," he told the most powerful witch in the world.

  My insides tingled and my woowoo clenched. Baba was correct. He was freakin' hot.

  "Of course you will," she said with a bit of witchy steel in her voice. "I would have never allowed her in your presence if I didn't know this to be true. Zelda, you must use your magic to protect the balance and destroy anything in the area that is deadly to our races. Capisce?"

  I grinned and then I realized what she had said...Wait one cotton picking minute.

  I was stuck on the first part of her sentence.

  Baba Yaga knew all of this was going to happen?

  With the flourish she was known for, she and her entourage disappeared in a cloud of crouch smoke before I was able to ask another question or demand answers.

  "You realize she kind of screwed you over," Simon said as he and Chuck began to clean up the carnage.

  "What are you talking about?" I was still shocked by the events of the evening—mostly that this was my new home. "Don't clean up. I'll use some magic to clear out the shit show."

  "You've done enough tonight," Fabio cut in. "Allow me."

  With a flick of his hand, silver and gold sparkling mist covered the room. Everything was returned to its former glory and all the blood and carnage disappeared. My dad had some awesome magic. I hoped he would still make me pancakes and steal fantabulous designer duds for me… time would tell.

  I was delighted to realize I was wrong about Simon's skunk girlfriend. She wasn't dead, but she was badly injured. I had work to do. Amazingly none of the Shifters had died. I silently thanked the Goddess for my beautiful healing gift.

  "Line all the wounded up. Do it fast before I change my mind and go after the fucking syringe," I told the crowd.

  "Did you not take in what I just said?" Simon asked as he helped his girlfriend to the line.

  "Nope. Explain," I said as I began to heal a mangled fox.