The Company of Glass

by Tricia Sullivan

  ‘What are you talking about? Kassien has a mission.’

  ‘Kassien has a Clan. I told you: Ysse’s ways may seem strong to you, but Clan ties run deeper. It is by those that I call Kassien now.’

  ‘It’s out of the question.’

  ‘For you maybe, although I’d be happy to have all of you, even the one-armed Seahawk. But Kassien is ours.’

  Istar laughed nervously. ‘Kassien’s will is his own.’

  ‘He is not Free. He is Clan. We only ever lent him to Jai Khalar, which now owes us scores of men. Kassien is bound by Clan law, just as you are. Just as we all are.’

  Realizing that she was about to have an argument with Hallen, Istar glanced around to see who might be listening. The feasting area was all but empty now. Pallo had seated himself on her other side and was leaning eagerly to catch every word of the exchange. While they had been talking, the feast had been winding down, the food cleared away. More alcohol had been found, together with celebration herbs and other indulgences, which the old men of the Clan began to ply amongst themselves. The children had been sent to bed and the younger women had gone; but now Siaren appeared, rolling along the ground an enormous bass drum, highly decorated with Clan iconography.

  Istar hesitated, and Hallen said smoothly, ‘But you are our honoured guest, and tonight all of you are to be welcomed as members of the Bear Clan.’

  Before she could gainsay him, he had risen. He went to assist the Clan’s older women with the many instruments they were now bringing into the fire circles. The shadows were deep and dusky: it was midnight. Siaren was handed a large mallet and she began to beat a slow, steady rhythm on the bass drum. Gradually others joined her. Istar had a sinking feeling. Xiriel sat down nearby.

  ‘What’s going on?’ Pallo whispered. ‘What are all the drums for?’

  Xiriel elbowed him and hissed, ‘The courtship dances. Be quiet.

  Istar saw Pallo’s throat ripple as he swallowed. Xiriel was right. The musicians were all mothers or grandmothers, and they gathered now in the traditional semicircle. These dances were always conducted privately, and ritual varied from Clan to Clan, so Istar had never witnessed Bear courtship dances before. She was surprised at this display now, and only after the music had begun did it sink in to her consciousness what Siaren must have in mind. She was dismayed because she wasn’t sure of Bear Clan customs, but courtship dancing was no casual affair. Too late she realized that the Clan was trying to steal her men; that this was hardly surprising considering that they had none of their own; and that she should have been on guard against this and made it clear that it wouldn’t be allowed.

  Had Kassien known? She looked over at him, but his eyes were absorbed in the sight of the approaching dancers.

  It was too late now. She could not protest without giving offence; and anyway, if Kassien opposed her, her protests would probably do no good. She swallowed and sat back, watching the drama unfold with a sinking feeling.

  The dancers began to appear. They had been painted with phosphorescent pigment that made them shimmer every which way they moved. They were wearing nothing else, and their hair fell wild around their faces as they complied with the music, which sounded harsh and dissonant to Istar’s ears.

  All of the musicians were female, but it was up to the audience – the men – to set the beat with their hands and feet. Despite her misgivings, Istar was enthralled at first. Unlike Seahawk ceremonies, the Bear dance did not tell a story. The shapes that each dancer made with her body were startling and dramatic: sometimes all tendons and strength, like a bow; sometimes soft as drifted sand. For some the music was an exterior presence, something unnatural to be coped with, and the effort of the dance was apparent. For others the music was a moving inside, a manifestation of some secret part of themselves. The latter was the case for Dhien. She was entirely unselfconscious, showing no embarrassment at the circle of men watching her. On the contrary, she attuned herself to her spectators’ reactions, accepted them all, and responded through her dance. There was a magical quality in the way she made each of them feel she was dancing for him. Even Istar felt it, and she was no man.

  But sooner or later these dances always got down to business, and in this case Dhien had already made up her mind whom she wanted. She was not alone in her preference, but she made the most stylish approach. She drifted along the circumference of the circle, letting herself be grazed by fingertips that came away shining; meeting eyes; touching foreheads and then whirling away. When she got to Kassien, there was a crowd of other women. The drumbeats quickened and were punctuated by wild, birdlike cries.

  By now it was not so amusing; in fact, the spectacle was almost enough to make Istar sick. A horde of eager females swarmed around her companions, oozing fertility. Pentar snagged two right away, and Pallo was dragged off into the bushes by an entire posse. Xiriel held himself aloof for a long time, but finally allowed a willowy young girl to sit on his lap and play with his hair. Although no one was particularly looking at her, Istar felt ashamed. She wanted to leave, yet she could not take her eyes off Kassien and Dhien.

  Dhien’s rivals had fallen away, either outmanoeuvred or exhausted. She was dancing now for Kassien alone, and his fingers glowed with her courtship paint where he had managed to touch her. His lips also sparkled. Her body now swayed from side to side, her pelvis in constant motion as her movements became frankly sexual. When she swept close enough to Kassien he would touch whatever part of her he could reach; then, teasingly, she retreated. Yet each time she approached, she stayed a little longer. The drums played on. She gyrated just out of his range, then inched towards him with little jumps. He ran his hands over her breasts, capturing one and covering it with his mouth. The music quickened and there were whoops and yips of encouragement. Dhien trembled and cried out, then tore herself from him and continued to dance, her hair now in total disarray. Kassien looked like a man possessed; as long as she was still dancing, the rules forbade him from leaving his place in the circle. Either she would have to draw him away from the fires, as Pallo had been drawn away, or he would have to make her forget the dance and stop. Otherwise, he was forbidden to move or restrain her. Dhien came in for another pass. She had pulled out all the stops now, and the drums beat furiously. The remaining men clapped and shouted.

  She bent forward. His hands reached for her breasts, and her hair fell around him. The music paused; there was a shout; it resumed. He drew her closer. She continued to dance, but her movements were restricted now, for Kassien had leaned forward, resting his head against her belly and drawing his hands up her thighs. Her torso folded over him and her hands stretched down his back. There was a suspenseful pause – and then the beat went on. She turned her head to one side and her face was transfixed with desire. One of Kassien’s hands curled around her haunch; the other reached its destination between her legs. Her hips began to move rhythmically against him. The drums stopped. Dhien did not. Her feet were still; only her pelvis moved.

  She had ceased to dance. The audience roared. Kassien, triumphant, stood and picked her up. Now the music resumed, on a different beat, and the remainder of the single dancers returned to the fire circle, revived, to surround the couple. Istar did not wait to see whether Kassien intended to copulate with Dhien right then and there. She took the change in the scene as an opportunity to slip away, hoping to leave unnoticed. To her consternation, the two girls who had attended her earlier followed, making offers. Barely biting back her anger, she dismissed them, wondering if Dhien had put them up to it to insult her. Then she reminded herself that she had no right nor reason to be insulted. Custom was custom, she was an Honorary male, and there was nothing she could do about it.

  The night had all but run out, so she didn’t sleep. When it was light enough, she went over their provisions and gear, making small repairs and taking stock of what they had. Saxifrage and Pebble cheerfully kept her company – excluded, it appeared, from Dhien’s tent, which had been tied shut from within. When Kassien
emerged to relieve himself, Istar waylaid him, before he could settle back in bed with his prize. ‘Don’t get too comfortable,’ she said. ‘Time is short. We leave today.’

  He rubbed his eyes, face, hair. He was blushing and smiling. He scuffed a toe in the dirt. ‘Look, can you give me a bit of time with Dhien? We’ll talk about this after breakfast.’

  ‘I think we should talk now. Don’t look at me like that. This is an assignment, not a family reunion. Or a wedding.’

  He glanced at her sharply. ‘All right,’ he said seriously. ‘Let’s talk.’ He led her off away from the tents. They bumped into Pallo and Xiriel coming up from the river. Istar didn’t ask where Pentar was; she was glad to be rid of him.

  ‘I can’t go with you to Jai Pendu,’ Kassien said definitively. ‘I’m going to stay with my Clan. Protect them. I’ve thought hard about this and I know it’s the right thing.’

  ‘Thought hard while you were pearl-diving between Dhien’s legs?’ Istar wondered. She was being crude deliberately, hoping it would hide her jealousy.

  He laughed. ‘Who could begrudge me, though? Istar, listen to me. These people are vulnerable. They need me.’

  ‘I need you too. We need you.’

  He said nothing.

  ‘Kassien, this isn’t about what you want. It’s about duty. You can’t say that all bets are off now, because no one ordered you to take on this quest. You have committed to it and now your commitment is being tested. You enjoy wearing your rank, don’t you? You enjoy the privileges it brings you. But there’s a price to pay, and this is it.’

  ‘I have a duty to my Clan also.’

  ‘Is that truly why you are doing this? Or is there some other reason?’

  He looked away.

  ‘I have no hold over you, Kassien. None of us has any hold over the others. I won’t try to stop you. But consider what you are doing to us, who must go on.’ She gestured to Xiriel and Pallo, who had apparently overheard them and came blearily to join them, hastily donning clothes and rubbing eyes.

  ‘That’s just it,’ Kassien said heatedly. ‘Don’t go on. Come with us. We’ll start over, somewhere far away from the Knowledge and the Sekk. My Clan would gladly accept you all.’

  Istar could feel the relief forming in the minds of the others as they considered an alternative to the road to Jai Pendu, to the Floating Lands of which Hallen remembered so much horror, to the chaos and death that were surely to come …

  ‘I will go alone if I must,’ she said. ‘I am not afraid.’

  It was morning. Their shadows snaked along the ground, and the wind stirred the reeds. Birds could be heard but not seen. Impatient, Istar said, ‘You lot discuss it among yourselves, all right? I’m going regardless of what you decide; make no mistake about that.’

  She strode off towards the river, wanting to make a dramatic exit; then stopped. She could hear them talking. She started to go forward again, stopped again, and crept back along the path. They were having a heated discussion.

  ‘She’s Chyko’s daughter,’ Kassien said. ‘And she’s damned good. But we’re all going to be killed.’

  ‘She got us this far,’ Pallo said.

  ‘Pallo, you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. I admit she has something about her – maybe it’s the mystique of an Honorary – and it’s true she’s scrappy. She’s a smart girl. That doesn’t mean she’s going to survive the Floating Lands. We have to be realistic.’

  ‘You can’t say that to her,’ Pallo interrupted. ‘You’ll only make her worse. She’ll take it as a challenge.’

  ‘I don’t want to be the one to tell her,’ Xiriel muttered.

  ‘It has to come from you, Xiriel.’

  ‘She won’t take it from me,’ Kassien agreed. ‘She’s angry at me because I won’t tell her what she wants to hear.’

  ‘That’s not why she’s angry,’ Xiriel contradicted, and then bit off his words.

  ‘I’ll go with Istar.’ It was Pentar’s voice. Shit, Istar thought. Just the one I don’t want trailing at my heels attracting Sekk like raw meat for dogs. ‘I will represent Anatar as well, for though he lies ill he would go with Istar if he could.’

  Xiriel said, ‘This is all getting too emotional. If I had my Carry Eye, I’d show you the paths I’ve found through the Floating Lands and we could—’

  Istar turned and left. There was no point in eavesdropping. She went to the river to wait for them to make their decisions.

  It was late afternoon before Pallo came to find her, and he was in a hurry. ‘Kassien’s coming,’ he said. ‘Xiriel talked sense into him. And Hallen is upset, so we have to leave right away. Come on!’

  He grabbed her hand and ran towards the camp. Istar slid free and followed more slowly. She had begun to tremble. She was suddenly afraid.

  They found Kassien and Xiriel beside the newly repaired wagons. They were sorting through their gear while a handful of girls and young boys looked on. Hallen and Siaren were nowhere to be seen; apparently the travellers were being officially shunned, but the few Bears who disobeyed their elders’ orders now piled gifts and food on them, most of which were useless. Xiriel patiently put the gifts aside and calmly organized what they needed for the next leg of the journey. Kassien avoided Istar’s gaze. He looked as if the whole world were against him, and when they were packing and he tossed her a sharpening stone, he threw it at her head. It stung her palm when she caught it.

  Dhien was even worse. When she came to outfit them with perishable supplies, her eyes were heavy from lack of sleep and reddened from crying. She was still beautiful.

  Kassien took himself off to do some other errand, acting as if he found it too painful to even see Dhien. But his lover was slightly calmer. Dhien passed Istar some rolled spidersilk bandages and a bundle of medicines.

  ‘You hate me,’ Istar said.

  The Bear daughter stopped and looked at her searchingly. Thoughts passed across her face too fleetingly to be traced. ‘No,’ she said finally, her mouth snapping closed around the word so quickly it was as if she had not meant for it to escape. Then she sighed. ‘I don’t hate you. But I think you are very foolish. You live in the same dream world as Kassien. And you’re too young to have such responsibilities.’

  ‘I have no choice in my age.’

  Dhien shrugged and continued packing, but a barrier between them seemed to have slipped down. ‘He’s been in love with me for years,’ she remarked. ‘I always liked him. But I was waiting to see how he would grow up. Whether he would grow up. Soldiers often don’t. Especially officers.’

  Istar said nothing. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear this.

  ‘I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years. He’s changed. And, to be honest with you, in our Clan there are five women for every man in my generation. I can’t afford to be too selective.’ She laughed. ‘You think I sound calculating, don’t you? That’s what I mean when I say you are too young. You just haven’t seen anything yet of life.’

  Istar ignored Dhien’s condescension. It hurt to think that Kassien was infatuated with someone who saw him in such pragmatic terms. She was wondering what to say when Dhien suddenly leaned across the baggage and grasped her hands. Her expression was pleading. ‘Send him back to me.’

  Sympathy welled up in Istar from an unexpected source. She didn’t say anything, but she met Dhien’s gaze for a long moment. Then she went on with packing. Pentar had appeared at her elbow and she was suddenly furious with his constant shadowing. He had been getting on her nerves for some time, and now he was the perfect target for her pent-up frustration. She turned and seized him by the arm, dragging him away from the others.

  ‘Pentar, you and I are going to have a conversation. Come with me.’

  She led him well away from the crowd. ‘Tell me what it was like to be Enslaved. Tell me what happened to you so I can be sure you’re over it.’

  He shook his head violently. ‘Can’t. Mustn’t.’

  ‘Then, leave me. I can’t trust
you if I don’t know what you are or where you’ve been.’

  ‘I owe you my life, and the lives of those I would have killed if you hadn’t killed the Sekk who Enslaved me.’

  ‘Pallo did that.’

  ‘Only with your help.’

  ‘This song doesn’t sound any sweeter now than it did before. Let me reason with you. I have no use for you. I don’t want you at my back. You say that you want to repay this debt, but you’re a liability. Besides which, you were always one of Ajiko’s boys, weren’t you? He will not be happy with you if you come with me, assuming you survive. Which you probably won’t.’

  She glanced at him to see if her words were having any effect. He smiled at her.

  ‘Pentar, it’s not funny! We’re going to the Floating Lands – does that mean nothing to you?’

  ‘Nothing but trouble,’ he said seriously. ‘We should go with the Bear Clan to the Islands.’

  ‘You really are asking to be pissed on, Pentar,’ Istar said heatedly.

  ‘Sorry.’

  ‘You annoy me like a sticky burr, and you’re about as useful.’

  ‘You don’t know that. Try me.’

  She snorted. ‘I beat you once and I could beat you again.’

  ‘I was Enslaved,’ he said. ‘How could I fight under the Sekk spell? My comrades would not have fallen to your party either, had they been free. We were mad.’

  ‘Let’s test it, then,’ Istar suggested, brightening. ‘Let’s fight.’

  ‘Absolutely not,’ Pentar refused. ‘I won’t fight you.’

  ‘Then I’ll have to kill you,’ Istar concluded.

  ‘I guess you will.’

  ‘Come – the others will support me.’ Still gripping his arm, she dragged him unresisting back the way they had come. When they reached the others, Xiriel and Kassien had all the packs ready to go. Kassien said he saw no point in their fighting among themselves.

  ‘We’ll use wooden swords,’ she said. ‘No blood. A training contest. If I win, Pentar stays here. If he wins, he’s free to do as he pleases. Fair?’