Only Human

by Meredith Katz

  Theo's gaze lowered. He seemed reluctant for a moment, but more like he was struggling with himself than actually uninterested. "No," he admitted. "I want to keep going."

  Saul drew a shaky breath. "Cool," he said.

  "But—"

  "But?" Saul asked, hesitating with his fingers brushing the edge of Theo's hand.

  "No," Theo said. He let out a breath, then smiled at Saul, took his hand. "It's nothing."

  Saul clasped it gratefully and then took advantage of the opportunity to tug Theo back over to the couch. He meant to move slowly, to match Theo's uncertainty, but Theo's hand tightened around Saul's and he began to move faster until he almost dragged Saul down onto the couch with him.

  It was, Saul thought, a great idea. As positions went, it was significantly better than standing, Theo half-sprawled to get closer to Saul's height, Saul leaning against his side. Their lips fit back together, and Saul let out an enthusiastic groan as one of Theo's large hands cupped the back of his head. Saul surged up to meet him, the sound of their breaths and the wet movement of mouths on each other loud in the room.

  They were still way too far apart for his liking. He tried to shift, squirm…

  "Fuck it," he muttered under his breath, and threw a leg over Theo's stomach.

  Theo yelped in surprise, hands flying up to catch Saul's hips. Saul shivered immediately at both the strength in him and the strain in his thighs. Theo was wider than Saul had expected. It forced his legs further apart than he was used to, but that felt good, made arousal catch harder in him. As he leaned up to kiss Theo again, chest pressed to his, he let himself grind against him. Not much, not too far, not so that they couldn't stop if Theo wanted—just a little slow and regular press of his hips, wanting to feel him more.

  Theo groaned and pressed a hand against Saul's back, pushed him against himself more roughly. "Feels good," he muttered, muffled by Saul's shoulder. Saul almost laughed, embarrassed and pleased. He was barely even touching Theo, was grinding too high up for it to be giving Theo any relief—wanted to, but couldn't and kiss him at the same time. He swallowed the sound before he could voice it, because it wasn't something to laugh over. Theo was enjoying that Saul was enjoying it, and, Saul thought dizzily, how hot was that?

  Saul kissed him again, still moving, and Theo's hands wandered down his back to grab his ass. He gasped into the kiss, but the motion was more supportive than aggressive, keeping him up so he could grind more easily. It was one of those little thoughtful gestures that was so heartbreakingly Theo. Saul broke the kiss to mouth at Theo's jaw instead, teeth scraping there lightly as he nibbled down to his throat.

  And hesitated there. He'd never noticed a lover's pulse before, not really, not in a way that it'd stand out to him, but he noticed the lack of one so strongly that he was sure the only reason it never registered before was how expected it was. Theo's throat was strong, skin shifting as Theo moved, but there was no flutter under Saul's lips.

  And then Theo groaned again and it didn't matter, because that pushed Saul past his sudden uncanny discomfort. He couldn't even say what about it made things feel right again. The sound of Theo's voice, the way Theo's neck vibrated as he made that sound. Maybe just the way he leaned his head back to give Saul more room, tacit permission to do whatever.

  Saul caught his breath, staring down at Theo instead of pursuing it. "Bedroom," he said. "If you want."

  "Are you sure—?"

  "We're not teenagers," he pointed out. "We don't have to make out frantically on the couch like—like this. I have a nice bed. You'll like it." His voice came out thin and breathless, and he laughed a little at himself for the sound of it. He pulled away from Theo slowly, legs shaking slightly from the strain as he forced himself to stand, thighs aching, and held a hand out to Theo.

  For a moment, Theo just looked at it like he didn't recognize what was in front of him. Then, slowly, he took it, and—although he probably didn't need any help—let Saul pull him up. "Yeah," he said, gazing at him so fixedly that Saul felt strangely embarrassed. "I bet I will."

  Saul led Theo to the bedroom, but had only just entered it when Theo wrapped arms around him from behind in a sudden embrace. He felt a rush of helpless warmth at the touch, twisting in his arms to meet him in a kiss—and was caught off guard as Theo lifted him into it. He groaned in shock and with a stab of sudden arousal. He'd never been lifted completely off the ground like he weighed nothing, like his height was meaningless. Theo's strength could have felt threatening, but it didn't.

  All he wanted to use it for was this, to kiss Saul evenly.

  Saul moaned into the kiss, clutching at Theo's hair, mussing it between his hands as Theo shuffled with him slowly back towards the bed before easing him down onto it. Theo knelt on the floor, watching Saul as he struggled to get himself back upright. When he thought he could manage without fucking it up, Saul raised his hands to his shirt and began to unbutton it, breathing hard.

  Theo's gaze jerked down to that immediately. With a little noise, apparently involuntary, he ran his fingers over Saul's chest, dipping into the open V, slipping inside without waiting, rubbing his fingertips against a nipple. Saul hadn't thought they could possibly get harder, but apparently he was wrong. It felt electric as Theo caught at it, pinching and tugging carefully.

  Saul hauled his shirt off as soon as he could. His skin felt tight all over with anticipation, already oversensitive from his illness. "Fuck, your hands are nice," he breathed.

  "You're gorgeous," Theo murmured back, which Saul distractedly thought was one-upping him in some way, but couldn't find it in himself to mind.

  Instead of finding something to say to that, he shifted to open Theo's shirt until he could spread his hands across that broad sallow chest. The hair there was sparse, and Saul rubbed his palms against the patch in the center of his chest just to feel the difference in texture against his over-sensitive fingers, before spreading his hands out to find both Theo's nipples, giving them a sharp tug.

  Theo groaned. "Keep that up," he murmured against Saul's chest, "and I don't know that I'll be much good to you."

  "I don't believe that for a minute," Saul whispered back, voice hoarse and raspy and thick with need. "It being good for you is good for me."

  "It's been a long time," Theo said with a sort of mournful happiness. He sat back, tugging his tie off with two fingers and then tossing it over the side of the bed to join Saul's shirt.

  Saul leaned on one arm, watching him. "How long?" he asked. He'd thought that Theo's moments of caution and uncertainty was because of him, but perhaps…

  Theo's expression, as he looked up at Saul, answered it before Theo himself did. "Never in this body," Theo said, quiet. He finished undoing his own shirt and dropped it off the bed, shoulders hunching as he rose to sit on the bed with Saul.

  This body… Saul's gaze wandered down Theo's chest. It was firm and strong, but the sight of those patches were unavoidable. One line of darkened flesh cut one nipple down the center; another lighter patch spread in blots across his stomach. It was obvious that Theo was into this, chest rising and falling in short, shallow breaths. But it wouldn't be his lack of interest that would keep him from having sex. Saul reached out, running his fingertips down the edge of one of those patches on his stomach, trailing down to his waistline…

  And distracted himself as he looked further down. "Fuck," he breathed aloud, and reached out to touch.

  Theo had seemed posed to flinch away from whatever reaction Saul might have, but wasn't expecting that. He groaned, eyes half-closing. Saul couldn't help but lick his lips as he pressed his palm against Theo's cock through his pants. Even confined as it was, blocked behind layers of cloth, he could tell how big it was, thick against his palm, long as he followed the path of it down into his pant leg.

  Given Theo's overall size, he shouldn't have been surprised. He let out a sudden laugh.

  "What?" Theo asked. His voice was strained, and not entirely with arousal.

 
"'Little man'," Saul quoted back at him. "You must be kidding me." He grinned a bit dazedly and curved his hand, stroking Theo lightly through his pants, feeling the shape of him with what he hoped was obvious pleasure, glancing up at Theo.

  Theo's breath rushed out in response, but he smiled back, lips trembling a little. "Really? Just that? You don't…" He hesitated. "I'm not… bothering you?"

  "I'm really not having any trouble here," Saul said. His gaze was drawn back down, and he got the best grip he could on Theo through the cloth, tugging a bit. "Really not. Damn."

  Groaning, Theo's head dropped forward, bangs falling into his eyes. He pushed them back distractedly. "You shouldn't—if you do that, I won't be able to hold off—"

  "Seriously?" Saul asked, wide-eyed. "That'd be awesome. Haven't got someone that worked up before."

  Almost confused, Theo searched his face, still hesitant—then abruptly relaxed into a positively dazzling smile, exhaling a breath and Saul's name along with it. He leaned in to kiss him again, pulling Saul closer, dropping his own hand to the front of Saul's pants. Saul let out an involuntary groan, rocking up into the touch, eyes half-closed as he just felt that.

  Suddenly, he felt flustered about what he'd just assured Theo of, because he felt himself reaching the edge already. But he didn't try to stop him, didn't resist at all, just rolled his hips to grind against that large cool hand.

  Unexpectedly, Theo unzipped his pants, the zipper's mild buzz and vibration shaking him, earning a shudder and a loud moan. Theo's hand slipped into his briefs, curled coldly around his cock, and Saul was coming, jerking and letting out a strangled shout into Theo's mouth.

  For a moment, Saul was entirely caught up in the sensation, frozen as he shook through his orgasm, cock spurting and twitching in Theo's touch like it wouldn't ever stop. Theo was kissing him in the same rhythm as his strokes, and that was almost too much to handle. Saul had to break the kiss, dropping his head back and sucking air as Theo's fingers lightened their pressure around him.

  "Give me a moment," he gasped. "Just a little and I'll be fine, I want more—"

  "Yeah," Theo said, something a little strange in his voice even though he was smiling, "I… I know you do." He pulled his hand away, wiping it off lightly on the blankets, and then took hold of Saul's pants, gently tugging them off as Saul lifted his hips to help.

  Next were his boxers. They parted wetly from his skin, stuck there with come, and he let out an involuntary shiver at the feeling of cool air on his semen-slick skin.

  "You really are handsome," Theo murmured to him, low and hoarse, as Saul belatedly came back to himself to remember that Theo was still waiting for some of the same. He grabbed Theo's belt and began struggling to get it open while Theo kept talking to him. "You're lovely, you're—"

  "Ah, hell…" Saul breathed at him, just trying to find some response, anything, still catching his breath. There was no way that Theo couldn't see the black marks on his stomach and chest, the spreading curse infection on his skin. "I'm not right now—"

  "That's not you," Theo said. "You're fine as you are." He drew his fingertips lightly along the length of Saul's cock again, rubbing them through the come sticking there. His hand curved when he reached the base again, fingers rolling across and behind his balls, eliciting an overstimulated shiver from Saul's whole body. A gentle fingertip passed lightly against his entrance.

  "Damn. Hang on," Saul muttered, letting go of Theo's belt and stretching uncomfortably across him to reach his bedside table. There was a tube of lube stuffed in the drawer there, and he handed it back to Theo with an awkward half-smile.

  Theo took it with a return smile, pulling his hand away from Saul as he popped the lid up. He squeezed some onto his fingertips, rubbing them between gently. "It's got a nice smell."

  "Huh?" Saul hadn't thought about it much scent-wise. "Yeah, I guess. I haven't noticed?"

  "My sense of smell's pretty strong. You smell good right now," Theo added, and grinned down at him, leaning over him and pressing slick fingers to his opening again, rubbing gently.

  Saul felt his cheeks heat. "I—that's kind of—"

  "Am I weird?" Theo asked, and slid the tip of one broad finger into him, pressing it slowly deeper.

  Saul started to answer, then abruptly couldn't, as an electric pulse shot through him—not arousal, though that was there, the thick feeling of his finger rubbing up along the soft walls inside, touching his insides—but something else, a strange shock. It took him a moment to realize what it was, the fire racing along his skin. Signs lit up on his body—the tracer Dr. Richardson had put on him—and then it dawned.

  Theo had put a finger into him. The curse was broken.

  Somehow, in all of this, he'd forgotten that would happen.

  Something of the realization must have shown on his face—was written all over it, more likely—because Theo hesitated, finger just resting inside Saul, not really moving. He smiled at him, that withdrawn, polite smile of his, and said, "I'm glad. That's a relief, huh?"

  "Yeah," Saul breathed, shaky, fighting the tears that threatened to spring, embarrassingly, to his eyes. "Yeah, a huge relief—"

  "Do you want to stop?" Theo asked gently. There was no pressure in his tone, although his cock was still visibly hard inside his pants, pressed against the back of Saul's hand.

  Saul blinked away tears at the shock that rushed through him. "No," he said. "Fuck that. Fuck stopping. This isn't about that. I want you. You're gorgeous and wonderful, and I'm completely taken by you and I want you."

  Theo made a strange sound. "I'm not. You've seen me. I'm grotesque. It was written all over your face when you first saw me—"

  "Have you seen my face when I look at you now?" Saul asked, almost taken aback. "You're lovely. You're fine… You're fine as you are. What your body's made of, okay, yes, when I first saw you I was freaked out, but it's what lets you be here. Alive. With me. And I find you one of the hottest people I've ever met, okay, inside and out." He yanked Theo's zipper down as if to punctuate his statement.

  Theo made a startled noise at the release of pressure. "Saul." He packed a whole lot of feelings into Saul's name, which Saul found he rather liked and wanted to hear more of. He shoved Theo's pants down a little, and his cock sprung out them like a living thing. A massive living thing, a mottled dark gray and as thick around as Saul's wrist. Which, he had to admit, wasn't saying much as his wrists were scrawny, but it still made an impression. He made a little sound in his throat as he looked at it.

  "Are you really—" Theo was breathlessly flustered. "You don't have to, I'm fine with—"

  Saul slowly shifted from where he was lying on his elbow and sat up fully. Theo slid his finger from him to make that possible, and he felt himself tighten a little around it as it did, clutching, reluctant to let go. But he needed a better position.

  "You have no idea," Saul said, looking up at him and trying to put everything he was feeling on his face. "How much I want you. Please take your pants off."

  Finally, Theo relaxed. He laughed again, that soft, almost wondering sound he seemed to make whenever he was pleased, and shuffled over a little, sliding his pants down and off. Saul took the opportunity to help, tugging and twisting to yank them off Theo and toss them off the side of the bed rumpled and with his boxers still in them. One of Theo's socks came off, and the other stayed on—Saul found he didn't care enough to do anything about that and grinned up at him.

  "What do you want to—" Theo began.

  "I'm going to suck you," Saul said, before he could even finish asking. "… If you don't have any objections."

  Another laugh. "I think," Theo said, "that it would be very, very difficult for me to have any objections to any of this at all."

  "Good," Saul said, and curled his fingers around Theo's cock.

  It was thick enough that they barely joined, the fingertip of his middle finger only just touching the tip of his thumb, and he felt his own cock twitch again, just a little. Too early to t
hink about that again anyway, though he shifted at the stirring arousal. Still on his side, he draped himself over Theo's lap, pushing his dick down enough to drag his tongue over the head.

  Theo's cock was already a little slick with precum, sweet-tasting fluid that again didn't seem quite human, but he could hardly bring himself to mind. He let his mouth roam, experimenting, making himself familiar with its taste, its feel, its size. Theo let out a rewarding, throaty moan, and leaned over Saul a little. He thought for an alarmed moment that Theo might push down on his head, but, no, that wouldn't have been like Theo at all. He just slid his hand down Saul's back, along the curve of his ass, and bent it to slide a finger into him from behind, slick and easy.

  Saul shivered at the feeling of it. Arousal was growing again, almost too soon for comfort, and he wanted to give as good as he was getting. He turned his head, taking a breath as he stretched his lips around the tip of Theo's cock.

  Theo made a very gratifying sound.

  Saul had a moment to just feel the thick head of that cock in his mouth, to get used to the pressure, to rub his tongue up under it experimentally, and then Theo was pushing a second finger in, his broad digits stretching just a little, just enough to feel really good, hot and tight. It wasn't the best angle, but it felt good, especially after his sharp, fast orgasm earlier. This was a slower build. Saul groaned and then moaned again at how muffled it sounded around Theo.

  Spurred on by that, Saul swallowed and tried to take him deeper—shoved as much of his cock as he could into his mouth, hand stroking the rest while he rubbed his tongue around the head, pressing it up against the roof of his mouth. Saul had to draw back for air after a few moments, his breath rough and unsteady. A thick strand of precum connected his lips to Theo's dick still, making him feel, feverishly, like he couldn't stand to be parted from Theo's cock.

  Theo pulled his fingers out, and Saul watched as he poured more lube across them, rubbed them against each other, and then pushed three in. The stretch almost burned now, but in a good way, and he was more than slick enough to handle it, moaning and tilting his hips up to get a better angle. With another swallow, he fitted his mouth back around Theo's cock, closing his eyes and just swallowing him down as best as he could.