Jumpers

by Tom Stoppard

  JUMPERS

  PLAYS

  Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead*

  Enter a Free Man*

  The Real Inspector Hound*

  After Margritte*

  Jumpers*

  Travesties*

  Dirty Linen and New-Found-Land*

  Every Good Boy Deserves Favour*

  Night and Day

  Dogg’s Hamlet and Cahoot’s Macbeth*

  The Real Thing

  Rough Crossing

  Hapgood

  Arcadia

  Indian Ink

  The Invention of Love*

  Voyage: The Coast of Utopia Part I*

  Shipwreck: The Coast of Utopia Part II*

  Salvage: The Coast of Utopia Part III*

  TELEVISION SCRIPTS

  A Separate Peace

  Teeth

  Another Moon Called Earth

  Neutral Ground

  Professional Foul

  Squaring the Circle

  RADIO PLAYS

  The Dissolution of Dominic Boot

  “M” Is for Moon Among Other Things

  If You’re Glad I’ll Be Frank

  Albert’s Bridge

  Where Are They Now?

  Artist Descending a Staircase

  The Dog It Was That Died

  In the Native State

  SCREENPLAYS

  Rosencrantz & Guildenstern Are Dead

  Shakespeare in Love (with Marc Norman)

  FICTION

  Lord Malquist & Mr. Moon

  TOM STOPPARD

  Jumpers

  Copyright © 1972 by Tom Stoppard

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the publisher, except by a reviewer, who may quote brief passages in a review. Any members of educational institutions wishing to photocopy part or all of the work for classroom use, or publishers who would like to obtain permission to include the work in an anthology, should send their inquiries to Grove/Atlantic, Inc., 841 Broadway, New York, NY 10003.

  CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this play is subject to a royalty. It is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States, Canada, United Kingdom, and all British Commonwealth countries, and all countries covered by the International Copyright Union, the Pan-American Copyright Convention, and the Universal Copyright Convention. All rights, including professional, amateur, motion picture, recitation, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound taping, all other forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as information storage and retrieval systems and photocopying, and rights of translation into foreign languages, are strictly reserved.

  First-class professional, stock, and amateur applications for permission to perform it, and those other rights stated above, must be made in advance to Samuel French, Inc., 45 West 25th Street, New York, NY 10010.

  “Sentimental Journey” by Bud Green, Les Brown, and Ben Homer, copyright © 1944 by Morley Music Inc., is published in Great Britain by Edwin H. Morris & Co. Ltd., 15 St. George St., London Wl, from whom permission to perform it must be obtained.

  “Forget Yesterday” by Tom Stoppard and Marc Wilkinson copyright © 1972 by Josef Weinberger Ltd., 10 Rathbone Street, London Wl, England, from whom tape recordings of the song itself and the background track of “Sentimental Journey” as recorded by the National Theatre for the original production are available on application for use in other productions.

  Printed in the United States of America

  Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 73-21011

  eBook ISBN-13: 978-0-8021-9538-5

  Grove Press

  841 Broadway

  New York, NY 10003

  For Miriam

  Characters

  GEORGE

  DOROTHY

  ARCHIE

  BONES

  CROUCH

  SECRETARY

  8 JUMPERS who also play:

  SCOTT

  CLEGTHORPE

  and

  USHERS

  CHAPLAINS

  DANCERS

  The play is in two Acts and a

  Coda which follows the second act

  without interruption.

  Jumpers was first performed by the National Theatre Company at the Old Vic Theatre, London, on 2nd February 1972, when the cast was as follows:

  GEORGE

  Michael Hordern

  DOROTHY

  Diana Rigg

  ARCHIE

  Graham Crowden

  BONES

  David Ryall

  CROUCH

  Paul Curran

  SECRETARY

  Anna Carteret

  JUMPERS, etc

  Ray Callaghan

  Tom Dickinson

  Michael Edgar

  Tom Georgeson

  Lionel Guyett

  William Hobbs

  David Howey

  Barry James

  Brian Jameson

  Desmond McNamara

  Riggs O’Hara

  Howard Southern

  Harry Waters

  Directed by Peter Wood

  Designed by Patrick Robertson

  Author’s note

  In preparing previous plays for publication I have tried with some difficulty to arrive at something called a ‘definitive text’, but I now believe that in the case of plays there is no such animal. Each production will throw up its own problems and very often the solution will lie in some minor change to the text, either in the dialogue or in the author’s directions, or both. What follows is a basic version of Jumpers. The National Theatre production was mounted on a revolve stage and this fact alone was responsible for various small changes to the links between scenes. I have also included here the stage directions relating to the wall-sized television screen which the National Theatre was able to provide, but such a screen is not intended to be essential to the play’s workability. I also shortened the play slightly in ways which are not shown here.

  T.S.

  POSTSCRIPT (February 1973):… And indeed, after some months’ absence Jumpers returned to the National Theatre in a slightly altered form. This edition incorporates the changes because they seem to me an improvement on the original. The main alteration consists of having the screens placed round the bed for the first bedroom scene in Act Two, rather than for the final bedroom scene, with a consequent adjustment of the dialogue. This gives a better shape to the Act, and I gratefully record that for this idea, and for much else, I am indebted to Peter Wood whose insight and inventiveness were a crucial influence on Jumpers throughout rehearsals. The other most noticeable change is the disappearance of Scott from the Coda, a more difficult decision but I think on balance the right one; he added little and delayed much.

  There are three playing areas, the STUDY, the BEDROOM, and the HALL.

  There is also a SCREEN, hopefully forming a backdrop to the whole stage. Film and slides are to be back-projected on to this Screen on a scale big enough to allow actors and furniture to mask the images without significantly obscuring them.

  It is an essential requirement of the play that the Bedroom can be blacked out completely while the action continues elsewhere. Where this cannot be achieved by lighting alone, it might be an idea to put the Bedroom in a permanent gauze box; but raising and lowering a gauze screen is not encouraged. Another possibility, where the facility exists would be to put the Bedroom on a revolve.

  For the purpose of the stage directions given hereafter, I am assuming the following layout.

  The FRONT DOOR is Upstage Centre. The HALL is right-angled, c passage coming downstage from the Front Door to the footlights turning Stage Right along
the front of the stage and disappearing intc the wing at Downstage Right, where it leads to unseen Kitchen Living Room, etc.

  The STUDY occupies the whole area stage Left of the Hall and Fron Door.

  The BEDROOM occupies the rest of the stage, i.e., the area inside th reverse-L-shape of the Hall.

  The apartment belongs to GEORGE, a Professor of Moral Philosophy married to a prematurely-retired musical-comedy actress of some re nown, DOROTHY. The general standard of living suggested by the fla owes more, one would guess, to musical comedy than moral philosophy and this is especially true of the Bedroom which is lushly carpeted an includes among its furnishings a television set remotely-controlled by an electronic portable switch; a record player; two elegant straight-backed chairs and one comfortable upholstered chair; a globular gold-fish-bowl containing one goldfish; and a four-poster bed which can be enclosed at will by the drapes adorning its corners. The effect is elegant, feminine, expensive. The Bedroom has two doors, one leading into the wings at Stage Left (the unseen Bathroom), and the second into the Hall. This latter door must be sturdily fixed. It opens inwards, the hinges upstage, so that when this door is wide open the inside of it is hidden from the audience. The room also has a french window, guarded on the exterior by a mock-balcony or balustrade; it overlooks streets and sky, for the flat is in an upper floor of big old-fashioned but newly redecorated and converted mansion.

  The STUDY contains a day-bed against the upstage wall, bookshelves above the bed, a desk and chair for the Secretary, and a bigger desk for George placed against the footlights. On the wings-side of the room is a tall cupboard or wardrobe, and a small wash-basin with mirror. The room contains, somewhere, a tape-recorder; a bow and quiver of arrows, together with an archery target about a yard in diameter; an electric typewriter for the Secretary to use; a smallish wooden box such as a small tortoise might live in, and a large wooden box such as a rabbit might live in. There is a door into the Hall. The window would be in the fourth wall, but not above the desk for that space is occupied by a large (though imaginary) mirror. George’s desk, when we discover it, is a clutter of books and manuscript, and a tumbler containing pencils.

  However, none of the above is visible for the first few minutes of the play, for which is required an empty space….

  THE CHARACTERS

  GEORGE is between 40 and 50, and still attractive enough to make it perfectly plausible that he should be married to DOTTY who is ten to fifteen years younger and very beautiful indeed.

  ARCHIE is a dandy, as old as George or older.

  INSPECTOR BONES is middle-aged and carelessly dressed.

  CROUCH is old and small and a bit stooped.

  The SECRETARY is young and attractive but poker-faced, almost grim, even on her first appearance, in which she performs as a stripper.

  The JUMPERS are dressed in yellow uniforms—tracksuit trousers and singlets—and although they pass muster at first glance, they are not as universally youthful or athletic-looking as one might expect.

  ACT ONE

  ARCHIE (unseen): And now, ladies and gentlemen, on the occasion of a momentous victory at the polls, may I present your hostess and mine, making a most welcome reappearance, the much-missed, much-loved star of the musical stage, the incomparable, magnetic Dorothy Moore!

  (DOTTY enters. Much applause.)

  DOTTY: Thank you, thank you for coming.

  (Music introduction for ‘Shine on Harvest Moon’. She dries.)

  And now, making a most welcome reappearance, the incomparable, unreliable, neurotic Dorothy Moore.

  (Applause. Cheers. Introduction repeated.)

  How does it begin?

  (GUESTS, offstage, sing ‘Shine on, shine on harvest moon’.)

  (Singing, but going wrong immediately.)

  I want to spoon to my honey I’ll croon love’s June or July.

  (Breaks off.) No I can’t. I’m sorry (and goes).

  (Drum roll.)

  Cries of disappointment change to cries of delight.

  Like a pendulum between darkness and darkness, the SECRETARY swings into the spotlight, and out. She is on a swing, making an arc from wing to wing, in sight for a second, out of sight for a second, in sight for a second, out of sight for a second… back and forth. The swing itself hangs from a chandelier.

  Cheers.

  Each time she reappears she has taken off some clothing.

  Grateful cheers.

  CROUCH enters from side, the porter pressed into service to serve drinks at the party. He wears a short white coat and carries a round tray balanced on one hand, drinks on tray.

  He is going to stray into the line of vision. Voices warn him away, good-humouredly.

  CROUCH does not know what is going on: every time he turns downstage, the SECRETARY is in view behind him, and every time he looks upstage the gap is empty.

  ‘Mind your back!’

  ‘Out the way!’

  ‘Let the dog see the rabbit!’

  CROUCH is bewildered.

  The SECRETARY is nearing nakedness, obscured. The unseen watchers are nearing hysterical frustration.

  At the climax of their cries, CROUCH backs into the path of the swing and is knocked arse over tip by a naked lady, BLACKOUT and crash of broken glass. Immediately:

  VOICE (ARCHIE’s voice): ‘And now!—ladies and gentlemen!—the INCREDIBLE—RADICAL!—LIBERAL!!—JUMPERS!!’

  (White spot. Musical introduction.

  EIGHT JUMPERS enter jumping, tumbling, somersaulting, four from each side of the stage: a not especially talented troupe of gymnasts possibly using a trampoline.

  Discreet musical accompaniment.

  Their separate entrances converge to form a tableau of modest pretension.)

  DOTTY (entering): That’s not incredible…. Well, is it? I can sing better than that. I mean I can sing better than they can jump.

  (DOTTY wanders on to the stage in front of the now disassembling tableau. Her blonde hair is elegantly ‘up’, her white dress is long and billowy… she looks fabulous, stunning. She flaps a hand dismissively at the JUMPERS.)

  (Equably.) No good—you’re still credible. (Generally.) Get me someone unbelievable!

  (GEORGE, holding sheets of paper, has already entered behind her, and as DOTTY turns on her last word she is face to face with him, and continues without pause.)

  Promptness I like.

  (GEORGE is not dressed for a party. Flannels and shabby smoking jacket, hair awry, his expression and manner signifying remonstrance. The JUMPERS persevere, doggedly helping each other to do back-flips, etc.)

  I have a complaint. These people are supposed to be incredible and I’m not even astonished. I am not faintly surprised. In fact, not only can I sing better than they can jump, I can probably jump higher than they can sing.

  GEORGE: For God’s sake. It’s after two a.m.

  (She turns to the presumed source of music.)

  DOTTY: Give me a C.

  (GEORGE goes as far as to touch her arm. She turns on him with sudden obliterating fury.)

  It’s my bloody party, George!

  (GEORGE leaves.)

  (A JUMPER flips himself into a standing position in mid-stage.)

  (Equable again.) I can do that.

  (A SECOND JUMPER joins the first.)

  And that.

  (A THIRD JUMPER leaps on to the shoulders of the first two.)

  I can’t do that, but my belief is unshakeable, so get off.

  (To the unseen musicians.) I’ll do the one about the moon.

  I’m sure you know it.

  (A word about DOTTY’s SONG. The musicians attempt to follow her but are thwarted by her inability to distinguish between one moon-song and another, and by her habit of singing the words of one to the tune of another. The music gamely keeps switching tracks, but DOTTY keeps double-crossing it.)

  (Sings.) Shine on, shine on, harvest moon

  I want to spoon

  To my honey I’ll croon love’s June

&n
bsp; Or July——

  —No, that’s not it——

  (Sings.) Shine on, shine on silvery moon

  I used to sigh

  In June or July

  How high the——

  —No, you’ve gone wrong again——

  (Sings.) moon, you saw me standing alone——

  (The last six words have fortuitously combined the words and tune of ‘Blue Moon’.)

  That’s it, that’s it!

  (Now confident, she starts to play the chanteuse, strolling in and out among the dogged JUMPERS, moving upstage of them and turning.)

  (Sings.) Blue moon

  You saw me standing alone

  Without a dream in my heart

  It must have been moonglow

  Way up in the Blue Moon

  You saw me standing——

  No, no——

  (Shouts at JUMPERS.)

  All right, I believe you!—you’re incredible! And now for another song.

  (From now until their act is terminated by events, the JUMPERS are assembling themselves into a human pyramid composed thus: SIX JUMPERS in three-two-one formation, flanked by the other two standing on their hands at the pyramid’s base. When the pyramid is complete it hides DOTTY from view.)

  (Sings.) You saw me standing in June

  January, Allegheny, Moon or July——

  (Jeers.) Jumpers I’ve had—yellow, I’ve had them all! Incredible, barely credible, credible and all too bloody likely——When I say jump, jump!

  (From her tone now it should be apparent that DOTTY, who may have appeared pleasantly drunk, is actually breaking up mentally. And from her position in the near-dark outside the JUMPERS’ light, it should be possible to believe that DOTTY is responsible for what happens next—which is: