My Paranormal Valentine: A Paranormal Romance Box Set

by Michelle M. Pillow

  Before I could think of my next move, the crazy bitch was in front of me, yanking me off the ground and pinning me against the trunk. Her brown eyes looked nearly black in the dark, and she had a maniacal quality I usually liked to avoid in people.

  Sheila held me with her forearm against my chest and with her free hand she pinched my cheeks together, giving me fish lips.

  Unflattering, but effective. I debated for half a second on whether to fight back or try to diffuse the situation. Since I’m a lousy fighter, I went for the latter.

  “You’re really strong for a woman.” (Not easy to say with fish lips, let me tell you.)

  “What. The. Fuck. Are you. Doing. Out. Here?” She pinched hard with each punctuated word. My poor cheeks were going to be sore for a week.

  “I wawws woiwing uhn…” (You try talking with fish lips.)

  She cocked her head sideways. “What?”

  I pointed to her fingers then gently pried them from my face.

  “There.” I rubbed my cheeks. “I said, I was on a stroll with my dog. Hot night and all. AC’s broke. Needed some air. Stopped to tie my shoe. That’s it. Honest.” Well, not completely honest, but close enough, really. And where was the damn dog? Dumb creature got me into this situation then bolted at the nearest sign of trouble. So much for man’s best friend.

  Sheila rubbed her hand through thick, shiny brown hair. Then she gazed down at my shoes. I thanked all that was right with the world (which didn’t feel like much, by the way) that I’d worn my tennis shoes and not my sandals.

  She grunted, digging her fingernails into my arm. “Take my advice, little girl. Next time you feel like walking at night, take a stroll around your living room. You never know what might be out in the dark just waiting to eat you.” She snapped her teeth. Really effective.

  Feeling good and warned, I scraped my back against the tree trying to get some running room. “Uh…Thanks for the advice.”

  Before she let me go, an image of her and Judah seriously making out flashed in my head. “Jeezus.”

  “What?”

  She’d finally unlatched herself from me, and I didn’t want to give her an excuse to “bring a whole can of whoop ass” down on me, so I said, “Nothing.”

  But come on! This chick definitely liked to keep it in the family. Babel and Judah. And what about Judah? First, I’d seen him kissing Ruth, now Sheila. What a man-whore. I mean, I liked Ruth, but she was a married woman with a gazillion kids. And Sheila, well, she obviously got around. Curiosity got the better of sense, and I decided to risk an ass kicking.

  “I didn’t mean to interrupt you and…”

  She glared. I could swear her eyes flashed with some unholy light. “None ya.”

  “I just mean, it sounded pretty serious.”

  Her brow narrowed, and she pursed her lips. “What exactly did you hear, Sunny Haddock?”

  Uh-oh. Crazy knew my name. “Not much. It just sounded like you were breaking up with someone.” Which it had. “But I couldn’t hear a whole lot.” Which I hadn’t. “But I don’t mean to pry.” Which I really did.

  There was something innately fascinating about Sheila. Sort of like a ten-car pile-up on the freeway. It’s hard not to slow down and take a good long look no matter how disturbing you might think it is.

  She turned on her heel and walked off into the night with the parting words of, “Go home, Sunny Haddock.”

  I got the distinct feeling she didn’t mean the diner. When I got back to Sunny’s Outlook, I allowed the tension to leave my body and breathed a sigh of relief.

  The light came on, and I saw Babel standing near the switch. “You okay?”

  To say I nearly jumped out of my skin was an understatement. “How did you get in here?” I’d locked the door when I left; at least, I was pretty certain. He held up a ring of keys. “I have an extra set.”

  “Why?”

  Babel arched a brow. He took a step toward me, holding out the keys. He jangled them in the air like a dangling carrot. “Chavvie gave them to me.”

  “I don’t know that I like you having a copy.”

  “I just thought…”

  Before I knew what had happened, he was inches from me. I felt woozy and just a little breathless.

  “You thought wrong.”

  His fingers laced with the metal keys traced a path down my bare arm. “I don’t think so.”

  Before turning to a complete pile of slush, I stepped back, just out of his reach. Babel made a lot of assumptions about our level of intimacy, and I planned to set him straight. “Hold up, fella. You’re definitely cute. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t find you attractive.” It’s hard to fake “no chemistry” when it’s thick in the air. “But not only are you a decade younger than me,” which I could get past under different circumstances, “but you’re also Chav’s brother.” Which I couldn’t get past. You just don’t do your friend’s exes or siblings. It’s like an unwritten code. “Beyond that, there is nothing between us.” My heart sank as I said it.

  Babel pulled on all my emotional and physical strings. Maybe because we both loved Chav and our mutual concern pushed all the right buttons in me. My reaction to Babel reminded me of the first time I met Chav, only without all the pining and puddling. After meeting the tall brunette, I’d instantly wanted to be her friend. To be close to her. Chav had told me once that our friendship was yin and yang. A perfect balance. I think the reason Babel freaked me out so much was that I felt the same intense connection to him that I did with Chav, only more pervy.

  “I think you know that’s not true, Sunny.”

  I was angry. More than maybe I should’ve been. Suddenly, I realized why. “Were you just over at the courthouse with Sheila?”

  He looked genuinely confused. “Sheila? When?”

  “Never mind.” It hadn’t been Babel with her out there in the darkness. Inside—and childishly, I might add—I did a happy dance.

  Babel leaned forward and breathed in deeply. His lip curled in a snarl. “Did she hurt you, Sunny?” He sniffed at my cheeks where she’d pinched me; then he inhaled the area on my arm that she’d grabbed. A rumble drew from his throat.

  “I…no.”

  Anger brimmed his words as he lifted my chin. “Your cheeks, they’re red and slightly bruised. I know Sheila had something to do with it. I can smell her on you. Tell me.”

  “It’s nothing. Really.” Smell her? What the heck? “I think I just surprised her is all.”

  “I’ll talk to her.” His thumb brushed my cheek. A flash of vision haunted me. Babel and Sheila had bonded over the mutual loss of his brother. And even though nothing had gone on between Babel and me, inexplicably, I felt like the other woman. It made me ashamed.

  “She’s not a bad person. I’m sure.” What a stupid thing to say! She was bad. Horrible even. But if Babel and I got involved there would be drama, drama, drama between me and the nut job long after he was gone. I didn’t want it or need it. “Stay out of it. I can handle myself.”

  His lips relaxed into a half smile, turning me back into slush. “Of course you can.”

  My knees buckled for a second. Crap. Why did he have to be so sexy? “Babel,” I said firmly, trying to sound in more control than I felt. “Is there a purpose to tonight’s visit? Other than the initial scaring the bejeezus out of me?”

  “Sheriff called. Said you were nervous about a barn owl. He thought I could come over and reassure you.”

  The way he said “reassure” made it sound like a naughty, naughty word. I’m almost positive when the sheriff had said it, he hadn’t made it sound that way at all. “Consider me reassured. Anything else?”

  “Do you want me to stay?”

  Yes. “No.”

  “I could sleep on the couch. It might make you feel safer, what with all the dogs and owls creeping around you.”

  Okay. “No.”

  “You sure?”

  No. “Yes.” I was a woman of many contradictions. My brain had apparently
joined forces with my libido, but at least my mouth hadn’t betrayed me.

  He shrugged. “Suit yourself.”

  “You can take the couch.” Traitorous mouth! “Just for tonight, though. And don’t be getting any ideas,” I added. After all, I was in control. Right? Babel winked. “Got it. No ideas.”

  Chapter Five

  THE NEXT MORNING, I jumped out of bed, ran a comb through my hair, brushed my teeth, and pinched my cheeks for color before casually strolling into the living room.

  Unfortunately, it had all been for naught. The spare blankets I’d given Babel were folded neatly on the side of the couch, and he was gone. No note, no nothing. Which shouldn’t have pissed me off, but it did. How come he hadn’t stuck around? I felt like a one-night stand without all the hot, sexy fun that comes before the shame and regret.

  Ruth stopped over and invited me to go to Lake Ozarks. She enticed me with the promise of name-brand outlet malls. I’m weak. What can I say? Besides, I needed a distraction. We went in her car, and during the drive, I found out that the only access road in or out of Peculiar was the long one-lane bridge I’d come in on. I enjoyed being a passenger. The country was beautiful and lush and green, something San Diego lacked, especially during water shortages. I hadn’t really paid attention when I’d driven in—more focused on the destination than the journey.

  After we’d finished shopping, (and hell yes, we shopped! I found some really cute things for the restaurant at an antique mall), Ruth said, “Are you sure I can’t talk you into getting a hotel room for the night, Sunny?”

  “Don’t you have to get home?” After all, Ruth did have a dozen kids.

  She shrugged. “Sometimes it’s nice to get away.”

  I could see that. Hell, if I had that many ankle biters I’d want to run away. But damn, I’d already run away from home once before, and I wasn’t looking to go anywhere else at the moment. “I have some stuff I need to do in the restaurant today. Plus, I want to go through Chav’s things and see if I can get a clue to where she is. You don’t mind, do you?”

  Ruth tensed, pursed her lips, and wiggled them. She minded. “Please, Sunny. You don’t want to go back to Peculiar. Not tonight anyway.”

  “I had a good time today, Ruth.” In other words, she was killing my buzz. She didn’t respond.

  I’d had it up to my eyeballs. “Do people really want me gone that badly?”

  “There’s good reason for not wanting you around.” Ruth wouldn’t look at me. “You’re not one of us.”

  Great. There was some kind of hillbilly club that required membership I wasn’t privy to. “I could be ‘one of you’ if you guys would just stop treating me like I’m a boil on your asses.”

  Ruth cracked a smile. “I can’t explain it. Not in a way to make you understand. So, no offense, hon, but you will never be one of us.”

  That hurt. I’d come to expect the rest of Peculiar to try to drive me out of town. But I hadn’t thought Ruth would break out a torch and pitchfork. The rest of the ride home was in total awkward silence.

  Ruth dropped me off at the diner, and I was beginning to think maybe we couldn’t be friends so much. Especially if she was going to keep joining in the rousing chorus of “get the hell out of town.”

  When Sheriff Taylor pulled up in his Crown Vic, I wasn’t really surprised. The bell dinged on the door as he walked in. I smiled to myself. I’d bought the bell at one of those country-chic stores, and the noise confirmed I’d managed to put it up right.

  “Nice,” he said.

  “So, how are you planning on running me out of town today?”

  His mouth quirked up in one corner. “You’re a funny gal.”

  “Most gals are, don’t you know?”

  “Seriously, though, Ms. Haddock.”

  Who wasn’t being serious? I certainly was. Jumbo-sized serious. “What now?” I whined.

  “There’s a big storm coming in tonight. Talk of tornadoes and such. They can come on mighty quickly and without warning. So best to stay in and lock your doors and windows.”

  “Huh?”

  “You know.” He whistled and twirled his finger around in the air. “Tornadoes.”

  Tornadoes? I’d heard of tornadoes in the Midwest but hadn’t given them a second thought when I’d moved out here. But I was a Cali girl. I’d suffered tremors and the threat of earthquakes. Surely I could take on big, swirling, monstrous funnel clouds of death.

  Oh my God! What was I thinking?

  Funnel clouds of death.

  Great. Like there wasn’t enough shit already. “Hmm. So, like out of nowhere. Bang!

  I could be in Kansas sitting on top of some old batty chick wearing red slippers?”

  He nodded somberly. “Yep.”

  “Well, screw me blue.”

  “I’m a married man, Ms. Haddock.”

  To say I was shocked wouldn’t do my reaction justice. “I…”

  The corner of his mouth quirked again. These country folk could deadpan humor with the best of them. “So you’ll stay in tonight?”

  “Uh, yeah. I can manage that.”

  He looked so damned relieved, I got a warm-fuzzy. Someone in this town cared about my well-being. Then another thought struck me. “If a tornado hits, where do I go? What do I do?” Crap! I didn’t have a basement or anything. There was a crawlspace, but how many other things would I be sharing it with? Spiders? Snakes? What other godforsaken creepy-crawlies?

  He seemed to chew on his response for a moment before he answered. “Well, if you hear the sirens, just head on over to the courthouse. It has an underground shelter for folks without basements.”

  “Okay, I can get there.” But could I get there fast enough? I wondered just how quick adrenaline would carry me if a violent wind chased after me.

  “I’m not saying it’s going to happen.” He shrugged. “Just in case, though, stay in.”

  “Cool. Got it. Fantastic. Thanks for the warning,” I mumbled, not thankful at all. The threat of bad weather seemed like one more way for this town to try to get rid of me. If I woke up in Kansas in the morning with my place on top of some wayward witch, I was going to be pissed.

  Sheriff Taylor patted me on the shoulder, and my eyes rolled back. A large banded raccoon hissed, eyes flashing as it leaped into the air on the attack.

  I shrieked, stumbling back. When my ass bumped against the counter, and no actual animal landed on my head, I peeked out from behind my sheltering arm. The sheriff was staring at me as if I was crazy. He acted like he hadn’t ever seen a woman scared witless by a vision. Imagine that.

  “I’m fine.” I waved my hand. “I thought I saw a bee.” Lame, but whatever.

  “O-kee. Well…” He dragged out the “well” like a man who recognized crazy. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I mean, psychic shit happens, but not on a daily basis, and not over and over with crap that didn’t make any sense to me. Not to be self-aggrandizing, but my visions were usually about me. Not generally helpful, but not so puzzling either.

  After the sheriff left, and Babel entered. It was like a rotating friggin’ door. I sighed and tried really hard to leave out the lusty shudder. It should be illegal for a man to look that savagely good.

  “What do you want?” I meant to say hello, really, but that’s what came out instead.

  He scratched his chin, his face full of apprehension. Or maybe annoyance. Or maybe he was just constipated. “I guess you’ve been told about the storm?”

  I guessed he needed more fiber in his diet. “Yeah, yeah, swirling winds of doom. I got the message.”

  “Good. Just making sure.”

  He licked his lips, and my knees knocked. I scolded them profusely then wondered how horrible it would be if I used Babel for courage-building boinking?

  As if he could read my mind, he arched a brow and grinned.

  “Uh-uh.” Shaking my head, I absently dusted the already-clean counter. My body may have want
ed the quick roll, but my common sense knew better. “Did you need something?”

  He moved closer, and I could smell his cologne. Eau de Hubba-Hubba. “I think it’s clean.” His voice had deepened an octave—his tone like aural sex—and my stomach went tight.

  His wild, shoulder-length, thick, thick hair made me want to grab a fistful and yell, “Say my name, bitch!” I resisted the urge and focused on scrubbing harder, but I couldn’t deny myself a sneak peek at his crystal-blue pools most people would call his eyes. And there it was, that spark, that leap, that…electricity. “It’s clean when I say it’s clean. I’d hate for someone to get skewered by a dirty piece of counter during the coming storm.”

  My skin shivered with excitement when he turned me in his arms and pressed his lips hard against mine. I tried not to respond.

  Impossible.

  I melted into the kiss, my fingers tangling in his soft mane. So much softer than I could have imagined. Mental note: Ask the man taking liberties with me what conditioner he uses.

  Every joint in my body felt as if it had come unhinged and I grasped at him to keep tucked in tight to his wide, muscular chest. All thought drained from my head as his hands kneaded my back. By the time his lips left mine, I felt all wonky and loose. “What the heck was that for?”

  “Keep yourself safe tonight,” he murmured, reluctantly releasing me from his embrace.

  The bell sounded again, and like boxers ending a round, we moved quickly apart. Neville Lutjen, mayor extraordinaire and total cockblocker, walked into my little establishment. Jeezus. I hope I got this much traffic when we actually opened.

  “Nice day, Ms. Haddock,” he said, giving a nod of acknowledgment to Babel, who nodded back. Even though it was a Friday, Neville wore what appeared to be his Sunday best—tan slacks, blue blazer, light cream-colored shirt, with a blue and brown striped tie. “Just stopped by to check in.”

  Isolated with the two men, I noticed a similar raw chemistry. Even if Neville was a bit older, he didn’t look as though he’d wasted a moment of his youth, or that he couldn’t still hold his own with anyone half his age.

  “Hi, Mayor Lutjen.”