by Cara E Holt
Dom squeezes his shoulder. “Use that anger to race him and beat him G.”
Izzy nudges me and gestures with her head at Grayson. She takes Dom’s hand and pulls him round to the other side of the car. I stand and walk so I am stood in front of Grayson.
“You okay?”
He nods, still frowning. “See what I mean now? He’s a shit bag Ev.”
I nod. “I see that. Is your hand okay?”
He laughs then and gives me a smile. “You worried about me Manchester?”
I nod. I move in closer and he opens his legs a bit more so that I am stood between them. “Grayson, this is dangerous. You could get hurt.”
He smiles. “I’ve been doing this a long time Ev. I know what I’m doing.”
I sigh “So cocky and self-assured.”
He reaches out and hooks a finger round the one of the belt loops on my jeans. “I might race better if a certain hot piece of ass, gives me a good luck kiss.”
I blush and look around us, but no one is really watching. He laughs. “You embarrassed to be seen with me?”
I frown at him. “No. It’s just before tonight we have never done this before. You know, touch, in public or in front of those two.”
He grins as he looks over his shoulder at Izzy and Dom. “It’s not like they don’t already know.”
I nod and feeling brave and reckless, I move in closer and wrap my hands around his neck. My eyes meeting his. Then I let my lips meet his and I kiss the life out of him. I pour everything into that kiss and when I pull away he looks at me breathlessly.
“Fuck Ev. If that doesn’t bring me luck nothing will, not that I need luck mind.”
I have to laugh then, there isn’t a bone of self-doubt in this guys body. He keeps his arms around my waist and doesn’t move them when Dom and Izzy come back over. I shuffle my feet and blush feeling somewhat uncomfortable, but Izzy just grins at me and Dom sighs.
“I can’t believe you are boning my step-sister.” He says laughing and Grayson playfully punches him in the arm laughing.
“Erm, excuse me I’m right here you know.”
Dom laughs and gives me a sheepish grin. “Sorry sis.”
The tall guy announces it is racing time and Grayson gives my waist a quick squeeze and then allows Izzy to pull me away.
“Where are we going?”
“Up here. We can get a better view of the whole race from up here.”
I follow her up and embankment and we stand on a concrete type barrel thing. I see Grayson and Dom get in his car.
“Dom goes with him?”
She nods in reply. The two cars take their places either side and some blonde bimbo stands out before them acting like she is in the scene from Grease. She poses and drops the red scarf signalling the start of the race. Both cars screech forward. By the first bend Grayson is in front but Andrews is hot on his tail, he tries to overtake him on the next bend, but Grayson pushes him back.
I grip onto Izzy’s arm and shout “Come on Gray.” I don’t know why I shout it, it’s not like he can hear me. Izzy laughs at me.
“Hot boys and cars huh?”
I laugh. “Okay, yeah this is fun, but it’s still dangerous.”
The cars turn the last bend and Grayson creates further distance.
Izzy laughs. “Grayson will easy win this.”
Grayson pass through the finish line a good few seconds before Andrews.
“Take that Andrews!” Izzy yells cupping her hands round her mouth. We both laugh and hug each other.
Izzy grabs my hand. “Come on, let’s go and congratulate our boys.”
We move down to where the boys are. They have a large crowd around them all congratulating him. Izzy weaves through and pulls me along behind her. Before we can reach the guys a hand grabs me by the waist.
“How about a kiss for the loser.” I spin around, and Andrews is there and he pulls me against him.
“Get off me.” I protest, but he smirks and ignores me.
Izzy yanks on my hand and glares at him. “Get off her, fucker.”
He leans down and tries to kiss me and I move my face back and away from him and push on his chest. The next second, I’m lifted in the air and placed on my feet behind Dom and then I hear a crunch. Turning I see Andrews on the floor his nose all bloody. Grayson grabs him by his jacket and leans into his face.
“You ever touch her again and I’ll break more than your fucking nose Andrews, got that?”
Andrews laughs and pushes Grayson’s hand off him. Two of his friends pull him to his feet and hold him back. He stands there, fists clenched, and I can see he wants to retaliate but his friends stop him from doing so. Grayson turns back and walks over to me. He lifts my chin with his hand softly.
“You okay?”
I nod. “I’m fine. I was just about to kick him in the balls when you moved me away.”
He laughs. “I can speak personally when I say you give a good ball kick too.” I laugh, remembering that I had done that exact thing to him last week. He takes my hand in his.
“Come on, let’s get out of here.”
We all walk back to the car and drive to a pizza hut for food. Grayson holds my hand as we walk into the place and when we sit down he casually rest his arm on the back of the booth behind me. Tonight, it almost feels like we are a real couple and I kind of like it, like a lot. Grayson drops Izzy home and then takes me and Dom home. When the car pulls up Grayson looks at Dom and he rolls his eyes.
“Yeah, yeah I’ll leave you two guys to it.” He says laughing to which Grayson gives him a playful punch in the arm.
I climb out of the car and Grayson comes round to me.
“So tonight was, different.” I state. He grins at me from where he stands in front of me, his hands in his jacket pockets.
“Which part?”
I laugh. The wind keeps blowing my dark hair over my face. “All of it. But mainly us, holding hands, kissing in public.”
He leans forward and tucks my hair behind my ear. “Yeah that was a new experience for me. There are some real dicks at those race meets though, so I needed to make it clear you weren’t available.”
“Oh.” I nod. Disappointment runs through me. I had kind of hoped he hand been like that in public with me because he wanted to, that he was maybe proud to have people think I was his girl.
“I don’t think Andrews got that message.” I say with a nervous laugh.
Grayson frowns. “No, but I think he’s got it now. The guys a total dick.”
“Yeah I see that.” I pause and ask the question I have been dying to ask for some time. “What went down with the two of you?”
Grayson sighs and places a hand on my hip. “It’s a long story. Not one you need to know.”
“Okay.”
He leans in and takes my face in his hands. “I wish I could stay with you tonight.”
My annoyance at his refusal to tell me about Andrews disappears in a heartbeat and my thoughts are suddenly all about this boy in front of me.
“I wish you could too. Why don’t you, stay?”
“My dad’s actually home for once, so I should show my face.”
He leans in then and kisses me. I could kiss this boy all day and never get bored of doing so. He was addictive and I was an addict.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
I freeze up and I can tell he notices it. “I erm, I have somewhere I need to be in the morning, but I’ll be done around eleven.”
“Counselling?”
I shake my head. “No. It’s something I’m not ready to share with anyone yet.”
He doesn’t push any further and just nods and leans in and kisses me. “Goodnight Manchester.”
“Goodnight Posh.”
Chapter Fifteen.
I feel sick Saturday morning. I know this would be good for me, but I was still nervous. Sophie is driving me there. We have just dropped Dad and Ollie off at his swimming lesson. Ollie had sulked that I wasn’t going in to
watch him, but I promised him that I would go and watch next week, which had put the smile back on his face.
“That son of mine adores you, you know.” Sophie tells me smiling, as we drive to the centre.
I grin back. “I adore him too. It’s kind of nice having a little brother.”
She nods, her green eyes meeting mine. “Are you happy here Everly? We really want you to feel like this is your home now?”
I nod. “Yeah I am. I mean, I miss my mum and my old house and my friends, but yeah I’m happy.”
She pulls up on the car park at the hospital. I hated hospitals, they reminded me of that dark time in my life. I had spent four months in hospital and then had to go back and forth with my mum when she started her treatment.
Sophie squeezes my hand and gives me a look of understanding. “I can walk in with you, if you want?”
I smile and take a deep breath. “No, I need to do this on my own.”
When I eventually find the room, there are a number of people already in there, stood chatting with brews in their hands. A lady with wild curly blonde hair spots me and comes over.
“Everly?”
I nod. She holds out a hand for me to shake. “I’m Cora. I’m the group facilitator. Please don’t be nervous. This is a group where you can talk freely and not be judged.”
She claps her hands to get everyone’s attention. “Okay everyone, let’s take a seat and get started.” Everyone moves to the circle of seats in the centre of the room. Cora gestures for me to follow her and I take a seat beside a sandy haired girl who looks similar age to me.
“Everyone, we have a new group member to day. This is Everly.”
They all smile and at me and greet me. “Everly would you like to introduce yourself. If you don’t that is fine though.” She gives me an encouraging smile.
I take a big breath in. “Hi as you already now know, I’m Everly. I am a recovering anorexic and it’s been five months since I left the eating disorder unit.”
They all clap and welcome me again and then Cora asks who would like to start. An older lady named Kay starts. She tells everyone how she has had a difficult week and how she hasn’t been feeling great.
An hour later I climb into Sophie’s car. Dad and Sophie are up in the front and Ollie is in the back.
“Are you sick?” Ollie asks me, looking concerned.
“No kiddo. I just had an appointment, but I’m not sick I promise.”
He nods but still looks concerned.
My Dad looks back at me as Sophie pulls away. “How did it go?”
“It was good.” I tell him which instantly makes him relax.
When we get home, I can hear music coming from the basement, meaning Dom has company and I get butterflies in my tummy wondering if Grayson is here.
I head up to my room and collapse on my bed. I was feeling drained from this morning. Don’t get me wrong, the group had been good. It felt good to be around people who understood me. So many people think they understand anorexia, but the truth is only an anorexic can understand anorexia. I had swapped numbers with the girl I had sat next to, who I had discovered was called Grace and she live in the next town from us. I text Shaun and told him about the group, knowing he would want to know how it had gone. I missed Shaun, a lot. He had been my rock when I was in hospital and then again when my mum was ill. I would facetime him later. It always cheered me up, seeing his face. My phone pings, and I smile, expecting it to Shaun but my smile goes even wider when I see it is from Grayson.
Are you back yet?
Just got back now.
Come down to the den.
I quickly check myself over in the mirror and head down to the den. My heart was beating fast in my chest at the thought of seeing him. Well that was new. Since when did I get nervous about seeing Grayson St. Clair?
When I walk in there I’m surprised to just see Dom and Grayson. I had expected all the guys to be round.
“Hey.” I say as a sit on the edge of the sofa.
Grayson looks over at me and winks. “Had a good morning?”
“Everly is sick. She’s been to the hospital.” A little voice announces. I hadn’t seen Ollie sat on the floor playing with his Lego.
I feel both Dom and Grayson’s concerned eyes on me.
“You’re sick?” Grayson asks me.
I laugh. “No, I’m not sick, just a routine appointment. Honestly guys, I’m fine.”
Dom nods and turns his attention back to the game, but Grayson keeps his eyes on me, studying me.
“I’m fine.” I tell him and look away.
I walk and sit beside Ollie. “What you building kiddo?”
“A space station.” His brow is furrowed as he concentrates, which makes him look super cute.
“Can I help?”
He beams at me. “Yeah. Here.” He puts a load of Lego in my hand. “You can build the sleep pods.”
“Sleep pods huh? Okay I’ll do my best.”
I spend the next half hour building with Ollie whilst the boys play on GTA. I hear the doorbell go and two seconds later Izzy walks into the den. She plops herself down beside Dom and grabs his face to kiss him.
“Yuck.” Ollie says, he leans and whispers in me ear. “They are always kissing, it’s yucky.”
I laugh and scrunch up my nose in mock disgust. “It is, isn’t it?”
Sophie shouts Ollie to tell him his play date is here, and he dashes off upstairs without a backward glance, leaving me with the Lego.
Izzy pats the seat next to her and I stand and go to sit beside her. “How long have they been on this game?”
I shrug. “I’ve been down here about half an hour.”
Izzy nudges Dom whose eyes don’t leave the TV screen. “Come on Dom. I’m bored let’s do something.”
My phone pings, and I scroll the screen expecting it to be a reply from Shaun, but I am disappointed when it’s just a text from my phone network. It’s not like Shaun not to text me straight back. That boy is constantly on his phone.
The boys game ends and Dom turns the Tv over on to the sports channel.
“Oh no way.” Izzy warns and she climbs on Dom’s lap and gives him the puppy eyes. He grins at her and pulls her in for a kiss. I look away giving them privacy and Grayson’s eyes meet mine and he rolls his eyes. He gestures with his head for me to go over to him, so I stand up and walk over to the other side of the sofa and sit beside him.
“What are the plans for today?” Izzy asks, still sat straddling Dom.
I feel Grayson place a hand on my leg and I try not to jump at the feel of his touch and to look chilled. Grayson shrugs and then looks at me.
“What do you want to do?” They all look expectantly at me.
“I have no clue. New here remember. I have no idea what there is to around here.”
Izzy nods. “That’s true.” Then she grins, an idea having clearly come to her. “Let’s go to the roller rink.”
Dom groans. “You know I’m shit at that skating lark.”
My phone rings then interrupting the conversation and I smile when I see it is Shaun’s number.
I look at them all. “I need to take this.” I stand up and walk over to the pool table and leave Izzy and Dom debating about the roller rink.
“Hey you. I thought you were ignoring me.”
“Everly.” I realise straight away that this isn’t Shaun’s voice. “It’s Kelly. Shaun’s mum.”
“Oh, hi Mrs C. Is everything okay?”
“Not really honey. Shaun’s back in hospital.”
My heart sinks and I lean against the pool table. “He is. Is he okay?”
His mum sighs down the phone and I can feel the worry in her voice. “I honestly don’t know Everly. He’d been hiding it from us for some time. I don’t want to put you on the spot, but had he said anything to you?”
“No nothing. Last time I spoke with him, he seemed really good. He’s been texting me all the time too.”
She sighs again. “Well.
I’m taking his phone in for him later today, so I’ll ask him to give you a call.”
“Okay. Will you ring me and let me know how he is doing?”
“Of course, sweet heart. I know how much you two support each other. You take care.”
“You too. Please give him my love Mrs C.”
She ends the call and I sit there for a minute, resting my phone on my forehead. Shaun was sick again. How had I not picked up on this? My heart was sick with worry. Shaun had always been the strong one, the one who propped me up and inspired me to believe I could get better.
Grayson comes to stand before me. “You okay?”
I look up at him and I know he can see the worry on my face. “Honestly? Not really. My friend Shaun is sick.”
“What’s the matter with him?”
I bite my lip and look at him apologetically. “It wouldn’t be fair of me to discuss his personal issues with you, but he’s in the hospital.”
Grayson hooks a finger into a belt loop on my jeans and pulls me into him and gives me a hug.
“I’m sorry your friend his sick. He seemed like a funny guy.”
I grin. “He’s hilarious.”
“Right boys and girls.” Izzy announces and drags Dom up with her. “We are going roller skating!”
I hear Dom groan and I laugh.
“We’ll meet you upstairs in a minute.”
Dom groans again. “Yeah yeah, no having sex on my pool table.”
Izzy whacks him on the chest and pushes him out the room, giving me and Grayson a wink as she pushes him through the door.
Grayson puts and arm around my waist and sits me on the pool table and moves between my legs. His hands move to hold my neck and he tilts my head up.
“I have wanted to do this all morning.” He tells me smiling, as his lips come down on mine. I grip onto his arms and kiss him back. I hadn’t realised how much I needed this too. Grayson’s touch makes me come alive. My tongue dances with his and I groan into his mouth. Could I ever kiss him and not want more?
He breaks the kiss and gives me a look that tells me he fees the same. “We better stop before I do exactly what Dom just warned us not to do.”
