Just Breathe

by Heather Allen

  She shakes her head, “No most dwellings are water all the time. I am able to do this because of my job.”

  “Your job?”

  She tells me, “Yes, as I said before, I am a guide; I guide new mer-people to our city so I am able to greet them with some familiar surroundings before they are fully submerged.”

  I suddenly have a queasy feeling; it sounds so final, submerged.

  I persist again, “When can I see Jack?”

  She looks a little uneasy. “Ever, you have to understand Jack had a job as well and because you have made your choice, his job pertaining to you is over.”

  My heart skips and my mouth gapes open, “What, will I ever see him again?”

  She looks down sadly and shrugs her shoulders, “I really can’t answer that.”

  She rolls her eyes, “He wasn’t supposed to get involved with you in the first place. It’s his fault for letting you know about him.”

  I am so tired of everyone talking around in circles. I wish someone would just lay it all out there.

  I am getting very frustrated with Jack’s sister. I decide to approach things in a different way.

  Carefully I say, “Okay Amber, I want to first thank you for bringing me here. I wonder if you will just explain things to me. Jack and my Gam-aw were so careful with what they told me. I don’t think I got the whole story about life in the sea.”

  She smiles and nods, “What do you want to know?”

  Here goes, don’t blow this one, Ever.

  “My grandmother told me that she was able to choose the sea and obviously I did too, why? Can anyone choose land or sea?”

  She takes a deep breath, “Wow, they didn’t tell you much, did they?”

  I shrug my shoulders.

  She begins, “In order for you to understand anything you have to know the history of our people.”

  Oh boy, that dreaded subject, history. Hopefully it will be more interesting than history on land.

  She continues, “A long time ago, hundreds of years, there was a man who walked on land. He was an explorer of the sea. The story says that he was abandoned on a deserted island in the Caribbean by his crew. He was a cruel and terrible captain, so they declared a mutiny. He was left for dead and was close to it when a mermaid, who was exploring the area, spotted him. Her name was Metea.”

  She continues, “He was exactly what she was looking for, a human just to spite her father. Metea was mad at her father, the sea king. He forbade all mer-people to ever surface for fear that land people might see them. He was afraid of the repercussions from land and sea people meeting. Metea not only spotted the captain, she nursed him back to health on the island and healed him. Her family had the unique ability to heal with their blood. They fell in love and somehow because she healed him, he was able to transform into a merman and come to the sea with her.”

  She takes a deep breath, “You can imagine what happened next. The sea king was furious when he found out what his daughter had done. He ordered the captain killed.”

  She smirks, “Well, Metea and this captain weren’t going to let that happen so they killed the sea king first. The captain’s name was Seamus.”

  I interrupt, knowing those names from Gam-aw’s story, “Wait so they became the sea powers? Then who is Mersa? My Gam-aw mentioned there are three.”

  She answers with a smile, “Mersa is Metea’s mother.”

  My mouth drops open.

  I ask, “If this happened hundreds of years ago, how are they still alive?”

  She smiles a little curious, “Jack really didn’t tell you much, did he?”

  I shake my head, “Guess not.”

  She laughs, “Merpeople don’t have the same life span as humans on land. We can live for a very long time.”

  I am intrigued, “How long is a very long time?”

  “Possibly thousands of years.”

  I am taken, wow.This makes me think of Jack and whether I really want to know but I ask anyway, “Then how old are you and Jack?”

  She smiles again, “Jack is about seventy-five and I am sixty. We are very young still.” My breath catches again. I am truly shocked and don’t know what to say.

  She asks, “Do you want to hear the rest?”

  I nod at a loss for words.

  She continues, “Now Seamus being from the land and now having the powers of the sea became very powerful. The original sea king suspected the implications of someone on land coming to the sea but he probably didn’t have any idea of the extent of the effects.”

  I interrupt again, “I would think someone on land would be less powerful given we don’t have ‘wills’ like you do.”

  She nods, “You would think, but it is actually quite the opposite. Somewhere in our history it is written how dangerous it can be. When Seamus came to the sea he changed our people forever.”

  She takes a sip of water and continues, “Seamus was pretty smart. He became aware quickly of the implications of having land and sea meet, as Matea’s father had. As a result, he made laws regarding the mixture of land and sea people. These offspring could be very powerful. No more lines were to be established and mer-people were to stay in the sea and land people were to stay on land. At first he was more worried a land walker would come and possibly challenge his power. But later he came to love the sea and our people. He doesn’t want any harm to come to our species.”

  She asks me, “Do you understand so far?”

  I nod with wide eyes and ask, “There’s more?”

  She smiles, “Of course. Many mer-people disagreed with Seamus’ laws so they rebelled and became very dark.”

  I jump in, “Are those people the Erebus?”

  She smiles, “Very good, you’re catching on. At first they weren’t dark but over time they changed and developed ‘wills’ that were more extensive. The mixture of land and sea starting with Seamus tilted the balance of the sea forever.”

  She stops to let me digest everything. I get another glass of water and think about how all of this information relates to my own situation.

  I ask, “So where does my family fall in all of this.”

  She shakes her head, “I knew that question was coming. This is probably why Jack and your Gam-aw only told you parts.” I’m beginning to feel uneasy. I don’t think I’m going to like what she has to tell me.

  “Ever you are related to Seamus.”

  I’m stunned. The man who changed everything and somehow he is related to me. Figures with my luck.

  She goes on, “He and Metea had a son who chose to live on land. They granted it to him with the knowledge that from then on the line would stay on land. He was the continuation of your line on land but he still had mer- blood so it has always been there through the years.”

  I ask, “So my grandmother wasn’t supposed to come to the sea?”

  She shakes her head, “No, her relationship with Jaspen was not taken lightly.”

  I suddenly feel like I need another nap.

  I ask, “If they didn’t want her in the sea then why didn’t they refuse to let her be with Jaspen?”

  She shakes her head and I wait. I think she is doing the Jack thing where I’m not going to get the whole story.

  She answers, “At the time Jaspen was Seamus’closest friend and ally. Seamus created the possibility of a choice starting with your grandmother.”

  She continues, “He did it as a gift for Jaspen.”

  I ask, “So that is why I had a choice for this?” She nods and realizes I am on overload and shutting down.

  She suggests I go and take a nap in one of the rooms. It is night now and my body is used to that time cycle. I wonder how one would know what time it is under the sea but I take her suggestion and head to the first room I can find. The bed has a blanket the color of the ocean and I think about Jack’s eyes. Things would be so much easier to understand and handle if he were here. The void in my chest grows just thinking about him. I miss him so much.

  19

>   Life in the Sea

  When I wake Amber is sitting in the front room reading a book. I walk in and plop down next to her, "What are you reading?"

  She shows me the cover, Romeo and Juliet, one of my favorites.

  I state, “One of the greatest.”

  She looks up and nods, “This is my third go round with it.”

  I smile and think maybe Amber and I are alike in a lot of ways.

  I approach the Jack subject again, “Do you think I can see Jack anytime soon?”

  She sets her book down between us and looks up at me. I can see her eyes have changed to green. I’m starting to wonder if I like this family trait of the Tanners, the telltale of their moods, before they even speak.

  She looks down and starts, “Ever, this whole situation is very delicate.”

  I ask, “What do you mean it’s delicate?”

  She starts to tell me something a couple of times but I can tell she is struggling with what to say. Yet another Jack trait that I am finding a little annoying at the moment.

  She gets up and tells me she needs a drink and asks if I would like anything. I tell her water would be great and then she’s gone into the other room.

  Okay so what can be so hard to tell me? Is Jack still missing? Did Jack get hurt in this whole mess because of me?

  My mind starts to wander and I don’t like the scenarios I conjure. Amber comes back with water and hands it to me before sitting down again.

  She looks straight into my eyes and explains, “Ever, you truly aren’t supposed to be here. To put it bluntly, Jack was sent to make sure you chose to stay on land. Additionally, a message was sent to your Gam-aw so that she could assist and encourage you to stay put.”

  I am a little surprised. Jack? It makes sense though because he was shocked, almost upset when I made the comment about choosing the sea. And Gam-aw, she tried really hard to convince me that I needed to stay on land. I’m starting to get mad at this point. Here I am so what does it matter anymore.

  I tell her angrily, “Well I made this choice whether a wrong one or not and here I am so what now?"

  She looks around the room as if trying to avoid my gaze at all costs. But I’m determined; I cross my arms and stare at her.

  Finally, her cloudy green eyes meet mine and she says with sincerity, “No one can know you are here. Jack sent word to me that you may make this choice and told me to check the beach for you yesterday. He was right. There you were just waiting for me. He also said you are very stubborn.”

  I grin inwardly at that last remark because it sounds so like him.

  I get that familiar ache and ask, “Okay he sent word to you, where is he then and why can’t I see him?”

  She looks at me with a downturned mouth, “Ever, Jack is in a rather precarious situation”

  My heart drops. My worst fears are coming true. She gets up to take our glasses away.

  I tell her, “Tuesday was the last time I saw him. One minute he was at the lake with me and the next he and two Erebus boys were gone, as if they disappeared into thin air.”

  She nods, “Then he must still be with the Erebus.”

  I start to panic asking with a shaky voice, “Will they hurt him?”

  She shakes her head with a confused look. “No, I’m fairly certain they won’t. It is very important that Seamus does not find out that you are here. It will be very bad for me and Jack if he finds out.”

  I’m starting to feel very uncomfortable because from the looks of it, my Gam-aw’s ex is still heartbroken so he could be dangerous to me, and for some reason my great grandfather can’t know that I’m here. Now I am truly wondering if I made the right choice. Where is Jack? He is my only reason for being here.

  I tell her as I stand up, “Well apparently being here is a bad situation all around. Here I am though so let’s make the best of it and find Jack.”

  She laughs, “Jack said you are determined but I didn’t realize.” I smile at that. Maybe I won’t get resistance like I thought.

  She comes to face me and says, “First things first, if you are going to be of any help finding my brother, then we need to get you comfortable with the water.”

  At her last words the room starts to fill with water again. I look at her panicked. She smiles and reminds me, “Remember, ‘will’ your fin.” I nod. Okay think fin…no legs…fin.

  The room is almost completely full and I am treading water almost touching the ceiling. I still have legs and Amber is gone; she has disappeared into the water below. I focus…fin, fin, fin, then I think about Jack and see his amazing, brilliant eyes and suddenly I’m not treading anymore. I duck down into the water and examine the fin that has replaced my legs. The transparent scales are incredibly beautiful and sparkling with the movement of the water. They almost glitter; I can’t take my eyes away from my new appendage. I hear laughing and look up to find Amber laughing at my amazement.

  She giggles, “I guess I didn’t give you a chance to enjoy it before. Did I?” I shake my head staring and admiring.

  She tells me, “Listen Ever, we need to keep a low profile when we swim through the city. I am going to take us around the outskirts so that we can practice.”

  I look up suddenly and ask, “Practice?”

  My voice sounds mesmerizing to my ears as I speak in the water, almost as if I am humming the words. This new world is going to take some getting used to.

  She giggles again at my response to my voice. “Yes, you need to practice and become more acclimated to the sea. Everything underwater is more deliberate if you will. Everything you hear, see, smell, taste, and feel will be more heightened and affect you more than on land.”

  I stare, wide eyed. I have a lot of practicing to do; glancing back at my fin which I can’t believe is a part of me.

  She starts swimming toward the door. It opens for her before she can touch it and I see the water beyond. It is so amazingly beautiful. She takes off and swims left when she leaves the dwelling. I quickly follow. The fin is amazing as it pushes me so fast and I put forth so little effort to keep up I glance around and notice this is not the way we came in yesterday. The dwellings start to change. As we swim they become smaller and look less iridescent than the ones around Amber’s. The colors turn to more muted browns and greens. I also notice there are very few mer-people in the water in this direction.

  I speed up so that I am swimming next to Amber and ask, “Where are all the people?”

  She glances at me and states, “This area is where, how do you say it on land, less gifted mer-people reside.”

  I say, “Oh.”

  I let myself drift back behind her to focus on my surroundings. As we swim the dwellings start to have more space between them until finally we slow down and stop in what looks like a field of sea grasses. It takes my breath away. As far as you can see ahead of us is sprawling green sea grass dancing back and forth with the sway of the water.

  Amber turns around and says with anticipation, “Okay, let’s see what you can do.”

  I must have a confused look on my face because she elaborates, “All mer-people have ‘wills’ but we each have different ones.”

  I say, “Jack…”

  I have to stop because I’m not used to the tone of my voice under the water. It sounds so musical.

  Amber laughs again, “Did Jack share his ‘wills’ with you?”

  I nod and explain, “He showed me his hands and moved a large stone without touching it.”

  She agrees, “Yes, because we were born in the sea and have always been here, we have few ‘wills’. You on the other hand, should have more, being from both worlds.”

  I’m so confused at this point but I assent anyway, “Alright, tell me what to do.”

  She faces me and puts her hands on my shoulders. I see the blue pass over the green in her eyes and think of Jack.

  She explains, “You need to relax and close your eyes. Then focus. The first thing I want you to do is feel the sea around you, become a
part of it, focus on the feel of it and the sounds around you.”

  I close my eyes and picture the color blue. I sway with the water around me and listen for the grasses around us. When I open my eyes a few minutes later, I look around and we are surrounded by a perfect circle of sand where the sea grasses have disappeared. I am shocked. When I look at Amber, I find that she has a huge grin on her face.

  I ask, “Did I do that?”

  She nods excitedly, “What else can you do? I’ve never seen that before.”

  I shrug my shoulders and close my eyes again to focus on the water around us. Suddenly, I feel little pin pricks touching my arms all over. When I open my eyes this time, I find a huge school of silver fish are swimming around us. Amber raises her eyebrows in surprise.

  She exclaims, “Wow, you can summon other sea animals. Try for something bigger.”

  I look at her confused and ask, “Bigger?”

  “Yes, something larger than these tiny fish.” She swirls around in a circle for effect.

  I close my eyes once more and focus. When I open them a couple of minutes later, I hear her gasp, swimming towards us is a huge great white shark. She turns with a mischievous grin on her face.

  I am panicked at this point and I ask, “Should we start swimming the other away?”

  She laughs, “No Ever, on land a shark may be a threat to someone swimming in the ocean for leisure, but a shark is no match for you now.” I nod at her, mesmerized as the shark swims right past me almost glancing my shoulder.

  I suddenly feel tired again as if I could take a day long nap.

  Amber sees this because she tells me, “After exerting your ‘wills’ you may feel really tired, especially after your first time using them. We will practice a little bit more and then head back so you can rest.”

  I ask, “So what’s next?”

  “Let’s see if you can do the usual."

  She explains, “Most mer-people can move things without touching them and have lighted hands.”

  I look down at my hands and ask her, “How does it work?”

  She reminds me, “Remember, you just have to focus and think about it.”

  So I look at my hands and think about lights coming out of them, nothing happens. I try again but close my eyes and remember the little rays, coming from Jack’s fingers the first time I saw him. I open my eyes and my fingers have a dull glow emanating from them.