Low Sided

by A. J. Downey

  Raven was too sweet, maybe a little naïve, but I couldn’t picture her doing anything to cause anyone any kind of upset. It just wasn’t her. She was a pleaser by nature – a healer, a fixer, and a radiant light.

  “I’m listening,” I assured her when she fell quiet.

  “We walked for a long time around the park, and he invited me back to his place for a glass of wine. He seemed genuine, but he wasn’t and when he kissed me it,” she shuddered, “it felt off and I wasn’t okay with going further so I got up to leave and—” She huddled in on herself and shuddered against me. I held her tight, kissing the top of her head.

  “You don’t have to tell me anymore,” I said.

  She sniffed and said, “He raped me, then put me in the back of a ride share to take me home. I begged the driver to take me to the hospital instead. They called the police who didn’t seem to really want to take my report. They kept twisting my words and… and I feel like it was a miracle at all that I got through that and to the prosecutor.”

  “They get him?” I asked, feigning innocence of any knowledge of how this shit turned out.

  “No,” she said hollowly. “The police came, two men in uniforms, to fire spinning practice. They arrested me, wouldn’t tell me what for, and took me away but not to jail. They drove me to the bottom of a parking garage, threw me on the ground and Max was there. The three of them kicked me halfway to death. That’s how I knew what to do about your ribs. They told me to drop the charges or they would tear my life apart, make me disappear. I was so scared. They knew where I lived, they could hurt my tribe. I didn’t know what else to do so I called and refused to cooperate and then the messages started coming, telling me to keep my mouth shut. I got rid of my phone, packed what I could, and ran.”

  She sobbed a little, a bubble of misery choking off her words and I held her. This fucking guy… I’d never killed a man before. Came close but had never sealed the deal. I aimed to make sure this fucker could never do this to another woman.

  “All I can see when I dream is that goddamn gold crucifix swinging on its chain in front of my face as I waited for him to be done with me. I was so scared that with anyone else that would be all I would ever see… but you… thank you,” she murmured thickly.

  Yep. I was gonna fucking kill him…

  “Hey, Fen, you busy?” I asked, striding across the field. Several goats brayed.

  “Depends on what you want,” he said, in the process of pouring feed into pans.

  “It’s your specialty,” I said.

  “I only have two specialties, and since you aren’t pretty enough for the first, then it’s gotta be settling a score,” he said, shoving one of the more demanding goats away with a boot.

  “Yeah,” I said. “I know you’ve gotten used to handling these goats, but I have a pig that needs to be dealt with.”

  “You know I love fresh ham, bacon.” He grinned savagely and pushed another goat away. “Fuck, now I want breakfast.”

  “We can take care of that, but I found out a few things. Pig fucked Raven over, and I want to fix it,” I said.

  “What kind of payback we talking about? You gotta be careful when taking a pig to market.”

  “Oh, that’s what I was hoping you would say.” I grinned. “This guy raped her, then when she filed a complaint, they put the boots to her, medium style.”

  “Medium style, huh?”

  “Medium style, enough to send someone to the hospital, but not enough to kill ‘em. You know, enough to send a message and make sure it stuck – in her case drop the charges and keep your mouth shut.”

  “No shit?” he asked. “That’s why she’s skittish, eh?” He looked thoughtful and angry. I could tell, he didn’t need any winning over.

  “Yeah, that’s why she’s skittish. That’s also why she’s living in Rat City, in an off-the-grid apartment, and walks everywhere. The pigs have her blackballed.”

  “And taking this one to market will fix it?” Fenris asked.

  “I think so. You know how these jagoffs are, they rally around their own, but you take that one out, they go back to covering their own asses.” I growled and crossed my arms.

  “You’re still on parole, that’s playing with fire,” he said.

  “Raven was a fire spinner, it seems fitting?” I shrugged. “And besides, it could be a public service, something nice to do for her, sure, but the rest of humanity will surely benefit, too.”

  He nodded and poured the last grain bucket. “She’s weird. I like her,” he said. “And yeah, I’ll take care of it, just tell me who this walking bag of pork rinds is and consider it done.”

  “No, not like that. I’m not asking you to take care of it, I’m asking you to help me with this. I want to take this guy out, with my own hands.”

  “Oh, that sounds like the old Mace, and fuck yes. Count me in. What about the club?” he asked.

  “I don’t want to bring the boys in on this. If things go sideways, that would put them at odds with an entire police force. They don’t need that hassle, not on my account,” I said. “Maybe the prospect, though. Yeah. He could use some real experience here.”

  “The nervous kid, oh Thor’s hammer, yes, the prospect should be involved.” Fen laughed. He took a slow breath and closed his eyes. I took a small step back. Fen took some of this stuff really serious, and when he opened his eyes again, he almost seemed like a different person, like maybe not even human. “You know what, Mace, no. We’ll leave Sauley out of this, unless you need someone to babysit Raven. You know what you are asking to do?”

  “Yeah, get rid of a pig,” I said.

  “No, Mace. This isn’t getting rid of a pig, it’s murder. You are going to take another human being out of this world, and you’re going to do it right,” he said. “You’re going to look into his eyes when he dies, and it is going to change you. The prospect isn’t ready to even be near that happening.”

  “This guy is a rapist, and his cop buddies have covered his ass,” I said. “I’m not worried about getting rid of him.”

  “He’s a human being, and you are going to end his life, and after that, you’ll be like me,” he said. “Like DT.”

  “No one is like you, Fen,” I said. “No one’s like DT, either. You think we should involve him.”

  “You’ll be a killer, then, like us.” He smiled with something that could only be described as grim glee. “And no, DT would spill it to Mav. I know where his loyalties lay, and it will always be club first. This is definitely beg forgiveness over ask permission. Plausible deniability.”

  He looked far away and thoughtful. I had to guess he already had this half figured out.

  “You can be a scary motherfucker, Fen,” I said as the creepy and insidious smile grew on his face. It was half way a man looked when he was on the way to a boner. Seriously creepy in this context.

  “I know it,” he said, and rounded the gate, closing it up behind him. “Come on, there are things to consider.”

  14

  Raven…

  “I want to take you somewhere,” he said, and I smiled, leaning forward on my hands across my bar. Mace smiled and gave me the kiss I was looking for and I backed off, a happy girl.

  “Oh, yeah?” I asked, popping the top on his preferred beer and setting it on a coaster. He took it up and put the lip of the bottle against his lips. I tried not to outwardly shudder at the thought of what it felt like to have those lips against my skin.

  One night with Mace, and I swear to God, it was like my switch had been flipped or something. Sex with him was suddenly all I could think about. I was craving him like he was some sort of drug – addicted to his kiss, to his touch, like nothing else I had ever had the occasion to desire before.

  “Yeah,” he said with a wink. “You think you could get a whole weekend off from this place?” he asked.

  “Depends,” I said, pulling the pencil from behind my ear and the pad of paper from my apron pocket. “What dates are we talking here?”

&n
bsp; We talked weekend plans, and I wrote some dates down then asked, “Where you planning on taking me?”

  “You trust me?” he asked softly, picking up my hand and pressing a kiss to my palm.

  “Of course, I do…” I said, some of the tension leaving me at the sincereness in his deep brown eyes.

  “Enough to let me keep it a surprise and still be comfortable?” he asked, and I hesitated.

  “Am I really that bad?” I asked and winced.

  “Not at all, babe,” he promised me. “I just don’t want to do anything that puts you ill at ease. You’ve been through enough.”

  I bit my lips together and nodded thoughtfully. He ducked his head, and the movement brought my eyes back to his.

  “You okay?” he asked, and I nodded.

  “Yeah, just thinking about what you asked.” I took a deep breath and let it out in a rush. “You can keep it a surprise,” I said, and he grinned.

  “Yeah?” he asked, making sure.

  “Yeah,” I nodded once, resolutely.

  “Alright then.” He took another pull off of his beer and followed me with his eyes as I drifted up the bar – one of my regulars beckoned.

  It was going to be my night off the next night, and Mace had agreed to take me to his place. He kept warning me that it was far worse than mine and I couldn’t fathom. When he’d told me that he was living in the loft of a barn, I just had to see for myself. It sounded like quite the adventure.

  “You’re sure about this, now?” he asked me later, when he held the passenger door of a pickup open for me. I climbed in without hesitation and said, “If I can trust you for this, I can certainly trust you for a whole weekend away, can’t I?” I’d shot back. He grinned, stepped up on the truck’s runner and smacked a kiss to my lips before shutting me in to come around to the driver’s side.

  The late night/early morning drive to this goat farm he lived on was uneventful and traffic was light. It was the middle of the week, so I hadn’t expected much. What surprised me was the three people still up, sitting on the covered back porch of the house across from the big old barn.

  Fenris, I recognized, the woman and the older man I did not.

  “You seriously gonna take a lady up to that old pallet in a barn loft? Boy, ain’t you got no class?” the older man called out as Mace rounded the front of the truck and I slid to the ground from the passenger seat.

  “It was good enough to conceive you!” Mace called back, winking at me.

  Fenris laughed and the old man chuckled as we walked up.

  “Vyking, Aspen, meet Raven. Raven, this is Vyking, Fenris’ dad. Fenris you know, and Aspen here is Fen’s lady.”

  “Hi, it’s nice to meet you,” Aspen said cordially and held out her hand to me. I took a big step forward and shook it.

  “Nice to meet you, too,” I said.

  “Aspen made your tea set,” Mace said, and I smiled really big.

  “Oh, it’s just beautiful. Thank you so much,” I crowed.

  “I’m so glad you liked it!” Aspen said. “Thank you for what you did for Mace!”

  I looked over to Mace and felt like my smile was ridiculously cheesy with how much I cared for him by this point. I felt like every time we were together; he gave another lost piece of me back. Like a crow gifting shiny things to a human that’d helped. Except the shiny bright pieces that he gave me were invaluable, an incalculable gift.

  “What are y’all still doing up?” Mace asked.

  “Oh, you know, shootin’ the shit,” Vyking declared, and I bit my lips together to keep from giggling.

  “Being fucking nosey,” Fenris corrected him, and I did laugh then.

  “Can you blame us?” Aspen asked. “It’s always Raven this and Raven that,” she said looking at Mace who, by God, was turning red in the overhead porch light.

  “Right, you need to use the restroom?” he asked me, changing the subject.

  “Ah, sure,” I said.

  “This way.” He led me into the house. “We can use this one down here.” He flipped on the light for me. “Back door is always unlocked so we have access.”

  “That’s the door we just came through?” I asked, leaning a shoulder against the doorframe from inside the bathroom.

  “Yep.”

  “K.” I smiled, and he grinned back.

  “Feels weird having you here.”

  “Weird bad, or weird good?” I asked softly.

  His smile grew as he leaned forward slowly. “Weird good,” he whispered against my lips. “Weird definitely good.” He kissed me and I melted all the way down to my toes.

  “I’ll hurry up,” I whispered against his lips and he drew back.

  “K.”

  I rushed through freshening up and he was waiting for me on the back porch with everyone else. They seemed to be giving him a hard time but lightly.

  “Alright, you two. Sleep tight,” Vyking declared with a chuckle.

  “Goodnight,” I bid them, and Mace led me across the grass to the stairs on the back side of the barn leading to the second floor.

  “It’s cold out here, but look at those stars,” I murmured, and he stopped with me to look up. “So many of them.”

  “Yeah, you don’t get as much in the city.”

  I breathed out the cold and cleansing air in a plume.

  “It’s warmer inside. Not by much, but it is,” he murmured, taking my large macrame tote from me and hoisting it up on his shoulder.

  “K,” I said, drifting after him to the stairs, soaking in a last glimpse of those stars in the sky.

  He shut the door behind me to the big loft and I blinked letting my eyes adjust to the even darker gloom. There were rows and rows of shelves holding pottery in various stages of completion.

  “Stay right there,” he said. “I’ll get the lantern lit.”

  I waited as he moved through his familiar space, through the shelves to the front of the barn under what appeared to be a bank of windows. There was a hiss, and then a soft wuff and the glow that permeated the loft was one that resembled a captive star, all fierce white radiance that could only be a camp lantern.

  I picked my way carefully around the shelves to find him.

  His space was as sparse as mine, just a mattress on the floor and a row of crates on their side to use as shelves, holding his clothes and other miscellaneous things.

  I smiled.

  “I could get used to this,” I declared. I loved it.

  “If I have anything to say about it, you won’t have to, babe. It’s fun for a night or two, but for months? Not so much.”

  He stood up and turned, resting his hands on my hips lightly.

  “Well, I like it. It appeals to me greatly.”

  He smiled and stepped a bit closer. “I can appreciate a woman who likes the simple things,” he said.

  “Yeah?” I asked, softly.

  “Yeah,” he said with certainty. He kissed me then, and I swooned into him, my arms going around his waist as he gathered me close.

  “You up for an orgasm or two?” he asked me, and I hesitated.

  “It was a long day,” I murmured, deciding that while I was up for sex, I also needed to see…

  “Hey, that’s okay,” he said without missing a beat. He kissed my forehead and caressed my cheek with his thumb, and I felt myself go lax with relief. An end to an anxiety I hadn’t even known was riding me. “Let’s get you undressed and into bed, yeah? I want to hold you,” he murmured.

  I smiled and nodded and that’s what we did. Got into what passed for PJs for the both of us and cuddled close in the nest of sleeping bags he used for blankets.

  “I ask you something?” he asked softly when we’d been settled for a time after he’d doused the light. I lay, my head on his chest, staring at the deep, dark blue sky out the dusty window and the smattering of stars across its surface.

  “You can ask me anything,” I murmured.

  “You know I don’t want you to think badly of me,” he said, and
I tore my eyes from the sky outside and tipped my head to look up at him.

  He rearranged his to look down at me and I blinked and said, “Why would I ever?”

  “That’s what I wanted to ask you,” he said solemnly. “This… this Max guy.”

  My breath stilled in my chest.

  “What about him?” I asked uneasily.

  “You want I should take care of him?” he asked.

  I swallowed hard and cuddled into his side and said, “He’s too powerful, too connected. I would be afraid for you,” I said.

  “Nothing to be afraid of here,” he said, and stroked my hair. I closed my eyes.

  “I wish he were dead,” I told him honestly. “I don’t want to be afraid anymore, and I really don’t want him to do this to anyone else.”

  I shuddered and Mace held me close, making a soothing, “Shhh” that ruffled my hair.

  “He won’t,” he said. “I promise.”

  “Don’t make promises you can’t keep, baby,” I said to him. “They’re the worst kind. The kind to break the heart the most.”

  He was quiet for a time and finally said, “Okay.”

  He held me and my mind raced for a good long while. Finally, I asked, “Could you really do it?”

  He chuckled and kissed my hair.

  “Go to sleep, Raven. This conversation?”

  “Yeah?”

  “It never happened.”

  I nodded against him.

  “Okay.”

  “You’re safe, you know,” he said. “As long as I’m around, as long as the club’s around… you’re safe now.”

  I closed my eyes.

  I so desperately wanted to believe that.

  15

  Mace…

  Fenris was all business. We didn’t leave the farm until all the animals were fed, their water troughs seen to, and he checked on several of the fattest nanny goats, close to bursting with their kids. It was odd to see him like this, concerned about the animals.